40. Seasons Changing

Chapter 40 -  Seasons Changing 

"W-what type of question is that?" He breathed, filled with exasperation and anger.

"A type of question that I want to be answered, Alexander." I said, crossing my arms firmly.

    His straining eyes stared into mine deeply, until his large hands cupped my cheeks, forcing me to look at him.

   "I want you, Laila. I don't want Brenna. She's Jack's girl, not mine. Jasey is a long gone thought, who just so happens to be married too.” He said, “You're my girl, and nothing will change that." He unexpectedly kissed me passionately right afterward. His lips alternated against mine in a slow passion determinedly. His tongue permitted permission in only seconds as everything began to intense.

    My arms wrapped around his neck, and my fingertips lightly brushed against his bed hair. At the point, I was relieved, and what he said, was what I needed to hear this whole time.

Reassurance. 

That's what I needed.

    "I love you, Laila, don't forget that." He mumbled sweetly onto my lips, pressing his forehead against mine.

     We stood there in the kitchen for what seemed like hours, just focusing on each other's faces, and getting lost into the time of day. His cheeks were softly rosy, and his brown eyes were just waking up.  There weren’t any words to summon how much I adored and loved Alex. He made me feel alive and free, and nobody had ever made me feel this way.

  His small smile nearly made me melt in his grasp, and when he kissed my forehead, I felt like I was floating in mid-air. The expression Alex’s face held was easy to read – he felt the same way too. All of this was right. Last night was right. Our relationship was right. Where we were was finally becoming good again.

   As the seconds passed, I noticed the apartment's air was still eerily cold, allowing my hot skin keeping up with a contrast between the two. There weren’t any artificial lights that were cascading over us, but a soft ray of the Sun streamed through the windows heavenly, keeping everything at peace.

    The small stroking of Alex’s hand on my back almost put me to sleep. It was so delicate and tender. It was love. He always had a special touch on me, and every time his fingertips gazed over my skin even the slightest, fire would flicker and it would never faded away no matter how hard I tried to forget about his ways on me (but it’s not like I ever wanted to forget the feeling anyway.)

“How are you feeling?” He asked, referring to last night.

    I shrugged. The tiny pain of durable, and not life threatening. “I'm okay," I answered him truthfully. 

    Feeling comforted, he kissed my nose with care, and nodded his head slightly; a sign that maybe we should move on with our lives, and that we couldn’t stand here forever.

      I made my way to his room, got changed into my fitted jeans from last night, and brushed my teeth with his tooth brush (not really caring at all), along with washing my face. I tried to find any possible cover-ups for the awful hickeys that overspread on my neck, but I was hopeless in this victimizing situation, besides that, Alex insisted to not cover them up, admitting he liked seeing them, and of course, a smirk played off on his face.

        But none the less, I remained in his black shirt, not really ready to surrender the warmth and the sense of relaxation.

    Alex, who had gotten ready, was on the phone, with someone I wished I was aware of. I was in the living room, munching on cereal as he talked through the receiver.

“Eh, does it have to be today?” he whined, trying to delay whatever it may be.

   “No, seriously?” he snorted out of annoyance. “Okay, yeah, whatever,”

   He loudly huffed and slammed his phone shut.

    My eyes were glued to him, patiently waiting for him to say anything from this little feud he just encountered. But all he did was pace in front of me while biting his nails – a nervous habit he’s gained these past months.

   “Jack,” he bluntly said, giving me all what I needed to stop my wonderment.

    Just hearing his name caused guilt to wash over me immensely, and made me want to scream on top of my lungs for hours. It was frustrating for being wrong, but right at the same time. Forgiving Brenna was going to be stupid, but was there any forgiving to do? After all these week, I’m yet to see what was wrong in my behavior of what I did.

   She was flirting with Alex, plain and simple. And having Jack pissed at me was idiotic, if anything, he should be thanking me.

