Chapter 62

When she revived, she was on a couch, with Hayley, Elijah, and Vincent seated beside her.

"Easy there," said Vincent when she tried to sit up. "You had your heart ripped out, don't strain yourself."

Beatrix nodded and lay back. "How did you find me?"

"Locator Spell, surprisingly," said Hayley smoothly. "Freya fed you some things, too. You should rest for the remainder of the night, though."

The Heretic hummed. "So the bitch brought me back. I can't believe it."

"It did," said Elijah, looking mildly amused. "Risky bet you took. But it was efficient in escaping."

"How do you know?" inquired Beatrix.

"Once Freya purified you, I was able to look into your mind. Niklaus and I watched everything you saw since the moment it first infected you."

She made a face. "Well... why isn't Klaus here, then? Don't tell me he's gone off on a killing spree in my honor..."

The three looked around at each other. Beatrix frowned. "What aren't you telling me?"

"He's with Hope," said Hayley, which sounded like the truth, but also a coverup of the real reason. "I'm sure he'll come back soon."

Beatrix brought her hands up to rub her temples, trying to distract herself from wondering why Klaus really wasn't there. "My head still aches."

"The Hollow used quite a bit of power on you," Vincent told her. "Made you see things that honestly... I can't even explain. Elijah showed me the vision of your mother. How it knew all those things..."

"So you saw that we're distantly related?" asked Beatrix. "And that's why it wants me so bad?"

Hayley nodded. "There's something else, too. I was with Mary and... her husband was being controlled by The Hollow. It made him kill my parents. All of this can't be a coincidence."

"Let me guess, we're related too," said Beatrix a bit playfully, trying to diffuse the tension.

"Maybe. There's a few things I want to investigate before we make any assumptions. What we do know is that The Hollow wants you, but is simultaneously trying to kill Hope. If we were even distantly related, it wouldn't make sense."

"There's a lot still left to uncover," murmured Beatrix. She coughed slightly, and Vincent patted her forehead with a damp towel.

"Try to rest," he instructed. "Today has been strenuous for everyone."

Beatrix made a face. "What happened while I was gone?"

Elijah pursed his lips. "Niklaus and Marcel tried to kill each other, due to The Hollow's influence."

The Heretic's eyes widened. "Are they okay? What happened?"

"They're purified and safe. Niklaus is with his daughter. Marcel, well... we put him downstairs in the dungeons where he had chained my brother. For safety."

"So he's your prisoner now," Beatrix muttered, looking disappointed.

"Not at all," responded Elijah. "I have no intent of harming him unless he attempts to harm any of the members of our family. We merely wish to secure him so that The Hollow cannot goad him into killing my brother. It wants a powerful sacrifice, and those two are about as powerful as it gets."

Beatrix didn't look pleased. "I'd like to speak to Elijah alone, if Klaus isn't going to join us."

Hayley and Vincent both nodded respectfully. "I'll go check on Hope," said Hayley as Vincent waved and left the building entirely.

Elijah leaned back in his chair. "My dear Itza, I don't wish to harm him. I merely want to keep us all safe. Marcel is included in that. Down there, nothing can touch him."

"How did you really find me?" she demanded. "And why is Klaus really not down here?"

Elijah sighed. "Niklaus and Marcel found you. The Hollow lured them to you. It made each of them see visions that the other had killed you, to make them angry enough to attack each other. We barely managed to prevent their deaths. We thought you were dead, and we brought you back here. I admit, we were a bit of a mess. Freya had to trap Niklaus in his room with a barrier spell so that he wouldn't do something rash. But Vincent soon realized that you were regrowing your heart. He let it grow and then aided Freya in purifying your body. It took several hours, but you are awake now."

"Does Klaus not know I'm alive?" she asked incredulously.

"He is aware. We made sure to tell him. He came down so that we could see into your mind."

"Well, why wasn't he here when I woke up?"

Elijah drummed his fingers against his own leg. "We saw the visions it showed you. Past moments when Niklaus acted very violently toward you. We saw how it showed you that Heretic boy."

"Let me guess," she murmured, her voice shaky. "He got jealous."

"I believe he felt guilty."

