Chapter 67

I didn’t get a blink of sleep last night. I stayed up all night thinking about my stupid decision to actually go to James’s house today and not tell Conor about it, yet I’m here now walking to James’s house. As much as I’ve convinced myself that I shouldn’t be going, something’s drawing me to it and I don’t know what. 1% of me feels like everything’s going to be ok but I should keep Conor’s number on speed dial, but 99% is screaming for me to stay well away from his house. Why am I walking to his house now?

I stand outside the familiar glossy black door and just stare at it to double check I’m doing the right thing. Before I come to the conclusion that I definitely should not be here, he swings the door open and smirks at me. What the fuck am I doing? Just run Lucy.

“You’re back then” he smirks, opening the door wider so I can come inside. My hands haven’t stopped shaking this whole way here but now my breathing’s gone out of rhythm.

“Yeah” I say steadily.

“Come in then” he snaps. I swear he’s bipolar. Before I can even move my feet, me grabs my arm and drags me inside. “Go upstairs” he instructs me, pointing to the stairs in front of the door of his small house. I slowly lead the way up the stairs and enter the room that makes me feel like I’m entering a nightmare. “Are we doing this project or what then?”

“Um, yeah. I guess” I stutter.

“Unless you have any other plans?” he winks and I unintentionally gasp loudly.

“No, just the project” I shake my head furiously. “We just need to analyse it, then I’ll go”

“Ok” he shrugs. “Fine”

I basically leave all the analysing to him and just pick at my fingers, waiting for him to say something. I hate this silence. I just know that something’s going to happen. It makes the atmosphere more deadly. I don’t care who he is, I’d rather him talk to me than sit in silence and leave me to think about his plans to kill me.

“Done” he says way too suddenly, making me jump out of skin. He laughs slightly and I just smile awkwardly as he packs away our booklet. “So...” he trails off. I’m practically saying my final goodbyes now. Replays of yesterday play in my head and I just know that this time, it’s going to be worse.

“I should go” I stand from my place on the floor but he grabs my arms and pulls me back down.

“Why are you scared of me Lucy? I’m not going to hurt you” he frowns, searching my eyes in the process.

“I-I’m not scared of you” I mumble. Of all the lie’s I’ve told in my life, that was probably the biggest one going.

“You are, I can see fear in your eyes” he says, still working out my eyes while leaning in closer to me. He sounds so creepy.

“I’m a bit sick” I shrug. Maybe if he thinks I’m sick, he’ll stay well away from me. I sure would if Conor was ill. He rolls his head back in laughter and only brings it back up after a few seconds, wiping a small tear away.

“You’re not sick Lucy,” he breathes “you’re scared”

Yeah, you fucking wonder why. I’m shaking so bad.

“Why are you shaking?” he gasps, taking hold of my cold hands and squeezing them slightly. “You’re so cold”

“Like I said, I’m ill” I shrug.

“I hate liars” he snarls.

“Oh right” I frown. Why is he telling me this?

“Stop fucking lying to me. I know you’re not ill so give it up would you?” he snaps. I stay silent. I don’t want to provoke him. He takes one of his hands off mine and draws small circles on the inside of my thigh with his thumb, while he brings up his other hand and wraps it around the back of my neck. “You’re so irresistible Lucy. I’m so sorry” he sighs heavily before fiercely pulling my neck closer to him and crashing his lips against mine. I try so hard to wriggle out of his grasp but it’s too hard. Way too hard. He’s so strong. “Stop backing away!” he shouts, squeezing my thigh and bringing me back towards him to kiss him.

He takes his hand off my thigh and undoes the button on my jeans, before sliding his sweaty palm up my top and moving it violently around my waist. I use my free hands to push his chest away from me but he’s so strong. I try screaming but I can’t with his lips all over mine. I try getting my phone out of my pocket but I’m trapped. I have no way of getting out of this nightmare except hope I’ll wake up.

