Chapter 19

Conor's POV

I grab her just before she falls to the floor. I gently place her down and look at Jack with tears in my eyes.

"This is all your fucking fault. Leading her on for fuck sake. If anything's happened to her I swear to god I'll-"

"How is this my fault? You're the drunk idiot that's always upsetting her constantly. I'm sick of it. You kissed Emily right in front of her just to make her jealous and now look where that’s got you" Jack fights back.

"Just fuck off" I snap and walk back inside for another drink.

She has no idea how I feel about her. I've never been this crazy about someone in my life but I’m just too scared to show it. This feeling’s foreign to me. I’m a dick for doing that with Emily all night. I don’t even want to think about it. She’s fuck annoying but I just wanted to get Lucy mad. I’m fucking messed up.

‘Blame it on the alcohol’ I keep telling myself but I know that this has nothing to do with the alcohol. I keep drinking more and more all night until Jack comes up to me. I've been sat on my own all night just drinking and thinking.

"Come on we're going" he says.

"Where?" I slur.

"Home" he mumbles. I stumble to my feet and he puts his arm around my shoulder to guide me out of the house.

I'm pissed...

We get outside and Jack walks into a car. I get in and see Mum in the driver’s seat and Lucy in the passenger seat. Mum looks fuming so I decide to ignore her and go to sleep in the car.

"Conor wake up" Jack says, pushing me around. I open my eyes and fall out of the open car door.

"Shit" I say, picking myself up off the floor. I stumble into my house and go into Jack's room. He comes in carrying Lucy bridal style.

"Trust you to do that" I sneer.

"Sorry, I should've fucking left her in the car and waited for you to come and get her because that's your job right?" he says sarcastically so I just roll my eyes. He puts her in his bed and starts walking out of the room.

"You coming then?" He asks.

"No I'm staying in here with her" I say and take my jeans off to get in bed with her.

"That's not a good idea"

"Why not? She won't mind" I slur.

"I think she will. Just sort things out in the morning yeah?" he sighs so I just stumble out of the room and fall on my bed before going to sleep as soon as I hit the pillow.

Lucy's POV

I slowly open my eyes and sit up from bed. I look around my room, it looks different. I'm going to be sick. I jump out of bed and run to the bathroom.

Wait, this isn't my house. Why am I at Jack's house?

I don't care. I run to his bathroom and start being sick in the toilet. I sit next to the toilet and all the memories come flooding back. Yet again another shit night.

I clean up in the bathroom and go back into Jack's room. He isn't there. I walk over to Conor's room and slowly open the door. He's still asleep and Jack's not in there. I walk into the spare room and see Jack asleep in bed. I'm just about to close the door when he speaks.

"You're awake then" he mumbles. I walk back into his room and sit at the edge of his bed.

"Yup" I mumble. He sits up from the bed and looks at me. "Jack, I'm so sorry"

"Why did you do it?" he asks, ignoring my attempt of an apology.

"I-I don't know. Conor just made me angry and I was drunk"

"Well it's just made things worse"

"I know. I'm really sorry" I sigh.

"I don't think you should be apologizing to me"

I sigh, "I'll sort things out later" and he nods.

"Are we still bezzo's then or do you have some sort of 'crush' on me" he smirks.

"Just bezzo's" I wink and give him a really long hug. "Thanks for bringing me here" I whisper in his hair.

"It's fine" he says and releases me after a good few minutes of silence, just hugging.

"What even happened last night?" I laugh and sit under the covers with him in bed.

"Well after you kissed me, you passed out and just fell to the floor, then I got into an argument with Conor because he blamed it on me. Then he decided to get smashed and I had to get my Mum to pick us up at three in the morning" he laughs.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry"

"Just forget about it, yeah?" I nod as soon as soon as Conor walks in the room.

"You look comfy" Conor says walking into the room.

"For god’s sake" I say and get out of bed.

"Please don't start" Jack says.

"What happened last night?" Conor asks. Jack explains it all but talks about their argument in more detail.

"And I'm sorry for everything" Jack mumbles at the end of the story.

"It was my fault. I was smashed" Conor laughs and Jack laughs lightly. After a few moments of silence, Conor starts staring at me. I look back at him but don't say anything, instead, my eyes start watering. I bite my lip to hold in the tears, and I lower my head and feel the tears roll down my cheeks and hit my thighs.

I feel two arms wrap around me and pull me into their chest. I cry on his shirt and I know who it is because of their scent. I wrap my arms around his waist.

"I'm so sorry" I cry.

"Shh" he whispers, wiping his thumb over my cheeks to remove the tears. He kisses my forehead. “It was my fault. I... sorry”

I look up and smirk at him. He pushes his beautiful blonde hair up and licks his lips. He leans in a kisses my lips.

"I missed you so much" I say between kisses and he just moans. I think that's an agreement...

"Guys can you do this in your own time" Jack ruins the moment. I feel Conor smile in the kiss but just rolls on top of me and kisses me harder. "Right. Time for me to go" Jack says and walks out of the room, shutting the door behind him. As soon as he leaves, Conor gets off me and we both burst into laughter.

