Thirty-Seven

"Wow, so we're really gonna live the suburban life, huh?" Tommy asked as he stared at their Wayne-bought house from the neighborhood street.

"Like Gotham has a suburban life," Andy scoffed back.

"You know what I mean," Tommy replied, rolling his eyes. "Neither of us has lived anything close to a suburban life, let alone Maddie."

"I'm sure we'll enjoy it. You know, become cliché gay dads wearing sweater vests and shit," Andy teased.

"Speak for yourself," Tom laughed.

"Whatever," Andy sighed. "Let's just go check it out."

With that, he and his boyfriend stepped out of their car—the one they'd actually obtained on their own—and approached the house. Tommy lifted up the potted plant on the porch, and just as Bruce said, there was a key beneath it. He picked up this key and stuck it in the front door, pushing it inward and open.

The house wasn't furnished yet, but according to Bruce, furniture was supposed to be delivered and set up later that day. Even with without that, the house was impressive—the lack of furnishings just made it look more spacious. Of course, it was by no means a mansion—it only had three bedrooms—but it was far better than the dingy apartment where they'd been living previously.

Andy and Tommy took a self-led tour of the new house and were pleasantly surprised at every turn. The accommodations were far better than they had been expecting given who they used to roll with. But, Andy supposed, it's probably more for Madeline than for us.

"I don't think that it's really set in that we're going to live here yet. We're going to live here, work at Wayne Enterprises, and Maddie is going to be our daughter," Andy said in awe.

"What does he plan on us doing there anyway?" Tommy wondered with furrowed brows.

"Who cares? We'll both have jobs at a reputable company. It could be fucking janitorial work for all I care. At least it'll be real, unbiased work," Andy puffed.

"Alright, alright babe chill out. I was just curious," Tommy defended. "Just like I'm curious about how big our room will be—and our bed."

Andy flushed bright red and leaped out of the embrace Tommy had pulled him into.

"You stop that," Andy scolded breathlessly.

"Make me," Tommy sang.

Rather than risk anything or argue back, Andy darted out of the room and down the hall. Tommy growled playfully and ran after him.

Unluckily for Andy, he ran smack dab into someone as he ran down the hall away from his apparently horny boyfriend. Andy apologized to the man he'd run into, but all the man did was grunt and steady him. The mover went back out to the truck, and it wasn't until he'd already left that Andy realized he'd slipped something into his pocket.

As he pulled out the slip of paper, Tommy came up behind him. "Well that certainly ruins the mood, doesn't it? What does it say?"

"It says, 'when it rings, answer it'," Andy read.

"When what rings?" Tommy couldn't help but ask.

"I've no idea. Some phone somewhere," Andy guessed.

"Alright, well we better clear out anyhow and give the furniture guys some room to work. We can brainstorm some more in the car," Tommy suggested.

"Can we go grab some food? I think better on a full stomach," Andy asked.

"I know, babe," Tom laughed. "Let's go."

The pair went back to their car and climbed in, ignoring the moving van for the most part. They figured that they'd see its contents soon enough. There were bigger mysteries to be solved.

"McDonald's? Really?" Andy asked as they pulled into the parking lot.

"Hey! Our first date was at McDonald's!" Tommy pouted.

Andy just rolled his eyes and climbed out of the car. Tommy followed him out, but refrained from taking his hand. He wasn't stupid, after all.

Once they got inside, they ordered their meals and sat down at one of the tables. For a bit neither said anything as they ate.

"So, about that note. Who do you think it was from?" Tommy asked his partner.

"Obviously not from the guy that gave it to me. I have an answer, but you're not gonna like it," Andy replied.

"Who do you think? Bruce? But I guess he wouldn't be so shady about it," Tommy speculated.

"No," Andy said, leaning forward, continuing in a low whisper. "Joker."

"Shit," Tommy exhaled. "You're right. You have to be right. But how did he know?"

"I don't know, Tom. J knows everything, and he can find anyone. It's not hard to imagine that he'd keep tabs on us," Andy replied.

"We'd better get back to the house," Tommy said.

The two stood and threw away their trash before returning to their car at as normal a pace as they could manage. It was a struggle for Tommy to maintain the speed limit as they drove back to the house.

By the time they got there, the moving van was already gone. There goes confronting that guy...

"Hey," Andy soothed. "Let's just forget about J for now and check out the furniture. Enjoy the moment."

Tommy eventually nodded in agreement and they both reentered the home.

There were tasteful decorations in the living room, which is what the front door opened into. The couches were plush and comfortable looking, but not tacky. The overall feel of the home was comforting and cozy rather than sleek and modern like the mansion had been.

Andy and Tommy consistently got that feeling as they explored the design of the downstairs, and even the master bedroom. As they moved into what they thought would be Maddie's room, they noticed the same theme. The room was very simple, not a touch of anything personal to it. It was brown and beige all over the place. Maybe not Maddie's room then.

The final bedroom threw them both for a loop. The second they opened the door both men staggered back in shock, gasping. They did a double take just to be certain, but sure enough, the room was an exact replica of the one she'd had back at Joker's mansion, complete with all her toys and books, aside from Smiles.