"Kai's death wasn't even his fault! As for the visions— look, I can't exactly forget that all of you have hurt me before. Rebekah and Kol have each beaten me up in the past over misunderstandings. You almost tore my heart out that time that I didn't want to put my magic back. And Klaus—"

"—is aware that he has been most aggressive with you. All of us know how gracious you are to forgive us after such actions. You have helped us through dark times and not held anything against us. You have seen the darkest parts of me and yet, still treat me with respect. We are incredibly grateful for that. You do not judge us for our past actions. You merely help us be better so that they don't happen again, and you support us in such improvements. You made us all be better to those around us.

"Kol used to be uncontrollable. Who helped him start learning to control his blood lust? Who made him feel seen and appreciated? You did. And in that, he found love at last. Rebekah used to be insufferable. Who helped her be humble and simultaneously appreciate her worth? Who helped her realize what she wanted out of life? You did. It helped her feel free and hold a goal that didn't involve embarrassing and tormenting others. Me. I used to unleash often. I used to say and do terrible things. You were the one who went past the Red Door with me and taught me how to be in control and how to strive for better. Without you, none of us would be better people.

"Niklaus, however, seems to only now be realizing the full extent of the harm he's inflicted on you in the past. He used to constantly degrade you. He hit you once, when you disagreed with him. He snarled and nearly killed you because you didn't abide by his rules. He's always been conscious of how he's treated you and others. But until now, he didn't care. He was fine being a monster. Seeing his daughter now, he grows aware of who he used to be, and after seeing how The Hollow showed it to you, he's understanding that he's never once apologized for how he treated you. And he knows that he hasn't done much better. He said, and I quote, 'she deserves much better than me, and it's selfish of me to stay with her when all I've ever done is harm her.' He reverts back to anger each time he is displeased. He believes you to be in constant danger at his side."

"What?" she snapped, feeling tears of frustration brimming in her eyes.

"I don't pretend to understand my brother all the time. But I do sense that he feels paranoid that he will bring your downfall. He always overthinks things, Itza. And now, he wonders often— 'why does she stay with me after everything I've done to her in the past?'"

"B-But I'm not mad at him, Elijah— after all this time, I've forgiven him. He was there for me when I turned off my humanity— he was the one who knew how to get me to turn it back on! Both times that I lost Kai, he helped me work through it, and he was there to comfort me. It reignited all those feelings I thought I'd suppressed from the 1830s because he let me feel vulnerable without judgment and picked me up once I felt better. I can't forget how he made me feel, Elijah. The good and bad. I can brush aside the bad because I know he's trying to be better. Maybe it's because of some sick trauma from my past that I can love someone who did so much wrong, or maybe it's because he deserves to be loved— but I love him regardless. Every part of him. I know he's working to improve, and I value that. Obviously, I won't stand for him to treat me like shit, but he hasn't— he's done every bloody thing to make me feel safe and I couldn't be mad about something like that!"

Elijah looked saddened when he noticed she had started to cry. "I will ask him to come and speak with you, if you would like."

"No," she said immediately, shaking her head. "No. You shouldn't have to tell him to come talk to me. He should come on his own. I-I don't even know what we are specifically— if I'm his girlfriend or just his friend with excessive benefits. But I know for a fact that I am his family, and if he's going to push me aside, he needs to say it to my face."

This was always the problem with Klaus. Beatrix could make the effort to forget the bad things because what mattered most was whether he tried to be better or not. And he was trying, so she allowed herself to forget the violent memories of the past. After all, the day he'd hit her had been centuries ago, when they first met, and it had been after she'd thrown the first punch due to an argument that she had started. She wanted so desperately to see good in him because he was good. He had the potential to be a good man. But time and time again he would push her away even though she had shown him that she loved him. His paranoia always got in the way of their relationship, whether it was as a couple or just friends. He could never let himself forget who he was. He could never forget that initial betrayal of her having helped Marcel and Rebekah sneaking around. He always reverted to that uncertainty and always shoved her aside to protect himself, fearing that losing her would hurt him, though he was really the one causing that loss.

Beatrix began to cry, and Elijah extracted a handkerchief from his pocket before handing it to her. She covered her face with it and sobbed in frustration. Elijah moved closer, to offer comfort, but she motioned for him to stay away.

