White Lies

Stephie

I hate Spencer Reid. I hate that he made me fall for him. I've never felt more alone in my entire life.

"Hotch is sending me to a shrink." Elle throws herself into her chair and I look up, coming out of my own head.

"I thought you got cleared?" I set down my pen and look to her. A few weeks ago Elle shot a serial rapist out of self defense, what she claims is self defense at least, in Ohio. She's been on edge so i'm having a hard time believing that. If I were Hotch, I'd send her to a shrink too.

"Hey, we've got case," JJ walks by and Elle and I stand up to follow her to the briefing room. I notice Spencer almost instantly, wearing glasses.

"He's such a slut," I mumble under my breath and Elle looks at me weird.

"What did you say?" A grin creeps up on her face.

"Huh? Oh, I said that's something." I lie and she looks to where I'm looking.

"Reid's got glasses now..? That is something." As we walk in Elle sits down by Spencer and I sit across from her. I can't even focus on the case, this is what I was afraid of when Spencer and I started to sneak around. It got in the way of the job.

Dear Diary,I miss him so much it hurts. Spencer, with all his weird little stupid quirks that made me fall for him in the first place. The way he would ramble on about the most random facts, his mismatched socks, the way he scrunches his nose when he's deep in thought. I miss all of it.

It's so frustrating to love someone this much. To love him so much I hate him for it. For making me feel things I never wanted to feel. For breaking through my defenses with his awkward charm and brilliant mind. For being the one person who could see through my lies, the one person I couldn't fool.

Every day without him feels like a piece of me is missing. I hate that he's the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing on my mind when I go to sleep. I hate that I still look for him in the bullpen when I walk into work, I hate that I can't let him go, even when it's my fault he's gone. But most of all, I hate that I still love him. More than anything.XOXO, Stephie

"Foster," Hotch's voice chimes in behind me and poke my head up from the case file, I'm trying to catch up before we get on the jet today.

"Have you seen Elle? Heard from her maybe?" I shake my head,

"She hasn't come into work yet?" I ask and Hotch shakes his head no, where is Elle?

"Get on the jet with the rest of the team, I've got to find Elle." Hotch sighs and he seems panicked. I don't think Elle is telling the truth, I don't think that man, despite his evilness, had a weapon on him. I think Elle shot him.

Now I'm stuck on a plane with only JJ, Morgan, and the person I despise the most. I think what hurts is that Spencer acts like  we had nothing, he seems so normal. Well, as normal as normal gets for Spencer Reid.

"You guys hear Elle was cleared?" Spencer says sitting down next to Derek.

I look to him and then at Derek who sighs and looks at the papers in his hands. "Self defense."

"So it was a good shoot," Spencer adds and I shake my head.

"She hit what she was aiming for," JJ doesn't look up when she talks.

"That's not what I meant." Spencer's so awkward, I really forgot how strange he was.

"I know." JJ puts down the papers and looks at Spencer.

"So if she got clear, why isn't she here with us? Or Hotch?" Derek says and Spencer furrows his brows, I look at them both and keep my mouth glued shut.

"Focus on the case." Gideon raises his voice from the chair behind us.

"Right, so if it's not sexual, what's the significance of targeting young males?" Derek comes back to the conversation we were having before Spencer sat down.

"Most serial killers prey of specific types to carry out their fantasies of revenge, Bundy killed women that looked like his ex girlfriend," Spencer looks at me when he says ex girlfriend. Is he trying to say he's gonna kill me?

I flash him a smirk and shake my head, Derek catches on and rolls his eyes, he's the only who knew.

"Uh, Dahmer claimed that school yard harassment fed into his fury." Spencer finishes and Derek nods his head.

"So maybe these victims represent someone who victimized the offender?"

"Like a young male from his past, maybe a bully, older brother, someone who abused him?" Spencer adds as JJ looks at her phone, I lean over her shoulder and shake my head.

"Unlikely," I look to Spencer and Derek,

JJ looks at Gideon. "Just found another body, eleven year old girl."

"Why would the victimology just change?" Why is his voice so whiney, I don't remember that. I run my temple, zoning out. I swear it was only for a moment but when I come back we're discussing childhood fears.

JJ says something about the woods and Derek chuckles. "I was scared of the dark,"

"Some of us still are," Spencer says and I raise my eyebrow, so does JJ.

