(12) Retrospect
18:59, 24 April 2020***
Sejeong's POV
I was scrolling through my gallery only to see Sehun's pictures that I took during our dates and house visits. I smiled particularly at one shot which I found most adorable.
He was holding Jerry's arms to stand him up while pouting his lips out to kiss him. "Aish, you complicated ass. I'm not even sure what I should do now. Sejeong, you selfish jerk."
I rolled over to my stomach, burying my face on the pillow. "This is so stupid. A two-month ordinary relationship is not something to cry over for too long but why the hell did I even leave when you said so?"
I pondered over the matter for a little more before picking up my phone to scroll through my contacts. "Baekhyun... Chanyeol... I'm still not over his words. Neither."
"Jihyo? Hmm, I doubt she knows anything about their schedule. Ah wait, Daniel."
I hurriedly searched his name and tapped the call icon. "Hello?" he answered.
"O, Daniel. Sehun and I haven't seen each other for a while since we're both busy. May I... ask how it's going?" I lied.
The other line fell silent for a while. "Hello?" I asked.
"That's obviously not what's happening, is it?" he suddenly said.
"H-huh?"
"Sejeong-ie, Sehun hasn't shown up for the past few days. Ever since he fell sick. You guys fought, didn't you?"
I sat up on my bed in shock. "He never went to work for four days?"
Daniel fell silent once again but I could hear his quiet sighs through the phone. "Okay, so you're just going to ignor-"
"The director never went mad about his absences? What if he gets fired for that? How much is the company's severance pay?"
"Sejeong-ah, hold on. The director never said anything about it so don't get worried too much. I'm sure Baekhyun gave some sort of excuse."
Hearing Daniel speak his name made me remember our last encounter again. Deciding not to push the topic further, I thanked Daniel and hung up. "So what now, huh?" I muttered. I continued to scroll through my contacts, seeing Chanyeol and Baekhyun's names near each other. "I need to get off my high horse, don't I?"
---
I took the cup of coffee into my hands, feeling its warmth spread to the tip of my fingernails. I shifted in my seat as I felt my stomach churning from nervousness. "I can't believe I'm the one apologizing."
After a few minutes of waiting inside the random urban cafe, I saw Chanyeol and Baekhyun enter the front door. I raised my hand head level for them to easily spot me. They saw me sitting by the window side and slowly approached, both of them tugging on their sleeves.
"Morning." I greeted. They sat down in front of me while Baekhyun pursed his lips in an attempt to smile. Chanyeol only remained silent and kept his hands under the table, keeping his eyes on them.
I massaged my thumb, thinking of the right words to say. "I'm-... I don't know how this conversation will turn out but-"
"I'm sorry." Baekhyun said. "For snapping at you and ridiculing you."
"Sorry for not explaining what happened when you had the right to know as Sehun's girlfriend." Chanyeol apologized.
Their explanation was brief, telling me what happened last Monday and how Sehun stormed out from the building. They said that Yoona used to be his girlfriend before she broke up with him two years ago after he hurt her.
"By hurt, you mean...?" I trailed off.
-Flashback-
Third Person POV
"Sehun, I'm so sorry." Yoona kept on saying as Sehun desperately held onto her while he was on his knees.
Sehun could barely speak in between his heavy breathing as he choked in his own sobs. "No, it's okay. Just stay. Please." he begged. "I'll forget everything you did just... don't leave me like this."
Yoona could not bear the sight of him crying, his eyes already swollen and his nose red from his tears. She stopped resisting as she felt her heart tear apart from guilt so she sat on her legs while she remained on her feet.
Sehun let go of her arms and immediately wrapped his arms around her tight. "I'm so sorry that you felt I was not enough. I promise to love you better so you don't have to leave."
Despite the sorrow he showed her, his words only left through her other ear, feeling herself trapped within his arms that embraced her sin. "Sehun..." she whispered. "I can't do this."
The rest of their encounter was a blur to Sehun as he felt the pain nearly asphyxiate him. His mind was a mess. He swore that she was just there in front of him until a few seconds ago when Chanyeol and Baekhyun picked him up from the floor.
The two of them thought that it would just be one of those things that were bound to happen to everyone so they clinked glasses with him as he awfully drank his heartache.
How they both wished they knew better than that.
The three of them sat on the living room, a week into letting Sehun drown himself in alcohol when they opened the door to let her in. "Can I talk to him alone?" Yoona asked.
Chanyeol looked at Sehun drinking by the center table before looking at Baekhyun. As they understood each other, Baekhyun simply nodded his head at her, retreating to their respective rooms.
Yoona cried as soon as they left her sight, seeing Sehun this broken because of her. She sat beside him, keeping a careful distance to show her respect. "Sehun..." she muttered. "I'm so sorry that you had to find out like that. I simply didn't know how to tell you that I already don't feel the same about you."