He slowly climbs on top of me and sits on my belly, practically straddling me. I’ve completely lost control and I just feel faint now. I feel my phone vibrating in my pocket but I’ve lost all my strength to even try and get it out. I just lie on the stranger’s floor and let him touch me.

What would Conor say about this? He’d probably tell me to beat the shit out of James but I’m lying here doing nothing about it. I wouldn’t care if Conor came into this room now and cracked James’s neck or something. In fact, I’m praying that he does.

He slowly rises my top high enough to see the bottom of my bra. Come on Lucy. Get the fuck up. I use a free hand to slap James so hard across his face that his cheek turns pink in a matter of milliseconds and my hand starts to sting. I use his weakness to get up off the floor and kick him so hard in his dick that I hope it drops off. I quickly button up my falling jeans and run out of his house, hearing him scream my name and other things I blanked out on.

You did it Lucy. I’m fucking free. I run down the street I hope I never return to and don’t stop running until I reach my front door. I’m so proud of myself.

I run inside, throw myself on my sofa and just cry. I feel sick. I feel dirty. I feel like nothing. My parents went out to visit my auntie that’s in London for the day so I literally have no one. I refuse to call anyone because they’re all together today and I don’t want everyone knowing what a fool I’ve made of myself.

I’m so stupid. Why the fuck did I go back round to his house when I know what he can do to me? I’m so fucking stupid. I start to scream into the pillow and don’t stop until I don’t have any energy, and I just fall to sleep on the sofa, curled up into a ball while listening to the clock ticking.

The loud banging at the door instantly wakes me up and I begin to feel scared, weak and vulnerable again. I can’t answer it. It could be James for all I know and I think I’d rather have Scream at my door than him.

I hear his laughing with a chorus of other people.

“Lucy! Answer the door!” he shouts. Oh my god, it’s Jack. I’m fine. I let out a huge sigh of relief and drag myself to the door. I can’t be bothered with this. I stand at the open door and just stare at Conor, Alex and Jack.

“What’s up?” Conor frowns, taking a step forward.

“Nothing” I shake my head. I can’t hide this from his any longer. “Come in” I frown, opening the door wider and locking it as soon as they enter, just in case ‘he’ happens to turn up... Although he doesn’t know where I live so that could be hard.

“Lucy, can we talk?” Conor asks as I lead the three of them into my living room. I take a seat next to Jack on the double sofa and Alex sits on the armrest next to Jack. Conor just stands in front of us all.

“Yeah” I nod and he looks at me confused.

“Can we go somewhere else?” he frowns.

“Why? Whatever you want to say, you can say it in front of these” I snap, gesturing to Alex and Jack.

“Jesus christ, calm down!” he gasps.

“No I won’t ‘calm down’. You’re in my house so you either tell me what you need to tell me in front of these or get out!” I shout. I don’t even know why I’m being so cruel to him.

“Fucking hell!” he gasps again but I choose to ignore him. “Where did you go today?”

“Out” I answer shortly.

“Obviously, but where?”

“I was with my Mum, not that it’s any of your business”

“Well where did you go with your Mum?”

“I went food shopping” I say as if it’s obvious.

“No you didn’t” he shakes his head.

“Yes I did” I nod.

“Didn’t”

“Did”

“You’re lying to me!” he shouts.

“I’m not lying. Stop fucking shouting!” I shout, hypocritically.

“I’ll stop shouting when you tell me the truth! You need to be honest with me, Lucy”

“Fuck off seriously, I’ve told you the truth now get out” I point towards the door.

“Just tell me the truth! Where have you been going for fuck sake!?”

“I went out with my Mum!” I scream. He sits on the table in front of me and covers his face with his hands.

“You’re lying to me! I don’t know what I’ve done Lucy. Why are you being like this?” he frowns.

“I’m not being like anything” I mumble and start to pick my nails.

“Yes you are!” he lifts up his face. His eyes are brimming with tears and look red. “You’re not being straight with me”

“What do you think I’ve done!?” I snap.

“Nothing! You’ve just been going out without telling me and you’re trying to say you’re out with your Mum. You clearly aren’t”

“You’re being stupid” I shake my head.