"What about you? What was the brave Stephie Foster scared of as a kid?" Derek teases and I force a smile.

My dad.

"Gosh, I can't remember. I think a big thing was storms." I'm not lying, i was scared of storms, still am.

Spencer can tell i'm hiding something though. His expression softens after he stares at me for a moment too long.

"When he land Morgan, Reid and Foster, go to the crime scene of the little girl."

Great. Thanks Gideon.

"Whoever killed these children is very familiar with this area. In my opinion, he probably lived in Ozona his whole life." Derek shakes his head looking around the scene in the middle of the woods.

"Feels like there's more to it.." I trail off looking around the area.

My phones buzzes and I look down."Gideon wants us to head back, he's got a good profile and wants to see what he have so we can deliver it." I shift myself away from Spencer, he rolls his eyes.

While giving the profile the towns local guidance counselor, yes that right, I didn't even know those existed, introduced Gideon to explain more about how we're going to find the man responsible for this.

"I need you and Reid to go over to the school and give this profile to the kids, explain it throughly Foster. Don't let Reid talk too much." I chuckle and his last statement but that doesn't change the fact I'm angry at him for making me be with Spencer. It's almost like he knows. Somethings going on. I look and Spencer who picks up his bag and we walk out of the building.

"We have a number of precautions that you'll need to take," Gideon voices trails off as we walk to the car.

"Storms, huh?" Spencer says climbing into the passenger seat. I snap my head around to him and make a face.

"Yeah, well you're still afraid of the dark." I chuckle and start the car, fastening my seatbelt afterwards.

"Am I? I thought you were the one who kept the nightlight in your bedroom?" Okay, that's caught me off guard. My whole body tenses up, he was talking about me on the jet, not himself. 

"Let me make this clear to you Reid, we are not friends." I turn to face him and keep my hands on the wheel. "We will never be friends. So don't talk to me like we're friends. Yeah, I can admit we had something. But let's be honest it wasn't ever really that serious, was it? It's not like slept together, we kissed, that's it we kissed a lot." I shrug and pull out of the parking lot. Spencer doesn't utter another word. Maybe I was too harsh? No, he needed to hear that.

"I'm sure most of you are familiar with the buddy system if not, that means you always go everywhere with a friend, because bad men and women are more likely to talk to us only when we're by ourselves." I explain standingin front of a room full of children.

"We uh, we don't know what these guys look like yet. It might be someone you know." I toldSpencer to watch his mouth talking in front of these kids, nothing that will scare them shitless, no scary statistics. A little girl raises her hand and I point to her asking if she has a question.

"There was this little girl once on the news, who just for grabbed right in front of her house. Could that happen to us?" I look at Spencer, he's looking at me. Think.

"Nothings gonna happen to any of you, as long as you remember the buddy system, okay?" I flash her a soft smile and then look to Spencer, parents start to walk in to collect their children and pick my bag up.

"We should head back," I say and he nods, grabbing his belongings too.

Back at the station everything is what you'd expect it to be, pure chaos.

"Can I have your attention please?" Gideon turns around and looks at the busy station.

"Good afternoon, I want to make something clear. Due to the velocity of change, we predict this offender could try to strike again at anytime his confidence builds with every attack." Gideon explains and the Derek steps up.

"Look for someone physically fit, sh, kind disposition. Someone you may trust your own child with." A pregnant woman and her son walk into the station as Derek speaks.

"Although we keep referring to this unsub as a he, do not rule out a woman." I add, patting Derek's shoulder since he forgot to add that part in, I'll never let him live it down either.

"You gonna wanna hear this," An officer says being the woman over to us and the other officers.

"My son Matthew never came home today," She says in distress. I look at Derek who sighs. Bingo. Like we just said.

"When was he last seen?" Gideon asks and the woman explains his teacher saw him on the parking lot after school. Spencer and I both turn around and look at the map.

"Schools on willow road," I follow the road with my fingertip.

"I'd the boy was abducted, then this area would be the most secluded nearby." Spencer says and Morgan comes up behind us.

"So, Jones can put his guys at the gas station, we can move in here." He points to the map. I step back to get a good look at it. I notice JJ and Gideon talking to the woman and her son behind us. Gideon stands up and taps my shoulder to switch places with him.

