Chapter 8

As usual, Beatrix was not happy to see Kai.

"I thought you were going to stay in the store," murmured Beatrix.

"Yeah, I was, but then I had another idea. Wasn't a bad thing I came out, either. Now we know what year it is out there. Took them long enough to discuss that." He leaned onto Beatrix. "Do me a favor, Trixter. Make me visible for a few seconds. I'll speed past behind that truck over there, have them both clearly see me. Then you can go put another quarter into the merry-go-round. We'll get their attention back to the store. Then, you'll drop the spell on me again, for good. You'll be on standby if I'm in imminent danger— we don't want them to know yet that neither you or I can die. Now, I have a little addition... I want you to knock me out. Help them a little bit. Let them think they're in control. They might torture us... but we'll act casual. Let me lead the conversation."

Beatrix gritted her teeth. "Fine. But only because I know you'll leave me behind otherwise."

He dared to press a kiss on her cheek. "Good girl. Now, the few seconds." He jogged back near the truck he'd been pointing at. She waved her hand, releasing the spell momentarily as he sped past to hide behind the tarp on the truck. Both Bonnie and Damon caught the movement.

"Did you just see that?" Bonnie asked, looking mildly anxious.

"I did that time," Damon confirmed when Kai sped past again, an indiscernible blur. "Let's go meet our little friend."

Just as the two made their way to the truck, Beatrix resumed the spell. A now invisible Kai clapped and went into the store. Beatrix released the spell on him once more, as he was now hidden inside.

Bonnie and Damon, meanwhile, were confused because now, no one was there. "It was behind the pickup," Beatrix heard Bonnie tell the vampire beside her.

"No. It was in the front," Damon argued.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Absolutely I'm sure. It was right there."

The tarp on the truck fluttered in front of them, and both Damon and Bonnie looked crestfallen. Beatrix took the time to go and pop another quarter, turning the carousel back on.

That just gave rise to another argument. Clearly, Damon was convinced that this was all just coincidental and that they really were alone. Bonnie was insistent that they needed to be hopeful— that this definitely meant that someone else was in there with them. Beatrix just rolled her eyes and went into the store, where she found Kai already munching on pork rinds in the wine section, seated comfortably on some patio furniture.

"They're arguing again," said Beatrix. "Damon most likely will come in."

"Good. You turned all the bourbon to vervain, yes?"

"Yes."

Kai smirked. "Now, stay quiet. He'll be in here soon."

Right on schedule. Damon, looking incredibly displeased with life, came down the aisle, looking for a particular bottle of bourbon. There was a moment when Beatrix thought he might be too angry to register any sound, but soon, she saw the twitch in his face when he heard the incessant crunching of Kai enjoying pork rinds.

He moved forward slowly, and only stopped when he saw Kai, lounged back. Thankfully, Kai had allowed Beatrix to cut his hair, so he looked somewhat presentable.

"Rough day, huh, Damon?" Kai spoke up, making Damon's eyes widen, as if he previously thought he'd been hallucinating. "Sorry. Manners. I'm Kai— nice to meet you." He tilted the opening of the bag toward him. "Pork rind?"

Even with the smirk on Kai's face, Damon didn't seem about to be friendly. He just stared at the bag, not knowing how to react, so Kai took the opportunity to pluck out two pieces for himself and munch on them. Loudly.

"That is gonna have to stop," Damon said sharply.

Kai grinned. "Oh, you think this is annoying? Hmm. Try listening to you and Bonnie bicker every five minutes."

"So you've been following us," deduced Damon.

"Of course I have. You two are the closest thing I have a to a TV. I mean, you're no 'Baywatch,' but..." he paused and laughed. "Remember 'Baywatch?'"

Beatrix recalled back when Kai used to tell her similar things. Whenever she wasn't telling him her life story, he was ranting on and on about shows and movies like Baywatch and The Karate Kid.

"No, I do not," Damon responded.

Kai seemed almost disappointed. "Oh. Oh, man, you got to watch it. You like lifeguards, like... Hot ones?" he winked, but Damon wasn't fazed.

"This has been a monumentally bad day in a sea of bad days, so I'm gonna need to know who you are, what you're doing here, and how it relates to me, or I'm gonna rip your throat out," he said all in one breath, making Beatrix chuckle.

Kai's expression became serious. "Temper's gonna get you in trouble, Damon. It's already driven Bonnie away how many times? Oh, oh, oh, wait. I know. Thirteen."

Damon made a face. "You think my temper's bad with her? I like her. You, not so much."

Within a second, Damon had sped forward and yanked Kai up by the collar. Kai held his hands up in surrender and pretended to apologize. "Okay, okay. Sorry. Seriously. I'm just kind of rusty on the face-to-face type human interactions."

