CHEERFUL

One Month LaterJuly 27th; 2024Taylor Swift's Point of ViewUgh, okay, so much for the whole "crush-on-Travis-was-a-fluke" thing. Here I am, a gaping hole where my heart used to be, still aching for that spark whenever I think about him. I've thrown everything I can at these feelings: radio silence with Travis, a deep dive into Joy's already impressive collection of hobbies (who knew rock collecting could be so calming?), even a newfound scrapbooking obsession. Nothing seems to work.

But hey, today is not the day for Travis woes. Today is Joy's fifth birthday! She's practically vibrating with excitement, convinced that turning five officially makes her a grown-up. The whole gang is coming over – friends, family, the whole shebang. Joy's been counting down the days like a maniac, and there's no way I'm letting a rogue crush dim her sunshine.

The sizzle of bacon mingles with the sweet scent of chocolate as I maneuver a pancake dotted with rainbow sprinkles. I decided to make her favorite pancakes for her birthday. Flipping the pancake with a practiced flick of my wrist, I toss some bacon onto the sizzling expanse of a nearby pan.

"Can I open my gifts?!" Joy practically vibrates next to me, bouncing on the balls of her tiny feet. The question is practically a mantra these past few days, delivered with a boundless energy that's both adorable and slightly terrifying.

"After breakfast, sweetheart," I reply, a smile spreading across my face at her infectious enthusiasm. There's nothing quite like seeing the world through the eyes of a five-year-old on their birthday. My daughter's happiness will always fill me with a warmth that no amount of boy drama can touch. It's a feeling that transcends everything, a reminder of the pure, unadulterated joy that life can hold.

Following breakfast, a whirlwind of colorful wrapping presents is ready to be torn open in the living room. Joy squeals with delight as goes open a present, each one perfectly coordinated except for one.

"Which I open first?" Joy asks, her eyes wide with innocent curiosity.

I scan the gifts, settling on a heavier, ornately wrapped box. "Why not open this one?" I suggest, placing it gently in her hands.

With the practiced efficiency of a birthday veteran, Joy tears through the paper, gasping in delight as she reveals the contents. "A tea set!" she exclaims, her eyes sparkling. "It's a big girl tea set!"

"That's right," I reply, a secret smile playing on my lips. "A very special tea set for a very special big girl." I may not be able to control my lingering feelings for Travis, but at least I can ensure Joy has a birthday she'll never forget. Besides, I wasn't taking any chances. Two identical tea sets now resided in my pantry – a testament to my paranoia and a guarantee against chipped cups or broken saucers. You can never be too prepared, right?

The doorbell rings, jolting me out of my momentary self-satisfaction. "That must be the first of the guests," I announce, ushering Joy to put down the tea set (carefully, of course). With a final, lingering glance at the beautiful porcelain, I head for the door, a practiced smile plastered on my face.

Opening the door, I'm met with a sight that throws my carefully constructed facade into disarray. There stands Travis, a sheepish grin on his face and a brightly wrapped package in his hand. For a moment, I can only stare, the knot of apprehension in my stomach morphing into something entirely different.

The slam of the door echoes through the house, probably startling everyone inside. My heart thumps like a frantic drum solo in my chest, a million thoughts ricocheting through my head.

"Who is it, Mommy?" Joy's curious voice peeks through the doorway.

Taking a shaky breath, I plaster a smile on my face. "It's no one, sweetheart. Mommy just needs to... figure something out."

Stepping outside, I come face-to-face with Travis. His sheepish grin melts into surprise at my forceful welcome. "What the heck are you doing here?!" I hiss, barely keeping my voice down.

"Hey, calm down," he starts, placatingly raising his hands. "I just brought Joy her present. You wouldn't let me give it to you in Kansas City, remember?"

"You could have shipped it!" I exclaim, frustration bubbling over.

Travis's lips quirk into a playful smirk. "Now where's the fun in that?"

My head throbs. Fun? This is not a game. "Look," I say, trying to regain control, "her party's starting soon. You really need to leave."

The doorknob rattles, then creaks open a sliver. Joy peeks out, her big, curious eyes scanning between us.

