Relationships

I never paid much attention to couples before. Not really. They all seemed so... effortless. Like they had this secret manual nobody handed me.

But now?

Now I found myself watching them—friends, strangers, even the quiet couples sitting close in the library—and wondering what the hell I was supposed to do.

Do couples hold hands all the time?Do they talk about everything, or just the easy stuff?What if I say something stupid?What if I mess this up before it even starts?

I caught myself smiling at my phone, rereading Eren’s last message. Nothing fancy—just a “Hey” with a little smiley. But it hit different. Made my chest feel like it was skipping beats.

The thing about being “with someone” wasn’t the big stuff—no grand declarations or fireworks. It was the small, quiet things. Like stealing a glance when you think they’re not looking, or finding excuses to bump into them in the hall.

I ran my fingers over the spot where his hand had brushed mine at breakfast. The electricity was still there. I wanted more moments like that, even if they scared me.

Because this was new territory. A dance with no rules.

But maybe that’s okay. Maybe figuring it out together was what mattered.

I wasn’t sure how to be “us” yet. But I was willing to learn.

I caught myself twisting a loose strand of hair around my finger, then tugging it back behind my ear—only to pull it forward again. Should I wear it up? Or let it fall loose?

For him.

It was silly, really. Like one tiny thing would make a difference. But it felt important, like a secret message I didn’t know how to say out loud.

I glanced at my reflection, barely recognizing the nervous girl staring back. She wasn’t used to this—wondering how she looked for someone else.

Yet, somehow, that made my heart race even more.

I shifted under the covers, the weight of the silence pressing down on me.

Did I even deserve him?

The question echoed in my mind, sharp and relentless.

He was patient, kind in ways I wasn’t used to.

And me? I was tangled up in my own mess—guarded, broken, unsure.

How could someone like Eren want someone like me?

I rolled onto my side, eyes fixed on the ceiling, and couldn’t help but think about Emory.

She had that effortless glow — the kind of smile that made people forget everything else.

Confident, easy, like she belonged everywhere she went.

And me? I was rough edges and bruises, a mess of contradictions no one wanted to untangle.

Emory didn’t need to try; she just was.

I wondered if Eren saw her that way — or if he saw something in me he couldn’t in her.

Because sometimes, I felt invisible next to her, like I was the shadow she left behind.

But maybe, just maybe, I was more than that.

I stared at my phone, the screen glowing bright in the dark room, but my hands trembled uncontrollably.

The messages—his name at the top, unread—felt like a weight crushing my chest.

I didn’t want to face them. Didn’t want to admit how much I was tangled up in all of this.

With a sudden breath, I threw the phone across the room.

It hit the wall with a dull thud and slid to the floor, screen cracking—a broken mirror of everything I was trying to avoid.

Silence settled again, heavier than before.

I stared at my phone, the screen glowing bright in the dark room, but my hands trembled uncontrollably.

The messages—his name at the top, unread—felt like a weight crushing my chest.

I didn’t want to face them. Didn’t want to admit how much I was tangled up in all of this.

With a sudden breath, I threw the phone across the room.

It hit the wall with a dull thud and slid to the floor, screen cracking—a broken mirror of everything I was trying to avoid.

Silence settled again, heavier than before.

I glanced across the room and caught the faint glow of my phone where it had landed. The screen was cracked—splintered right through the middle like a spiderweb.

I sighed, dragging myself off the bed and crossing the room barefoot.

“Great,” I muttered, scooping it up. “Guess I’m buying a new one.”

Before I could crawl back under the covers and wallow in silence, the door swung open with a dramatic creak.

Zack.

He strolled in like he owned the place, hoodie half-zipped and hair a mess. “Yo,” he called, plopping himself down at the foot of my bed without asking. “Now that I know you don’t lock your door, we can totally start having sleepovers again. I miss annoying you in the middle of the night.”

I raised a brow. “We were twelve when that was cute.”

“Still cute.” He gave me a crooked grin, but it faltered as he scanned my face. “Okay, wait… something’s wrong. You’ve got that look.”

I flopped onto the bed beside him, phone in hand, the cracked screen catching the light.

“This look?” I asked. “This is my I-tossed-my-phone-and-now-I’m-broke look.”

