Chapter 8

SAGE WALTMORE

HIS TOUCH. THE concupiscence. concupiscence? No I don't- I don't have a lustful desire that includes having sex with him. It keeps replaying and replaying. Draco is my friend. He shouldn't have done that.

If I regret it so much I should have- I would have stopped. I fiddled with the annoying school skirt I wore, just this one particular skirt I hated. What is this? Why are they teaching me the history of magic? I would have been better off without this...it's not like learning the history of magic is a necessity. I bit the tip of my tongue in annoyance.

January 12, 1999Sage Waltmore

Newt Scamander, Born February 24, 1897-

I ripped out the parchment paper and tossed onto the paper pile. I slid the hair tie off of my wrist struggling to put my hair into a ponytail. I looked around the library resting my hands onto the table. I looked at the table in front of me and saw him. Draco. Staring at me. As I caught his eye his grew wider as if I weren't supposed to see him.

He sat at the table in front of me. How is he always here? Near me? Whether it's in the hallway, if I'm watching the quidditch pitch get rebuilt, talking to Headmaster McGonagall, friends or if I happen to be in the library.

I'm overthinking this he always happens to be there. He's my friend.

He sent me a small smile and I sent one back. He brushed away his robe as he stood up carrying his book bag. Is he walking over to me? Why is he walking over to me? I slid my hand down my thigh. "Are you having trouble?" He asked. He pulled the chair out, dropping his bag on the table.

"No-no I actually-" I was cut off. "-It isn't nice to lie." I looked up at him, he gave me a blank expression.

I let out a nervous chuckle. "What?" I asked."You're lying. The eight crumbled pieces of parchment..." he said slowly. I dug my nails into my knee. "It actually isn't important, I don't think it would affect my grade." I jumped a little as he hardly pressed his hand on mine. My fingers flattening out onto my knee. I hissed in pain because of the pressure he put onto my hand. "Are you lying again?" He asked sternly. I furrowed my eyebrows. "No. I'm sure of it, I just- I just like to um..." I began to feel nervous. "Stop digging your nails into your skin." He said.

How long has he been watching me here? "What?" I asked. "Don't dig your nails into your skin." He said sternly. Then he released his hand and I felt the pressure starting to lift. I pursed my lips embarrassed that he saw. It wasn't any of his business either of what I do with my body.

"How long- how do you know what I do and why do you care?" I asked curiously. His breath hitched. I furrowed my eyebrows at him and his eyes grew wide. He opened his mouth to say something but nothing seemed to be coming out. "Just stop doing it. I'm gonna go see you later" He said looking at a few shelves. That was questionable.

He quickly stood up and grabbed his book bag. "Wait!" I called out. "You don't have to answer if you don't want to. I just thought it was odd. Good to know someone cares about me I guess"

He sent me a small smile and walked away without pushing the chair in. He can be odd sometimes...very. A few first years walked in with Ronald Weasley and he sent them to sit somewhere. I huffed in frustration. I don't want to be here and I have nothing to do. This is shit.

Fine. Then I won't. I won't try and please my teachers with extra work so they can automatically give me a decent grade.

I stood up and closed my notebook and textbook. I pushed them both inside my book bag angrily. Fed up with trying to please everyone. I need to please myself. Someone should please me.

I closed the ink bottle and left the quill and in on the table. I always leave them I meant that's what they're meant for, to be left alone.

I quickly grabbed me bag and walked out of the library.

Theo is there. Near the wall over there. I walked towards Theo. He seemed to be pacing back and forth. Can everyone just be normal for once please? "Theo..." I said. He jumped in fear. What the fuck? "Are you okay?" I asked. He seemed to be in distress. "S-stay away from me!" He shouted. What did I do? He took a quick glance at the corner I once turned to get here. Why is he so afraid of me?

"I'm not gonna hurt you Theo I just wanted to-" he took another quick glance at the corner. "Stay away!" He shouted again before hurrying away. I watched with a shocked expression as he walked away. I turned around to look at the corner. Nothing was there.

It's fine I don't- I don't need Theo anyway. I don't need any of him.

~

"And he just stood there. Pacing back and forth like some maniac!" I screamed. I looked back at Draco who was silently laughing.

Seeing him laugh made me happy, but I'm still very frustrated. "It's not funny," I said. "Not at all who's to say I didn't still want to be his friend"

"So you could ride his dick? I think not" Draco said. I rolled my eyes and looked at the other beds. "Draco how come no one sleeps in here with you?" I asked. He slowly sat up slipping off his robe.

"Most likely sleeping somewhere else. If you know what I mean..." I playfully scowled at him in disgust. "I fucking hate you" I said giggiling shortly after. "I love you too," he said back. I giggled more. He'd admire me from afar as I continued to giggle. Compose yourself I am reminded. Wait- I said I wouldn't try and please anyone. The giggles soon came to an end when I realized he stared at me. Eying my skirt and looking back to my lips.

No, I am not going to kiss him. Or let him please me in any sexual manner. You said you wouldn't try and please anyone I remind myself.

I walk over to his bed leaning on one of the pillars. "You wanna take it off?" I asked. "What?" He asked shockingly. "My skirt...you seem to be interested in it. Do you want to take it off?" I repeated. He looked down at his bed smirking. "As much as I would love to take it off. I actually have something to do." He replied. "Like what?" I questioned. "Like this..." I watched as he reached for his belt slowly. Still not getting the memo.

"You wanna watch me wank off don't you?" He asked. Gosh no. "Ew- masturbating is normal but- you know what never mind." I said. I opened the door without giving him a chance to say anything else.

I looked at the spiral stairs.

Maybe I'm not alone. I don't think I ever was. I always feel watched.

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