Chapter 5 (part 2)

He remembered the day he met Stanley Uris.

It was around 6pm on some night in June, his father had taken him to the park, too tired of arguing with his mother to stay in the same house for the night, and so had resolved to making the most of going out, by taking his son along to play in the local park. They had walked in, Wentworth clutching the hand of a small 5-year-old boy with unruly curls and had explicitly warned him to not talk to strangers. 

He has then let the child run wild, watching with a smile on his face as a small ball of energy ran around a set of old monkey bars trying his hardest to jump and touch one of them, which were obviously out of his reach. Richie had eventually gotten tired and resorted to finding someone to play with, a tiny frown on his face as he watched other parents playing with their kids and wondering where his own dad had gone. 

He looked behind the swings and under some benches but didn't realize that Wentworth wasn't even in the park anymore. He had just left. But Richie didn't know that and kept looking. He spotted a bright yellow slide, and wondered if his dad was hiding behind it, slowly walking up to it, hands gripping the dirty plastic tight as he peeked around the edge. 

The sight he was met with, was not his dad, but a small boy with a head of pretty curly hair. He was sitting cross legged on a small blanket, unaware that someone was watching him, and playing with a tiny toy bird, making it hop along the ground and search for worms. The boy smiled as he stroked the bird and cuddled it, making false chirping noises as he made it hop on the ground again. 

Richie was fascinated by the bird, and so emerged from his hiding place, which made the boy snap his head up, a scared look coming over his face as he hid the bird behind his back.

"I like your bird," Richie smiled

"I don't have a bird. Go away," the boy said stubbornly, not doing a good job at hiding his toy, as Richie eyed the feathers of the bird poking out from behind the boy's back.

"Yes you do, I can see it!" Richie squeaked pointing at the toy.

The boy looked shocked, but didn't say anything and shuffled back, further from Richie.

Richie stood and thought for a minute, and then crouched down, "It's okay, I'm not going to kill you or anything, I really do like your bird. It's very pretty."

The boy thought about this for a second, looking Richie up and down and contemplating whether he really was a killer or not.

"Okay," he whispered, beckoning Richie to sit next to him. He placed the toy bird in front of both of them.

"What's your name?" Richie asked curiously

"Stanley" the boy replied, "What's yours?"

"Richie.... What's your birds name?"

"Duck."

"Duck?"

"Yes, Duck"

"Can I touch Duck?"

"No."

The two boys stayed like that for a while, hiding under a plastic yellow slide, Stanley telling Richie random facts about Duck, and Richie ignoring this, his only care in the world being whether or not he could touch Duck, asking every few minutes, and Stanley giving him the same answer each time. It wasn't long before Stanley's father found them in their little hideout, asking Richie where his dad was, to which Richie replied, "I don't know."

So, with Stanley's father who was worried for the 5 year old kid all alone at the park, they all roamed about the neighbourhood, looking for a family with a lost child, until they ended up at the Tozier household, where a tipsy Maggie Tozier answered the door, rudely accusing Stan's father of abducting her kid, and then turning around and marching up the stairs of the house, leaving the door wide open, whilst yelling a string of curse words at Wentworth, who wasn't even in the house. 

This was enough to confuse anyone meeting her for the first time, but Richie assured Stan's father with his high pitched voice that, "Mama will calm down, don't worry, she gets angry sometimes"

Just as he was about to leave, Stan stopped him.

"What is it?" Richie asked

Stan said nothing but wrapped Richie in a hug and placed Duck in the small boy's hands, "You might need him, he helps when you are sad."

"Stanley. Get away from him. We don't hug boys. Take care Richard. Goodbye."

The tall man dragged Stanley away by his upper arm and walked of down the street. Richie gave Stan a last wave as he disappeared around the corner, then turned back to the open door of his house, running up to his room. He sat on his bed, cuddling Duck, and eventually, drifted off to sleep.

Richie looked pleadingly at Beverly, the girl, he didn't feel like talking, he wouldn't know how to explain it, it didn't make sense to him, it would sound stupid. He knew it would, he just.... couldn't. Her blue eyes just stared back, "It doesn't have to make sense rich, we're here to listen," she whispered, she knew it was hard for him to talk about his feelings, even harder for him to explain, but he had to get it off of his chest, "Please, Richie."