"What are you thinking about over here?" I bend down to his level and smile at the young boy.

"Nothing," He doesn't look at me at all, his eyes stay to the ground. Secrets.

"Well, you look pretty sad to be thinking about nothing," The boy takes a deep breath. "You look like you have a secret." I wait for him to give it away.

He messes with the pocket on his jeans. "The secrets important, huh?" He finally makes eye contact and slowly nods his head. "Is it about your brother?" I add and he nods his head sighrlt, his mother is quick to ask him what the secret is.

"I know you're suppose to keep your brother's secrets, but it's really important that you tell this secret, I promise you buddy, he'll never even know you told." I smile at the boy and he nods his head.

"Matty said he was just going to bring the doorbell, at the haunted house on the hill." I look to Spencer and Derek who are staring at me.

"Finnegans place," the towns guidance counselor says out loud behind JJ.

I stand up and look to him. "Who's Finnegan?"

"This old guy who lives in that house." The little boy says but I still look to the counselorfor guidance, that's what he's for after all.

"Kind of a local legend, ghost story if you will." The sheriff answers before the counselor can.

"About?" Spencer asks after shooting me a strange look. A look I wish I didn't know.

"Supposedly he watches the kids from his window," The sheriff pauses. "Hunts em, skins em, eats em, standard." His texas accent explains it all to us.

"Kids have been telling that story since I was a kid," The counselor adds.

"Okay, and why haven't we heard about this?" I put my hand on my chest and stare at the two men.

"Why does it matter?" The sheriff asks and I scoff.

"Fables are often sparked by an ounce of truth. We should exhaust every possibility, you should've told us this sheriff." I turn away and  look at Hideon.

"Get in the car." He sighs, clearly just as aggravated as I am.

The sun is starting to set and it's dark by the time we reach the Finnegan house. It does look pretty creepy.

"Sure looks like a haunted house," Spencer says getting out of the car, I roll my eyes at him and he shrugs his shoulders.

"Morgan, you and Jones take the front. Reid. Foster and I will cover the out buildings." Gideon declares and I pull my gun out. Spencer and I follow Gideon around the exterior of the house.

We approach an old building and I grab the door handle, waiting for Gideon's say.

"Go," he whispers and I fling the door open, he walks inside ready for anything but it's clear. We continue to walk around. somehow, I ended up behind Spencer and as we're walking around, he seems very jittery.

"I thought I was the one afraid of the dark, Reid." I tease and he rolls his eyes as I turn around there's a deer head right in front of my face.

"Holy shit!" I whisper and jump in my own skin. Spencer laughs at me quietly.

"Shut up," I push him and we continue to move, meeting back up with Gideon.

"Look did you see that," I whisper and point in front of us. "Stairwell, go."

"FBI, don't move." Gideon calls out and a small voice responds.

"Is that a kid?" I look to Spencer and then to Gideon.

Gideon walks closer and I can't really hear what he's saying, it's muffled, but when he comes out, there's a little boy with him. Gideon informs us that it's Matthew and we walk back to the car.

"Reid, get Garcia on the phone. Find out everything you can about Finnegan." Gideon says and Spencer nods and we head back inside the house. I meet up with Derek and help him look around while Spencer calls Garcia.

"Look how scared he looks," Derek whispers, pointing to Spencer who's looking around after closing his cellphone.

"Watch this," He says and steps closer to Spencer. I watch as Spencer stands up and run right into Derek, who standing directly in front of him

"Aah!" Spencer makes a werid muffled screaming noise.

"You really are afraid of the dark," Derek chuckles and I so do from a few feet away.

"I'm working on that," Spencer pushes past him and then glares at me when he walks by.

"You should work a little harder." Derek says following behind him. I then follow behind Derek and we meet Gideon in the other room with sheriff Jones.

"Looks like Finnegan is our guy," I say when Gideon holds up a bag labeled with the name, Robbie Davis, a.k.a. our first victim. Then a bookbag labeled with the name Sarah P. as in Sarah Peterson, another victim.

"Why keep the evidence?" Derek asks and i turn around

"He considers them trophies.." Spencer looks around the room.

"When this is all said and done, I want to hang his head on my wall." Derek walks out of the room. And me too, not walking out of the room, but hanging Finnegan's head on my wall, this is disgusting, they're innocent children.