“No, you’re not treating me with any respect!” he raises his voice.

“I am treating you with respect!”

“No you’re not!”

“I don’t know why you’re getting so upset” I shrug. He’s being stupid about all this now.

“Because you’re lying!” his voice is shaky. “You’re not being honest with me”

“There’s nothing to be honest about. I’ve been out for one fucking night and you’re overreacting!”

“You’re lying, again!” he shouts.

“I’m not lying!” I scream.

“Yes you fucking are!” he shouts again.

“Right, you want to know where I fucking went?” I stand up from my seat and he mirrors my action.

“Yes!”

“I went to James’s house, alright?” I shout, sitting back down again. His face drops and he just frowns down at me.

“James who?”

“Sampson” I mumble.

“Why the fuck was you there?” he looks down at me.

“He invited me over to finish our IT project. That’s what I thought anyway” I say shakily. Tears brim my eyes and it takes all my effort to hold them in as flashes of him touching me come back to me.

“What are you talking about?” he frowns. “Lucy, please don’t tell me you kissed him”

“I didn’t”

“Then what the fuck did he do?” he sits down in front of me and takes my hand. I start to cry and he immediately pulls me in for a hug and rubs my back.

“I’m sorry” I cry.

“Tell me what happened baby” he whispers before pulling me away.

“He tried to... He tried-“ I get cut off by my tears pouring out.

“No. No, no he didn’t” he shakes his head but it just makes my cry harder. “Did he fucking touch you!?”

“H-he tried to... Twice, b-but I ran” I cry. Before he can even say anything, he jumps up from his seat and drags Alex off the armrest before heading out of the door, slamming it behind him.

“Fuck, Lucy” Jack gasps, pulling me in for a hug. I cry on his t-shirt as he rubs my back slowly. “I’m so sorry. It’s going to be ok. I love you”

Conor’s POV

He fucking touched her. He fucking touched what’s mine and she couldn’t do anything. Why the fuck didn’t she tell me she’s been going to his house?

All these thoughts run through my mind as I run to James’s house. Images of things he was doing to her flash through my mind making me angrier by the second. I’m going to fucking kill him when I see him, literally. To think we used to be friends in year 7. Fucking psycho.

“Conor!” Alex shouts from behind me but I continue to run, focussing on how I’m going to kill him when I see him. “Conor! He’s there!”

I stop in my tracks and turn around to see Alex pointing at the park beside us. I’ve worked out how I’m going to do this so he better not fuck with me. I’m shaking with anger and I’m surprised steam isn’t flowing out of my ears.

I storm down the park with Alex beside me. We’ve done this plenty of times before so I’m sure he knows what he’s doing. I walk over to his ‘group’ as casually as possible and they all look up at me.

I grab James out of the group by his collar and throw a strong punch to his nose, making him fall to the floor at a force. I put a leg at each side of his body on the floor and throw punch after punch at his face. He’s not even fighting back. Fucking pussy.

The adrenaline runs through me making me punch him stronger and faster. I want him dead. His group just stand there and watch as I continue to beat the shit out of him. As each image of him touching her flashes in front of me, I throw a stronger punch.

“Conor,” Alex snaps. “Conor, stop. You’re gonna kill him”

“I want him dead. You fucking psycho!” I shout, throwing one last strong punch and standing up. He moans in pain on the floor. His face is spilling blood and is practically swollen already. He’s fucking lucky he’s not dead.

“Come on” Alex mumbles, pushing me slightly away from him. I kick him one last time in his stomach and get down on my knee’s next to me.

“If you go near her or even make fucking eye contact with her again, I swear to god that'll be the last time. Do you hear me?” I threat and he just moans. “I said, do you fucking hear me!?”

“Y-yeah” he groans, spitting out some blood from him mouth onto the floor. I get up and walk away and I’m pretty sure I hear Alex throw a punch at him. As soon as we leave, I turn around to see his group crowding around him and trying to help him up. I smirk slightly at what I’ve done, but then remember everything he did to her. I punch the football net pole as hard as possible with my fist, making it cut further and spill with blood.

