39. Just WHAT in Satan's Ass Was I Thinking?!

A visual representation of you (Uraraka- girl on the right) and me (Midoriya- crying boy) later in the chapter's AN!! 

^^^

Shinra tensei = push

Bansho ten'n = pull

Hope you guys have seen Shrek 2. Remember how Donkey annoys Fiona and Shrek while travelling to the kingdom of Far Far Away?

If you do, then good!

If you don't then.. well you'll soon find out what happens in the movie.

You'll see her more immature self in this chapter which I feel like I haven't showcased enough..

This honestly is one of my favorite chapters. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it!

Enjoy! (But not too much lol)

<3

A HUGE ASS RANT AT THE END!

Please do read it!

Btw.. if there are any typos tell me. I haven't proof read the chapter yet..

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Akina's POV

Pain raised a single eyebrow when I walked into his office hours later.

I cleared my throat.

"I'm here."

"Five hours late."

"I know."

"Aren't you going to say something?"

I tilted my head. "Like wha- oh! Sorry Pain, I kinda got distracted by Kisame fangirling and making a bet with Kakuzu only to lose it badly. Deidara got emotional over Sasori. Then Itachi fainted and Tobi chan helped me carry him into his room. Before that, Hidan had semi kidnapped me and Tobi chan conveniently forgot to tell me about you."

"You couldn't come up with a better excuse?"

"It all happened!"

His voice seemed as dry as the Sahara desert and he spoke. 

"Sure, the S ranked shinobi of the Akatsuki faint and fangirl."

"But it happened!" I protested loudly, my cheeks flushed.

It sounds absolutely ridiculous, but its true god dammit!

He sighed. "Your lie was very well executed. It was very difficult to see through it but I managed."

How did you see through it if its not a lie?! 

You liar Pain!!

My mouth was wide opened as I tried to form words to speak but I could only gasp and point towards the members, hoping he'd understand.

He stood up. "I see that you've bonded enough. Well, lets go train with your rinnegan."

"What? Oh sure."

I missed the small twitch near the corner of his lips.

"Shinra tensei!" Pain let out a chakra wave from his hand and it pushed me away. I went flying to land on the ground.

Wiping the sweat from my face, I stood up and let branches emit from my hands, using a great amount of my chakra.

The main branch split into multiple smaller ones and Pain ended up using his shinra tensei again, only for me to fly away.

I growled. 

He'd told me to not use the rinnegan at all unless I could get a hit on him without using it. He'd defeated me every single time I made an attempt. 

How could I face off against a rinnegan without using one myself? Its not like I'm as strong as Hashirama or Naruto with Sage mode.

"That's it!"

Pain's eyes turned sharp. "No, Akina!"

But it was too late. My rinnegan had already been activated. 

Nagato's eye twitched. 

"Fine, you want to go all out, we'll go all out." He growled.

That's when I knew... 

I fucked up.

The wind blew softly in the forest and I allowed myself to calm down, taking note of the various chakra natures around us, sitting on the trees. 

But why does Pain want me to hide my rinnegan?

He should be using me to the fullest, but he isn't. 

Why?

I ran towards him, knowing well that he'd pummel me to bits but I didn't care at this point.

I was a very careful person by nature, and I always made calculated decisions sometimes going as far to manipulate people slowly.

Er, not manipulate. Rather I should say help.

Why did I change? 

He only had his push and pull available. Within five seconds, I had to punch him. 

His body would be restored later anyways.

"Bansho ten'n!" Pain shouted and raised his hands as I went flying towards him.

I turned my hand into a spear as I sped towards him, meaning to impale him. He stopped releasing chakra from his hand and made me fall on the ground.

"Mokuton bunshin!" I murmured and three of my clones came out, all with rinnegan eyes.

"Shinra tensei!" 

I turned around, back facing him as I did my own version of the shinra tensei.

"Shinra tensei!" 

As soon as Pain's wave of chakra reached my back, I released my own wave in the same direction, propelling me to stay in the same place. 

The clones did the same and I could feel my chakra depleting slowly.

I landed on my feet as the two forces stopped, and the clones ran alongside me, branches coming out of their arms from all directions.

