Chapter 3

  Jack holds the phone to his ear a moment after the ringing finally stops, listening to the prerecorded message in the voice he missed so much already.

"Hey, sorry you cant get ahold of me. Me being Mark by the way. You probably knew who you were calling, so I dont know why I said that... I'll shut up now. Go ahead leave a message." A beep follows soon after, but Jack hangs up, having nothing to say worth leaving a voicemail anyway.

  Jack sighs to himself in the dark room. He supposes Mark is still busy. Which is fine, cause he'll be talking to him soon enough. All the waiting, and patience, and work will be worth it, because Mark will make it all better. Mark will soothe the anxiety, he'll nourish his touch starvation, he'll kiss away all the ache.

  At least, Jack thinks so. He has to. He cant bear to imagine Mark rejecting him. Not after everything... Not after Vegas.

  He glances back at his bed and the clock, noting that if he sleeps now, tomorrow may come sooner, and in perfect honesty, he's exhausted. Recording videos (and paritlaly editing some of them to keep Robin from hearing all the accidental slip ups he lets loose about Mark) all day, every day has been taking a toll on him.

  He's sick of staring at a computer screen, and he's sick of watching everything he says for fear of accidentally outing all the secrets he's held onto so tightly. He cant wait to show up on Mark's doorstep for the surprize visit, and undo the many knots he's tied into his own stomach with the release of all the white lies and secrecy. He wonders if they'll ever be able to untie the biggest knot, the secret of this... Whateverthefuck they're doing.

  Could they ever... Come out? If thats the proper term. Or would they be doomed to keep their lips buttoned and activities solely behind closed doors? Surely nothing good could come from holding such a fact from the world, especially when millions of prying eyes are always aimed at the both of them. They always have an audience. No matter where they go.

  Jack shakes his head, undressing himself quickly before crawling under his covers, spinning away from the rest of the room to the empty side of his bed. Hopefully, if everything follows the fantasy in his head, this will be one of the last nights he'll sleep alone. He doesnt question the impermanency of the thought.

  Eventually he'll have to come home and sleep alone again, and he's all too aware of that cruel fact, but that doesnt matter right now. Now, his aim is to sleep, and be well rested for tomorrow, when he'll need to sort out the tiny details before his flight later that night into the early morning. Then he'll see Mark, and things will be great, just like they were in Vegas. A smile plants itself firmly on his lips, even as he drifts off.

  Mark mopes as he watches a few of Jack's videos, beating himself up over missing Jack's call. He sent a text appologising for missing it, hoping that Jack would call in response, but he's sure he was far too late. Jack has probably already clocked out for the day.

  He knows he should be working on editing many of the videos he's been recording, but a while back he told the fans he was going on a break. He told them all pretty bluntly about he and Brittany's split, but didnt use it as a reason for the break. In fact he was vague in every detail of the announcement. He gave no specific time frame for when he'd be back, gave no reason, and he just hasnt had the effort to return to it all since.

  Making the videos is easy enough, reviewing, editing and posting them is another story. Ethan has been helping a lot with it all, but upon request has been holding onto them for when Mark decides he wants to return to the scene.

  Mark sighs, glancing at his silent phone once more, just in time to catch it lighting up with a message. With an excited gasp he snatches the phone and twirls his chair as he opens the message. The joy falls away once he finds the message from his ex, Brittany displayed on his screen.

Brittany: Hey, sorry to bug you again, but I dont suppose you've seen my locket?

  After they broke up, he promised she could come over and grab her things from his apartment. She came by once, maybe a a week or so after he'd gotten home from Vegas to do just that, but left a tear eyed mess. Its no surprise if she'd forgotten a few items here and there.

  Of course he feels guity about all of it. He couldnt even properly explain himself when she asked for a reason. He couldnt tell her he simply no longer feels the love for her that he felt in the beginning. He couldnt tell her that the love that was supposed to be hers was stilen away by a man with an Irish accent. So, he didnt. And they fought, again. And he cant fight her anymore. He simply doesnt have the energy. But that doesnt mean he should ignore the question. Shes asking for her locket, not the stitched up mysteries he keeps on lockdown.

