1

(December, 2019)

Alyssa's POV

I just got here in Ateneo's parking lot. 6:30 pm, reads the time on my watch. I turned off my car's engine and checked myself in my rearview mirror.

I took a deep breath, "I don't even know why do you still have to do this but no more turning back. You can do this.", trying to calm myself.

As I get off my car, I felt the cold December breeze all over my face.

"Geez, that's cold!", I said while grabbing my black hoodie and finally started walking away from my car.

I walked past our previous dormitory, the Eliazo, and went straight to the park just a couple of walks away from there and went to my favorite spot where you'll see a swing in the middle of the tall pine trees. This is where I used to go whenever I wanted to relax, to clear my mind up and to simply have my time alone during my college years. This became my own fortress, my own place I'd say, until another person started sharing this beautiful place with me.

And that person is right there. She's already seated on the swing while her back is facing my direction.

"I didn't know you'd be here so early.", I said trying to get the attention of that person, while sitting beside her on the swing.

She looked at me and smiled but it didn't reached her eyes. I am still trying to avoid her gaze but in my peripheral vision, I know that smile did not reached her eyes.

"I didn't know you'd come late. We're supposed to be meeting at 6 o'clock.", she rebutted.

"Hey, I told Ella to tell you to be here at 7. Not 6, Dennise. There's a one-hour gap right there.", I said and this time, it's my turn to look into her eyes.

Our eyes met. For the first time after our break up. It was so sudden. I don't even have any idea what happened to us. This is the first time in, say what, 4 years? This is the first time we'll be having a private conversation, or any kind of conversation at all since 2015.

Yes, Dennise and I were in a romantic relationship since 1st year in highschool until our last anniversary together that same year, 2015.

Alyden? Of course, we're fully aware of that ship. We did our best to keep our relationship unknown to public. Even our best of friends found out late, I believe somewhere between 2nd and 3rd year of college when Ella figured it all out. Actually it was just by accident, my phone was ringing and it was Dennise's name on the screen. So Ella, being our best friend, answered the phone for me as I am still taking a bath at that time. So this is what happened based on Ella's story.

"Besh! Your phone's been ringing for the nth time now!", Ella shouted.

"Ella please take a look at it for me, I just started bathing.", I asked of her.

"Got it, oh it's Dennise!", she shouted before answering.

When she answered the phonecall, she said she was too stunned to speak.

This is how their conversation went.

After she answered the call,

"Babe! What's taking you and Ella so long?! I've been waiting here for over half an hour now! If you don't come here in 10 minutes I swear Alyssa, you're not gonna like it!"

Ella still trying to find the words as she double checked the name on the phone. It reads "Dennise".

The voice also sounded so Dennise.

After a minute of not responding, Ella heard the other person on the line started talking once again.

"Alyssa! Ano ba? Why are you not answering?! After I hang up, I swear I'll start my timer, after 10 minutes if you're still not here just forget about our date for tomorrow!"

"Besh.", and that's the only thing Ella was able to utter after confirming it was Dennise Michelle Lazaro. Calling their best friend 'babe', threatening her about cancelling their 'date' for tomorrow.

"What the -, Ella?! Why in the world do you have Alyssa's phone?! Jorella Marie!", the latter shouted at her.

"Dennise! What the hell?! Babe?! Don't tell me, oh no. Unbelievable! Dennise! Kailan pa naging babe ang besh?! My gosh Dennise!"

"Besh, I can explain, just put Alyssa on the phone! Geez Jorella Marie! Napaka-pakialamera mo ng gamit! That's her phone!"

"Dennise huwag mo akong sigaw sigawan, naku malilintikan kayo sa akin niyang si Alyssa na iyan!"

"Besh, come on just put her on the pho-"

Ella then ended the phonecall.

She sat on her bed and waited for me to come out of the bathroom.

"What?", I asked as soon as I saw her looking at me with her furrowed eyebrows.

"So babe, huh?", she asked.

My eyes went from squinting out of confusion to full wide open after realization hitting me hard.

"Besh, I will explain."

"You better. Gosh, we've been best friends since getting here in Ateneo Ly. I defended you both to those people who kept saying something's so fishy between the two of you. I didn't even had a clue."

"I'm sorry besh. We'll talk about this later, okay?"

She just nodded.

After that, the rest is history.

"I've missed you.", she said, bringing me back to reality.

"Been a while, really. How have you been?"

"I'm getting married just a few weeks from now, Alyssa."

What?! Getting what?

"I'm sorry, you're what?", I asked, trying to see if I heard it correctly. I was somehow hoping it was something else.