5..

4..

3..

2..

As soon as my branch touched his hand.. he began to float.

1..

A larger wave, much larger than I encountered for was repelled from his hand.

"SHINRA TENSEI!"

My clones disappeared and I quickly held a tree next to me, going inside it to prevent from being blown away.

It all cooled down and Pain landed on the ground, his hair barely ruffled.

"Akina.. You can't defeat me even though I'm alone and even if you are using your rinnegan. You need to train more."

I quickly subdued the anger bubbling in the pit of my stomach.

"Who says it wasn't a trap?" 

Pain's eyes widened at my voice and I slightly smirked, grabbing his ankles.

"Earth Style: Suicidal Beheading!"

I pulled him underneath the ground and came out of my tree.

My clone smiled at me, giving me a thumbs up.

"Nice plan, Akina."

"You're the one who made it all happen." I teased her back.

She blushed. "It was all you."

Was I exchanging compliments with my clone?

Yes. I must be mental.

"Pain shishou.. looks like you lost ne?" I sat down Indian style on the ground, resting my chin on my hands.

He raised an eyebrow. 

"You should've been able to defeat me with rinnegan alone."

"Ahh shishou, why so rude? Just compliment me already."

He gave me a deadpanned stare. "No."

"Tch stingy old man."

"What did you say, brat?"

I chuckled nervously. "Nothing."

Tobi came running. "AKINA CHAN, YOU'RE AMAZING!"

I laughed. "I know Tobi chan."

He paused. "Tobi doesn't like Akina chan calling him Tobi chan."

Oh really Obito?

I smirked. "Sure Tobi chan." 

Pain regarded me coolly. "You're overconfident."

"A fatal mistake. What can I say?" 

I got up and dusted my clothes off waving a hand as I walked back.

"See you shishou."

As I walked back to the base, I saw Itachi leaning against the wall. I stopped and stared at his face in the sunlight. 

"Why are you staring?" He straightened up.

I shrugged. "I don't know. I'm a child right? I can do anything I want."

(A/N: Ooof the shade!)

He pinched the tip of his nose in annoyance.

"Leader sama has given us a mission."

"Oh really?"

He nodded.

"Then how is it that I just pummeled him into the ground a few minutes ago yet he said nothing about a mission to me?"

"Hn. Just follow me."

He threw me my akatsuki cloak and I grabbed it. 

"O-oy Itachi! Where are we going? What's the mission? Did you tell Pain?" 

"If you can shut up, I'll tell you when we reach there."

I'll make your life hell Itachi. You aren't the only stubborn one here.

Intrigued, I began following him inside the forest. 

"Are we going to fight someone?" 

"Hn."

"I'll take that as a no."

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"..."

Silence.

"Are we there yet?"

"You asked me that question a minute ago."

I shrugged. "I want food. Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Can we get food?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"..."

"Are we there yet? I need fooooood." I whined.

Itachi said nothing.

"Are we there yet?" I slightly smirked.

No answer.

"Are we there yet?" 

"...Hn."

"I'll take that as a no."

"Are we there yet?"

His face had a very peaceful expression.

"Are we there yet?"

He twitched after a few more questions.

We reached a stream.

Giggling loudly, I pulled up my pants slightly and jumped into the water. Some of the water landed on his amused face.

With a small, barely audible groan he wiped the water off.

I grinned. "Food?"

"Hn."

"Aw man!"

We continued walking. 

"Are we there yet?"

No answer.

"Are we there yet?"

No reply. But, he was slightly losing it.

A smug feeling came over me. 

If he thinks I'm a child, I'll act like a child.

"Are we there yet?"

"Are we there yet?"

"Are we there yet?"

He turned around to face me, his sharingan whirling to life and a scary expression on his face as he towered over me and took long strides towards me.

I backed up into a tree and he punched the area above my head, just missing my skull barely.

"Does it look like we're here yet?" He growled slowly.

"I don't know. Does it? Remember, I have no idea where I'm going." I gave him a small innocent grin and his eye twitched, knowing I was right.

His face was in close proximity with mine and I slightly gulped when he wouldn't move away.

Back off boi! I need my personal space.

