Chapter 11

"Friday the 13th," I whispered, clutching my phone tightly.

I opened my message to P'Off and typed another message.

Actually, never mind.

I did not bother to wait for him to reply and went straight to bed instead.

I tossed and turn, but the image of P'Off and Jane having fun was burned in my mind. I was so deep in thought that I jolted when I heard a knock. My mom opened the door to my room.

"Are you still awake? Off is waiting for you downstairs." She did not bother to wait for my reply. As for me, I almost stumbled as I went to the mirror to fix myself. Then I thought, "Why should I care?" So I slapped myself and went downstairs. The clock displayed 22:13.

"P'Off." He's still wearing his uniform. His focus was on his charging phone. He immediately put it down when he saw me.

"What are you doing here?" I asked. He moved from his seat on our sofa for me to sit beside him.

"You still have something to ask me," he said. I arced my neck upon hearing his words.

"Haven't you read my message yet?" I asked. He glanced and pointed at his phone.

"My battery died. I've just opened it now. Let me check your message," he said and went for his phone. I held his arm to stop him.

"There's no need," I said, a little panicked. He arced his head. Why did I panic?

Why did I stop him from reading my message?

"I actually don't have anything to ask. You should just go home," I continued. He stared at me blankly. Deep inside, I feel a heavyweight of unsaid words. I wanted to tell him the first message I sent earlier. I wanted to ask him for us to go to the office together tomorrow, but I can't push myself to tell it to him.

One picture. That's all it took for me to doubt P'Off's feelings for me. What if he only thinks that he likes me but what he actually felt is the excitement of something new? What if he realizes that he's not really into guys, and I'm just a phase towards his self-discovery? It's as if I went back to square one, when I haven't confessed to him.

"There's obviously something," he replied.

Should I say it?

No, I can't.

"There's really nothing to ask. Go home," I said then stood up.

"Wait," P'Off said, but I did not listen. Instead, I walked straight up the stairs. I heard his footsteps behind me but I did not look back.

"P'Off, just go home," I told him, but his footsteps behind me remains insistent.

P'Off, please don't make me change my mind. I don't want to embarrass myself.

"I'm still talking to you," He grabbed my hand and pulled me to face him. He looked confused and irritated.

"What did I do wrong this time?" P'Off asked, frustration evident in his voice. He held my shoulder tightly so that I can't walk away from him. My heart ached at his words, but I don't want to react to my feelings. Instead, I inhaled deeply and cleared my head.

"You disturbed my sleep," I replied. He looked tired. My insides softened as I stare at him. It's so hard to listen to my mind when my feeling for him overpower my rationality.

"P'Off, you look tired. You should also take a rest," I said. I gently removed his hands from my shoulders and gave him a small smile.

"You really don't have anything to tell me?" He asked, his tone expectant. For a second, my facade faltered. I wanted to ask him about the photo. I wanted to ask him about his feelings for me. I wanted to ask him to just be with me. There's a lot of things I wanted to say, but I pushed them to the bottom of my thoughts.

"None at all," I said. He pursed his lips and nodded. He looked like he wanted to say something, but he remained silent.

"Let me walk you out," I said. He simply nodded. We walked down the stairs.

My clumsiness once again worked against me. I took a misstep on the last step of the stairs. I gripped the railings tightly. I closed my eyes as I brace myself for the incoming pain. Then, I felt P'Off's arms around me.

"Your clumsiness really is something," he said, his arms remained around me. He smelled like sweat with a hint of the baby scent of his.

"Your hair smells good," P'Off said. He burrowed his face on my hair. Suddenly, I felt conscious.

"P'Off, someone might see us!" His arms moved lower to my waist.

"P'Off, that tickles!" I instinctively pushed him away. He looked radiant. He grabbed his stuff and signaled me to come with him. His touch still felt warm but I managed not to stumble as we walk to the gate. I immediately closed the gate when he walked out.

"Good night, P'Off!" I shouted to him and his behind the gate as I watch him walk away.

"Look at your pockets," I was confused at his words at first, but did what he said. I felt a piece of paper. He must've put it in my pocket when he hugged me. I took it and stared at it hard.

After a minute, I immediately opened the gate and ran towards P'Off.

"P'Off!" I called out to him. The paper he put in my pocket was a ticket to the amusement park dated for tomorrow.

He stopped on his tracks and turned towards me. I hugged him when I reached him.

"Let's go to the office together tomorrow," I said. He chuckled and messed my hair.

"You finally said it," he said. I unclasped my arms around him in shyness. Then I slowly looked at him.

"I thought you haven't read my message?" I asked.

"I've just opened it," he said and showed me his phone.

"So... can we..." My bravery just a while ago left my body. Now, I feel shy for running to him and hugging him in the middle of the street.

"I'll pick you up tomorrow. Then, let's go to the amusement park together afterward," he said. I simply nodded at him, a silly smile plastered on my face.