"I'm tying the knots, with LA. I wanted you to be the first to know about it. You're my longest best friend, after all."

So I heard it right. I knew this was coming as I have been receiving updates from our friends. Mostly from Ella saying she heard it might be true or not.

"Okay.", I answered while avoiding her eyes by looking in front of me.

"That's it? Okay? That's the best you can do?", she asked.

"Uhm, what else do you want to hear? Congratulations? Best wishes to the two of you?", I asked her with full sarcasm.

"Atleast tell me something you were not able to tell me before. Tell me whatever you have to tell me, Alyssa. Let me finally have that closure we never had."

She covers her face with both of her hands as she started crying her heart out.

"Closure? You turned your back on me, Dennise! Baka nakakalimutan mo? You broke up with me. Now, after all these years, you're going to ask to meet with me through Ella, out of nowhere to fucking tell me you're getting married?! And the audacity of you asking me to give you your closure? Wow. You got the nerve."

"You never let me explain what happened. You never went after me, Ly. Hinayaan mo nalang rin na mapunta tayo sa ganoong sitwasyon. After that, you cut all of your connections with me, even with my family! How could you? You promised not to give up on us, but you never went after me."

"Really? Dennise? Can you even hear yourself?! Dennise, ako ang iniwan mo sa kawalan. Without any reasons. You even broke up with me over the phone! On our anniversary at that. How can you even say these things to me now? Magpapakasal ka na? Then go and be happy! Why do you have to bother me, anyway? I have nothing to do with you or your little precious fiancé! Gosh, Dennise! I regret meeting up with you here. I shouldn't have let my guard down. You want closure? Then this is it. Take this as your fucking closure and just be happy with your life!"

*Pak*

She slapped me across my face, hard. As we're now standing in front of each other.

She's still crying. Her eyes are all puffed and her nose is all red, indicating that she's crying real hard. It breaks my heart. I can't see her like this.

I held my cheek where her solid slap landed and gave her a sad smile.

"How can you not go after me? I've waited for you. I've waited for you to come and rescue me. You don't have any idea, Ly. How much I've prayed, how long the nights were, waiting for you, still hoping for you to come and save me."

"Save you from what? What exactly, Dennise?"

She shook her head, "There's no point of knowing it anymore, I'll be marrying him by January anyway and there's no more turning back this time."

She started wiping her tears that are still flowing through her cheeks.

"I don't understand, Dennise. I went through so much after you left. We tried to be civil as our careers were on the line during those conferences. Sa totoo lang hindi ko rin alam bakit magkausap pa tayo ngayon, I hated you for all those times kasi sinira mo ako. Sinira mo lahat ng pangarap ko. Lahat ng pinangarap nating dalawa. But now, you kept talking nonsense. Why does it look like ako pa ang may kasalanan? I didn't went after you? I tried my best, Dennise. I went after you. Atleast for a year. I didn't just gave up on us that easy, Den. Pero what happened? 2016? You're already in another relationship. And that's the time I knew, I knew I had to stop. It broke me inside even more. Yung durog na, lalo mo pang dinurog. Naramdaman ko na lahat, sakit, galit, lungkot at pagsisisi. Hanggang isang araw, pag gising ko. Wala na akong maramdaman. Namanhid nalang ako at para bang gusto ko nalang magsimula muli. Buhay na ako nalang mag isa, buhay kung saan wala ka na talaga."

"I just thought you'd try everything to save me. Pero I was wrong. Naging kayo na rin ni Kiefer that year di ba?That's also the time I knew you have given up on me, on us."

"Why? Do you think you're the only person who can get out of that 9-year relationship?"

"I never wanted any of those, Ly. Up to this day, I'm still hoping to be saved."

I held her hand that's still wiping her non stop tears. And used my thumb to brush the tears that are still falling. Hindi ko na rin maintindihan kung ano bang mga sinasabi niya pero naguumpisa na akong makaramdam ng kakaiba. Bukod sa lungkot, may halo nang takot ang nakikita ko sa mga mata niya.

"Dennise, I'm so tired of this. All these pain, crying. Alam kong pagod ka na rin. I can see how sad you are, I am not sure if that's fear I am seeing in your eyes, but, if you really wanna do this, okay. If you want closure, okay. I don't have much to say actually. But, ..." I pulled her in for a hug, "... here, let me tell you this. I loved you so much, you know I did. I tried getting you back but for some reason it was too hard to even talk to you during those times, you never allowed me near you. So I just followed you around. I tried talking to your parents about us, but they said whatever your decision is, that's what they will respect. Dennise, look at me.", I guided her chin up for her eyes to meet with mine. "Our time was so beautiful, but ended tragically. And this is where we at now. I am still with someone else, as you are about to start a new life with him as well. This is it. This is the closure you need. I will be there if you want me to.", and gave her a reassuring smile.