"You. Will. Not. Annoy. Me. Further. Understood?"

"Yes, daddy."

He blinked in surprise and I stared at him confused until my words finally registered in my mind. 

I froze.

Daddy?

DADDY?!!!

WHAT THE ACTUAL- WHAT IN SATAN'S ASS WAS I THINKING?!

I forced a chuckle. "Caught you! It was all erm a p-prank, yes by Kisame and I!"

"Then why does it sound like you have no idea about this prank?" 

I smiled at him, a fake one. "I'm an amazing actress ya know!" 

He slowly backed away and began walking.

"Hn. We'll reach soon enough. Don't annoy me or I'll do something worse."

Sure enough, Itachi was enjoying the silence while I was cringing and internally screaming, occasionally arguing with myself.

WHO TF CALLS A RANDOM GUY DADDY?

You apparently.

BUT WHY??!

Because hormones. Duh.

Why the hell am I arguing with myself?

Don't ask me. I'm you!

I'm literally talking to myself.

Wait.. I sound like Yume.

Dude, she's a part of you. Er, was.

Can we stop?

Why am I asking myself for permission?

"We're going somewhere, you don't want to go." Itachi spoke softly.

I stopped walking. "Okay, Itachi that's a lot of places. Be specific."

"Hn."

My eyes widened in horror. I perfectly understood what he was saying in that stupid Uchihanian language of his and I did not want to go there.

"Nope, nuh huh! I ain't going back there. For Jashin's sake, what are you thinking?!"

"Oh good. You understand me. It took Kisame quite a while to understand me in the beginning. I'm perfectly serious, Akina. Take us there."

"I-I'm not Lord Fourth! I can't just grab a magic kunai or wand for that matter and zippity zappity boop ourselves  there!"

"Use your tree transport."

"How do- Oh yeah, I used it against Kisame. But, I'm not going there. Zilch. Zero chances."

"You'll get food there and I want to show you something as well."

Food... Snap out of it!

"Nope, still not going and you can't force me because you need me." I huffed and crossed my arms.

"Hn."

I took a step backward in horror and anger. "I-Itachi don't you dare-"

"Oh, but I do dare." He reached into his pocket and grabbed out my books a small smile on his face. 

I glared at him. "Fuck you!"

"You're a child."

Did he actually consider... wait a min-

"STOP IT WITH THE DAMNED CHILD COMMENTS! I'M A WOMAN FOR FUCK'S SAKE!"

He had a small smirk as he opened the first page and began reading.

"Chapter one an introduction. Ami was the most innocent girl Raiden had ever set his eyes on. She was a devotee of God, she did her prayers and everything her parents asked her to do. She shied away from boys and fed all the orphans, often meeting them every week. But most importantly- she was pure. 

She had no stains of blood on her, metaphorically of course and there was no hint of lust or even violence for that matter. She wasn't a kunoichi. Of course, that made Raiden want her even more but he wasn't a borderline stalker. 

He first became friends with her, helping her carry bags and becoming friendly with her parents. He pretended to bump into her a couple of times and viola! She noticed him.

Raiden had to play it slow.

But, the darker parts of him wanted to devour her whole. The monster inside him was begging to be released.

(oof kinky //slapped//)

Her innocence was almost begging to be corrupted by someone.

And he'd be the one to do it."

Itachi chuckled lightly. "So these are the types of books you read?" 

My face burned with shame and anger. 

"Continue reading Itachi! I don't care at all!"

"If that's what you want. But this is quite boring, right? Let's just skip a few chapters and get into the real details." He flipped the pages of a book and stopped. 

His smile grew wider.

"Chapter 14: Simon says..."

I choked. 

"You've marked this chapter specifically. I can see that this chapter has been read often. Should I read it?"

I didn't answer.

"I'll take that as a yes."

He was mocking me now. There was a slight glint in his eyes.

I activated my rinnegan and raised my hands. 

"Bansho ten'n!"

"Who are you aiming at? I'm here." Itachi's smug little voice came from behind me and I whirled around.

Every time I used the jutsu, he'd jump away from the line of chakra.

How'd Pain use it so easily against Kakashi??