Damon dropped him roughly on the ground. "Answers now."

"Maybe you should have a drink," Kai offered as he straightened up. "That usually calms you down." Beatrix was surprised that Damon hadn't found that suspicious at all. He had simply thanked Kai half-heartedly and gone for a bottle of vervain, opening up.

Kai was still speaking. "...then makes you angry, then sad, then calm again. It's a weird cycle, and look, if you really want to know the reason I'm following you..." he took a dramatic pause as Damon took a swig of bourbon, "it's because I want to kill you."

Beatrix had to admit, the timing of that was impeccable. Damon coughed out the bourbon, grunting in pain as the skin around his mouth began to burn, forming reddish sores and causing him to spit out blood.

Kai looked overjoyed."Vervain in your bourbon. Who didn't see that one coming?" He turned around and picked up the beach umbrella behind where he'd been sitting. "Anyway... tell me, who buys patio furniture from a grocery store? I mean, somebody must. Otherwise, it... it wouldn't be here." He snapped the umbrella stand in half, discarding the longer piece and keeping the part that actually expanded. "Now, a stake in the heart should do it, right?"

Damon tried to lunge forward, though still on the ground, and Kai quickly stabbed the wooden part of the umbrella into his hand, making Damon yell out. "You can always fight dirty, Damon," Kai mused, twisting the wood into the back of his hand and making the vampire on the ground roar from the searing discomfort. "Like that time you and Bonnie played monopoly and you stole from the bank. Not cool."

Beatrix was impressed when Damon managed to free his hand. He stood, glaring murderously at Kai. "I'm gonna rip your head off," he snarled.

Kai shouldered the umbrella like a baseball bat. "No. You're not." He swung, breaking through all the bottles on the third shelf and splashing the vervain on Damon. He yelled and crumpled down, his skin completely red. "I didn't know which bottle you'd take, so I made sure all of them had vervain in them." He brought the umbrella back into a proper hold, moving forward like he was going to stake Damon.

"Stay away from him."

Bonnie had arrived, and she looked thoroughly pissed. Kai chose to taunt her even more.

"The useless one is here," he chuckled. "Thank God. I've watched you try to do magic for months now. What are you gonna do, fail at me? It's embarrassing. I'm embarrassed for you."

Damon and Bonnie shared a look. Beatrix could sense how emotional Bonnie was getting. Despite how infuriating Damon was, he was still her friend, and she didn't want him to be killed. She turned to one of the many candles on the rack, and suddenly, the wick was lit.

"Uh oh," Kai said. Bonnie looked down at Damon. "Run."

He disappeared, and Bonnie stepped forward, smirking proudly. "Phesmatos Incendia."

Kai immediately leapt back to avoid being stung by the flames that appeared. "Okay, okay, okay," he said quickly, as if wanting to convince Bonnie that he was actually scared.

"Giving up so soon?" she taunted. "I'm embarrassed for you."

Beatrix hated to be a killjoy, especially when Bonnie looked so satisfied. But just as she finished her sentence, she made herself visible, causing the ring of fire around Kai to vanish. Bonnie stepped back, clearly not having been expecting that.

Kai grinned wickedly. "Did I forget to mention I also have a witch on my side?" he purred.

"Okay, I admit, this was kind of fun," Beatrix said, making him let out a triumphant laugh. "But it's my turn now." She then snapped her fingers, and he crumpled to the floor. Bonnie took another step back, not sure whether to attack or not.

"Don't worry, darling, I'm not going to try and kill you," Beatrix said, taking one slight step forward. "I just want to—"

She hadn't been expecting Damon to knock her out from behind.

_

When she woke up, she found herself and Kai tied up in chairs. Kai's hands were taped down just at the wrists, but hers were completely covered, making it very uncomfortable. She tried to move them, and couldn't.

Kai looked up as he, too, regained consciousness. He looked over at Beatrix, then at Damon, who was towering over them, holding a fireplace poker and Kai's bag of pork rinds. "You're both awake. Good. Now for the Q&A portion of the evening."

"Q&A while we're tied up?" groaned Beatrix. "I didn't know all four of us were into bondage..."

Kai smirked, rolling his eyes at her comment. "Let's guess... we answer right, we get a pork rind. Wrong, we get a poker."

"What? No, no, no." Damon put the bag of pork rinds behind his back. "These are for me. You both just get the poker." For effect, he pressed the poker onto Kai's chest.

"Yeah. You don't have to do that," said Kai. "We're on the same team."

Bonnie, who'd been standing behind them, apparently, came forward. "Really? Do you always try and kill your teammates?"

"For the record, that was his idea," Beatrix said with a cheeky grin. "I suggested from the start that I just reteach you magic in my own way."