Sehun looked at her, his stare stabbing like knives. "Why didn't you just say so? You had no time to tell me but had every second to fuck someone else."
His words were dehumanizing but Yoona felt that she had every right to hear them. "Yoona, why are you here?" he said under his breath.
"Sehun, I'm so sorry." she cried.
"Does that mean you'll stay?"
Yoona was at a loss for words. "N-no-"
"Why?!" Sehun shouted. His word was firm, different from how broken he sounded just seconds ago. As if the overwhelming amount of confusion and anger held his voice together. But because of that, he sounded frightening.
Yoona felt afraid of the man before her and she felt that she had to be more careful of what she has to say. "I got accepted at the agency I applied for. I need to leave the ci-"
"Do you seriously think I want to hear that right now?" Sehun asked.
He was right. But she didn't know what else to say. "Sehun, all I know is I regret everything I did and I'm so sorry for hurting you this w-"
"Then why won't you stay with me?!" Sehun got up to his knees and held Yoona's upper arms. "If you're so sorry then why are you leaving me?" he said as he squeezed on her limbs.
She grunted on the pain but struggled to apologize still. "I just can't."
Within a split second, she felt his palm hit her cheek which caused her to squeal from the pain. Chanyeol and Baekhyun heard her from inside their rooms. They both rushed downstairs to see Sehun hit her a few more times as she helplessly struggled within his grasp.
"Sehun-ah!" Chanyeol shouted in an attempt to break Sehun out of his trance while he was running downstairs to stop him. Baekhyun pulled Sehun away from her, restraining his torso as Sehun tried to reach for her again.
Chanyeol immediately reached for Yoona's bag and gave it to her, guiding her outside their house.
---
Sejeong's POV
"We never imagined him to be someone who would act like that so we just let her talk with him that time." Chanyeol said.
"Loyalty was what Sehun considered most important so it hurt for him so much that she cheated. We understood that and we knew that he needed us after hurting Yoona but we were afraid that she would sue him because of what he did." Baekhyun explained.
"And she could easily win 'cause what she did wasn't considered as adultery under the law." I finished.
"Yes." Baekhyun agreed. "And we moved out of the house. I swear I wanted to stay with him but I chose to keep myself safe. It was selfish but it's what I did so it was hard for Sehun to open up to us again. He didn't go to work for a few weeks and we had to cover up for him. We updated him every time, hoping that he could see that we were still there."
"Then how did you make up?"
"Sehun texted us one day that he resolved everything with Yoona and that he was going to work again. We were reluctant to ask what happened so we never knew anything about it. We assumed that everything was already fine but now..." Baekhyun trailed off. "I just wish we stayed with him when he needed us the most." he said.
I felt my head ache in guilt, seeing myself react similarly to what they did. "I guess I'm not any better." I remarked.
We were engulfed in a moment of silence. My cup was empty and felt cold in my hands but I chose to hold it still. I remembered how I left him with all those mess inside his house and felt myself release a sigh.
After a moment, Chanyeol spoke. "So what do we do now?"
---
I stood outside the cafe as I watched them take off. I took my phone out and long pressed one to call Sehun. I closed my eyes as I listened to it ring, feeling the pressure already reach my nose as I felt tears threatening to escape my eyes. Sehun didn't pick up the call and I decided not to call again, returning it to my pocket as I walked to the bus stop. "I just hope that you're still okay."
Third Person POV
Sehun sat in front of the center table, still surrounded by the mess that he created. The scratch marks on his arms were already gone but the reason for that was maybe because he no longer had the energy to even hurt himself. The only thing keeping him alive was the glass of water that he set on the table after Sejeong left.
How long was it since he last ate? Or took a shower? He could smell himself reek and it was disgusting but who was there to tell him that? He felt too weak to even stand up so he laid down, ready to drive himself to slumber until he heard his phone ring. He slowly reached for it and saw Sejeong's caller ID on the screen.
It was ridiculous. The battery bar was already red and his eyes were already weary but she was able to call at that exact moment. His tears slipped out once again so he covered his eyes with his other hand while he folded on his side. "Sejeong-ah." he cried.
He couldn't remember when, he couldn't remember how but the mess inside his house started to tidy up one by one and now he found himself laying down on his bed after cooking a meal and taking a bath, clutching on the covers as he drifted off to sleep.
Sehun woke up to a noise from downstairs, making him get up in a hurry as he disconnected his phone from his charger. He was already halfway down the stairs when he understood what was happening. Baekhyun and Chanyeol were bringing their bags inside the house when they spotted him there.
As Sehun stared at them with a hint of confusion, Baekhyun raised up his hand with a chain hung on his middle finger that held a key which Sehun recognized immediately. "It was cold outside so we entered in a hurry." Baekhyun said as he smiled at him.
***
Let's support Sally in Produce Camp. ^_^
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