We head back to the police station only five minutes before we go to walk into the station Sheriff Jones gets a call, Finnegan's dead. We're right back at square one.

"It looks like joseph Finnegan died of natural causes," Jones is standing off the side.

"His heart probably gave out while setting this.."Spencer is holding an unset bear trapwith a glove.

"Yeah, karma is a bitch. Those coyotes were gnawing on him for a week." Jones adds and Derek shakes his head, so do I.

"Before the second and third murders ever happened, Gideon, Finnegan wasn't ever our guy." I shake my head.

"Well, those leaves didn't cover his body up themselves. Somebody hid his body." Gideon looks down at the ground.

"Square one?" Derek looks to Gideon, yep. I'll answer that for you Derek.

"Nope, Finnegan's been dead this whole time, who's living in his house?" Gideon asks and then walks away. I can't ever bet against this guy.

"Here's a question. If a tree falls in the forest does it make a sound if there's nobody there to hear it?" Spencer is sitting on the counter, a book in his lap.

"What the hell are you reading over there?" Derek looks to Spencer.

"I'm just thinking," Spencer looks back down and Derek sits on the ottoman of Finnegan's home. I've been standing, investigating the same bookshelf for an hour.

I see Gideon in the other room and sick of hearing Spencer's tone I go to see if he's made any discoveries.

"Food containers?" I ask and Gideon looks at me.

"Spinach in the trash, everything else eaten. Delivered by the church, dated after Finnegan died." Gideon points to one container.

"So, our unsub ate the food?" I fold my arms close together.

Spencer and Derek walk in moments later. Gideon phone rings.

"Hotch," He steps out of the kitchen and Spencer crosses his arms, I uncross mine.

"It's about Elle, isn't it?" He looks at Derek.

"I don't know." He leans against the sink, I still stay by the counter island covered in food tins.

"You know, I talked to her in Ohio." Spencer stutters a little bit at the start of his sentence. I furrow my brows at his words and Derek sighs.

"Reid, we all talked to her." He looks around Spencer and at me briefly, almost like he's looking for answers, I shrug.

"No, I-I talked to her before. I went to her room one night and she was drinking." Spencer admits and I feel myself get tense.

He went to her room when we were in Ohio two weeks ago?

"She almost died, I'd be drinking too." Derek shrugs and then walks out of the room, Spencer follows him with his eyes and then when Derek is gone, they land on me.

His eyes are filled with remorse, almost like he's guilty of something. We've been separated for a month. It's only been one month, it was only two weeks when we were in Ohio.

"Two weeks?" I push back tears, I'll be damned if he gets to see me cry. Spencer tilts his head to the side and looks confused.

"No," He widens his eyes. "It wasn't like that Steph,"

Frozen.

"I just- I was worried about her, I didn't do anything..." He stops talking, slowly realizing he shouldn't be explaining himself.

"Don't call me that, Reid."  I take a deep breath and walk out of the kitchen, leaving him in there alone. I need air. Fresh air.

I walk out of the house and sit down on the porch steps.

"You alright, Foster?" Gideon comes up behind me and sits down besides me. I nod my head.

"Just thinking about the case, you know how it is." He nods in agreement, patting my shoulder.

"The hardest choices lead to the most profound growth." He stands back up and I stare at him, what does that even mean?

I'm sitting next to Derek, across from JJ and Spencer at the motel, we're all eating breakfast, drinking coffee. I wish I could avoid Spencer, but you can't really avoid someone that you have to work with.

"Why the woods JJ?" Derek asks taking a bite of his sandwich.

"Hmm?" JJ questions sipping on her coffee.

"Your fear, you said it was of the woods." Derek jogs her memory from the jet the other day. Spencer won't look at me, I know because i've been looking at him this whole time and he has yet to look at me.

"Uh, I used to be a camp counselor as a teenager, in the woods up in Vermont, the night shift. Tuck the girls in, turn off the lights. You know the drill. Everything was fine, all the kids were asleep. You know nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Until I  noticed there was some blood on the floor, the blood lead out to the camp directors cabin. I  walked up to his bed. He was just lying there under the covers, I ran out the door, down the hall, I remeber it being really dark. Once I got to the door of my cabin there was another counselor out there, I guess she heard me scream. The caretaker was caught going into town. I guess he stole the knife on him. That's when I decided I didn't like the woods I suppose." JJ sips her coffee after telling her story and we all stare at her in silence. She doesn't break eye contact with Derek once, she's lying. I chuckle to myself.