"Are you here for my party?" she asks shyly.

"No, sweetheart, he isn't," I reply quickly, forcing a smile that might be more grimace than grin. "But he did bring you a gift!"

Joy's eyes light up. "A gift?" she squeals looking at Travis's present.

This is a disaster. Here I am, trying to manage this situation, and my own daughter throws a wrench in the plan.

"Well," I stammer, glancing at Travis, "if he brought a gift, maybe..." I trail off, unsure how to finish the sentence. Joy's birthday party isn't exactly the place for my unresolved feelings for Travis to resurface, but turning him away in front of her would be cruel.

Joy, oblivious to the internal battle raging within me, cuts through the tension with her characteristic bluntness. "Don't wanna be rude!" she declares, her tiny voice firm. "Has a gift, come to party!"

I sigh, defeated. "Do you want to come in?" I ask Travis, the words tasting like ashes in my mouth.

A triumphant grin spreads across his face. "Of course I'll come," he declares, brushing past me and into the house.

"Hi!" Joy beams at Travis. "What's your name?"

"My name's Travis," he replies, kneeling down to her level.

"I'm Joy!" she announces proudly.

"That's an awesome name," Travis says, his voice warm. A tiny pang of jealousy shoots through me, but I push it down.

"Thank you, Mr. Travis," Joy says politely, before plopping down dramatically on the living room floor.

"You're welcome, Joy," he replies, settling down beside her with a playful smile. "So, what cool things can you do?"

"Oh boy," I mutter under my breath, already dreading what's coming. Joy's love for showcasing her "talents" is legendary.

"Do you wanna see something cool?" Joy asks, her eyes sparkling with excitement.

Travis nods eagerly. "Of course I do!"

"Look!" Joy exclaims, extending both her forearms towards him. With a dramatic flourish, she bends her arms back at an unnatural angle. "My mommy says they're double-jointed!"

Joy's proclamation hangs in the air, punctuated by a loud crack from her elbows. Travis, bless him, doesn't flinch. Instead, he lets out a surprised laugh.

"Wow, Joy! Those are some serious bends!" he exclaims, his voice full of genuine awe.

Suddenly, Joy jumps up, pointing at me. "Mommy can do it too!" she exclaims, a mischievous glint in her eyes.

Travis raises a questioning eyebrow. "Really now?"

"It's genetic," I announce with a playful grin, pulling out my arms and attempting to bend them awkwardly in the same way Joy did. The pose is more contortion than flexibility, and I can't help but wince at the strain.

"Alright, nah," Travis smirks, his amusement evident.

"Oh, frick you! These arms don't give me any advantage!" I exclaim playfully, flicking him on the forehead with a light tap. He laughs, a warm, genuine sound that sends a shiver down my spine.

"I never said you had an advantage," he counters with a playful smirk. "You're the one making assumptions now, Double-Jointed McFlexy-Pants."

The nickname throws me off guard, a blush creeping up my cheeks. "Hey!" I swat at him playfully, the air crackling with a different kind of energy than before. "And stop flirting with me at my daughter's birthday party!"

Truthfully, the playful banter sent a thrill through me, but I couldn't deny the voice of reason in my head. This wasn't the time or place, and Joy's birthday deserved to be all about her.

Travis throws his hands up in mock surrender. "Flirting? Me? Never! Just appreciating your...enthusiastic participation skills."  His eyes twinkle with amusement, and I can't help but smile back, a secret warmth blooming in my chest.

"Can I open Mr. Travis' gift now?" Joy asks excitedly, pointing towards the brightly wrapped package he brought.

"Sure, sweetheart," I reply, a hint of curiosity creeping into my voice. What on earth did he get her?

Travis kneels down, his smile warm as he hands the present to Joy. With the practiced efficiency, she tears into the wrapping paper, sending colorful scraps fluttering to the floor like confetti. However, as she peers into the open box, her brow furrows in confusion.

"What is it, Mr. Travis?" she asks, tilting her head to the side.

"Well, your mommy told me how much you love to collect rocks," Travis explains, his voice gentle, "so I thought you might like something a little special."

