One

Maniacal laughter could be heard even over the deafening sound of rapidly firing artillery, terrifying all the victims holed up in the bank. Some still had hope that their caped crusader would come and save them, but deep down they knew that they had no real chance of survival, especially since this particular raid occurred in the daylight. All of the citizens of Gotham knew the Bat was afraid of the revealing light of day.

And besides, there were never any survivors during the Joker's robberies, especially not right now, while he was so bored for a proper disaster that he killed everyone he saw. Not even his own henchmen were spared, though their lives were always in danger anyway. No, right now Joker was annoyed with Batman for being so predictable, and he couldn't figure out a plan crazy enough to enact that would set the B-Man off for good.

Now he was just bored because he didn't have a good toy to entertain him. Sure, women came and went, because he had his unbelievable looks and charm, but none were interesting enough to keep around; none gave him any inspiration or further thirst for chaos.

Joker needed to prove something to the citizens of Gotham. All it takes is one bad day to put someone on his level. That's how far away 'normal' people are from his madness. He just needed to find the perfect subject. With his brilliance, it would be no trouble to dream up a new scheme if he had a good enough toy. But sadly, no such project had been found, so now the unfortunate citizens who had chosen to go to Gotham National Bank that day were doomed to die.

Joker cackled gleefully at seeing blood splatter on other victims and dead bodies as he and his oddly dressed crew murdered the bank's inhabitants. Watching the red liquid cover the walls and floors was almost orgasmic for the delusional madman. His silver grills glinted in the fluorescent lighting as he grinned manically at the room now full of dead bodies. His tattooed chest was speckled with blood as he breathed heavily, admiring his masterpiece.

"Boss," Johnny Frost interrupted loudly. Joker whipped around to stare at his head minion. "The cops will be here in four. You should go. I'll get the cash back to the hideout."

"Are you sweet talkin' me?" Joker demanded with his signature grin adorning his face. He wouldn't stand for being given orders by his own goon.

"Boss," Johnny said again. "You know he won't come. It's not worth a vacation in Arkham."

Joker growled loudly at the subtle mention of his nemesis. Of course he was hoping Batsy would come, but he knew that his favorite vigilante wouldn't be gracing him with his presence that day—he just didn't like to be reminded of it. But he knew Frost was right—hopelessly waiting for Batman to arrive in order to torment him wasn't worth getting temporarily sent to Arkham. Temporarily because everyone knew that Joker could never be held in the asylum forever. He always broke out, the only questions were when and how.

So, taking Johnny's advice, Joker stomped to the hole he had blown in the wall, his purple coat fluttering as he stormed out. He ducked through the hole to the alley where he had 'parked' his purple Lamborghini. Just as he opened the driver side door, he heard a small voice pipe up.

"I like your hair, mister," a girl's voice spoke. Joker turned around slowly, a smirk creeping onto his face. He was surprised to see a small girl that looked no older than five staring up at him shyly. She was covered by dirt and grime and a few torn up looking rags.

"Is that so?" He purred to the girl, showing off his silver grill.

"Yeah, and your coat and teeth look pretty cool, too," the girl complimented. Joker cracked his neck circularly, for some reason finding interaction with this girl amusing.

"Oh really? I'm sure your mommy and daddy wouldn't think so, little girl. They would say you shouldn't talk to me," Joker smiled.

"My name's not little girl, it's Madeline. I'm four! I'm not little anymore! And my daddy is sleeping just over there. He doesn't mind," the girl protested indignantly.

The Joker looked to where the girl pointed and noticed a man slumped against the wall, beer bottles and needles surrounding him. He wasn't moving, or breathing. Madeline's father was dead.

"Your daddy," Joker snarled. "Is dead, sweetheart. He won't be your daddy anymore. I'm guessing Mommy isn't in the picture anymore either, huh? What a shame. Poor little Maddie without a mommy or daddy."

Joker giggled a little at his unintentional rhyme, not remotely caring that he had probably caused this girl's whole world to come crashing down. Suddenly realizing this fact, he turned to face Madeline, wanting to see her heartbroken reaction like the sick sadist he was. He was slightly disappointed to note that the girl looked unfazed. In fact, she almost appeared hopeful and excited.

"Well then, will you be my daddy?" Maddie asked of him.

Joker broke into hysterical laughter at the notion. How sweet was this! Some little street orphan thought that it would be a good idea to ask him to be her daddy. It was ridiculous, hilarious, unthinkable. Surely she was joking, but no, Madeline appeared dead serious. As Joker slowly stopped laughing and moved to grab his gun to put the girl out of her misery, inspiration struck.

