Chapter 15

I pushed through the huge crowd of One Direction fans crowded around the hotel entrance.

"You bitch! You stole Zayn from me!"

"You’re fat and ugly! Who would want you?!"

"Here’s some condoms! Zayn can do you all he wants, just make sure there isn’t a mini you running around any time soon!"

Those were just three of the thousands of horrible things being screamed at me while condoms, stones, magazines, and other things I didn’t recognize rained down on me.

Once the guards pulled me from the madness, I was safely led to the elavator by John, “Thank you." I mumbled, brushing some of the stuff out of my hair, trying to untangle a silver package from the back of my head.

"No problem. Only two more days then it’s back to London and that’s over."

"Yea." I whispered, giving up on trying to get the rest of the shit out of my hair and just crossed my arms. We stopped on the top floor and I stepped out, immediately almost getting hit by a football.

"Avery?" Harry asked, picking up the ball and staring at me.

"Can I ask why you have a condom in your hair?" Louis smirked, brushing some dirt off my shoulder.

"No, you can’t." I answered coldly and unlocked the door to my room, slamming it behind me.

I changed into some pajamas and went to brush my hair, tears of frustration filling my eyes as nothing was getting the stuff out. My face buried into my arms and took deep breaths, not strong enough to take the words that were screamed at me.

Sure, with my profession comes hatred, but not to that extent. I felt a familiar warm torso against my back, picking me up in their arms, the scent of his cologne filling my nose.

"Babe… Shhh… You’re okay… Tell me what happened." Zayn cooed, running his cold fingers along the waistband of my sweatpants, and holding my balled up body against his. I just shook my head no and snuggled deeper into him, not wanting to talk about it. He carefully unwrapped my hair from around the condom and threw it on the floor carelessly, “Whatever they say isn’t true, it doesn’t matter what they think." he sighed guiltily, rocking us back and forth like he had the first night we spent together.

"That’s not the only thing that’s bothering me, Zayn." I cried, pushing myself away from him by his shoulders and standing up, walking over to the window where there was a clear view of the fans down below.

"Then can you tell me?"

"They only think of me as ‘Zayn’s girlfriend’. Do you know how shitty that feels? Not that it would be a bad thing to be your girlfriend, it would be amazing, but I’m just known as a part of you. Not only does it suck because I’m not known as the actress I was before, but because I don’t even know what I am to you. All I’m saying is after the campaign we are both being forced back into our different normals. You leaving for yet another tour, me filming my new movie, both on completely opposite sides of the world. No down time, no time in general. Whatever we have going on here, I love it, but if I don’t have a clear verification of what it is, I don’t think we will make it much longer without bigger complications then me getting condoms thrown at me." I wiped a few spare tears away as I spoke.

"Boo…" Zayn whispered, his own tears surfacing as he stood up and took a step closer to me.

"I’m not done. Then there’s my epilepsy. I spend the majority of my day worrying that I’m going to collapse and have another seizure. I’m so scared that they will find another tumor and I will have to go through hell yet again, not only ruining my career, but my relationship with you. I don’t want to lose you. And most of all I’m worried about you." I continue, getting close enough to him that I can roll up his sleeves, “I’m worried I’ll lose you not only because of me, but because of that. Because of the cuts you make to tell yourself your useless when you are my everything. And I dont want someone I care so much about feeling that way. I want to help so bad, but I feel like an ant compared to that fucking razor. I want to kick some sense into that pretty head of your to tell you your perfect! You’re everything I have ever wanted and needed and here you are right in front of me, hopefully feeling the same way about me that I feel you because if you d-" he cut me off with his lips pressed firmly to mine.

I breathlessly gave into it as his lips encased mine, holding my face to his with a gentle grip on my neck. He pulled away, his forehead resting on mine, our breath slowing down against each other.

"I love you." he squeaked, his voice cracking.

My heart bounced deep down to my stomach and filled it’s original spot back in, making it hard for me to speak, let alone breathe.

"I love you, too." I managed, looking up into his eyes, seeing as many mixed emotions as I was feeling.

We didn’t say anything else the rest of the night, just cuddled up with each other, kissing the exposed skin we could reach every once and a while, even the occasional ‘I love you’ was muttered.