"Please don't," she managed weakly. "I have a fucking problem, Elijah. I... I go for anyone that gives me any sort of comfort or attention..."

"Itza," he said gently. "Don't criticize yourself."

"I have to! I do have a problem. When I first met Kol, he was so flirty... he comforted me when I was frustrated with you or Klaus for being harsh with Marcel. So I let him be my first. Then later on, I fell for Klaus because he made me feel important. Then you, because you comforted me after what I went through with him. Kai comforted me when you all were bugging me and then, I fell for him. I'm a fucking idiot, Elijah— I go for any man who makes me feel even slightly good about myself. And then I just end up hurt."

Elijah took her hand. "You deserve better than us. None of us treated you like the queen you are. Kol didn't try to be a good friend until the 1900s. Niklaus took you for granted and made you feel oppressed. I pushed you aside and made you feel insecure. Kai made you feel like you had to do cruel things for his affection. We've been bad for you. We hurt you. I want what is best for you, Itza, and I want you to know that you are free to leave us whenever you would like—"

"We're letting her leave now?"

They looked up to see that Klaus had come down. "Niklaus," said Elijah, standing up and letting go of Beatrix's hand. "Nice of you to join us."

Klaus looked livid. "What's this I hear about her leaving?"

"I was merely reminding her that she has the option to go anywhere she chooses," said Elijah. "After all, she is not bound to us in any way. She has freedom, and I am reiterating that it stands so that she may go as she pleases."

Beatrix sat up as Klaus stepped forward. "Do you wish to leave?" he asked lowly.

"Not at this present moment," she said quietly. "What took you so long to get down here?"

"I've been wondering what to say to you, love," said Klaus, clasping his hands together. "You see, Elijah may not have told you, but we saw the conversation you had with Vincent."

Beatrix felt her limbs go rigid. "And?" she whispered.

"And it is the most idiotic thing I've ever heard you say," Klaus snapped. "How can you possibly think of sacrificing yourself?"

"Niklaus, if you've only come to chastise her, I suggest you leave," Elijah said coldly before Beatrix could answer. "She needs her rest."

"She is not about to act rashly, brother! Here you are, reminding her of her freedom— how can you let her go through with it?"

"In case you do not remember, it's a suggestion with an 'if.' She isn't bound to her word. It is her choice. We have suppressed her for far too long. I was reminding her so that she knows that she doesn't need to feel obligated to help us in any way. All we have done is hurt her."

"And now you suddenly care about her?" sneered Klaus. "You're the reason she turned her humanity off in the first place! If you hadn't pushed her aside and made her fall into the arms of that siphon boy and if you hadn't barged in afterwards, when she was grieving—"

Beatrix got to her feet, but almost immediately stumbled back. "Can you stop talking about me as if I'm not right here? What is it with you two? I know you've been having tense little conversations— what the hell is that about?"

"Tell her, Niklaus, or I will," demanded Elijah. "I assure you, she won't stand for it. She should get a say, and you did not wish to give her that option."

Klaus gritted his teeth. "I thought to put you to sleep," he murmured. "To keep you alive long enough to find a solution. Since that day you siphoned from Hope, I've been wondering how to get you to—"

"—he wished to do it without your knowledge," said Elijah in a hard voice. "I attempted to persuade him into telling you, with no luck. He didn't want for you to know, so that you wouldn't protest."

"It would have kept her in a peaceful sleep!" roared Klaus suddenly. "And now here you are, preaching to her about her bloody freedom! She knows she's free, but I will not stand for losing her, Elijah!"

"Brother, she is right in front of us, and she does not feel well. This discussion can be had another time so long as you swear that you will let her weigh in her opinion."

"I will not! She rashly proposed sacrifice and was going to get that bloody witch to keep it a secret from us! She doesn't get to make absurd propositions without consulting us!"

"Brother, let me remind you, she is not an object, she is a person, and as such, gets a very major say in this plan of yours. This should be her decision entirely!"

Beatrix held her hand up to keep Klaus from retorting. "So that's it, then?" she said coldly. "You wanted to put me to sleep at some random moment? And when you realized I was still alive and saw what I had seen, you sought to pull away from me so that I could what— be safe?"

