11

On the expedition you and Hange rode side by side in the front of both your squads. This expedition was to clear out most of Wall Maria where most titans were.

At this time Wall Maria had fallen not too long ago and it was Commander Erwin's goal to clear out most of it and rescue any remaining survivors.

You had killed at least 5 titans on the way. Your palms felt sweaty, as you gripped onto the saddle. You felt tired since the expedition had already been going on for the whole morning. But as a section commander you had to keep your composure strong and confident and act as none of this was bothering you.

"You alright?" Asked Hange who was by your side. You hated how they could read you so easily.

"Yeah, you?" You asked, trying to avoid their question.

"Yeah." They said back. You both kept riding on as everyone was silent and the only sound heard was the horses galloping.

You looked up as you saw a red flare signal. Levi's squad was right in front so were sure they got it.

Your squad turned left avoiding the titans and went to the side seeing a green flare shoot up.

-

The expedition was coming to an end as Commander Erwin let the signal out to turn back. You and Hange's squads were successful with every titan that crossed their path being able to kill them without losing anyone so this was a victory to you.

You sighed in relief. You wanted more than to just go back to your room taking off all your gear and falling right into sleep but you knew there were more things to do. Such as documenting everything that happened and other section commander duties.

"Well, I guess this is it." Said Hange to you as you rode back.

You looked up at them in confusion. Then realized that you would no longer see them as you were only made to work together up to the expedition. You didn't know how to feel. You had just gotten them back. Of course you didn't feel the way you used to about them, at least you thought? But you still wanted to save the friendship.

"I guess it is." Is all you said looking ahead.

-

Finally back home. You tiredly went to your desk, kicking off your boots, and laying your body lazily on your desk. But, you had no time for that so you had to start writing out everything.

Your door then burst open and you jumped up to see Hange. "I'm sorry for not knocking." They said as they saw they startled you.

"It's fine." You said trying to hold back a yawn.

"I wanted to let you know that I documented our whole mission and that you don't have to do anything. You should get some rest Y/n." They said.

You being so tired tried to make out everything. They did it? All of it?

Without caring you blurted out something to them. "Hange.." You said as she just kept looking at you.

"Hmm."

"I just don't understand all of this. What's happening with me and you?"

"I don't know." They replied. They came up to you as they helped you up out of your chair. Your limbs felt achy from the ODM gear and your body was tired. This was probably from eating less. Your body needs food to have energy.

She laid you down on your bed that was on the side of the room and you shut your eyes as they became heavy. She put the blanket over you and you fell asleep right away.

Tears began to fall from her face. She hated how she wasted all those years hating you for something you didn't do. She felt bad and blamed herself for all the stress she caused on you. You were now a serious person that had no time for things but work and she felt as if she couldn't recognize you like this. You were her best friend and she couldn't even trust you when you needed her most.

She looked down at your face as her palm met the side of your cheek. Her thumb went over the bags that laid under your eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Y/n." She sobbed quietly.

They couldn't forgive themselves. Feeling all this pain inside. They couldn't help but think they deserved it for all the pain they caused you.

"If I could go back to the day on the roof I would. I would hear you out and then I'd hold you tight in my arms." She whispered.

They were still deeply in love with you. No matter what. Their heart ached to be with you.

-

You woke up to the window light shining in your eyes. Your eyes squinted as it was being and you got up looking around the room.

You saw Levi sitting at your desk cleaning up your piles and piles of paper. You rolled your eyes getting up.

"You really couldn't help yourself, could you?" You asked and he shot you a look.

"You keep getting messier. I don't understand how you two work like this." He scoffed.

"You two?" You eyed him curious about the other person he meant.

He sighed, getting up towards the door. "Hange. You dumbass." He said then leaving.

You then remembered her messy office that was nowhere near clean. It made you annoyed how he would even dare speak about your office and compare it to theirs.

"Do not even think about comparing mine to theirs Levi! Theirs is an actual mess!" You yelled to him as you could hear his chuckle as he walked down the hall.

You started to get ready, putting everything on and walking straight to the mess hall to get coffee. As you sat in the mess hall drinking alone you were left with your thoughts.

But all you could think about was the brown haired, titan freak, that used to be your love interest, and was now in a complicated friendship with you. You didn't exactly know how you felt about her.

She did apologize though. But it hurts you. Deep inside you wished that all those years you could have had her, and there was no going back.

"Whatcha thinking about?" You heard behind you and jumped. It was Hange with a smile. She held a cup of coffee in her hand.

"May I join you?" They asked and you nodded tapping the seat next to you.

They sat next to you getting comfortable and sighed. "Yesterday's expedition wasn't so bad." They said, while you agreed.

"Our squads being together really helped." You said and they smiled.

"So are you saying that we make a good team?" They asked and you could hear the teasing behind it.