  He leans back in his seat, allowing her question to mull over in his head. Actually, he has a vague memory of seeing a necklace in his medicine cabinit. Curious, he stands and walks to the bathroom, opening the cabinet behind his mirror. Sure enough, there it is. He places it in his palm and snaps a picture to send her way.

Mark: This?

Brit: Yes! Thank god. Can I come by and grab it sometime? I found some more stuff of yours I need to return too. 

  Mark shifts his jaw thoughtfully at the message. He supposes its only fair.

Mark: Sure

He replies, hoping he doesnt sound as salty as he worries it might.

Brittany: Alright, how about tomorrow?

  He sighs to himself, she asks so many questions. But he should be grateful for that, because tomorrow he Tyler and Ethan planned on meeting the Grumps, and Vi for a live stream.

Mark: Cant, how about day after?

Brttany: Alright see you then

  Mark nods at his phone as if to punctuate the conversation, making his way to the kitchen for a bag of Takis to eat while binging Jack's videos. Once on his way back to his computer, he opens his phone's calender, picking the proper date and creating a reminder. At least now he doesnt have to use brain pwer to remember that she's coming over.

~**~

  Jack wakes to the sound of music playing from his phone. Expecting an alarm, he reaches out blindly to snooze it but instead answers the call displayed on his screen. After a moment of silence, Mark lifts a brow.

"Hello?" He questions, earning confusion from the sleepy Jack in his bed. He'd heard a faint voice, but from where? Finally lifting his head and peeking out one eye, he notices the call in progress.

"Hellooo?" Mark again beckons curiously just as Jack hurridly presses the phone to his ear.

"Hey!" Jack cheerfully greets in return, hastily clearing the gravel from his sleep fresh voice.

"Were you busy?" Mark questions, unable to fully push aside the sadnes the question brought. Jack shakes his head needlessly, after all no one could see it.

"No, no, just overslept." He admits with an awkward chuckle, throwing his legs off the side of his bed.

"Did I wake you?" Mark questions more. Jack bites his lip, unsure if he should answer truthfully. He doesnt want Mark to feel guilty, but also hates lying, especially to Mark. But, in order to keep this trip a secret, he's unfortunately had to do some white lying lately. Never anything major, just small things like why he was so busy and what his plans for his next break were, but still, it always made him feel thr same pang of guilt every time

 "Yeah, but I needed to get up. What are you up to?" He asks, trying to change the subject. Mark sighs on the other end, but more so to himself than Jack.

"I'm getting ready to go do a livestream with Ethan, Tyler, Vi, Suzy, and the Grumps." Mark admits leaning his shoulder in the doorway of his closet as his eyes search for an outfit. Jack rakes a hand through his hair, allowing himself a moment to simply sit and wake up further.

"You dont sound all too excited for it." Jack points out. Mark quirks his lips.

"I'm not, really..." He admits, his eyes falling to his bare feet on the carpet.

"Why not?" Jack expresses his curiousity aloud.     Mark pauses a moment, unsure how to answer. He could tell the truth, that he's nervous to look Ethan in the eye after all of his confessions yesterday, that the livestream will be four agonizing hours of trying not to go crazy with the two couples and their love, and that he'd be much more excited if Jack were there.

"Just, you know, dealing with people. Not my cup of tea." Mark states vaugley, grabbing a blue shirt and jeans, tossing them carelessly on his bed as he strides to his dresser. Jack lets out a laugh in the form of a sharp exhale.

"Well, its a good thing you're not like, a Youtuber, or anything, right." He sarcastically makes his point as he stands from his seat on the bed to stretch. Mark rolls his eyes, but the corners of his lips twist upward.

"You know what I meant." He says, raking a hand through his damp hair.

"Yeah. Well, if it helps at all, know that I'm cheering you on from here." Jack responds, heading to the kitchen for some coffee.

"I dont hear any cheering." Mark retorts sassily as he pins the phone between his shoulder and ear, stepping into his jeans.

"Mark, Mark, he's our man, if he cant do it, well that sucks." Jack lazily chants into the phone, starting the coffee maker and toaster for breakfast. Mark chuckles, breifly pulling the phone from his ear to tug his shirt over his head.

