Chapter 41

Recap:

Rin's POV

I looked at the hot springs, where, I, he, we.  I dropped to my knees, no Sesshomaru would never do such a thing.  He would never hurt me, he only loves me, and me alone.  I bring him sanity, as he does me.  I looked back up with tears in my eyes, I can’t shut everyone, and everything out.  I love him too much to risk losing him, after I just got him back.  I really do love him, and he really does love me.  This is where he proved that, how much he loved me.  How much I love him.  I sighed, and breathed in a few deep calming breaths as I felt the weather return to normal.  It was almost dark out now, and I transported back to my home.  Renji and his family were gone, I could sense it.  Sesshomaru, where is he.  Where could he be?  I closed my eyes and focused.  There, I found him.  I ran out of the house, and towards the river.  I reached the river, and I saw him standing under one of the trees I liked to climb in.  He didn’t even turn to see me, but I knew that he knew I was there.  I walked to him, and then came to stand in front of him.  He didn’t look at me, and when I reached out to touch him, he jerked away from me.  My hand froze mid-air, and I didn’t know what to do. 

“Sesshomaru?”  My voice cracked, I was too shocked to have tears at the moment.  “Sesshomaru.”  Now tears slowly came to my eyes, but I refused to let them fall.  He looked down at me, with that cold glare he gave his enemies.  Is that how he saw me know?  Did I really mess up that badly?  I tried again, “Sesshomaru?”, but I got no response just a glare from him.  What do I do now?

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Rin’s POV

“Sesshomaru?”  I reached out to touch him, but he moved away from me. 

“You wish me to be what I am then, that is what you shall receive, my dear mate.”  His tone was of something he only spoke to that of his enemies, I was his mate not his enemy.  Quite frankly I was frightened of him now, although I think I would be able to take him out, maybe, maybe not.  I backed away from him, why is he doing this, I just found out what my brother did, the only family that I have left, or had.  I freaked out, I reacted rashly, and now I am paying the price.  Perhaps keeping so many secrets from him was a bad thing, or maybe it was for the better, because of the situation that we are now in.  Maybe we were never meant to be, maybe this was all a game.  Perhaps if I had taken more responsibility and stayed the way I used to be; not feeling, no care in the world, keeping to myself, staying away from others, and not giving a damn about someone else’s problems, I would be better off, and I wouldn’t be here now.  If I think about it sounds like Sesshomaru, but what I can say, is maybe his way of doing things is better, wiser, I don’t know, but maybe this, what is happening now, is for the best.  For me, for him, for the both of us, for everyone else.

“Fine, whatever I don’t have time for this.  I just discovered that the only family that I had left betrayed me completely, I realize that I cant trust anyone, maybe not even you, perhaps not even myself.  I don’t even know what it is that I am doing anymore.  So if You really are a monster aren’t you?  I mean I give myself to you, and believe you when you tell me that you love me, but that was all some game to you, so that you could get into my pants.  Maybe I was a game to you, was I?  A game to you?  Like every other human on this planet?  Everything we have done, and said was a lie.  I knew from the begging this was most likely a bad idea, but just like every other human, I fell for it.”  I turned away from him, and put the palms of my hands to my head, trying to get a grip of everything that is happening.  First the betrayal of my brother, and now this, the one person that I had trusted the most.  “I am so stupid, why didn’t you just leave me dead so many years ago?  Why couldn’t you have just left me alone, why did I have to find you in the woods, and why is my life so f****d up?”  I spun to face him.  “I wouldn’t expect a demon like you to understand anything.  I mean it would a miracle if you gave a damn about anything.”  I threw my arms in the air, and stared at him.  He was emotionless, and asked only one thing.

“Do you want us to be over?”  There was no emotion, what so ever, there was not a trace of fear, or love, or well, anything in his eyes.  Was he blocking me out right now, or did this hurt him as much as it is hurting me, and he is blocking me out, or letting his demon take over, the demon that cares for nothing but power, and his honor. 