Zack didn’t laugh. “Nope. That’s your avoiding-stuff look. What happened?”

I hesitated. The words tasted weird in my mouth, but they were there—quiet and true and already forming.

“I’m dating Eren.”

The reaction was instant. Zack’s eyes widened, his whole body jerking back like I’d told him I was moving to Mars.

“Wait. What?”

I shrugged, trying to play it off. “Yeah.”

“Like… actually dating?” He blinked. “Like officially? Him? You?”

“Uh-huh.”

“You’re dating Eren.”

“Zack.”

“You. And Eren.” He pointed at me, then at an invisible Eren. “Together.”

I couldn’t help the small laugh that slipped out. “Yes, Zack. That’s generally what dating means.”

He blinked again, then dropped back on the bed with a groan. “Oh my God, I go downstairs for five hours and the world flips upside down.”

I leaned my head against the headboard, phone resting on my stomach.

He turned to me, finally serious. “You okay with that? Like… really okay?”

My throat tightened a little. “I think so.”

He stared at me for a second, then reached over and nudged my shoulder with his. “Okay. I’ll save the protective-best-friend speech for another time. But just so you know… if he hurts you, I’m still legally allowed to break his kneecaps.”

I smirked. “Pretty sure that’s illegal.”

“Not if no one finds the evidence.” He grinned, and just like that, the room didn’t feel so heavy anymore.

Even with the cracked phone. Even with the tangled feelings. Even with everything still uncertain.

For now, I had someone to sit beside me in the mess.

And that was enough.

Zack went quiet for a beat. Too quiet. I should’ve known he wasn’t done.

“So…” he started slowly, propping himself up on one elbow and eyeing me like I was a puzzle he hadn’t finished putting together. “Does this mean you’re over Isaac?”

The question hit harder than it should’ve. My fingers tightened around my cracked phone, thumb brushing absentmindedly over the fractured glass.

I didn’t answer right away. I looked at the ceiling. At the wall. Anywhere but him.

A dozen things crowded my throat. We were never a thing. He chose Emory. It doesn’t matter anymore.

But none of them felt like the truth.

Zack must’ve caught the hesitation because he didn’t push. He just watched me for a moment, then—like the best friend he’s always been—he gave me an out.

“Cool,” he said, suddenly chipper, flipping onto his back. “Anyway. So you and Eren are a thing now. Which raises the very important, very necessary question…”

I groaned, already knowing what was coming.

“Are you guys gonna hook up now?”

“Zack.”

“I’m serious!” He sat up, grinning like a menace. “You two have, like, major tension. It’s practically sizzling off you. Like, if this was a movie, I’d have to put popcorn in the microwave every time you made eye contact.”

I grabbed a pillow and chucked it at his head. He caught it with one hand, totally unfazed.

“First of all,” I muttered, burying my face in the remaining pillow, “none of your business. Second, shut up.”

“That’s not a no.”

I didn’t answer.

He gasped dramatically. “Oh my god. It is happening. Isn’t it?”

“Zack.”

“Should I warn the others? Put a sock on the door? Schedule a fire drill?”

“Zack!”

He collapsed back, laughing, arms folded behind his head. “Hey, I’m just happy you’re doing something about it instead of sulking in your guitar corner like a broody indie film protagonist.”

I rolled my eyes, but the laugh escaped before I could stop it. “You’re the worst.”

“Yep.” He gave me a smug little smirk. “But you love me anyway.”

Unfortunately, he wasn’t wrong.

I hugged the pillow tighter to my chest, trying to drown out Zack’s teasing, but the noise in my head was louder than he could ever be.

After a beat, I said it—quietly, honestly, in that soft edge of night where confessions feel safer.

“I don’t know how relationships work.”

Zack blinked at me. His grin faltered just enough to let the surprise peek through.

“I mean it,” I added before he could say anything dumb. “I don’t… know what I’m doing. Like, what if I screw it up? What if Eren expects me to know what comes next, and I don’t?”

He sat up a little straighter, eyebrows lifting. “Wait, you don’t know? You’re literally the one everyone comes to for advice. You’re like the house therapist.”

“Yeah, because giving advice is easy when you’re not the one who has to feel anything,” I muttered, curling my fingers into the blanket. “This is different.”