"You're serious?" He asks and that's when I really start laughing, so does JJ.

"No, I...you fell for that?" She laughs harder and Derek shakes his head, laughing with us.

"Come on, I don't know why I'm afraid of the woods, I just am." JJ turns the attention onto Spencer, "Why is he still afraid of the dark?"

"Yeah Reid, why are you still afraid of the dark?" Derek grins at him and I sip on my coffee.

"Because of the inherent absence of light," He looks so cute, how dare he wear those slutty glasses. I hate him.

"Oh," JJ hits Spencer's leg lightly.

"JJ, that was pretty good just remember paybacks are a bitch."  Derek points at her as his phone starts to ring, he picks it up.

"I'm shakin," She looks at her and holds out her very still hand, I chuckle.

Based off of his word choices it's Penelope.

"Call Gideon we just found our own sub. It's the guidance counselor." Derek shuts the phone and we all stand up. I knew something was up with that guy.

After a quick stop to Mr. Charles's residence, he ran from us. Derek ended up tackling him. We found one of the victims hats in a bag he was carrying, so we brought him back to the station. He hasn't admitted anything yet, and I doubt he will. Spencer's been giving me dirty looks all day long, it's driving me insane.

"Do you have something you want to say to me, Reid?" I finally snap as we stand around the station, Derek is interrogating the guidance counselor, James Charles, right now.

Spencer shakes his head. "You're scared of storms." He says it like I don't know that.

"And?" I cross my arms, and Spencer stares at me.

"It wasn't the storms you were scared of, it was the thunder, the loud noise." I feel my heart racing. I guess he's right, it was never the storm itself that scared me, I was always fine until the thunder cracked.

"Don't profile me." I spit at him and he nods slowly.

I hate him. I really do.

"Charles' son is missing," JJ walks into the room and Gideon whips his head to us.

"Head up to the house, take some officers with you."

"Is that an epipen?" I look to Spencer who just picked it up off the table, he nods.

"Werid." He sets it back down and walks to the fridge.

"I think I just found something," He says and JJ emerges from the other room, I move closer behind Spencer, trying to see what he does.

Spencer pulls out his phone and calls Gideon, "An EpiPen and a refrigerator filled with diary products that have been sealed with duct tape."

Just like the spinach. The call ends and Spencer looks at me.

"It's the son, it's Jeffery." My eyes widen as he speaks, so does JJ's.

"The kid?" She takes a deep breath.

"We gotta go, he has a new victim." JJ puts her phone back in her pocket and next thing I know we're racing to a play ground.

" how did he get her without anybody seeing?" JJ asks and Derek shakes his head.

"We educated a killer, the buddy system. He was able to take her because nobody would think anything of two kids walking home together." I sigh and look at Spencer.

We rush through the park and find a baseball glove and a book bag belonging to Tracy Belle, the missing girl.

"Jeffery's got her, there're on these woods. Split up." Gideon orders and we all go separate ways, we'll mostly split up. Somehow Spencer and I find each other in the woods. But we don't have time to bicker right now.

There's a loud scream and Spencer and I look at each other. "Did you hear that?"

Spencer shakes his head yes. "Yeah, I heard that, this way." We take off in ten direction of the screaming.

Gideon has a hold only Jeffery and I grab Tracy.

"Are you okay?" I look at her and she nods her head, wrapping herself in my arms, Spencer stands behind me. We all look at each other in disbelief, a child killing other kids. I comfort Tracy in anyway that I can. This is unbelievable.

Back on the jet JJ is asleep, I have my eyes closed but I'm not asleep.

"I should have said something," Spencer says, for a moment I think he's talking to me, but then Derek respond, so I keep my eyes closed.

"To Gideon to Hotch or any of you guys. I talked to Elle that night and I knew she wasn't right, but I should have told someone." There's shuffling and then I hear Derek's voice.

"Reid, listen to me. Do not do that to yourself, you were just trying to help a friend. You hear me? Don't go there kid. Elle made her own choice, that's on her." The air falls silent again.

Elle quit her job. She's gone.

That's the news I was woken up too back in Virginia.

—————————————AN: tbh i got nothing to say