18. I Love

I woke up with a banging headache and a faint memory of the night before.

I was in Brenda's bed. When I showed up at her room last night bawling and trying to explain what happened, she let me stay.

I sat up and instantly got dizzy.

"Ugh," I said and rubbed my temples.

Brenda walked in with a cup and handed it to me.

I sipped the black coffee and grimaced.

"What are you going to do?" She asked.

I shook my head. I had no idea what I was going to do. I messed up. I messed up bad.

I was hoping he would be more understanding once I told him the whole story, but I doubted he would forgive me just yet.

I stood up and started to walk out of the room.

"Good luck," Brenda said.

I couldn't tell if she was being serious or not so I just kept walking.

When I got to his room, the door was locked.

I knocked gently and to my surprise it opened.

Newt scowled at me but stepped aside to let me in.

"Look," I said trying to figure out how I was going to explain. "I was really drunk and I wasn't thinking."

"Obviously," he snapped. "Are you ever thinking?"

I ignored his comment and continued. "He kissed me and I dont know why, but I just thought of you and kissed him back."

"So that is supposed to make it better then?" He yelled. "You were thinking of me while you had your tongue in some other guys mouth."

"No," I shrunk away from his loud voice.

"You know what," he said more calmly. "I trusted you. I trusted that you felt about me the way I had felt about you."

"Had?" I asked. Tears were forming in my eyes.

"I can't have feelings for you," he calmly said. "You are a selfish girl that only does what she wants without the consideration other people."

His words struck me and pain formed in my chest, but it was soon replaced with anger, "That was harsh Newt."

"No kissing some other guy when I though we had something was harsh," he scoffed.

"But I guess we never really had anything," he said.

I looked to him my heart was breaking. I knew this was going to go bad, but I hoped better than this.

"I'm glad I only knew you for a couple weeks," he turned his back toward me. "Means I didn't have to deal with you for that long."

He paused for a moment before he spoke again, "Is Brenda single? She seems more level headed."

His words finally did it. I was willing to take his other harsh words, but he went to far. He knew that I resented Brenda because she was always telling me what to do. He was using that against me.

"I hate you," I yelled and ran out of the room.

Tears streamed down my cheeks as I ran.

I didn't stop until I was out of the Right Arm territory. I ran until I had no idea where I was.

The city around me was all unfamiliar and didn't have the same buzz of life that the ones we were living in.

I dropped down to the ground and continued crying until I was gasping for breath. My lung wasn't doing its job.

I didn't hate Newt. I loved him with every part of my body and soul.

•••●●•••

Oooooh drama, drama, drama.

Gotta love it. Why do you think she lied to Newt?

Action is coming up in the next chapter:)