- Chapter 24 -

March 7

A bright light fills the room, I slowly open my eyes. Although my eyes keep falling shut against the bright sunlight coming down on my face, which is penetrating the room via a big open window on my right side. I blink a few times to adjust to the bright light before taking my surroundings in. I look next to me and see an unfamiliar small table standing next to the bed I'm currently laying in. A thick book and a vial containing a certain black potion covering the surface of it. What the? I think, not being able to recognize the nightstand. I then look at the covers I'm currently laying under, which are fully black. That's weird, mine is green... I think to myself but then suddenly realization hits when flashes of last night start creeping back into my mind. I quickly look under the covers, thankfully I'm still wearing clothes. My outfit from last night is nowhere to be seen though, instead, I'm wearing a big oversized black t-shirt.

I bring myself to sit upright and take in my surroundings. The bed is standing in a small circular room which is connected to a bigger room. A closet is standing to my right side, right beside the window. In what I assume is the main room I see a fire roaring in a fireplace at the far right of the room, a big black couch is placed in front of it with two matching armchairs standing beside it. In between two doors, doors that must lead to the bathroom and to the corridor, is standing a big wooden bookcase which is filled with books and clutter.

On the other side of the small room some cabinets, countertops, an oven, and a fridge make up the kitchen which is covering the full left wall. All sorts of shelves fill up the walls next to the kitchen, ingredients in bottles are scattered all over the shelves. A small table with two chairs is located in front of the kitchen, with just enough space left to walk between the two. I now notice a figure sitting in one of the chairs, his back to me. Severus.

I can't believe what I'm seeing. I'm in Severus Snape's sleeping quarters? What in god's name am I doing here. Oh right... I was drunk. But still, he could've just brought me to the infirmary, which wouldn't have been very beneficial for me but still. He could've also just brought me to my dorm, I know that teachers can access both dorms whether male or female. Maybe he didn't want to wake up my roommates, or maybe he just wanted an excuse?

My mind is going all over the place when I suddenly get pulled back to my current reality. Which is in Severus' sleeping quarters... I'm dreaming, I must be.

"Good, you're awake," He has now moved from the table to the kitchen, he appears to be cooking something which smells delicious might I add.

I blink a few times again to make sure that I'm actually here, and not still sleeping. But when my view doesn't change I accept that it must really be and I make my legs move towards the side of the bed. I appear to have slept on the right side of the bed, the left side appears to be unslept in. I wonder where he has slept..?

I shake the thought away before climbing out of the bed and heading toward the kitchen, thankfully the t-shirt I'm wearing covers everything and is nearly hanging on my knees. I did not think Severus was the person to have t-shirts. How peculiar.

I take a seat while watching Severus cook intently. His moves are so natural, I could watch him do this all day if I had the option. It's kind of sexy seeing him do this muggle stuff. I get pulled back to reality when Severus suddenly turns around and places a plate in front of me, which is covered in bacon and eggs, before taking the seat in front of me. His expression looks quite serious, the usual coldness that covers his face is gone.

"We need to talk,"

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I swallow the liquid, some pumpkin juice Severus put in front of me, that was flowing in my mouth as to not choke on it. I give him a confused look. "About what?" I ask, trying to make my voice sound as innocent as possible. I know he wants to talk about last night, about the fact that I was so drunk I barely could keep myself standing. He is a teacher after all and I violated more than one school rule yesterday. And not to mention the part about me sleeping in his sleeping quarters, although I doubt he wants to mention that since I still haven't thought of a good reason for him to let me stay here which doesn't involve an emotional action on his part.

He is now leaning against one of the kitchen counters, watching me as I try to keep my food inside which I have now put aside. His cold demeanor is in place again, and he looks at me as if deep in thought. As if he is almost trying to read my thoughts. Goosebumps start to spread on my body

"You can't do that anymore," He says after a few minutes, his voice as cold and emotionless as his demeanor.

"Do what?" I ask while batting my eyelashes at him, I won't give in this easily. If I can avoid the detention, I will.