      However, undoubtedly, Jack and Rian hated me, and probably Zack too, even though he’s the quiet one, but quiet ones tend to think the most anyway.

       This whole week at school, seeing Jack in the hallways was nearly as horrifying as watching my first horror film in the first grade. Every time I got the chance to glance at Jack, his lips were always pulled into a straight line, his cheeks hollowed, and his back slouched over – an unnatural look for the once goofy Jack.

Rian, on the other hand, I haven’t seen him at all. I avoided spotting him by going to the library during lunch. Well, I avoided all of them by not going into the cafeteria.

    “I need to go to practice today.” He informed me. There wasn’t an invitation for me, especially from how dreadful he sounded. “We have a gig coming up. And we need it to be a good one. I’m one month behind on rent.”

    My heart dropped like it was falling from a twenty story building, and it was an unpleasant feeling, which caused my breathing to take an erratic halt. It was a harsh remembrance that Alex’s parents had quit paying for his rent, and had the nerve to not give him a notice either, besides their pathetic warning.

   “Oh,” I unevenly sighed.

    “Yeah, I mean, I can ditch it to spend time with you.” He kindly offered, but quickly, I refused.

   “Don’t worry, go ahead.” I pushed a smile.

    I wasn’t going to be one of those girls who restrained their boyfriends from their dreams, or better yet, what they loved to do.

     I watched him slip into his black converse as he sat on the floor. He tied them up, double knotted for both pairs. He fixed his tight fitted jeans while he was at it, and sprayed almost a gallon worth of toxic hairspray into his chestnut hair, which caused me to break out into a short hysterical laughter.

   He grabbed his set of keys on the coffee table, and bit his lip, thinking hard (I could tell.)

   “You know what,” he licked his dry lips, “Come along.”

    “Alex, it’s fine, really.” I automatically reassured him, his mind wasn’t thinking properly. Having me show up to their practice was a recipe for disaster.

    “Listen to me, I want you there.” He insisted more. “Besides, have nothing to do today, so just come along.”

    He was right. I didn’t have anything planned. When do I ever?

   I bit my lip and picked at my nails, and finally decided against my thoughts.     

“Okay, fine.” I gave in, getting up from the couch.

   I slipped onto my shoes and followed him out the door.

     Once we were outside and in his car, it amazed me to see how much snow had melted overnight. March was in three days, and spring was almost around the corner. The seasons were changing and it was about time. I was sick and tired of winter. The cold weather was an annoyance and irascible. Having to tug along a coat or a jacket everyday was such a burden, and now seeing the snow melting and the first signs of spring made my hopes feel more alive.

  “We should go on a date soon,” Alex implied.

   “We’re going to breakfast tomorrow, aren’t we?” I shrugged.

   “Yeah, but that’s Sunday. We always do that.”

    “Technically the concert was a date too.” I reminded him. Yesterday night was still stirring in me, honestly. The vibe was still flowing right through my veins. It was like I was still high from the night and just longed for it more. I was already itching to go to another concert.

   “Maybe what I meant was go to somewhere we can be alone, like when we went to that field that one night.”

    “Yeah, that actually does sound good.” I genuinely spoke, remembering the night underneath the stars, and when he told me about his brother Jonah.

     In fifteen minutes, we pulled up to Jack’s house. My stomach had in uneasy feeling mixing around and my knees were shaky and weak. It took mental power just to get out of the car. This was the worse idea ever. Why did I let Alex take me here?

     This was beyond stupid of me to even think about coming here, let alone, actually go through with it.

   “You’ll be fine,” Alex took my hand into his, just before he knocked on the garage’s door.

  The sound of Rian’s drums took an immediate stop just before the garage door gradually went up. As it rose, the boys came into view. Jack was tuning his guitar, Zack was eating a sandwich, and Rian was sitting at his drum set.

     A painful silence fell on top of us as we walked in. They stared at us as if they were predators and Alex and I were being the hunted. Their eyes on us made me nervously gulp out of being anxious and almost sick to my stomach.