Zack tilted his head, a slow, knowing smirk spreading across his face. “Oh my god. Are you telling me you’re scared to hook up?”

“I’m not scared—I’m just…” I trailed off, groaning. “I don’t know. Nervous. I’ve never… done it.”

His mouth fell open. “Wait. Wait. Are you telling me you still have your V-card?”

“Zack!”

“I’m just saying!” He held up his hands, grinning like he’d just won the lottery. “That’s huge. You—Miss ‘Dump Him, Queen’—are still in the save zone? This is juicy.”

“I do not go around saying ‘Dump him, queen.’” I shot him a glare, cheeks burning. “And no, I don’t have a V-card. I just—ugh—it wasn’t good, okay? It wasn’t like some magical, perfect thing. It was awkward and fast and honestly kind of gross, and I never even counted it.”

Zack’s expression shifted—teasing dialed down, something softer behind his eyes. “Okay. Real talk, that’s valid.”

I didn’t look at him. “I guess I’m just scared Eren’s gonna expect more than I can give. Or think I’m something I’m not.”

Zack bumped my shoulder with his. “You’re literally the most emotionally constipated person I know, and he still likes you. I think that says a lot.”

I let out a breath, shaky but grateful. “You think so?”

“Yeah,” he said. “And if he’s anything less than gentle with you about it, I’ll personally break his knees.”

I snorted. “Noted.”

He grinned. “But seriously, do me a favor?”

“What?”

“Tell him the truth. Before your brain makes it into a whole soap opera.”

I nodded slowly. “Yeah… okay. I will.”

But part of me still wasn’t sure how.

I cracked a small smile, the weight in my chest lifting just a little. “You know, I always thought you were totally useless.”

Zack’s eyes narrowed, lips twitching in mock offense. “Excuse me? Totally useless?”

I laughed, shaking my head. “Yeah, but maybe… maybe you’re not completely useless.”

That did it. Zack sat up straighter, a fire lighting behind his eyes. “Hey! I’ll have you know, I’m very useful. Just ask anyone.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Anyone?”

He pointed a finger at me. “Starting with me. So don’t be too quick to write me off, or I’ll remind you who bailed you out of your last mess.”

I smirked, feeling that familiar warmth of friendship. “Alright, alright, I get it. You’re marginally helpful.”

Zack grinned, clearly riled up. “Marginally? That’s an insult.”

I shrugged. “You’re lucky you’re cute.”

He tossed a pillow at me, and I dodged it, laughing.

For the first time in a while, the future felt a little less scary.

Zack finally settled back, still grinning like he’d won some invisible battle. “Alright, enough messing around. We should probably head downstairs—Mikasa actually cooked dinner tonight.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Mikasa cooked? That’s… impressive.”

“Yeah, don’t expect it to happen twice this week,” Zack teased. “Come on, before she eats it all herself.”

I grabbed my phone off the bed and slung my hoodie over my shoulders. “Alright, lead the way, Captain Useful.”

He stood up, offering me a mock salute. “Aye aye, Lieutenant.”

Together, we headed for the stairs, the familiar noise of the house feeling a little less heavy

We slipped quietly into the dining hall, only to find the others already gathered around the table. Connie was in the middle of telling some story, animated as always.

“…and so, the pool party at House C is happening tonight! You guys have to come—only place with a pool, so it’s gonna be lit!”

I folded my arms, instantly shaking my head. “No thanks. I’m staying home as usual.”

Jean glanced over, smirking. “Typical.”

Connie nudged Sasha excitedly. “Yeah, she’s always the ‘stay home’ type. Come on, it’s a party!”

Before I could say anything, Eren appeared beside me, his eyes sharp as ever.

“You’re going,” he said quietly but firmly.

I blinked at him. “I’m not.”

He didn’t back down. “Yes, you are.”

My voice dropped to a whisper. “Since when do you get to decide?”

His gaze didn’t waver. “Since now.”

I opened my mouth, but the look in his eyes stopped me.

The room went quiet for a beat, all eyes on us.

Then Connie grinned. “Well, looks like you’ve got a date to the pool party after all.”

I sighed, resigned. “Fine. But only because you’re making me.”

Eren smirked. “That’s the spirit.”