"You are in danger every time you step out of this bloody Compound!" snarled Klaus. "I won't let you get hurt because of me!"

"Which is why I reminded her, brother, that she is free to go," Elijah cut in. "She does not wish to be through with you. A civil conversation is needed and you were going to make all the decisions for the both of you!"

"It's always been like that and she knows it, and she chooses to stay!" Klaus said, making Beatrix flinch. "That bloody spirit showed her all the bad things about me— she knows perfectly well that Klaus Mikaelson does not give others a say in such matters!"

Beatrix glared at him. "And what the hell is that supposed to mean? Are you insinuating that I'm too weak and impulsive and stupid to make decisions on my own? Klaus, you may doubt all of this, but I care a lot about you, dark parts and all, and I expect to be treated with the same respect—"

"How can I do that when you're prancing about and suggesting that you sacrifice yourself?" he spat in her face, seizing her by the shoulders. "How are the rest of us to feel?"

"Niklaus!" Elijah yanked him off of her. "It is her choice— everything should be her choice! She has free will, and we do not control her!"

"Yes, thank you, Elijah!" said Beatrix shakily. "Klaus, I love you, but I don't want you just making decisions without me—"

"I don't want to bloody lose you!" he spat, shoving Elijah aside.

Beatrix stared up into his eyes. She was still crying. "You're going to lose me if you keep letting your anger overcome you. You're going to lose me if you don't let me make choices for myself. I choose every damn day to stay here even though I know that I'm free to leave. You're all my family and I will not abandon Hope or Hayley. The rest of you can get along just fine without me, I know that, but I care about all of you and don't wish to be anywhere else that's not with you. I can't let you all fight The Hollow without me. It wants me. We can use that to our advantage. We just have to be patient and to learn about how it works. The things it showed me— yes, Klaus, it tried to bring up memories of you hurting me, but can't you understand that I'm trying hard to look past that because you're trying to improve?"

"That's the bloody problem, isn't it?" he said. "I can't improve. All I will do is hurt you. So let me keep you safe while we work all of this out— let us keep you from having to make a sacrifice."

"The point isn't the stupid sacrifice! It's just a precaution— a last attempt to get rid of this thing! I didn't want you to know because I knew you'd stop me. Please, don't drive a wedge between us because you're paranoid that you're going to hurt me. You hurt me when you suppress me. When you try to control everything and don't let me choose what I want to do."

"If that's how you feel, then the wedge has been driven," Klaus snapped.

Elijah let out a loud sigh of annoyance and turned away, frustrated, as Beatrix and Klaus just looked at each other. Hurt. Anger. Pain. Betrayal. Sadness.

Beatrix thought that he was better. She really did. He was doing his best for his little girl, and she had fallen in love with him all over again. But The Hollow had been right to show her those memories that she'd pushed aside. He was never really going to change. He was always going to try to impose himself on others to do what he wanted, whether those people liked it or not.

"Is that it, then?" Beatrix whispered, beginning to cry all over again. "Are we done, Klaus?"

He gazed at her with longing, but he didn't respond. She gulped and nodded slowly. "Fine," she said, sinking back onto the couch. "Fine..."

"I don't want to hurt you anymore," whispered Klaus. "We can't..."

She started to sob audibly, covering her face. Klaus moved to comfort her, but Elijah motioned for him to step away.

"I-I thought this time would be d-different," she managed hoarsely as she sobbed into her palms. "I thought..."

"You thought wrong, love," Klaus murmured. "I want... more than anything... to be the man you deserve, but I will never be that. You have been through too much and you deserve so much better."

She gulped and struggled to catch her breath. "Are we t-to just be f-friends again? Seriously?"

This was the cycle. They'd be friends. Be a couple. Be enemies. Be friends again. It was unending and Beatrix knew she should have strived for more, but she simply couldn't detach herself from the Mikaelsons after all this time. They were her family, in the end, and she would give her life for them without hesitation. No matter how much they hurt her, she always found her way back.

Klaus bit his lip. "If you wish, love. If not..."

She stood up and brushed past him angrily.