Chapter 10 {Trip down Memory Lane}

******Dinah's POV*******

What the fuck did I just do? I raised my hand as a threat to the woman I loved. I had made myself a threat to her, I was a source of fear to her. She would never trust me again after this.

I was driving home with tears in my eyes, and I could barely see the road. There was traffic, even though it was late in the evening. I had a terrible pain in my heart, and it felt like I was dying. I started to cough a little, and then I decided it would be best to pull over. I broke down into tears, literally crying a river. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry" I chanted. I was sorry for letting my anger get the best of me and hurting Keaton. I'm sorry for fighting with Lauren. and I'm sorry for raising my hand at her.

I got a phone call from Ally, and I quickly answered. "Hello?" I said. "What the fuck did you do" she yelled. "I-I -I....I raised my hand to hit her" I said quietly, hanging my head in shame. "She locked herself in her room and isn't letting anyone near her, she's shutting us out". I put my head on the steering wheel,"No. No. No. No! This is all my fault".

"Ally, I messed up but I still love her. What should I do to fix myself" I asked. I heard her sigh, "I'm gonna try to try to get through to Lauren, but maybe Normani can help you out". I continually repeated I was sorry, though it wouldn't change what I did to her. I was gonna hurt my baby girl.

When I got home I ran up to my house through the paparazzi, covering my hands with my eyes. When I got into the house I saw Normani making dinner in the kitchen. I ran over to her, in desperate need of a hug. "Manibear?" I said, and she turned around quickly at the sound of me crying. "Dinah, what happened sweetheart" she said, pulling me over to the couch.

She held me while I cried into her, "What happened sweetheart". I explained everything that happened, from Keaton to threatening Lauren. "I'm a monster DJ, I threatened to hurt the woman I love". She thought for a moment, "Well, first we need to channel your anger in a more positive way. Get some rest, cause we start tomorrow". I nodded and went to bed, but I couldn't sleep. I needed Lauren to call me and say goodnight to me like we always did....as corny as it sounds. In the midst of my thoughts, I fell asleep.

I was sleeping peacefully, but then a loud horn blasted in my ears. "GOOD MORNING DINAH JANE!!!!" Normani screamed, and I groaned while putting a pillow over my head. that's when I felt my matress tip over, and I rolled out of bed and onto the floor. "Okay okay, I'm up" I said. Normani smiled to herself, "Good, now go get showered and I'll have an outfit out for you when you get back".

I took a quick shower and then walked back to my room to see blue sweatsuit, a black tank top, and a blue and black Nikes. I was putting the jacket on, when a note fell out the pocket. 'Dinah, you've got some work to do. I need you to remember all the places you and Lauren have been together and the order you went there. Start from the day you met until now. Btw: I took the keys, so you'll be running'. I sighed in frustration, how was this gonna help me get Lauren back?

I just shrugged it off and went to the kitchen, where I saw another note and a smoothie. 'Drink this, it should keep you full until lunch'. I drank the smoothie and almost threw up. "What is in this" I said aloud. I was starving, so I finished it. I swear I was going to throw up, but I somehow managed to hold it down. I walked towards the door, where there was another note. 'You have to meet me at the last location by 12 o'clock, get moving turtle'. I laughed a little bit, and then exited my apartment.

I was shocked when I saw no paparazzi outside, but fans who were calmly waiting to see me. "Good morning Dinah" they said in unison. "OMG, you guys are so sweet, I'm kinda in a hurry though". They 'awed' together, and I felt bad. There were only like 10 people, I could sign a few things. "Line up and I'll give you guys a little something".

There were woman(very flirty), gay men, and some teen girls with their girlfriends. One couple in particular caught my eye. There was a dirty blonde caramel skinned girl and the other girl had dark hair and stunning greenish eyes. It reminded of me and Lauren, who I was determined to get back. I signed my magazine cover for them, and even wrongs down my number so we could talk. There was something special about them. I figure out their names were Andrea and Jordan.

After I signed their things and took some pictures, they cleared out and I began my journey. I remembered the first place I met Lauren like the back of my hand...the Diner. I ran down there quickly, realizing that I spent a lot more time talking to the fans than I intended. When I got to the diner, I saw a note hanging from the door. 'Don't go inside yet, after you're ready you can see her again. Now head to the spot of you're first date'.

I made my way down to the lake, and I started to sweat a little. It was hot and the air was so thick, so it was difficult to breath normally. When I got down to the lake, it looked almost as beautiful as I did when I brought Lauren here. Even without decorations, it looked stunning...just like my baby gurl. Jesus, I missed her so much.

I went to the lake where I took Lauren on the boat, and I saw the note in a branch that was hangin of the lake. I had to get into the boat to get there. I got in and started to row, humming to myself. I grabbed the note and rowed back to shore, where I sat in the dirt and read it. 'Good job DJ, nearly there. Now head to the place where Lauren sang to you to keep you calm'. I thought for a moment....the alley.

That's all the way across town, ugh! I was getting a little upset, and my fist started to clench up. I quickly relaxed my hand, realizing I was getting worked up again. Just remember who this is for Dinah-Jane. Do it for yourself, the ones you love, the ones who love you....and especially for Lauren.

I continued my journey to the alley, where I cried a little in thought of the memory. I thought I was gonna die that day, and that I was never going to get my chance with Lauren. And then I headed to the hospital next, and I cried a little again. 'This is where you asked Lauren to be yours. This is where you guys expressed your feelings for each other. You were laying on your deathbed, not sure if you would live, and Lauren was there the whole time'. That note made me feel even worst, and more determined.

I flipped the note over and saw there was an address. I typed it into my phone and ran there, completely exhausted from my day full of running. When I got there I saw Normani and Arin outside, waiting for me I guess. "Welcome to your new anger therapy".