How destructive and chaotic would it be, if a murderous little girl was unleashed upon the inhabitants of Gotham? How shocking, how terrifying would it be if he turned a sweet and innocent little girl into a loyal assassin of a toy? It was the perfect plot! It would drive the city mad! It would break Batsy, to have to take down a little girl like that. Batman would snap on Joker, and even if he killed J, it would be worth it, to prove that Batman was no better than the Joker. The perfect little project had just fallen right into his lap. Such potential couldn't be destroyed. Think of the possibilities! Of the chaos, just waiting to be unleashed upon Gotham!

Joker took his hand off of his gun and again looked at Madeline. All he saw was what she could be, what he could turn her into. He could use a new toy—but not sexually, of course. The Joker was many things, but a pedophile was not one of them. He smiled, a broad, terrifying smile, but it didn't seem to bother the girl. She just smiled brightly back at him. Joker, beginning to chuckle again, walked around his car and opened the passenger side door.

"Well what are you waiting for, doll? Do you want me to be your daddy or not?" Joker purred impatiently.

Maddie jumped up gleefully, shock and hope enveloping her innocent features.

"Are you serious?" She asked carefully, not wanting to get her hopes up.

"Do I look like the kind of guy to joke, sweetie?" Joker returned, holding in his laughter. Of course he was the kind to joke, but she didn't need to know that, not yet at least. Sirens sounded nearby, and J knew he needed to hurry.

Maddie dashed over to him, and Joker resisted his instinct to grab his gun and brutally murder her. She wrapped her arms around his leg, as that was all she could reach, and hugged it tightly. Joker only handled the contact for a few moments before he roughly tugged her off.

"Alright, alright, get off me you little limpet. Go hop in the car," Joker ordered gruffly.

Maddie climbed into the passenger side and Joker closed the car door behind her. He ran around the front of the car to the still open driver side and dove in, slamming the door after himself. He began to start the engine, putting the car in gear. Before he could press the gas pedal, however, he turned to look at his passenger.

"You better buckle up, sweetheart. We're in for a rough ride!" J cackled. The girl nodded seriously, following his advice and then turned back to him.

"Aren't you going to get buckled, Daddy? It's dangerous," Maddie scolded, her own seat belt tightly buckled.

Joker groaned, and rather than argue with the girl, snapped his seat belt in place and slammed on the gas, causing the car to shoot forward, right past the approaching cop cars. He swerved in and out of traffic as he fought to lose the few cops that had managed to follow him. J cheered loudly as he saw one of the cars flip and explode, blocking its comrades from following.

He turned to look at his new 'daughter' expecting her to be frightened out of her wits, but instead found her staring in awe out of her window, watching him pass cars and buildings, all of which looked like colorful streaks at the speed they were traveling. She hadn't even noticed the chase that had just occurred. Joker didn't know if he was relieved or disappointed.

Either way, he floored it back to his current hideout, grumbling under his breath. As Joker navigated through the outskirts of Gotham, Maddie continued to gaze out her window like it held all the answers to life. Finally, Joker drove up to an elegant mansion seemingly in the middle of nowhere. He had taken over the abandoned dwelling and made it his own, decorating it to his own whims and desires. Joker glided to a stop in the mansion's driveway, and turned to look at Madeline, signature grin in place.

"We're here," he drawled happily. The gel in his hair had ceased to slick it back, and now strands hung wildly around his face. Maddie giggled at his appearance and smiled sweetly.

"What's so funny, doll?" Joker demanded angrily. He hated being the one left out of jokes. No one should laugh unless he did first. Despite being the King of Jokes, he couldn't take them very well.

Maddie, not even worried about offending the psycho she had accepted as her new father, pointed at his crazy hair and burst into hysterical laughter. J looked in his rear view mirror and obsessively stroked back his hair, fixing it. Then he glared at Madeline evilly. This girl has a death wish. She wants me for a daddy and just laughed at me.The voices began whispering conspiratorially to him.

She needs to learn who the boss is. Hurt her. She laughed at you, she thinks you're crazy. Kill her!

Joker shook his head like a wet dog to clear the annoying thoughts. It would seem the voices were trying to foil his plan. If he hurt the girl now, she would never trust him enough to be molded into the perfect toy. It was a waiting game. He couldn't scare her, or hurt her. Not yet.