I stay at Conor and Jacks house all day and Conor's actually being nice. I'm so glad that he apologized but I know I gave into him too easily. I was so emotional at the time and I was desperate for him to just hold me. A part of me is still mad at him for going so far with Emily, which he hasn’t explained anything of, so I guess I’ll ask him about it when the time is right.

"I think I'm gonna get going now" I say. It's 7:30 and Mum will be wondering where I am.

"I'll walk you back" Conor says, putting his shoes on.

"Ok. Bye Jack, thanks for everything" I say giving him a hug.

"Aw it's fine" he says into my hair. I walk back in complete silence. Conor keeps talking but I stay quiet and just nod or hum as a response.

"What is wrong with you today?" he asks and I just nod.

Wait, wrong response.

"Lucy?"

"I um"

"Have I done something to upset you?" he asks.

"I don't know"

"Can you explain?"

"Well, we haven't really talked about this argument and I'm keep thinking about it but-"

"Lucy, I thought we were past this" he interrupts.

"I'm not" I mumble.

"Well what do you expect me to do?"

"Conor what are we?" I ask, ignoring his question.

"What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean. What are we?"

"Let's not get into this" he laughs.

"No, let's get into this" I nod.

He just moans, "Honestly Lucy, I don't know". I just moan. "Well what do you want me to say? You want me to be your boyfriend so we can be happy for a month then just split up like every other relationship. This is why I don't fucking date Lucy. I thought you knew"

"I thought we were different"

"What? We fuck a few times and you think you're different. You're just like the rest except you’re the only person that stays around"

I stand there with my jaw practically on the floor. I'm speechless. I stop walking and just look at him. He gives me a blank expression. I walk away from his as fast as possible and decide to go far away from home to get some space.

I keep walking and walking without looking where I'm going. Why do I forgive him? Why do I let him treat me like shit? I stop walking when it starts to pour it down with rain and I'm in the middle of a field. Where am I?

I start to run out in the field in any direction to try and find an exit. I eventually find an exit and find myself in what looks like a new estate. It's really clean and pretty and the houses are huge. My clothes are getting wetter by the second because of the rain so I try to walk out of the estate as quickly as possible.

When I get out of it, I'm on a main road. I'm in my dress from last night, I'm freezing cold and I'm soaked from the rain so I decide to call Jack so he can help me... Until I bump into someone dressed in black with his hood up. I'm dead...

"Lucy?" He says. What? How does he know my name?

"Um, yeah?" I shout over the rain blurring my vision.

"It's Ben" he says, pulling down his hood a bit. "What are you doing around here at this time?"

"What time is it?"

"It's ten o'clock" he says, checking his watch. Wow, I must've been walking for longer than I thought.

"Oh right, I kinda got lost" I mumble.

"Have you been crying?"

"Um, I"

"Lucy you can't be around here at this time, come on" he says and puts his arm around me. We walk towards the estate that I just left and he leads me into a house. It's an average size, bigger than mine and is cleaned perfectly. "So this is my house" he laughs.

"It's well nice" I gasp and he just laughs. "Why can't I be out at this time?"

"It's um, let's just say dodgy, at this time. Well, you're dressed like that and you're walking around in the dark, on your own. You know where I'm getting at?" He asks and I just nod while following him into the kitchen "I hate living around here. It's full of gangs... Tea?"

"Yes please"

"Sugar?"

"No thanks" I say and he smiles and starts making me a cup of tea.

"So why are you out here?" he asks, giving me my drink.

"Well I ran away from Conor"

"What? What did he do?" he asks over dramatically.

"I asked him 'what are we' and he said we fuck a few times, I'm no different and I'm just like the rest" I sigh.

"What a dick. You deserve so much better" he says, walking into the living room and sitting on the sofa. I sit next to him and sigh.

"I can't get better"

"Of course you can! You're fucking beautiful and you're great to be around. I love being with you and I'm sure so many boys would kill to be your boyfriend" he smiles.

"Ben that's so ni-"

"I would" he laughs and I give him a confused expression. "You know, kill to be your boyfriend. When we stalked you that time in the shop, I thought you was fucking perfect and still do"

I'm speechless. I don't know what to say or do so I just open my mouth in an 'o' shape. He laughs and taps my chin to close my mouth. I gulp and lean over to him. I put my hand around his neck and shut my eyes. I feel his hands around my waist so I lean in further and kiss him.

His kisses aren't the same as Conor's but I'm still enjoying this. Ben treats me so much better than Conor does. Why can't Conor be Ben? I think about why I'm kissing him. Is it just a distraction from Conor or do I really want this? I'm convinced I want this but something's telling me it's a distraction. I get further into the kiss and push that thought out of my head. I roll on top of him and play with his hair while kissing him.

"Lucy" he breathes. "Lucy wait". I pull away from him and just look him in the eyes. He looks worried. I knew this was too good to be true. He plays with the hair at the back of my head but we never lose eye contact. "Oh, fuck it" he says and starts kissing me again.

"Wait" I say and pull away. "Why are you worried?"

"How do you know?"

"Your eyes"

"I-I don't know. I feel like I'm taking advantage of you. Are you sure you want to do this?" he asks and I just roll my eyes and start kissing him again.