"Get drunk, act like that," He answers. I look at him, his face doesn't give anything away to what he is feeling, nor does his stance. I can't tell if he is concerned for me as a teacher or as more. If he doesn't want me to because I violated the rules or because he doesn't want me to get hurt. It's irritating me. I want to know, I need to know. I want him to tell me that I mean more to him than just some ordinary student because I see him as more than an ordinary teacher. God, I love him. I didn't even realize it but I do, I can't imagine not having him in my life. I'm so stupid.

"Why not, I can do what I want can't I," I state. Maybe I shouldn't challenge him like this but I can't help it. I need to know, I need him to react for him to show his emotions.

His stance immediately stiffens, and he stops leaning against the kitchen counter. While balling his fists he makes his way over to me and I quickly get up. His eyes watching me narrowly.

"No you cannot damn it," He says while slamming his fist on the small table.

I cross my arms, trying to come over as defiant as possible. I'm already getting on his nerves, I just need to continue for a little bit. "And why not?" I ask.

"It's against school rules Eva, and you know it!" He says, his voice getting increasingly louder.

"And you know that I don't give a damn about school rules," I state.

He gives me an annoying look before running his hand through his hair. I can see he is struggling with something.

"Yes, you have made that pretty clear," He says, his voice slowly going back to its normal volume.

"Then why do you think this time it would be any different?" I ask, genuine curiosity taking over my voice.

"Because..." He says but then stops. He breathes in deeply before continuing. "Because I don't want you getting drunk like that anymore," He says with the emphasis on the I part.

"Why would you care?"

He pinches the bridge of his nose while looking away from me. I can see that he is clearly extremely uncomfortable and annoyed with this situation.

"Because I care damn it," He yells.

I look up at him, he is breathing heavily and his eyes are fixed on me. I open my mouth to say something but before I can continue he presses his lips on mine. I almost lose my footing because of the force but manage to keep myself upright and I quickly wrap my arms around his neck. He pulls me closer by my hips to deepen the kiss. I get lost in the moment, completely lost of all thoughts that were going through my head. I am only focussing on him. The way his tongue brushes mine, the way his hands caress my hips, and the way his hair feels in my hands. I want to drag him to the bed and give in to him, give him my all. But I can't. I can't let this go on this way. I need answers.

With that thought, I manage to pull myself back from him. He looks at me, surprise clearly visible in his eyes but something else is visible in them too. Angst maybe, or regret? I can't be sure. I get myself to my normal breathing rhythm after a few seconds before I speak. ''Then why don't you show it?'' I ask my voice barely a whisper. His hands are still on my back so we are only a few inches apart. I know he has heard me because I can feel him stiffen under my hands.

"I- I can't" He answers after a few minutes.

"Yes you can," I quickly respond defiantly.

He then turns to look at me. I still because of what I now see. I see pain, actual raw pain floating through his eyes.

"I can't risk it, I can't put your life in danger, I could never be enough for you. You can't fix this Eva, you can't fix me." He says, his voice lacks his normal confidence. Confidence that makes people run out of his way, confidence that makes people do whatever he wants, confidence that earned him his reputation. Confidence that hid the brokenness.

"Damn it, Severus, can't you see that I don't fucking care?" I say while cupping his face with my hand. "I don't know what it is that I'm feeling, but I do know that I don't want it to stop. I want you, Severus, I need you. I don't want fear ruining this, I am yours. And I will fight. I will fight until the end. As long as I have you by my side, I don't care what I have to face. Whatever obstacles I have to concur, I will do it gladly. If you'd just give me the chance,"

We say nothing for a few minutes, just looking into each other's eyes. I don't know what he is looking for but I think he found it because he then leans in and kisses me. Kisses me in a way he has never kissed me before, gentle as if I can break with the slightest touch. A kiss telling me what I hoped for, what I dreamed of, what I needed. A kiss telling me that I'm his, and he is mine.

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Gosh, I've waited so long for this chapter (to write) and I'm so happy with it hehe. If u want to leave a comment or say anything please do, id love it:)

Love, Irs