"Enough of that," J snarled. "Come inside—there's much to do. You, my little doll, need to get all cleaned up. Then we'll talk. I can't talk to you when you smell like absolute gutter trash."

Joker swung his door open and stepped out. He strolled up to his mansion confidently, not caring about how the sensitive Madeline would take his nasty comment. Meanwhile, said girl was still in the car in her seat, little tears coming to her eyes. She hadn't known her new daddy an hour and he was already beginning to behave like her real daddy did. Though to be fair, she realized, she had just laughed at how he looked. Maybe he was just joking, she thought. Yes, he wasn't trying to be rude, he was just playing.

With that mentality, Maddie opened her door and skipped after Joker. Once she caught up to him, she confidently raised her hand up to grab his. He looked at the spot where her hand touched his incredulously. This girl is crazier than me. He shook her off of him quickly, shooting her a glare for trying to hold his hand.

"I don't, uh, hold hands doll. I don't do physical contact or affection either," Joker mumbled to her.

They had reached the front door. J turned the handle and opened it up, revealing his extravagant abode to his new daughter. She gazed around the entryway in awe. I didn't know there was this much stuff in the world...Joker turned to talk to Maddie but stopped when he saw the look on her face. He began to giggle quietly at her.

"Uh, Madeline, was it? Look at me, doll. Look at Daddy," J ordered.

Maddie faced the Joker, expression still on her face. Joker held his tattooed hand over the majority of her face—as it was so small—to make it appear that she was smiling. When he raised his hand, she actually was smiling.

"Bathroom is the first door on the left. Go there, do your thing, and come straight back. If you see anyone, don't talk to them. You are only to talk to me, got it princess?" J commanded. Maddie nodded seriously, then looked down at her hands.

"Daddy, which is left? My old daddy said it was the way when your hand makes an L, but I don't know what that is," she asked him.

Joker groaned in frustration and fought to control his growing temper. Who the fuck doesn't know left from right? Even I know that, and the alphabet. He pointed to the purple door that led to the bathroom and Maddie followed his gaze, understanding the meaning.

"Thanks Daddy!" She grinned, skipping off to the door he'd pointed out.

Joker rubbed his temples in frustration. He had no idea how he was going to put up with this girl for an extended period of time without revealing his true nature to her. Attempting to distract himself, Joker went into his bedroom to get the girl some temporary clothes. He stalked into his closet and pulled open a drawer, finding some purple boxers and sleep shirts, which he never wore. Who needs pajamas when you don't sleep? And even when I do, it's with a woman, he smirked to himself.

However, he quickly realized that the clothing would be far too large on Madeline's small frame. J grabbed the smallest clothes that he could find in his room for the girl. Grimacing to himself, he decided that the outfit would have to do for now. Joker made a mental note to order her some clothes and shit. He would also need to get her a room set up. J sighed to himself. So much to do all for one little girl. This better be fucking worth it.

Suddenly he heard a sharp shriek from downstairs. He thought it sounded kinda like that kid's voice until it abruptly cut off. For fuck's sake, what is it now? Joker asked himself, exasperated as he stormed out of his bedroom and down the stairs to where he'd heard the scream. He was infuriated to find that one of his disgusting and moronic minions had found it appropriate to try and molest defenseless little Maddie. No one touches my toys. I don't share.

"Get the fuck off of her before I blow your head wide open," Joker growled threateningly as he whipped out his chrome purple gun and pointed it at the goon's head.

Maddie was crying softly, her mouth covered by the goon's grubby hand. She had had a towel, clearly, as it was now lying on the floor, but now she was naked and vulnerable. She was so relieved to see her daddy, that is until she saw his weapon pointed in her direction. Her eyes widened in fear and she cried harder.

The goon's hand froze on Maddie's stomach from its trip to her nethers. Right away he knew he was screwed no matter what he did, but he quickly realized it would be better to obey and hope for the best rather than continue on at this point. But the pedophile was scared shitless, to the point where he'd pissed himself from fear. He couldn't move from sheer terror.

Meanwhile Madeline was sobbing, traumatized by the first hour in her new home. When Joker saw his minion was not going to move, he growled menacingly and shot him in the shoulder, right over Maddie. Her ears were ringing from the noise of the gunshot—which she was unaccustomed to, despite her previous time living on the dangerous streets of Gotham. She couldn't even scream; she was frozen in shock, not even noticing that the goon had fallen back and released her.