"Its all about practice, really. You haven't practiced enough with your dojutsu." 

Itachi answered my unspoken question and began reading. 

His voice seemed huskier than before and shivers ran through my body.

Was his voice always so deep and mesmerizing?

"Ami was a flustered mess as Raiden cornered her, his hands on either side of her face. He spoke softly. 'You're annoying me, my love.' Ami had a defiant look on her face.

'Yeah, well I could care less!'

He leaned closer to her, their breaths mingling and Ami's blush only grew stronger. 

'Looks like you need to be pun-"

"STOP ITACHI! I-I give up. I'll take you to Konoha..." I covered my face with my hands.

That was close. If he realized that that the moment we had between us some time ago was a replica of the chapter, what would he think?

He gave me my books back silently, and he gained a stoic look once more.

I grabbed Itachi's cool hand and encased my chakra around us as I prepared myself for the journey via trees to Konoha.

After a few minutes, I staggered out of the tree. Holding onto a tree for support, I fell on my knees trying to lose the feeling of nausea.

I'd used too much of my chakra today and it was only morning.

I gasped taking deep breaths. Itachi knelt next to me and handed me a bottle silently.

I grabbed it from him and chugged the water. 

"I see we're a few miles from Konoha. Let's transform and then walk."

I nodded and turned into an elder version of a gray haired girl with blue eyes.

"There are way too many brown heads!" I complained.

"Our cover is that we are a family." Kakashi said as he held Sakura and Naruto.

"We need color, but not too striking. In that case..."

I turned into a girl with silver hair and turquoise blue eyes.

"You'll stand out." Sasuke said.

"Hm be as that may, many people have grey hair including Kabuto. It'll be fine."

"Fine. Change your outfits as well. Sakura, Naruto and I are a family from a neighboring village. Sasuke and Akina, you both are lovers. Your names will be changed."

He looked at each one of us.

"Naruto, you will be Menma Tanaka. Sakura, Asuna Tanaka and I'll be your father, Akihiko Tanaka."

"Sasuke, you'll be Kaito Nakamura and Akina will be-"

"I'll be Yume!" I blurted out.

"Yume Takahashi. Everyone is fine with it?"

They all nodded and Kakashi gave us a smile.

"Disperse!"

A faint memory came rushing back to me.

The mission to save that Tora spy.

Itachi had barely changed any of his looks. He'd just removed the stress lines and turned his eyes a turquoise blue to match mine. His black hair was still in a pony tail.

"Hn. More the changes you make, more the chakra you need. Konoha shinobi aren't that attentive so it should be fine."

"You already look quite different." I murmured softly, removing my cloak as Itachi did the same. 

Grabbing a storage scroll, I folded the clothes and kept it inside neatly.

"Let's go."

Itachi and I walked through the bustling and busy town of Konoha. The children were running through the bazaar, and parents were shopping. 

The customer trade was going good. 

There were no guards at the gate and I had mentally face palmed at the lax security.

"So what did you want to show me?" I murmured softly. 

"Hn. Just walk around for now. If you see anyone you know, act natural like a tourist. Do you know any sensors?"

I shook my head.

"Then we should be good."

"We aren't here to capture anyone?"

"No." 

The silent for now was left hanging in the heavy atmosphere. I looked at him curiously.

Why Konoha?

A small blur knocked into me and I stumbled back.

"Oh! Sorry stranger but I gotta run!" The small girl ran away with three of her friends chasing her.

"RIKO! COME BACK HERE OR DIE!" A young Konohamaru raced after her with Moegi and Udon, paint on their faces.

I giggled. 

"You know them?"

"Yep."

We kept moving, no questions asked. 

I sniffed, the delicious smell of ramen capturing my nose.

My lips curved into a smile and I followed the fragrance entering Ichiraku's before freezing.

"Oy, Ak-" Itachi held my shoulders. 

"If you were so hungry, you could've told me, Kana. I almost lost you." He held my hand and shot me a smile, covering up my initial shock.

Of course, he'd be here.

Baka baka baka!!

We sat next to each other as Teuchi and Ayame greeted us.

"Oh new customers! Welcome to Ichiraku's Ramen!"