Do I want this to be over, do I want us to be done?  No, I don’t.  I may be angry and upset with him, but when it comes to it, I would never want to leave him, I figured that part out.  I can’t lose him, he is all I have, because I don’t have family, I have a few friends, yes, but they don’t understand me, not like he does.  I looked down at my feet, and I felt tears welling up in my eyes.  A few fell silently down my cheeks and I looked up at him.  Our eyes meeting, and I swear I saw a flash of pain in him, but he pushed it away almost as soon as it had come.  “No, I don’t want us to be over.  I am just, I don’t know.  Confused, angry, upset, betrayed, I have so many emotions and thought flowing through me all at once, and I don’t know what to do.  I am afraid, and most of all I am afraid of losing you.”  My voice cracked at the end, and I searched his eyes for something, anything, but I saw nothing.  I turned around, but was grabbed by my upper arm and was yanked back.  I was slammed into a tree, and now pinned to it.  Sesshomaru had my wrists in his left hand, pinned above my head.  His right was at my cheek.  “Are you frightened of me, Mate?”  My eyes grew wide, what is he doing?

“Sesshomaru, please, what are you doing?”  More tears fell down my face, and he knew that he got his answer.  “This is what you wanted, the demon that you so desperately wanted to come forth, well now he is here.  Do you still wish to stay with me?”

“Yes, I don’t care, you are still Sesshomaru, my Sesshomaru, and I love you, no matter what you act like, no matter what terrible things you may be capable of, I will always love you.”  I couldn’t help the few sobs that slipped in while I spoke, or the more tears that flowed down my cheeks. 

And just like that, he came back.  Emotion flowed through him, and I could feel him, what he felt.  He was hurt, angry, but most of all, he love me.  His eyes were back to the caring demon I knew he could be, no longer a murderess monster, people feared him to be.  He caressed my cheek, and looked into my eyes, as if he were looking into my soul.

“Do you see what I am capable of, I could rip you apart in seconds.”

“I know, but you wouldn’t, you didn’t.”

He leaned his forehead against mine, and took a deep breathe.  “I am sorry, my mate, but I am not sure of what to do any longer.” 

“Stay, stay with me, take me with you I don’t care, just don’t leave me alone.  Please.”  I begged him at the end, I can’t lose him, I refuse to. 

“Rin.”  My name, that is all he can say is my name.  He moved to the nap of my neck, and breathed in my scent.  His hold on my writs slowly eased, and soon he let them go, his hand going to the left side of my face.  My hands went to his shoulders, I wanted to hold him here for as long as possible, because I had no clue as to what was going on within him. 

“Sesshoamru?”

He looked at me, and then kissed me, while his lips were on mine he whispered.  “I love you, and I will never leave you.”  I hugged him, and he held me back.  I didn’t want to let go, I couldn’t even if I wanted to.  I closed my eyes tightly.  “Take me home, I want to go home.”

“Alright.” 

“No I mean, to your place, that is my home.”  I pulled away from him, just enough to look him in the eye. 

“We can leave first thing in the morning.”  That is when I noticed that it had already begun to get dark out.  I sighed, and looked down, then back up at him.  “How about we leave now, and arrive in oh, about a second or two?”  He smirked, he knew what I was talking about, and all he had to do was nod.  We appeared in his room, where he showed me how much he loved me, how much he really loved me for the first time.  The bed was made and everything looked just as it was when I left.  I looked at him, as his hands moved to my waist.  I sighed and closed my eyes, as his forehead was once again touching mine.  My arms wrapped around his neck, and soon he lifted my up by my rear.  I gasped, and was now looking down at him, as he looked at me, the way he did that night.  I smiled, and took his face in my hands, and kissed him with everything that I had. 

That night, he once again, showed me how much he loved me, in the same bed, in different ways, but most of all, he loved me, and that is all that mattered to me, and the fact that I would always have him, no matter what.  I think that perhaps our lives will be good now, but first we have to handle those that are after me. 

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Okay so the goal for the last chapter was to have ten votes, and five comments, which you guys accomplished, so I have updated quickly I think. 

This chapter goal is twelve to fifteen votes, and ten comments.

What do you guys think so far?  Is the story going by too fast, or too slow?  What do you think of the relationship betweeen our lovely couple?  Who is excited to find out more about those after Rin? 

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