“Conor, calm down. You’ve done what you needed to do” Alex tells me.

“Don’t you start. How would you feel if someone fucking touched your girlfriend and she couldn’t do anything about it?” I snap.

“I’d fucking kill him” he grits his teeth together.

“Exactly, so just leave it”

“Sorry” he sighs and I just nod, walking straight back to Lucy’s in silence. We reach her door and I don’t bother to knock, I just walk straight though to her living room, leaving Alex to shut the door.

“Oh my god, what have you done?” Lucy gasps, jumping out of Jack’s embrace and taking hold of my hand. I quickly flinch away and frown at her. I’m so pissed off.

“Why didn’t you just fucking tell me that you were going to his?”

“Because you’d think something was going on between us!” she argues.

“Well at least you would be safe! Why the fuck would you go round again if he already tried it with you!?” I shout.

“He said he can put you and Jack in hospital. He’s done it before!”

“What the fuck!? Bullshit. He’s scared shit of me!” I gasp. Where is he getting this bullshit from?

“Well that’s what he said” she sighs, sitting back down next to Jack.

“Well maybe if you’d asked me first you’d know these things. You really think that he can put us in hospital Lucy? Look at him!”

“I don’t know. I never thought of it that way. I was too busy planning a fucking escape route!” she snaps. “Is this all you care about? You shout at me for being stupid rather than actually acknowledging that he touched me. You’ve not even asked if I’m ok or anything. Stop being so fucking heartless and think about others for once”

She’s so right. I’ve done nothing but shout at her since I’ve found out. I am being heartless. I always am.

“I’m sorry” I mumble. “I’m just angry”

“You always are” she sighs.

“Yeah, there’s a reason” I frown but she just ignores me. “Lucy, I’m sorry. Are you ok?”

“I’m fine”

“No you’re not” I kneel down next to her and brush some hair out of her face. It surprises me when she doesn’t flinch away.

“What did you do to him?” she frowns, looking into my eyes.

“Just slapped him” I shrug and she starts smiling. Then laughing.

“Is that why your hand’s covered in blood?” she smirks.

“I fell over on the way there” I smile at her and she starts laughing again. “Come here” I open my arms and pull her in for a hug.

“Conor, if you’ve got any blood on my top I’m going to kill you” she mumbles into my ear. I pull away from the hug and just smile. “Come on” she stands up from her seat.

“What?” I frown.

“We need to sort your hand out” she says as if it’s obvious. I nod and stand up with her, walking up to the bathroom and leaving Alex and Jack to their conversation about what happened at the park.

She does a load of shit to my hand that stings like fuck but feels so much better when she’s wrapped some bandage around it. This is coming straight off when I go home.

“Sorted” she smiles, washing the blood out of the sink.

“Thanks” I mumble, staring at the unnecessary bandage wrapped around my knuckles.

“You’re probably going to take that off as soon as you get home but let me warn you, it will hurt when you do” she raises her eyebrows.

“I’ll live” I shrug, smirking afterwards. “Does your Mum know about it?”

“Nope” she shakes her head.

“You need to tell her”

“No I don’t. They’ll make a huge fuss and call the police and stuff. I can’t be bothered” she sighs. She has a valid point. If her parents do call the police, I’d probably get done for beating the shit out of him so maybe it’s best that they stay out of it.

“Ok” I nod understandingly.

“What did you do to him?” she frowns.

“Let’s just say he couldn’t move when I was finished” I smirk and she gasps.

“Conor! What about the police!?” she covers her mouth. I love how she doesn’t care about how hurt he is, she only cares about me getting arrested.

“He’ll be shit scared to call the police, don’t worry about it” I shrug, trying to calm her and she hesitantly nods. “And if you ever plan on going to another boys house again-“

“Don’t” she finishes my sentence with a smile.

“Got it in one” I smile proudly at her and give her a high five.