Eighteen

Today's the day, Joker decided.

He gathered all his patience and made his way up the staircase. It'd been a couple of days since they'd gotten home from Orlando, and Joker had decided that it was finally time to try again.

Maddie was still sleeping when he gingerly pushed the door open. It swung inward to reveal the preschooler sprawled out on the bed, snoring softly with Smiles tucked under her arm.

The corners of Joker's lips twitched up as he suppressed a smile. You really think that girl is gonna be able to do anything? She's already proved her weakness. What makes you think she'll ever be up for what you want her to do?

She's not weak, was all he countered with.

He tuned out the ruckus as best he could and sat down on the side of the bed next to Madeline's sleeping form. He reached out and began to gently shake her awake.

She woke up surprisingly easier than the very first time Joker had tried. Maddie rolled over groggily and blinked open her eyes, rubbing at them grumpily.

She grunted when she realized that she wasn't alone, glancing up to discover the face of the intruder. Her expression warmed immensely when she recognized the man sitting on her bed.

"Daddy!" She greeted sleepily.

"Hey there princess," he smiled. "Are you ready to start training again?"

Madeline's smile fell. The training led to the fair—which led to her disappointing her daddy which led to her getting hit. She didn't want to be hit again. But more importantly, she didn't want to disappoint her daddy again. But won't he be disappointed if I don't train anymore or at least try?

She was stuck, and Joker could see that. J could see the hesitation in her eyes, the fear. He knew that she didn't want to go down that road again. But she had to—and they both knew it.

"I thought maybe you'd like to learn how to use a bow. Like that, uh, princess. What's her name, Muriel, Meredith?" J coaxed.

"Merida," Maddie corrected.

"Yeah! That one, with the face and the, uh, hair," Joker laughed. "So whaddya say, doll, you wanna be a badass princess?"

Madeline sat there a long moment, but saw no way around starting training again. Who knows how he'd react to her refusal, especially after he'd just treated her to Disney World.

"Sure," she finally breathed. The reluctance in her tone and stance did not go unnoticed in the slightest.

If he was being honest, her distrust rather disheartened him. However much that Joker would like to pretend that nothing affects him, it would be a lie. He'd always been very protective of what was his, seeing as his toys were his property and therefore an extension of him, so anyone who tried to take them would be dealt with accordingly. But no matter how much he wished it wasn't true, Madeline was no longer just a toy to Joker. That's why he felt so tense around her and tried to stay away, and that's why the voices were so adamant that she had to die, or at least go away.

The unspoken sentiment remained that what Joker felt for Madeline was almost worse than love. When he looked at her he couldn't help but think, You make me weak. The resentment he felt then was so great that he was concerned that he'd lash out at her, demanding to know how she'd broken him. How'd you do it huh?! What have you fucking done to me?! I used to not give a shit about anyone, and now look at me! You've made me fucking pathetic!

But it was too late now. He was in too deep. There was no escape. You can't run from yourself. There's nowhere you can hide from your feelings. Or the truth. They're really the same thing anyway.

The worst part was that Madeline wasn't even blindly devoted to him. Here he was, fucking crippled by his inability to kill one little girl that refused to kill for him. There was no real justification for keeping her around, no excuse that he could tell himself—or the voices, the actual problem in all of this. If not for the voices he could ignore his feelings altogether as if they didn't exist. Which they don't!

"But let's get some food in you first, huh?" J suggested, picking her up.

He hadn't actually had any contact like that with her since the day she'd first arrived, and those had been extenuating circumstances what with the perverted molesting incident.

Madeline gasped a little, but otherwise masked her shock at his actions. Though she was startled, she was far too lazy to demand that he put her down or otherwise question his intentions.

They arrived downstairs to an empty kitchen. It would seem that the house's other occupants had yet to wake up. Well, that and over half of Joker's goons hadn't made it back from Disney and so the house was exceptionally empty. But of course the captured goons knew better than to disclose the information regarding Joker's whereabouts to the police. They feared him far more than they did cops, prison, or the Batman.

Joker sat Madeline down on a barstool as he contemplated what to do about food. I'm a grown ass man. I should be able to prepare some food, right?

He found the toaster stowed away in a cabinet and pulled it out, plugging it in as he grabbed some bread from the loaf and plopped it into the toaster. As J waited for it to toast, he searched the kitchen for some sort of spread, and ended up finding a container of Nutella in the pantry.

He brought the container back in triumphantly just as the toaster popped loudly, revealing the toasted bread to the hungry onlookers. Joker swiftly located a knife and lathered the slices of bread liberally with Nutella, handing one to Madeline and keeping the other for himself.

The two bit happily into their respective slices of toast. Joker giggled when he saw that Madeline's cheeks had Nutella on them, unaware that his own were the same way. Maddie laughed herself in response, noticing the chocolate smile on his face.

By now Joker had finished his toast and was blissfully unaware of the fact that his cheeks bore long chocolate marks like a smile had been drawn onto his face. For this reason Maddie continued to giggle as she finished up her own slice.