"I never wanted any of this. But okay. I just want you to know, I loved you so much as well, I still do, Alyssa. And everything I have ever done, and what I'm about to do is still for you.", she said while still crying.

She still loves me. What?! And, lahat ng ginawa niya ay para sa akin? Hindi ko na talaga maintindihan.

Habang naguguluhan ay bigla ko nalang naramdaman ang mga labi niya sa akin.

Napatigil ako. Hindi ako makagalaw.

"Dennise.", sabi ko habang bahagyang inilayo siya sa akin habang hawak ko ang dalawa niyang mga balikat.

"Just let me, baby. Kahit sa huling pagkakataon. Kahit ito nalang. Kahit ngayon nalang. I've been longing for you for so long, Alyssa. I miss your smile, your touch, your voice. I miss those lips. I miss being yours and you being mine. I hate it whenever I see you with him. I hate myself for not being able to do all those things with you. Ako dapat yun, Ly."

"Den, ano bang nangyayari? Anong nangyari that year? Why do you keep saying things that don't make any sense to me?"

"Now that it's too late the only thing you need to know is that, I still love you very much. And everything I ever did was for you. Because I love you this much."

She didn't let me ask another question and decided to claim my lips with hers. She held me on the back of my head while grabbing my hair gently. From a soft kiss, she is now becoming more aggressive. She started licking my lower lip asking access inside. I don't have any control anymore, I missed her so much. All the pain and angst I had before, vanished as soon as she landed her lips to mine. So I grant her access and now our tongues instantly had a mind of their own, battling hungrily against each other.

I wrapped my left arm around her waist and the other on her nape to support and guide her head as our kiss deepens.

After a couple of minutes, we ran out of breath so we had to end the kiss to catch some air.

We were gasping, literally. It was so intense.

She smiled bitterly.

"I don't know about you, but I know I am still so inlove with you."

"Then why? Why are you marrying him?"

Again, she shook her head. "I have to.", that's the only answer she gave.

"Den, I- I'm with Kiefer now. This is wrong. You're also with someone else. You're getting married, for pete's sake! You can't just say you're still in love with me, Dennise."

"But I am. My love for you never faded. After all these years, you still own my heart. And my home is still and will always be you, babe."

"I am so sorry, Dennise. Things are completely different now."

"Do you love him? More than you ever loved me?"

"How can you even compare them? And it does not matter anymore. Ikakasal ka na."

"Well, it matters to me. Because I still love you."

"Dennise, stop saying that already. Kung mahal mo pa pala ako noon pa man, e di sana hindi tayo nagkahiwalay, sana hindi mo ako iniwan."

"Ly, just be there if you can. That's the least thing you can do for me. I'll have Ella as my bride's maid. And ikaw, I just need you to be there for me."

"I will. I'll be there just as you wanted. "

"Thank you, Alyssa.", she said and kissed me in the cheek for the last time before walking away.

Hindi na ako nakapag salita pa. Wala na ring pumapasok na kahit ano sa isip ko. Hindi na rin ako nakagalaw pa sa kinatatayuan ko hanggang sa makaalis na siya, at tuluyan nang mawala sa mga paningin ko.

Napahawak na lamang ako sa mga labi ko na kanina ay ginawang pag mamay-ari ng isang Dennise Michelle Lazaro.

Mahal pa rin niya ako. Bakit niya ako iniwan kung totoo man iyon. Bakit napunta kami sa ganitong sitwasyon? Bakit kailangang sabihin pa niya lahat ng iyon kung magpapatuloy naman siya sa pagpapakasal sa iba? At ano namang kailangan kong gawin? May dapat ba akong gawin? Or hahayaan ko nalang mangyari ang lahat?

Sa dami rami ng iniisip ko, may isang bagay rin akong sana nasabi ko sa iyo.

Mahal na mahal pa rin kita, Dennise.

---

Author's Note:

Hi guys! Sorry miss ko lang talaga mag basa ng fanfictions nila. Kaya nung nabitin ako, dahil wala na ngang ganap (malamang), eh wala na rin akong mabasa dito sa Wattpad. So naisip ko, baka time na para magsulat naman, at nang may mabasa rin ako 😆

Hindi ako mahusay mag sulat guys kaya patawarin niyo na ako!

I'll see you next chapter, lemons! 🍋

#AD#Alyden#nevershallwesink#purefanfiction!