"What the fuck?" Was all either of them could splutter.

"Let's not panic quite yet. The police took pictures of her room as evidence, maybe Bruce recreated it somehow," Andy said unconvincingly.

"I did what?" Bruce asked as he appeared behind them, scaring the bejeezus out of the couple.

"You didn't happen to arrange this, did you?" Tommy asked slowly.

"No, this isn't what I ordered for her at all," Bruce denied, furrowing his eyebrows. "Sure it was pink, but other than that there were no similarities between the two. Maybe there was some sort of mixup?"

Andy and Tommy just shook their heads in fear and disbelief.

"No," Andy replied. "This had to be Joker's doing. This is exactly how her room looked at his hideout."

Bruce's eyes widened. Now that he thought about it, the room did look an awful lot like the photos the police had taken. It was an exact match, even. Joker had to be behind the change.

"Should I arrange for all of this to go and get it changed?" Bruce wondered. Tommy shook his head.

"No. Somehow I feel like if we changed it, he'd find a way to change it back. I don't really want to piss him off for any reason," Tommy replied, lingering his gaze on Andy for a moment.

Andy read the look and understood immediately what Tommy was trying to convey to him. Don't say anything about the note.

Andy nodded in agreement to both statements and Bruce sighed, but he had to agree with them. Even if they did get rid of everything, Joker would find some way to change it all back.

"Alright, well, seeing as everything is set up, I'm going to return home and pick up Madeline and her sparse belongings. I should be back quickly," Bruce said before exiting.

Andy and Tommy shook their heads again and Andy went to the closet door, curious. Just as he'd suspected, all of Madeline's clothes were hanging up there, aside from her training gear and the suit she'd worn at the fair. But all of her other outfits had found their way to her closet.

"Shit," Andy breathed in disbelief. Tommy came up behind him and uttered a similar phrase when he noticed what his boyfriend already had.

"Why don't we forget about all of this for a minute and check out the size of our bed again?" Tommy purred in Andy's ear.

"Bruce said he'd be back soon," Andy protested.

"As if," Tom scoffed. "His mansion is almost on the other side of town. We've got time enough."

With that, he hoisted Andy in his arms and dashed down the hall to their bedroom.

"Looks pretty big to me," Tommy growled before tossing his boyfriend onto the bed.

Just as he moved to crawl on top of him, a phone began ringing, freezing both of them in place. When it rings, answer it.

Andy scrambled out from under Tommy and looked around the room, trying to figure out where the phone was. Finally he decided on the side table and opened the top drawer, where a burner phone sat ringing. He picked up the phone and held it uncertainly in his hand. Tommy held out his hand for it and Andy handed it over gratefully. Tommy flipped open the phone and answered it.

"Hello?" He asked.

"Hello, Thomas. So lovely to hear from you again," the unmistakeable voice of Joker travelled through the speakers. "Is your lovely partner there with you?"

"Yes," Tommy answered shortly, locking eyes with said partner.

"Wonderful. Why don't you put me on speaker then?" Joker suggested, in a tone that said that it was anything but a suggestion.

Tommy hesitated before doing what the maniac asked of him.

"There, it's done. Why are you calling us, Mr. J?" He demanded.

"Such attitude. I'm just curious to know how my two favorite gays are doing without me?" J chuckled.

"We're fine, J, but I think you already knew that," Tommy pointed out.

"Alright, since you wanna cut to the chase so badly I will. I know Madeline is coming to live with you, hence the redecorating. That Bruce guy is pretty boring with his designs. Mine are much better," Joker laughed.

"And do you expect to hide out here with us or something, J? Because that isn't gonna happen. We're not gonna let Maddie slide back into your control again. It almost got her killed the last time," Thomas said coldly. Andy gaped at his boyfriend's boldness.

"I knew there was a reason I liked you Thomas," J chuckled finally. "You're not a pussy like some of my other men. You see, the reason I'm glad it's you two that are going to have her is because I know you actually want what's best for her and you're not going to cave and give her back to me when I ask."

"What?" Andy asked.

"I gave her up for a reason. I'm not crazy, you know," J scoffed. "I know my life will get her killed or worse. But I also know at some point I'm going to cave and want her back. It'll be like withdrawal, or a relapse or some shit. I need to know that when that happens, I'm not actually going to drag her back into this lifestyle. I need to know that you two will tell me off instead of giving in."

"We can do that for you, J," Tommy said after a long silence.

"That's the only thing we can do for you," Andy added.

"Just one more thing. If something goes down with her and she's in danger, I better be the first person you call. Not Batman, and not the fucking police. They're inept dipshits," Joker demanded. "Keep this phone. My number is the only one in it."

"Okay," Andy agreed for them. "If Maddie is in trouble we'll call you. But other than that, this better be the last we hear from you."

"Just one more thing," Joker said. There was a long pause. "Lock the door when you fuck."

With a final cackle, the madman hung up and left them in silence.