"Douche."

"It takes one to know one." Jack smirks at his own comeback as the toaster releases his breakfast.

"TaKeS OnE tO kNoW oNe." Mark repeats Jack's word mockingly, earning a few chuckles from Jack as he bites into his freshly buttered toast.

"When does the livestream start?" Jack asks between bites. Mark glances at the clock above his head and lets out the barest of a frustrated groan.

"In like, an hour." He whines as he flops backward onto the bed.

"Entertain me until then?" Mark almost pleas, tugging a smile out of Jack.

"Aye aye, Captain." Jack teases, earning a few chuckles from the oher end.

"Can we... can we face time?" Mark asks suddenly, causing Jack to prematurely swallow a mouthful of toasted bread.

"Uhh," He hesistates, glancing down at himself, sure he looks a proper mess.

"I havent showered yet." He responds, to which Mark scoffs at.

"I dont care. It beats holding the phone to my ear." Sure, thats true enough. But in all earnesty, Mark misses Jack's face more than anything.

"Okay..." Jack still hesitates, wrestling his hair while making a beeline for his room. He at least needs clothes on before hand. Just as he tugs up a pair of pants, his phone vibrates, alerting him of Mark's incoming facetime. He takes a deep breath and answers, tugging the shirt over his head quickly.

"Hello, again." Mark grins at the camera, laid back on his bed casusally, watching as Jack jostles the camera around for a minute.

"Hey." Jack responds, sending a shakey smile at his friend as he makes his way back to the kitchen to finish his food and coffee.

  Mark lays there, uncontrollably smiling like a dork, looking at Jack through his phone as if he could be standing right in front of him if he wanted it bad enough, and if that were the case, Jack would be. Jack blushes, looking over himself again as he catches Mark staring.

"Sorry, I told ya I wasnt ready for the day." He chuckles embarressedly.

"Shut up! You look great!" Mark assures honestly, hesitating slightly to mumble to the screen,"You always look great."

  Jack blushes more, attempting to hide behind his toast as he takes a small bite, pretending not to hear the compliment to prevent the urge to accept it as truth.

"Whatcha eatin'?" Mark questions as he rolls onto his side, so he may easier  brace the phone against the bed instead of holding it in the air, where it runs the risk of being dropped onto his face. Jack lifts his toast more in sight of his camera.

"How about you?" Jack questions, mixing his coffee and once more taking a seat. Mark's eyes dart guiltily away.

"You havent eaten yet today, have you?" Jack scolds, looking up from under his stern brow.

"I ate early this morning!" Mark defends himself, to which Jack rolls his eyes.

"When?" Jack questions sassily.

"...Like... 3:30." Mark mumbles guiltily, knowing Jack saw right through his tricks.

"So last night." Jack confirms to which Mark quickly corrects.

"No! It was after midnight. And a.m. means morning. So there!" He teases matter of factly.

"We talked about this, its not 'tomorrow' until you sleep!" Jack teases in return, watching the smile grow wider across Mark's cheeks.

"Thats factually incorrect." Mark continues with the banter easily.

"You cant prove that!" Jack jests.

Mark opens his mouth before ultimately succumbing to giggles.

"Goddamn it, Seán."

  The use of his real name gives him goosebumps, even though Mark had been using it more frequently in the past couple months. Something about the way his voice curls around the letters, its almost... affectionate, it makes Jack's lip quiver. It sounds like a claim, like only he could say it, and frankly Jack loves it. He swallows back the wash of hot chills that krept over him to press the true matter of the conversation.

"You need to eat something, today." Jack urges, still attempting the same level of play as before, despite the still fading sensations Mark gave him a moment before. Mark makes a face.

"But I'm comfy..." He protests, wondering if Seán will always blush that deeply with the call of his name. If so, Mark will never stop using it.

"You'll be hungry during the livestream." Jack warns, to which Mark blows off with a shrug and 'psh'. Jack makes a face now, which catches Mark's attention.