The goon laid on the floor, groaning in pain, but Joker and Maddie both paid no heed. Maddie was unable to focus on much of anything in the state she was in, and J couldn't focus on anything but her, and the voices mocking him for being unable to protect what was his. You're pathetic. Your plan will fail if you keep this up. Failure. Can't even keep one little girl safe. They were screwing with him and driving him nuts. Or, more nuts anyway. He was filled with possessiveness as a result, and he stalked over to Maddie, shoving the shirt over her head, pulling the underwear up her legs, and snatching her up bridal style. Maddie whimpered and buried her face in his still bare chest, wrapping her arms around him as best she could. As J brought her to the staircase, he passed Johnny Frost.

"Lock him up. I don't want to see his dumb ass until I'm ready to deal with him," he ordered gruffly.

Johnny immediately went to do his boss's bidding, not once questioning Maddie's presence in the mansion, or what the goon had done, or what Joker was doing with the girl now. He was J's right hand man for a reason, and it was because he did as he was told without question. That's how you stayed alive as one of Joker's goons. That, and making yourself scarce when he was bored, violent, angry, or any emotion other than happy or excited really. And even then it was smarter to steer clear of the psychopath.

Joker continued up the staircase and to his own room, setting Madeline down on the bed when he got there. She instantly curled up into a ball and began crying softly. The poor girl's nerves were absolutely shot, and this was just within an hour of her being there. J sighed to himself as he saw her, disappointed and disgusted by her reaction. That's gonna need to change. She can't be freaked out by a gunshot if she's gonna be my mini assassin. But he begrudgingly decided that he would need to comfort the girl in order to build trust with her and put her on the path to insanity and badassery. He sat down next to her on the bed and pulled her into his lap. She snuggled into his embrace and Joker fought the growing urge to shove her off of him.

"Babydoll? Come here, what's wrong? Tell Daddy what scared you. I'm here now, and I'll make it better, doll," he promised in a false concerned tone. He was putting it on thick for the sake of his scheme. Maddie sniffled quietly before answering.

"That man was a bad man, Daddy. He... he... he tried to do something very very bad. I was so s-scared. He just ripped off my towel... and then you got there and I was so relieved—I thought you were gonna save me! But then you had a gun and were pointing it at me and you shot the bad man right by my head and I was just so scared I didn't know what to do, Daddy. Why did you shoot that man, Daddy?" Maddie rambled as she hiccuped in between words and phrases. Joker was struggling to keep up, but her pattern of speech was similar to some of his voices so it wasn't that hard.

"Baby, I thought that man was going to rape you. I couldn't just, stand by and let that happen. He was one of my men, so he should have known better than to try and hurt you. Daddy was only protecting you, sweet pea. Besides, I didn't kill him, did I? No. So I didn't do anything that bad, really I should've done worse but I didn't want you to see that. Do you understand, princess?" Joker explained to her in a tone that one would use with little kids. Like Madeline. He felt like he may either burst into hysterical laughter or vomit from the words he had just spewed forth.

"I-I guess so, Daddy. But you didn't have to shoot him. Shooting people is bad too, Daddy," Maddie said, still stubborn on the subject. Joker groaned internally. This whole thing was going to be agonizing. And remarkably slow. But here he saw an opportunity to speed up the process a little. So he took it.

"Shooting people when they deserve it isn't bad, sweetie. And besides, I told him to get off you or I would shoot him. He didn't listen! He was clearly crazy, doll. You need to be able to protect yourself from crazies like him," Joker continued, fighting off a cackle. The only crazy you need protection from is me, doll. My goon was just scared shitless by the real crazy here.

"How can I do that?" Maddie mumbled sleepily, focusing on the back half of Joker's speech and letting the whole shooting thing go.

"Well, I'm going to train you to defend yourself against bad guys, baby. Like how to fight, and shoot a gun, all that fun stuff," J revealed. "But not right now. Right now you need to calm down and relax. You'll have to sleep in here tonight, but you should have your own room by tomorrow."

Joker was annoyed to discover that Maddie had fallen asleep in his lap and hadn't heard really any of what he had just said. He groaned out loud this time, but figured it wouldn't be worth it to wake up the girl and deal with her blubbering again. He managed to unlatch her arms from him and set her down on the bed on top of the covers. She'll be fine I'm sure. He left to find Frosty and see about getting Madeline a room and some clothes. He could already tell that this whole endeavor was going to be much tougher than he had previously thought.