He carefully removes the lid, revealing a collection of brightly colored rocks nestled inside the box. Joy gasps, her confusion replaced by pure wonder.

"They're rainbow!" she exclaims, her eyes wide with delight. She reaches out, her tiny fingers tracing the smooth surface of a particularly vibrant purple one.

"They're not just any rocks, though," Travis adds with a grin. "You can draw with them!"

Joy's jaw drops, her expression a hilarious mix of surprise and awe. It's as though he'd just presented her with the key to a magical kingdom. She clutches the box to her chest, a single rock crayon clutched tightly in her other hand.

My heart does a little flip-flop. It's been a long time since anyone, grown man or not, has captivated Joy quite like this. Maybe there's more to Travis than I initially thought.

Just as I turn to grab cups, the doorbell chimes, jolting me back to reality. Guests! Right, the party. With a sigh, I plaster a smile on my face and head to the door.

Opening it, I'm met with a wave of happy chatter and brightly wrapped packages. Blake, one of my best friends, stands there with her husband, Ryan, and their four little girls.

"Hey you!" Blake exclaims, pulling me into a hug. "Happy birthday to Miss Joy!"

"Thanks, Blake! Come on in, the party's already in full swing."

Ushering them inside, I brace myself for the inevitable chaos that unfolds. Soon, the living room is a whirlwind of colorful balloons, shrieking children, and the joyous sounds of birthday wishes.

For a while, I'm swept away in the whirlwind. Juice boxes fly, party favors disappear, and I try to maintain a semblance of order. But amidst the controlled chaos, I keep finding myself drawn back to Travis and Joy.

He seems to have an endless supply of jokes and games, keeping the kids entertained while somehow dodging the sticky-fingered disasters that come with birthday parties. Joy, for her part, is completely smitten. She clings to his side like a little shadow, her eyes sparkling with pure, unadulterated joy.

Blake, sidles up beside me, a knowing smile playing on her lips."Looks like someone's a hit with the birthday girl," she teases, nudging me with her elbow.

Heat creeps up my neck, a blush blooming on my cheeks. "He definitely seems good with kids," I mumble, trying to sound nonchalant.

"And maybe with certain grown-ups too?" Blake adds, her eyebrows raised suggestively.

My cheeks practically burn. Watching Travis interact with Joy has stirred something unexpected within me. The way his eyes light up when she laughs.

"Don't be ridiculous," I scoff, forcing a laugh that sounds a little too high-pitched. "It's just Joy's birthday party."

But the words taste like ashes in my mouth. Even as I say them, I can't shake the feeling that this is more than just a party. There's still a spark, a connection that has ignited between Travis and me, a flicker of something that's been dormant for far too long.

Relief washes over me as the last of the goodbyes are exchanged and the final car pulls away from the curb. The living room, once a whirlwind of colorful chaos, is now littered with the remnants of a successful birthday party – deflated balloons, half-eaten cupcakes, and a trail of sparkly glitter that seems to lead everywhere.

In the midst of it all stands Joy, her face flushed with excitement and a single, stubborn cupcake clutched tightly in her hand. Travis lingers by the doorway, a hint of hesitation in his eyes. A couple of times during the party, he'd made attempts to leave, citing the lateness of the hour, but Joy, with the persuasive power only a five-year-old can possess, had insisted he stay.

"Ready to officially turn five?" I ask Joy, kneeling down to her level and brushing a stray hair from her forehead.

"Yeah!" she chirps, her eyes sparkling with a mixture of excitement and apprehension.

"Well, then," I say with a smile, "we need to say goodbye to Mr. Travis first."

Joy's face falls. "No! Why can't he stay?" she complains, her lower lip trembling slightly.

This has been our tradition for as long as Joy can remember. Blowing out the candles in front of a crowd of giggling children has never been her forte, so we have a special ritual: a single cupcake, just for her, with a single flickering candle. Whenever she blows out that candle, she officially ages up. It's always been a quiet, intimate moment between the two of us, but this year, Joy seems determined to include Travis.