Kai drew the attention back to himself. "Either way, the important thing is that you have your magic back. It worked. What, you... you didn't really think I'd kill Damon, did you?" He chuckled as Damon and Bonnie shared an awkward look. "In what universe does that make sense? Who would kill one fourth of our population? I'm not a monster. I knew Bonnie would show up. She always comes back, all thirteen times, and I knew with the right motivation she'd be able to access her magic, although I-I did get a little worried with all your bickering that Damon's life wouldn't be enough motivation, but turns out it was. I guess that's just how you two show your love."

Bonnie raised an eyebrow. "So you did all that just to make sure I would have my magic?"

"Of course we did," Kai said, grinning. "Because your magic is the key to getting the hell out of here."

Damon paused for a bit, thinking his words over, before putting the poker against Beatrix's chest. "You seem like you'll actually talk," he said. "Now, who are you?"

"Ignore her," Kai said before Beatrix could answer. "Let me guess, you want to know how to get out? I need a few things first." He looked directly at Bonnie, who was staring curiously at Beatrix, as if sensing something was off about her. "You. Get me a can opener, a shower drain, a grinding wheel, some jam, a pocket knife, volume 'O' of the encyclopedia, a nail, and a black marker. Pronto."

Albeit confused, Bonnie left. Kai looked smug as he turned back to Damon. "We'll talk in the morning, yeah? How about you go to sleep now. We'll still be here. I want those supplies before I start to talk."

Damon gritted his teeth and kicked Kai's chair before following Bonnie out. Kai's eyes then darkened, and he turned to Beatrix. "Stay still and shut up," he snarled. "I want to lead this. Don't even think about speaking to them, not until I give you permission."

She growled but didn't retort. She had no energy for this.

They were quite unfortunately left tied up the entire night. Beatrix had to deal with Kai snoring in her ear the entire time. She simply couldn't sleep with that posture.

Damon had come early the next morning, stating that Bonnie was nearly done gathering the supplies. He didn't remove the tape. He sat across from them with a bottle of bourbon, staring intently. "It's morning. She'll be back soon. Now, how do we get out of here?"

Kai paused as if to think. "We asked ourselves that question for a long time. I remember at one point, we were really thinking about it, and considering every part of the world as like, a basis. So we thought, hey, this is a bit of an existential crisis. Let's go visit Washington D.C. for inspiration. Beatrix said it was nice, and I'd never been. We drove and got to the White House for a nice personalized tour. And, of course, we broke into the Oval Office and Beatrix took a picture of me at the window, looking all JFK. A series of pictures, really, they looked super good. But then, I was like, 'Wait— how am I going to get these developed?' And then—"

Damon let out an exasperated groan. "Oh my god, just answer the damn question. How are we going to get out of this Twilight Zone?"

Kai seemed pleased to be aggravating him further. "I got a question for you, first. Why do you think we're stuck on a repeating loop of May 10, 1994? Doomed to relive a solar eclipse forever and ever, and ever?"

"How the hell should I know?" Damon said, taking a swig of the bourbon bottle next to him.

"Well, I heard you tell Bonnie this place was your own personal hell. I'm kinda curious why."

Just then, Bonnie came into the room holding a backpack. "I found everything you asked for," she announced, dumping the contents of the bag on top of the table between them. "Now what?"

"Can't show you with my hands taped," Kai said smartly. "Feel free to leave Beatrix restrained, though."

Damon didn't seem to eager to release Kai, but he and Bonnie seemed to silently agree that releasing Kai wouldn't be as bad as releasing Beatrix. If only they knew. Bonnie extracted a pocket knife and cut off the tape, making Kai smirk and thank her, rubbing his wrists and leaning over to the pile.

"Okay. Fine," Damon huffed. "How is this pile of crap going to get us out of here?"

"I'll explain..." promised Kai, "as soon as you tell me what you did on May 10, 1994."

This was frustrating for Damon. It seemed like it was the last thing he wanted to talk about. "What difference does it make!?"

"Let me put it this way," said Kai. "Bonnie's magic is one part of the equation. My as-yet undisclosed knowledge is the other. Beatrix is useful in other ways. Which means you would be hitching a ride home for free. I just want to know if you deserve to come along."

Damon stormed over and yanked Kai up into the air, snatching the pocket knife from Bonnie and pressing it against the sociopath's neck. "Or, I could just torture you until you say something useful," he growled.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," blurted Beatrix flatly. "He's not going to be of any use if he's pissed off."

Reluctantly, Damon dropped Kai and the knife. "Play nice," Bonnie said sternly as Kai snickered appreciatively.

"Stop trying to impress the new guy," Damon hissed back at her.

"Well, why don't you just tell them your story?"

"Maybe because I don't want to talk about the worst thing I ever did, Bonnie!"