    Jack, who was the first to make any interaction, huffed while rolling his eyes. Alex took notice and sent him a nasty glare. The brown haired boy let go of my hand and grabbed his guitar, swinging it over his shoulder, he gave everyone the same glare as he did to Jack.

    This was the worse idea of mankind. I wanted to abort this whole event and run away to anywhere but here. The boys still hadn’t said a single word yet and it only intensified the concentrated violence that was silence.

    I stood by Alex, keeping my head hanging low, and shyly stared at my shoes. Alex began to strum his guitar, fixating the spell of muteness in the room.

   “Band meeting,” barked Jack.

His booming voice caused me to gasp and take a step back, while everyone gave him their attention. Quickly glancing at Alex, he nodded his head at me.

    They gathered in a circle, and I couldn’t help but think how elementary this was. They were clearly talking about me, so why must they make it disguised that they were?

   Their whisperings were hardly even audible, and by the look of Alex, who had his hands coiled into fist, I automatically knew what they were chatting about.

Insecurity started to drive me insane and overthinking was rattling my brain. All I could do was roll my eyes and feel God awful about myself. My skin didn’t feel normal anymore on me and I started to question every little decision I have ever made.

   They continued and I lost my patience. I had enough of this foolishness, and marched myself back to the car in the cold. 

   I waited in the vehicle, fuming with rage. They had some nerve I swear. I was no longer doubtful of their hatred towards me. It was plain in sight that they really did hate me. Just being in this car was refreshing than being in the garage that was brimming with temperament.

   Shortly, Alex got in the car, who kept his mouth shut as we drove. I was dying to know what they said, and clearly, Alex wasn’t ready to give that up. He had one hand on the steering wheel, and the other prompting his face. He showed no expression; hollowed cheeks, thinned out lips, and tight jaw line.

His eyes never left the sight of the road while the radio was turned off, creating a tiring and thick atmosphere.

 “Just tell me,” I urged.

  “You’re not going to like it.” He shifted in his seat awkwardly.

“Alex,”

  “Fine,” He huffed. “They don’t want you at practices anymore.”

 “And?”

“That’s it.”

   “There’s more than just that.” I said. I could tell by the tone of his voice and how his left eye twitched a little – a feature that I’ve seen too many times to not know that he’s not fully telling the truth. But at this point, I had to let it go. It was useless to be angry at Alex. He wasn’t the one to blame.

     “Can you just take me to my house?” I asked. Knowing the boys didn’t even want me to be at practices anymore made me feel unwanted and felt like I was being kicked to the curb. My whole chest ached in discomfort while I tried to fight back the unneeded tears.

  He curtly nodded his head, and turned the car around towards the right directions. Once he finally pulled up, he stopped the engine, and grabbed my elbow right before I could even open the door.

  “Wait,” He breathed. “I’ll see you tomorrow for Sunday breakfast?”

   “Of course,” I softly smiled.

    He leaned in, placing a small kiss on my lips. I lingered it for longer than what he had expected. The intoxicating kiss helped clear my mind a tad, vanishing what my recent thoughts were.

   Afterwards, I hopped out of the car, and made my way inside into the warmth of my house, and just before closing the door, Alex blew a kiss with his hand lamely, and making me giggle from the sight.

Sometimes she’s so cold, like twenty below. He’d do anything to have that winter season back, keeping it in mind that it was their first, and last winter season together. Leaning now in the breeze, he just wants her back, or better yet, find where ever she may be.

________

A.N

CHAPTER 40 YOU GUYS, HOLY SMOKES HOW DID THIS HAPPEN

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Idk if I will be able to get an update out next week bc I'll be needing to study for all of my tests, and mid term exams, and then the next week is mid terms and idek if I'll be even to write during that week bc I need to study hard as hell

but nonetheless, I'll try to update!!!

-kc Dec. 16, 2014