A soft smile tugs at the corner of my lips. "It's always just us, sweetheart," I remind her gently, understanding the flicker of disappointment in her eyes.  This tradition has been a special time for the two of us, a quiet moment to mark her growth.

But the way her lower lip trembles and the hopeful glint in her eyes as she pleads, "Please!" melts my resolve.  Letting out a playful sigh, I add, "Alright, alright.  You are the birthday girl, after all.  What do you say, Mr. Travis?"

Travis, who has been watching the exchange with amusement, steps forward with a smile.  "I wouldn't miss it for the world, Joy. Happy to be here for your big moment."

Joy's face breaks into a wide grin, her cupcake clutched protectively in her hands.  "Yay!" she exclaims, her voice filled with excitement.

"Now, make a wish Joy!" I light the candle, the flame flickering in the air.

The room falls silent, the playful chaos of the party replaced by a moment of quiet anticipation.  Joy closes her eyes tightly, her brow furrowed in concentration.  Then, taking a deep breath, she puffs out her cheeks and blows out the single candle.

A tiny cheer escapes her lips, and she throws her arms around my legs, burying her face in my stomach.  "I did it, Mommy! I'm five!"

I hug her back tightly, my heart overflowing with love. This little girl, with her boundless energy and infectious enthusiasm, has brought so much happiness into my life.

"Happy birthday, Joy to the World," I whisper, feeling a tear prick at the corner of my eye.

I gently disentangle myself from Joy's hug, wiping away the stray tear that had escaped.

"Alright, birthday girl," I say, forcing my voice light. "What do you want to do first with your official 'five-ness'?"

"Color." She answers.

"Color?" I repeat, surprised by Joy's choice.  Here she was, surrounded by mountains of new toys and games, and all she wanted to do was color?

But then I see her bright smile as she points to the box of rock-shaped crayons Travis gave her.  A warmth spreads through me.  Those simple crayons must seem like a magical treasure to her right now.

Joy nods vigorously, her eyes sparkling with anticipation. "Can I have some paper?" she pleads.

"Of course, sweetheart," I reply, grabbing a few sheets of leftover construction paper. "How about you color while Mr. Travis and I clean up a bit?"

Joy's face lights up with a relieved grin. "Okay!" she exclaims, taking the paper and plopping down on the floor in a nest of discarded wrapping paper. She unwraps a rock-shaped crayon with a flourish and starts coloring, her tongue sticking out in concentration.

A comfortable silence settles between Travis and me as we begin to gather the remnants of the party.  "She's got you wrapped around her little finger," he says with a chuckle, his voice tinged with amusement.

"Someone has to," I reply with a smile. "She's the boss around here."  There's a playful twinkle in my eye, and for a moment, our gazes lock.  The air crackles with a sense of unspoken possibility, a stark contrast to the earlier chaos. Suddenly, Travis breaks the comfortable silence, his voice taking on a serious tone.

"About last month..." He trails off, his eyes searching mine.

A jolt shoots through me. Last month. The night at the hotel. The night where the slightest brush of his hand sent shivers down my spine, the night where playful conversation morphed into something deeper, the night that ended with tears blurring my vision as I confessed to myself the mess of emotions tangled within me.

I freeze, caught off guard by his sudden shift in demeanor. "What about it?" I manage to ask, my voice strained.

"Look, I didn't mean to scare you like that. Maybe I just had too much to drink." His voice carries a hint of apology, a plea for understanding.

Relief washes over me, momentarily dissolving the knot of tension that had formed in my stomach. "No, no," I assure him, forcing a smile. "It's okay. You made a move and I reciprocated. We just, well, maybe we were just a little infatuated." I downplay the memory, trying to sound nonchalant.

"I just want to make it clear, I didn't come here to..." He trails off again, his words hesitant.

"I know, Travis," I interrupt gently, cutting him off before he can finish the sentence. "Thank you for staying. Joy really loves you." The last part is true, a genuine smile warming my face. Despite the awkwardness, I appreciate him being there for my daughter, for making her birthday special.

The two of us clean up the party while Joy continues to color with her new crayons, her happy chatter a comforting melody amidst the crinkling of paper and the clatter of plastic cups. After we finish cleaning, Travis lingers by the doorway, a hesitant air about him.