Kai smirked and popped open a jar of jam. "Ooh, now I'm listening." He dug his fingers into the jam and licked them clean, making Beatrix groan and shake her head.

Beatrix could care less. Either way, Damon didn't start talking. He stormed out, and Bonnie followed. "It's a terrible coincidence that his worst thing happened on the same day we got imprisoned here," Beatrix said. "Now, can you untie me? The pocketknife is right there. I think Bonnie might have spelled the tape down, so maybe you could siphon it a bit, too."

"Patience, Trixter," Kai said with a smug grin as he devoured the jam on his fingers. "We're taking this slowly."

"It wouldn't be detrimental if you released me! I wouldn't even try to do magic!"

"Does it look like I care? You'll stay there until they deem it fit to release you. We're in phase two. Let's let him tell us his evil thing. Either way, I probably won't want him to come along."

Beatrix growled angrily as Kai kept fiddling with the objects Bonnie had brought him. About twenty minutes later, Damon and Bonnie returned. The Salvatore man went to stand at the fireplace, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration.

"Hey, I need to be entertained while I work," Kai prompted, laying back on the couch and moving a the can opener around the jam lid's edge. "Hell story, please," he coaxed in a sing song voice.

"Remind me not to kill him," Damon growled to Bonnie.

"Maybe telling him your story will take your mind off of it," the witch suggested.

Damon stared at her incredulously. "Whose side are you on?"

"The side where we get to go home to the people we love?"

There was a silence, and Damon finally exhaled harshly through his nostrils. "Fine. On May 9, 1994, I was living here. I'd come home to walk the straight and narrow...."

Beatrix tuned out, honestly. She did catch a few snippets, about his brother Stefan, and some family member named Zach, who had a girlfriend named Gail and a baby on the way... something about needing to feed. She related, at least, to that. Sometimes it was excessively hard to hold back urges.

At one point, she was surprised to hear snoring. She came out of her zoned out state to see Kai pretending to snore on the couch, before Damon could continue the rest of his story. She knew he was faking it— he didn't snore that softly. He sounded more like a bulldozer.

"Perfect," Damon hissed when he noticed. "Our savior's insane, with a witch at his beck and call, and he's narcoleptic."

Beatrix had frowned, and Kai had opened his eyes. "No, no, no, I'm awake. Let me guess, you killed the pregnant woman."

"Shut up, Kai, you weren't listening," said Damon.

"I deduced the same thing," mumbled Beatrix under her breath. Only Bonnie heard her, because Kai had kept Damon's attention on him.

"I was listening, in my sleep," he said. "You were hanging out with your distant-nephew Zach, who you called Uncle Zach, because that's not confusing. Plus, pregnant lady Gail, who had a big bull's-eye on her chest. Got it."

Bonnie looked away from Beatrix, and turned to Damon, a worried expression on her face. "Tell me you didn't kill a pregnant woman."

Kai grinned. "Oh, that's totally what happened. Why else would today be his personal hell? Oh... here we go..."

Damon had clearly had enough. He kneeled in front of Kai, glaring at him. "The only reason that you're alive right now is because I thought you could get us out of here and you could help us. But you don't HAVE any answers! You're just a man-child—" he threw the jar of jam across the room "with jam on your fingers!" He turned back to Beatrix. "Now, are you going to be of any use or am I going to have to rip your heart out?"

"She can answer this," said Kai sweetly. "Why don't you tell them how to get home, Trixter?"

All rehearsed. They had to pretend they didn't have the Ascendant.

"See that thing he made with all those random parts you brought him?" said Beatrix boredly, nodding to the Ascendant model Kai had made. "To get out of here, we need to use the real version of that, called an Ascendant, to harness the power of the eclipse. It used to belong to his family, and it was in Oregon, last we heard."

"Here's a little blood to get you started on that," Kai said, slitting the tip of his finger with the pocket knife. "Now, all we need is a locator spell to pinpoint its whereabouts."

"Why didn't she do this for you before?" said Damon, pointing at Beatrix. "She's a witch."

"Doesn't work like that," said Kai. "It needs to be done by a Bennett witch. Trix here is a distant Claire witch, and part Mayan witch, whatever you want to call it. Not the witch needed for this particular step." He looked up at Bonnie. "So, it falls on you."

Albeit skeptical, Damon turned to Bonnie. "Think you can find our ticket out of here, Bon-Bon?"

Bonnie nodded. "Hell yeah." But before doing anything, she turned to Beatrix, and wove her hands, making the tape come off.

"Why did you do that?" Damon said immediately, as if Bonnie were insane.

"She's not going to do anything," answered Bonnie confidently. "She hasn't tried to fight her way out of it. Besides, even if she can't do the spell by herself, she can help me."

The smile that the Bennett witch offered Beatrix made her feel slightly hopeful again.