Richie was a little older than when he'd met Stan, 8 or 9, and it was a darker night, probably around 9 o clock, that he'd decided to talk a walk in the park. He would always try to stay out of the house when he could. It was a little chilly, winter was getting nearer and the musty October air dropping a few degrees every day as November approached. Walking along the path, barely lit by the lampposts that flickered on and off, he spotted someone sitting on a bench, wrapped up in a big dull green coat. 

Not a single part of their body was visible, and Richie couldn't tell whether it was a lady or a man. They were not doing anything. Not moving. Just sitting there frozen. At first, he'd been scared that it was some sort of tramp, a hobo possibly, but as he edged away, he saw a tuft of red hair poking out of the bundle of fabric, and then a sniffle. 

And after the sniffle, a muffled sob. This wasn't a tramp- it was a girl. He walked forward cautiously, "Are you okay?" The sobs stopped, the coat shifted a little, and the girl turned to face Richie. She was very pretty, fiery red hair just grazing the tops of her shoulders, and icy blue eyes wet with tears.

"Can you help me?" she asked weakly, "My name is Beverly, I.... I don't know where to go.""I-.... uh... My name's Richie.... I... I don't know if my mom will-""Please Richie," she whispered, her jaw quivering and teeth chattering because of the cold and tears.

And so, that night, a small nine-year-old boy learned how to climb the tree outside his window to help out a small girl he'd found sitting alone on a bench at night, no questions asked. He snuck her into the house, building her a tiny blanket fort on the floor next to his bed, stealthily creeping down to steal some food from the pantry, and giving her all his pillows so she would be comfy. 

In the morning, Stan had come over after his mother had gone to work and given him a long lecture on helping out strangers, and how they could be dangerous. Richie didn't hesitate to remind him that they were strangers when they first met, at which Stanley rolled his eyes, called Richie an idiot, and then trooped off to see what else the two of them could do to help their new friend, Beverly, out.

Richie didn't know that that same night he had gained an older sister, the only remotely motherly figure he would have in his life, but in time, he came to understand. He didn't know what he would do without Bev or Stan.

He looked up again at both of them, hesitating a bit, and then giving a defeated sigh. After one more puff of his cigarette he murmured, "I don't know, I really don't know, I don't fucking understand, I just.... I don't know"

"It's okay Rich, just say whatever you want, it'll help you sort it out."Richie cleared his throat, sitting up a little straighter and began to relate the happenings of the day, "Well uh, I was walking.... Uh I mean, skateboarding to school and uh I met this kid,""Wait," Bev interrupted, "Is this the same girl that you just had to go to maths for, instead of bunking with me?"

"Uh...yeah," he cleared his throat again, cheeks feeling warmer. He didn't like lying to his best friends, but for some reason, he didn't want them to know that it was actually Eddie Kaspbrak he was talking about. "Yeah, that's her"

"So, what's her name?" Stan asked, curious to know which girl had finally peaked Richie's interest"That's not important right now," Richie waved off the question, continuing with what he was saying, "So I met this girl, and she was.... I don't really know... but it felt good talking to her, so I went to maths, to you know, get to know her better and......" Richie trailed off, looking down at his hands, chest feeling heavier, "and uh......"

He took a deep breath, "I don't know... I kinda ended up.... Staring at her... I'm not like attracted to her because that would be ga- ... gross... I mean like I don't like her... I mean I do...but not romantically...at least... I don't think so... hell I don't even know her that well... uh...yeah... forget about that, it doesn't make any sense. Long story short, we kinda have all our periods together, and I walked with her to art. The assignment was to draw something that makes us happy, and she drew this really pretty picture of the quarry and it just.... It reminded me of him....we used to go there a lot...my dad.... I mean Wentworth....and then how he just.....he just..."