"Please?" Jack begs, his blue eyes puppy-like. Mark's heart turns into a puddle immediately, but he stiffens himself to cover it. 

"Will you leave me alone if I do?" Mark questions facetiously and unbudgingly from his spot on the bed, secretly loving the look of Jack's begging eyes.

"Only if you eat something with some substance." Jack offers, his eyes working magic on Mark. He sighs and hauls himself from the bed.

"Fine, fine." He says dragging himself and Jack to the kitchen.

"Will an apple fit the bill?" He questions, holding it in Jack's veiw.

  Jack contemplates Mark's offer for a moment, but ultimately deems it worthy of a breakfast food. Besides, if he'd said no, theres a good chance Mark would have grabbed something much less healthy out of spite, like a poptart, or a bag of Takis.

"Fine." Mark pretends to reluctantly eat the apple, but he's grateful for the nag that Jack pretends to be. Its a nice reminder that Jack genuinely cares.

"So, you got plans today?" Mark asks as he wrestles his mouthful of apple. Jack rolls his eyes as he watches Mark purposefully chew obnoxiously.

"Just to get everything sorted out before I le-" He cuts himself off, reminding himself that hes trying to surprise Mark.

"What?" Mark asks, having struggled to hear Jack past the crunching of the apple in his mouth and Jack's abrupt stop. Jack clears his throat.

"Just more recording and stuff." He lies, already feeling his undigested breakfast roll inside him.

"Ah, so another busy day, huh?" Mark purposely pushes back any bitterness in his tone, and masks any of it on his face with a smile. Jack swallows guiltily and pushes his toast away.

"Not today really, and I wont be super busy much longer." He promises, his blue eyes searching Mark's brown ones for acceptance of his words, but finds Mark's skepticism.

"Promise?" Mark's voice is heavier than he intended. He misses Jack so much it really hurts.

  Jack can hear it in his tone, and nods vehemently. He hates that the slight pang in Mark's voicre gave him butterflies, but if Mark is aching for Jack to not be busy, maybe, just maybe, he misses Jack just as much as he does Mark. And maybe, just maybe, that means Jack's fantasy is more of a relaity 

"I swear. After tonight, you'll have me all to yourself." Jack promises again, smiling at the heaviness of the hint that Mark has yet to understand, but a smile doesnt tug across Mark's face.

"Why not tonight? I thought you said you wouldnt be busy tonight?" Mark questions, to which Jack lifts an eyebrow.

"I wont, but you will be. Duh." Jack reminds Mark, attempting to earn any form of joy. Mark thinks for a moment and suddenly remembers the livestream he agreed to join, only about 20 miutes from now.

"Oh, yeah. Right." He says past a few chuckles, wondering if theres be any appropriate way to ditch the stream. He hates to admit that he's a tad bit skeptical of Jack's promise. He hates to believe that Jack isnt being honest, but lately he's been getting odd vibes of lies in Jack's words. So far, just little things, like why he's been so busy.

  Jack first told him it was to make up for a load of videos that got deleted, then later, said that he was making up for the time he'd spent with his family a bit ago. Mark never called him on it, but wonders which, if either, were the truth. Hell, they could both be the truth. Mark keeps trying to tell himself that he's seeing something in nothing, but its been becoming increasingly hard to ignore. He cant unsee the twitch at the ends of Jack's lips, nor can he ignore the waver in his voice when the words came out. Neither of the excuses, nor a few others, had seemed authentic. But, if Jack is telling the truth now, then Mark will have him all to himself, just as he's been oh so desperate for. In this case, the reward is greater than the risk, by a million miles.

"Speaking of, I'd probably better get going." Mark continues, meeting Jack's gaze with a smirk.

"Say hi to everyone for me." Jack returns the small smile.

"Will do." Mark nods confirmingly, eager to get everything done and over with.

"Love ya." Jack instinctively says, his hand reaching for the end call button. Mark surprises himself when he feels his cheeks growing warm.

"Love ya too." He responds his eyes bouncing nervously about the screen. Jack's smile grows as he ends the call, and further widens as he remembers what tonight is: the night of his flight. He does all but click his heels together as he makes his way to the shower.