Chapter 4

I don't get much sleep through the night. Pure anxiety kept me awake so much that I saw every hour on the clock. I don't think my heart rate ever lowered to a resting level. Clearly not everyone shares my dread. The sound of snoring from more than 1 of my new roommates was my white noise for the evening.

I stare at the clock on the wall adjacent. 5AM. 1 hour to go. At least the night was nearly over. Though any relief from this was quickly replaced with anxiety once again as I realised this meant day was about to begin. I had accepted I wasn't going to catch any sleep. I sat up in my bunk and looked around. I couldn't see much but I could make out shadows of my roommates in their beds. I looked at the snoring culprit. Private Jeffries if I was remembering correctly. We had a brief conversation over dinner last night. He was 28 and had 2 young children at home. I can't imagine having to leave them behind. He was physically strong though, and I got the impression probably mentally too.

I stand up from my bunk, feeling the cool concrete tiles beneath my feet. I tiptoed out of the dorm and towards the bathroom.

After exiting the stall, I walked over to the sink. There was one small circular mirror above the sinks. Just big enough to see your face and the top of your neck. It was cracked in the top corner. My mind can't help but wonder about the people who have passed through these dorms before me. Real soldiers. People who chose this life. People who really had what it takes. I take a final glance at myself in the mirror before turning away. The bags under my eyes are not something I care to spend much time looking at.

As I exit the bathroom, I catch sight of a figure in my peripheral. Already in an anxious state, its fair to say, I absolutely shit myself. I let out a gasp, probably loud enough to wake the whole barrack.

"Woah Holton, keep it down, eh? What the fuck are you gasping at anyway? Never seen your C.O before?"

I feel my shoulders start to drop and relax as I realise the dark figure in front of me is not an axe murderer, just Styles – although to be honest that's almost as scary.

"S-sorry sir" I mutter, a little embarrassed now at how loud I was. Officer Styles flicks on a light in the corridor.

"Did I interrupt your midnight stroll? Or are you just that dramatic?" He questions. Just let me go back to bed mate.

"Sorry sir, I was just heading back from the bathroom. I wasn't expecting to see anyone." I admit.

"Your day starts at 6, mine starts at 5." He explains. I look back at him silently. He hasn't asked a question and I don't want to speak out of turn. Also, I have no idea what to say anyway. He makes a face at me.

"You're jumpy and you're out of bed. You're not going to last 5 minutes under my training if you keep on like this. Get to sleep." He grumbles. Not a morning person clearly. Actually, I think he's just not a people person.

"Yes sir" I reply before turning and heading back to the dorm. I creep back over to my bed quietly and look around the room. No-one has stirred. I lay my head on the pillow and rest my eyes. Finally, I begin to drift off to sleep.

________

I feel like I've only just closed my eyes when I'm awoken by a pounding on the dorm door. Officer Styles' voice booms through from the other side.

"It's 5.45. I expect to see you all dressed and ready in 15 minutes. Get up!"

Slowly, I sit up in bed. The sun has begun to rise and there is a sufficient amount of light seeping in through the window to illuminate the room.

"Rise and shine motherfuckers" call a voice from the left-hand side of the room. It belongs to a young-looking boy – can't be any older than 18. He is slim and average height. His enthusiasm is only met with a return of moans and groans.

"Keep your voice down Kelso. It's too early in the morning for your youthful energy" replies Private Jefferies.

The girl Hawkins, from yesterdays show down with Styles, is the first to actually leave her bed. Despite her protests yesterday, she doesn't appear to think twice before whipping off the cream pyjamas we were given and beginning to dress in her camos.

"Jeez Hawkins, you're not shy are ya?" shouts Private Kelso from his bed. He can't hide his immaturity with the grin plastered on his face as he struggles to break eye contact with Hawkins.

"What? It's like Styles said yesterday, we've not got time to be worrying about stuff like this. You lot can piss around trying to get changed under your bed sheets all you like, but I'm not taking another bollocking for not being ready on time." She blurts out as she continues to get dressed. A quiet murmur of approval makes its way round the room.

"I suppose you're right" agrees Kelso. "Better get cracking then eh? Don't want Styles coming in here when I'm half dressed. Might give the boy a semi" Kelso says laughing, as he begins to change into his uniform.

"Are you fucking mad saying shit like that when he's within ear shot! If he heard that, I think might have just killed you there and then. Plus, no disrespect mate, but I don't think you're his type" Jeffries interjects while also beginning to get changed.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kelso quips back, feigning offence. I continue to listen to their interaction as I too begin to get changed into my uniform. I try not to think about the 23 other sets of eyes which could be on me.

"Nothing mate" Jefferies replies. "No, no don't back out now." Kelso eggs him on.

"It's just my younger brother Jack, he was in Styles' year at school. He had a bit of a reputation as a ladies' man. Could get any girl he wanted. And he didn't shy away from it from what I heard. Probably slept with the half the girls in these camps."

Hawkins scoffs from across the room. "He might be an attractive man, but the minute he opens his mouth any attraction I had leaves my body. The guys a dick" she says. I notice her volume is significantly lowered, her voice almost trailing off into a whisper at the end. I've noticed a lot about Hawkins already. She likes to talk a big game, but her actions and body language almost always tell the truth about what she really thinks. Hawkins might like to think she's not intimated by Styles', but the truth is she's petrified just like the rest of us.

The conversation trails off there as everyone continues to get ready. We all do our best to keep our gaze lowered, avoiding any awkward eye contact.

By the time the clock shows 1 minute to 6 we are all dressed, boots laced and standing to attention in front of our bunks. At exactly 6AM, the door bursts open without a knock or bit of warning from Styles. He enters silently, and begins to patrol our line, looking each of us up and down as he does so, checking our uniforms. I don't even notice, but I hold my breath as he arrives at me. Following pattern, he looks me up and down before moving on. Thank fuck.

Once he has reached the end of the line he moves back to the centre of the room, facing us.

"Well done. You managed to successfully get yourselves dressed" he says sarcastically. "Don't get too comfortable. Looking the part doesn't mean shit if you can't back it up. We're heading to the gym, now. Time to see what you're really made of."