"I should get going now," he says finally. "You should spend some time with your birthday girl."

"Thanks," I reply, feeling a pang of something akin to disappointment. The easy camaraderie we'd shared while cleaning felt oddly comfortable, a stark contrast to the awkward tension that had settled earlier. I reach out and impulsively rub his arm in a gesture of gratitude. "Make sure you say goodbye to Joy though."

"Of course," he replies, his gaze lingering on mine for a beat too long before he walks over to where Joy is engrossed in her artwork. He kneels down to her level, a playful smile on his face.

"Hey, superstar. I'm getting ready to head out."

Joy's lower lip trembles slightly. "No! Please stay!" she pleads, her eyes wide with disappointment.

"I'm sorry, honey," I say, crouching down beside them. "But Mr. Travis really has to go this time."

"Please!" she cries, her voice thick with emotion. The sight tugs at my heartstrings, but I know it's time for him to go.

Travis pats her head gently. "I'm sorry, kiddo," he says apologetically. "But I gotta go. I'll visit again though, how about that? We can color together next time."

The mention of simply coloring with Travis seems to light a spark in Joy's eyes.  "Really?" she asks, a hopeful smile replacing her frown.

"Absolutely," he confirms with a wink.  He then stands up and turns to me, a question hanging unspoken in his eyes. The unspoken words echo in the air – a promise for the future, a lingering hope that hangs between us.

With a final wave goodbye to Joy, Travis walks towards the door. As he reaches for the knob, a bright flash of color catches his eye. Joy, a mischievous glint in her eyes, races towards him, a crumpled piece of paper clutched in her hand.

"Wait! I have something for you, Mr. Travis!" she exclaims, her voice bubbling with excitement.

Travis kneels back down, a smile gracing his lips. "What is it, kiddo?"

Joy, with a flourish, pulls the paper from behind her back, revealing a colorful masterpiece. It's clearly a picture, but the artistic interpretation is distinctly Joy-shaped.

"Wow!" Travis feigns astonishment, his eyes widening playfully. "Did you draw this yourself?"

Joy nods vigorously, her chest puffing out with pride. "Yeah! That's me and you and Mommy," she explains, pointing excitedly at the figures on the page.

She'd drawn a picture of the three of us, a lopsided but heartwarming family portrait. Squiggly lines represented limbs, and giant circles served as heads, each adorned with a mess of colorful hair. But it was unmistakable – there I was, a towering figure with a stick figure smile, holding hands with Joy and Travis, who sported a slightly crooked crown.

The air crackles with a mix of amusement and awkwardness. "This is..." I stammer, unsure of how to react. A part of me is touched by the sentiment, by Joy's innocent inclusion of Travis in our little family unit. Yet another part feels a flicker of something else, a confusing mix of surprise and...possessiveness?

"Why am I in the picture?" I finally manage to ask Joy, my voice laced with a hint of forced lightness. Maybe I'm overthinking it, but the question hangs heavy in the air, its implications impossible to ignore.

A blush creeps up my cheeks as Joy's guileless eyes meet mine.  "Because you're our friend, Mommy," she declares, her voice filled with a sincerity that cuts through my jumbled emotions.  "And Mr. Travis is my birthday king!"

Travis lets out a soft chuckle, the awkward tension easing slightly. "Well," he says, his voice warm, "I don't know about being a king, but this is definitely the most creative present I've ever gotten."

Travis carefully tucks the picture into his pocket, a newfound treasure. "Alright, pipsqueak," he says, ruffling Joy's hair gently. "It's time for Mr. Travis to head out for real this time. But I promise, I'll see you both soon."

He leans down and gives Joy a hug, the gesture lingering a beat too long. As he straightens up, his gaze meets mine once more, a silent promise hanging between us. Maybe, just maybe, this birthday wasn't just about celebrating Joy.

—————Author's Note:

Travis being a girl dad is a lane

I'm aware she's supposed to be in Germany the 27th but shhh

I GOT MY TATTOO AND ITS SUPER COOL