"What are you so giggly about, doll?" J finally asked.

"You've got a Nutella smile on your face, Daddy," she confessed with a grin.

J wiped a thumb across his cheek and held it out to see that Madeline was right. He did have Nutella all over his face. Rats.

He grabbed a wet paper towel and wiped his face off with it, grabbing a second one for Maddie to use when she got done eating.

When she finally stopped laughing long enough to finish her food, J came over and thoroughly cleaned her face with the paper towel he'd prepared.

"Come on now, doll. Let's get to it," Joker said enthusiastically. He grabbed her hand and tugged her towards the basement door insistently.

"But Daddy, shouldn't I get dressed first?" Maddie asked, seeing as she was still in her nightgown.

"No time. It doesn't matter," he answered as he kept yanking her along.

This time the basement training room had been set up like an archery range, with various targets all over the place, whether they be the classic bullseye variety or some type of human silhouette.

As Maddie looked around, Joker picked up a purple bow from its mantle on the wall.

"I had this specially made just for you. This one won't fit you forever but it should certainly last a long while," he explained, handing the beautiful weapon to his daughter.

She smiled in gratitude as she accepted the gift just like she had all the others. No one gift meant more to her than another, except for maybe Smiles. Smiles was probably the most important present he'd given her.

"Surprisingly," Joker drawled, "that children's movie wasn't really wrong when it comes to how to shoot a bow. Since you're a, uh, righty, you're gonna want to hold the bow in your left hand so your right hand and eye can shoot. Make sense dollface?"

Madeline nodded along like she always did and held the bow the way that he taught her. Joker grabbed an arrow and put in the girl's empty right hand.

"Now go ahead and notch the arrow onto your pretty little bowstring, princess. There you go, just like that. Now pull back until the tip of your thumb brushes the underside of your earlobe. Perfect. Look down the arrow. It should be curved. Is it curved? Lovely. Adjust your aim until you're looking down the arrow at what you want to hit," Joker instructed in a long breath, watching Madeline's movements in approval.

By now she had the bullseye of a target in her sights. It wasn't that far away, so she wouldn't need to adjust her aim to account for distance. As far as she was concerned, she was ready to release the arrow. But she was a good girl, so she waited for her daddy's command.

"You ready then, babygirl?" He asked, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder so as not to disrupt her aim. At least that's what he told himself. "Let it go whenever you're ready babydoll."

Both of them had to hold in giggles at the unintentional reference to one of Madeline's favorite songs. Soon enough the little girl sobered up, double checked her aim, and let the arrow fly. It soared beautifully through the air, majestic in its flight. But alas, all good things must come to an end, and so did the arrow. Soon enough it thumped into the target, just inside the bullseye.

Joker smirked. She was a natural, just like everything else he'd trained her at. She took to everything like a duck to water, which was why it was just so frustrating to him that she wouldn't use any of it for him when it really counted.

J shook off his negative thoughts and focused on perfecting Madeline's technique and helping her with more long range shots. The pair spent the better part of the morning holed up in the basement together.

As soon as the learning was over, Madeline seemed to sink into herself. She appeared to constantly be deep in thought, mindlessly obeying his instructions and shooting on command. He thought for a moment that if he'd told her then to shoot a man that she would have, as distracted as she was. Joker sensed that once the excitement of learning a new skill wore off, she closed herself off out of fear of when she would be asked to use the new skill later. It was plain to see that it wasn't the same. She wasn't the same.

"I think that's enough for one day," he said finally, waking Maddie up from her daze. She set her things back where she found them and gladly followed him back upstairs, relieved to be leaving the basement at last. And to think, she didn't even see the really scary part. Not that she ever will.

"I actually had a question for you, Madeline," Joker said as they reached the top of the stairs.

Maddie paused, looking back at him in question. He caught up to her figure and cautiously framed his inquiry in his head.

"Do you know who your mommy is?" Joker asked, deciding to just come straight out with it.

"What's a mommy?" Madeline asked, head tilted to the side. You mean to tell me that even with all the Disney shit she's watched she doesn't know what a mommy is?

To be fair, most Disney characters are missing one or both of their parents.

"Well," Joker started, "they are sort of like daddies, but they are girls. It takes a mommy and a daddy to make a baby. So, who was the mommy for your old daddy?"

"I don't know. Sometimes when he was mad, daddy would yell at me for making Suzy go away, whoever she was. I've never met a Suzy, have you?" Madeline explained nonchalantly.

And Joker. Was. Pissed.

When I get my hands on that bitch, she is dead. Left my girl alone with an abusive jackass with no knowledge of what a family should be like just so that the selfish ho could go off and live the rich life.

"Why do you ask, Daddy? Am I gonna get a new mommy too?" Madeline asked, pulling Joker from his rage.

"No, doll, no. I was just, uh, curious is all. Yeah you're not gonna be getting a mommy or a sissy or whatever," he brushed it off.

"Okay," she allowed, skipping off to find Andy and Tommy.

I think it's time that Suzy and I had a little chat.