Richie couldn't finish that sentence, it got caught in his throat. He blinked hard, not daring to make eye contact with anyone, "And when I start thinking about him, it just kinda.... spirals off...I don't know how to stop.... It's not even something that happens every day, I don't really know.... I can't really stop my thoughts when it happens and.... I... I don't know... it feels like it's all my fault.... And I'm just so confused...I can't think straight...today didn't help either...when I think about what happened, I think about mom and it just...it all leads back to me...even she says it's my fault, that I'm a fuck up, I don't know... I doesn't feel like this all the time but sometimes...it just builds up in my mind and kinda crashes down when I don't want it to... actually I don't ever want it to," he gave a weak laugh at the last part, "but uh... nothing that a good cig won't fix, am I right?"

They watched him take another drag and exhale in relief, "Do you... Do you feel any better?" Stan asked.

"No," Richie said bluntly, "But shit like this happens sometimes, and I'm sure it will go away... in a few hours...maybe"

Bev reached over, pulling the cigarette from Richie's mouth, who immediately tried to snatch it back, "Richie," she said firmly, a look in her eye that told him to back down, and he did, leaning back against the tree trunk, crossing his arms and looking away. 

"Richie, it might feel like it's your fault, but it isn't. It really isn't. It's between two people that thought they once loved each other, but they don't anymore, and had to leave but that is not because of you. You aren't a fuck up, you are important to me, to Stan, I don't think I could live without my Trashmouth," she said with a small smile, flicking Richie's forehead lightly, "I know it will take some time for you to understand that, and it's not my place to force it on to you, because you're the only one that can convince yourself."

Richie smiled a tired smile, at least she tried, but he knew he wasn't the most important to either of them, he'd always come second place. He'd seen the way that Bev looked at chubby little Ben Hanscom, and Stan had a family that loved him, they would always be important than Richie. Richie knew that was selfish, he knew they cared about him, but he also knew that he'd always wanted that bit more. 

Richie's always had a chunk of his share of love missing from the plate, and he wanted it back so badly. He just didn't know how. He never knew how, living his life in confusion, not understanding how to separate his own thoughts. He'd come to one solution, which was to ignore them until he couldn't anymore, a terrible solution, but still a solution.

"Thanks for coming out here with me guys, it... it helped" Richie said, standing up and brushing off his jeans

"Anything for you Richie," Bev smiled, patting his shoulder lightly, as she too got up, along with Stan.

"Hey Rich," Stan said, "We do care about you. I care about you. Don't forget that."

"Really Staniel? I thought you hated me, guess I should fuck your mom more often if it ends up with you admitting your undying love for me," Richie said, smirking slightly, wanting to feel like his normal self again. He really didn't like talking about his feelings, that shit was just confusing. Nothing more and nothing less.

"Don't push it Richard," Stan mumbled rolling his eyes and walking over to his bike, "Come one you guys, we have to get back before they realise, we bunked,"

"Oh, shut up Stan they couldn't care less, it's not like we're going to end up broke, jobless and lying face down in a ditch all decomposed covered in worms and maggots smelling like your mom's underwear."

"Yes. Yes, it is." Stan deadpanned.

"Well, I guess I stand corrected," Richie sighed, also walking over to his bike, "Pip Pip and tally ho Bevie, we have to get to class like Stan the Man says,"

"You guys are a bunch of dorks," Bev said with a small grin, jogging over to her own bike and hopping on. The three of them rode off, back to school, Richie praying that they would face some sort of hour-long detour so that they would get back in time for lunch. 

...

A/N 

Hello yes I am back, I thought chapter 15 would take forever, but I ended up writing 1000 word in 15 mins-

So ig half of it is done lMAoOo, that being said, I still don't know if anything makes sense, my lovely proofreader is not available at the moment so I've lost the flow of things with my ideas. I haven't sent them anything since chapter 10 and I need someone to tell me whether I'm doing this right SXDFCGBHJ

Does this chapter make sense? I don't know but uh every seemingly giant unnecessary chapter is here for a reason so you are just gonna have to be patient hehe

One more thing I don't know if I want this story to be realistic or.... have some pennywise in it, what do y'all think?

Also by the looks of this story its gonna be like 50 chapters or smth as long as I dont give up half way-

No promises I take huge breaks ughhh

Anywaysssss I hoped you like today's update have a great day <333 I appreciate every single comment and vote so yeahhhh thank you to my 7 readers now, I love you all so fucking much ahhhh 

*remember to vote*