You rolled your eyes. "Yeah, I guess." You finally said as she started to laugh.

Their laugh. It had been so long since you heard it, and this time you could tell it was her actual laugh. You missed it so much.

Your smile faded remembering you would no longer see them as much anymore. You both had gotten so close again. You didn't want to lose them.

"Do you want to go out to town tonight? I have a few paperwork to finish with Moblit and then I'm free. If you want of course, and only if you can." They said ending the silence. You smiled. It was like they had read your mind.

"Also it's not like a date or anything it's just-" You then interrupted them.

"Sounds good. I'm free all day since you did most of the work for me, and Levi also cleaned my office, which I was planning on doing today. But, you know, it's Levi." You said.

"Ah, he beat you to it. I see. It does sound like our Levi." She laughed.

"Hey, enough talking about me." You heard from the short man and looked up to see him across the room walking over. You and Hange both started to laugh.

"It's not funny!" He yelled but you and Hange couldn't help it.

-

All day you got to rest and just focus on yourself. It felt nice. After getting out of the shower you got dressed into something for going out with Hange this evening. You wore ( outfit of your choice ). It was your favorite thing to wear since you didn't get to wear it as much as always, with wearing your uniform.

You looked in the mirror at your reflection. You couldn't help but hate the way you looked. You sighed to yourself ashamed of how you felt. You weren't always like this.

Walking away from the mirror you heard a knock and opened it to see Hange in their usual yellow flannel and black pants. They smiled up at you.

"You look..nice Y/n." They said.

"Do you really think so?" You asked. You didn't feel pretty so why would they compliment you? How could they possibly think that?

"Yes I do. In fact I take it back. You look beautiful." They then took your hand shutting the door. "Let's go before it gets too late."

Butterflies. This feeling you hadn't felt in so long. You took their hand holding it back with a firm grip as you both walked down the halls.

-

As you walked the stones path in town you both talked a bit as you looked around at the small markets. You couldn't help but stop when you saw a small cute pawn shop.

It had flowers on the outside of it with small steps leading to the door that had different colored glass. "Can we go inside?" You asked, looking over at Hange.

"Of course." They replied walking right by your side. You walked inside as it was filled with different things. From the side of your view you could tell Hange was enjoying herself as she found a bunch of items she liked.

You looked around at everything as nothing seemed to catch your eye. You weren't sure what you would even want in the first place.

"Y/n." You heard Hange and looked back at them. They held out a necklace with a f/c gem. It matched your outfit just perfectly.

"Woah, it's perfect." You replied as you were stunned by its beauty.

"Exactly why I had to show you it! Try it on!" They turned you around gently before you could even reply back. You moved you h/c hair out of the way letting them clasp it together. You felt the brush of their knuckles on the back of your neck as they struggled a bit to get it.

"Turn around." They said, and you did as they said, turning towards them. You met their gaze and their mouth turned into a bright smile.

"I'm buying it for you." They said, immediately taking out their bag.

"What? Hange, no!" You refused to have such a wonderful thing like this.

"Please Y/n. Let me get it for you." They pleaded as their eyes met back up to yours. You didn't say anything and just nodded.

They went to the desk where an old lady stood. She greeted us as we paid. "Come back again sometime!" The sweet lady said waving goodbye.

"We definitely will!" Hange said back.

Walking out you looked down at the necklace. "You really didn't have to Hange. It's too beautiful. Even for me.." You said running it over your fingers to its smooth touch.

Hange had a serious expression as you both walked over to a bench sitting down. "What do you mean by that?" She asked. But you honestly didn't have an answer. You just felt you didn't deserve something like that.

But you immediately felt their hand on yours and it was like they were telling you that you didn't have to say anything. "It's okay. I just wish you could see yourself the way I do. You deserve it."

You could feel your heart racing through your chest. Hange's kindness was really taking over you. Your eyes began to sting as they welled up with tears.

"Hey, hey, don't cry." They said placing their hand across your s/c cheek. Their thumb rubbed the side of it gently. It was soothing and helped you calm down.

"I don't deserve you, and after everything I don't know how to feel." You say honestly.

Hange's face turned sad and you could tell they were hurt. You didn't want them to be hurt. "Y/n, I know I already apologized but I truly am sorry about everything. It bothers me, all the time. I can't help but blame myself for everything you feel. If only I didn't get the wrong idea back then and wasn't so jealous. I would have never hurt you and we would have still been together.." They said and your eyes widened, taking it all in.

"Hange.." You didn't know what to say. You weren't even sure you felt the same way. It was all so confusing.

"We should start heading back now." They said, getting up and you just followed. The rest of the walk was silent as it was just the sound of your footsteps.

"Thank you. For this." You said breaking the silence.

"You're welcome." They replied.