"H-hello."

"Hn."

I elbowed him with a smile.

"Hello." Itachi turned away to hide his wince.

Naruto, Sakura and Sai turned to give us a momentary glance before continuing their talk.

There was a look of relief on Itachi's face and I was sure I had a similar look too.

At least Sasuke wasn't there.

"Oy Teuchi ojisan (uncle)! Another bowl of today's special please!"

"Coming right up, Naruto."

"Hi, what would you like for your order?" Ayame greeted us.

Itachi stayed silent.

"Um two miso pork ramen please with extra pork!" I gave her a small smile and she walked away with a nod.

"Fugaku, have you ever had ramen?" 

He fixed me with a stony glare.

"You used my mother's name so I use your father's!" I slightly hissed.

"No. I always have dango."

I shook my head sadly. "What a pity. Now, can we leave quickly?"

"Don't you want food?"

"We can come back when they're gone."

"No. I wanted to show you this exact scene."

"H-huh?" 

"Here's two miso pork ramen with extra pork!" Teuchi set down our bowls and with an itadakimasu we set in.

"OY SAI LEARN TO READ THE ATMOSPHERE!"

"The atmosphere? Oh, well its currently 26 degree Celsius outside, but I fail to understand how that information is useful."

Sakura giggled and Naruto raised his fist to hit him.

"YOU DICK! SAKURA CHAN WAS GOING TO FEED ME. YOU DON'T INTERFERE IN THAT BUSINESS!"

Sai frowned. "But I thought friends were supposed to help each other. That's why I attempted to feed you."

Naruto wallowed in despair. 

"T-that's why I told you to read the atmosphere. Even after years, you don't understand."

Sai flipped a few pages in his book. 

"What to do when your friend is upset?" He murmured and read a few pages while Naruto was distracted by Sakura feeding him.

I looked to see that Naruto's wrist was broken. 

"Ah. Sorry dickless for the inconvenience I caused you. Ugl- uh I mean Sakura san is your girlfriend right? That's why she's feeding you."

Naruto blushed a bright red and sweated nervously.

Sakura growled and punched the both of them. 

"Shut up.. Look, you've scared the new customers."

Their eyes traveled towards us and I stiffened at being caught.

Naruto frowned. "I haven't seen any of you guys around here, dattebayo."

"We're merchants." Itachi answered softly.

"Well then you should know- I'm gonna be Hokage!"

I gave him a small smile. "Of course you will Naruto."

Everyone froze.

Hey guys!

My chapter has 3.5K words so yayay!

Sooo my update schedule is going to reduce to once a week now because important exams are coming up and I need to study so yeah..

You guys..

I don't deserve y'all. 

You ask why?

See this..

Take deep breaths, blue.

breath in

breath out 

breathe in

breathe out

am i fine?

nope.

lol okay lets start the explosion.

OH MY FUCKING GODS!!!

I AM NOT AN EMOTIONAL PERSON AT ALL

BUT IM CRYING SO BADLY RIGHT NOW!

IM IN TEARS

I NEVER EVER EXPECTED THIS FANFICTION TO REACH SUCH A HIGH RATING

I WROTE THIS BOOK FOR SHITS AND GIGGLES, FOR MYSELF!

I NEVER KNEW IT'D GROW TO BE SO POPULAR OR GET ANY READS AT ALL FOR THAT MATTER!

Guys...

Honestly I thank you.

With your votes and comments which take a second out of your life, you've made me a very very happy person.

Omg my tears aren't stopping..

I want to hug each and every one of you..

like i have never been so happy for the past two years of my life and-

omg...

i instantly called my friends and they said congrats but..

it wasn't me

its YOU who made this happen

its YOU who vote and comment on my chapter everyday

when i come back from school, all i look forward to is to open my wattpad n see my notifs.

words aren't enough to describe how i feel..

I mean.. getting #1 in remotely ANY GENRE is seriously hard! And #1 in FanFiction is pretty hard what with all the amazing fics out there!

Sksksks hope you enjoyed this chappie!

I can die happy now

so.. i mean it wholeheartedly when i say a big ass-

THANK YOU! 💜