Chapter 34 - End Of An Era | PT. I

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⚠️ This chapter contains descriptions that might bring you discomfort. Be advised! ⚠️(Mentions of suicide and sexual themes)

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"HEY!"

I call out from a distance, loud enough to startle the gentleman who's been after this girl since they left the bar, with surely no good intentions. Both their heads snap in my direction, my boots thunder against the concrete, striding toward the bizarre scene.

My eyes instinctively find the girl first. There she stands, tense, her fingers curled knuckle-white around her keys. The closer I was getting, the clearer I could see the terror in her face. The other man turns his whole body towards me, taking a small step away from her.

I stop as soon as I reach them, my flashlight moving to the dude first. His whole face scrunches, eyes squint as he twitches in reaction to the sudden light. Rugged face, unfocused gaze, possibly shit-faced from the alcohol.

"Who are you?" I ask directly.

"I'm uh-" the man stammers, following with a chuckle to drown the awkwardness he caused. "I was just..walking-"

"Her home? Because from the look on her face, I can tell you're not invited in," my attention finally turns to the girl, nodding towards the man. "You know this guy?"

But of course, right when she opens her mouth, he speaks up instead, "Why don't you just mind your fucking business?" he raises his voice at me in defense.

"Because I am her boyfriend and a police officer," I cut off sharply, taking an intimidating step closer to him. This piece of shit really has some nerve to ask something like that. "Which title amuses you the most?"

"You're not a cop-" he laughs out like I was joking. Just to confirm it to him, I swiftly struck his ribs with the flashlight, later following with a kick to his calf, causing him to lose balance. As he stumbles, I smoothly draw out a knife, and grab him by the back of his jacket, slamming him against my own chest. The blade of the knife stops right against the pulse of his throat, hearing them both, him and the girl gasp.

"Don't test my patience," I grunt, whispering to the man's ear in a threatening tone, before shoving him off of me harshly. "Now, get the fuck out of here before you spend the night in a cell."

He stumbles from the shove, breathing heavily. He doesn't say anything, just adjusts his jacket, while cold sweat runs down his forehead. This is all it took to kick off the arrogance from his face. He exchanges quick looks with the girl, before looking back at me as he takes a few slow steps back and later, flees.

I exhale slowly through my nostrils before I sheathe the knife back to my hidden holster, under my brown leather jacket. My gaze returns finally to the girl, her hands holding on her thighs as she sighs in relief.

"Thank you.. Thank you so much, Mister... Boyfriend and Officer," she jests awkwardly, despite the stress I can still see on her.

"That guy's been after you from the time you got out of the bar," I say as I approach her, always being careful not to scare her any further.

"Yeah-..I had an idea.."

"Are you alright? Did he hurt you?"

"No, no. He just called me out. Thank god you showed up in time...I-..my body froze.." she explains the situation briefly, a lightly trembling hand on her chest. "I don't know what could have happened. Thank you again."

"Don't mention it. You are okay. That's what matters.." I pause, looking around the dark, deserted area, while my hand finds my hip as I think. Wouldn't be nice to let her go home alone after something like this. "Do you need a ride home maybe?"

I can sense her uncertainty from the way her eyes work up on my form. Not that I blame her. After all, it's quite weird for me to pop out of nowhere, with a knife on me. "Uhm-..."

"I am actually a police officer," I reassure her, already fishing out my ID card and old R.P.D badge. I really don't know why I still carry it around. As she examines it, I stand idle, feeling her glancing over at me and my ID.

"No..thank you so much but-..I prefer to go alone." I nod understandingly as she slowly hands me back my stuff. "I'm only two minutes away from home by here."

"I understand-, as you wish." I still give her a small smile to let her know that I'm no threat.

"But still- Thank you...again...Mister Kennedy. I will forever be thankful."

-

This is how everything began. The very first time we ever met. I still remember how afraid you seemed. How cautious you were of me.

-

"Mister Kennedy?" she frowns in surprise, her hands sneaking inside her blue medical shirt as she walks up to me. Honestly, I'd be lying if I said I'm not equally surprised to stumble on her.

"What an odd way to meet again, huh?" I greet her with an unexpressive chuckle as she approaches me, taking in my condition.

"As if the first time was not bizarre enough...But I will agree," she returns the chuckle. "So..let's get straight to the point, shall we? Since I don't have a file on you, can you tell me what's the situation?"

"Nothing serious.." I say while she lowers her gaze at the blood on the right side of my jeans. "Just one of my stitches tore." 

-

And that feeling ended up being very mutual...

-

"(y/n), let me now introduce you to my team," Chris begins, my attention fully on the nurse I stumbled upon at the bar, who treated my wounds, and now stands before me inside the secretive base. "This is Piers Nivans. One of my best operators..."

I barely register his words, observing closely her every move. She's standing awkwardly, nodding her head as her hands are brought together, looking at each one of us. I don't know if I should feel relieved someone close to the Redfields joined, or wary about finding her on my way so often.

"And last but surely not least...Leon Kennedy." Her eyes finally meet mine the moment he talks about me, but my expression is stern. Cautious. "Started as a rookie cop at the Raccoon Police Department, but only for a day. After the outbreak at Raccoon City, his career took a hard turn, leading him to become America's finest top-secret government agent, just six years later. He managed to save the President's daughter, Ashley Graham, from the cult I talked to you about earlier."

-

It took me time to get used to you...even accept you. You were on my way the whole time, and it could be a bit...irritating.

Little did I know, it was your love language all along.

-

"Hey." I suddenly hear a voice quietly calling me, dragging my attention away from what I'm studying. There's (y/n) sneaking her hands into her pockets.

"Hello, (y/n)." I greet her back, almost stoically. "Need something?"

"No uhm- Just wondering-..What are you- reading?" she asks pointing with her gaze at the files I'm holding.

"Some- classified documents." I simply respond.

"Really? What is it about?"

...Odd.

"Classified," I emphasize, hoping she catches on.

"Right..I'm sorry-"

"I think you should get some coffee. Your mind doesn't seem to be functioning properly right now from the lack of sleep." I murmur, looking back over the papers in hand.

"No, it's not that- just-" she pauses, letting out a sigh. "Listen I- I just wanted to tell you about...you know...the night you-"

"Don't worry, (y/n)," I already speak up, figuring out what all this is about. "Although I appreciate your kindness, It is a part of my job to protect others."

"Yeah, you are right. Still, thank you. I didn't have the chance back at the hospital or yesterday to approach you and tell you how I appreciate what you did for me."

"No problem," I say, feeling the corners of my lips going up a bit.

"Yeah- and if you also will need help with anything, I will try my best to you know...help you back."

"I don't think I will be in need of your help, but I will keep it in mind."

-

I arch an eyebrow as a hand suddenly appears from behind me, placing a steaming cup of coffee on my side of the table. Turning my head, I see (y/n) standing there, her purse slung casually over her shoulder, looking like she just arrived. 

And coming up to me for the third time.

"Hi, Leon I uh," She glances down at the cup. "I was at Wiskays and decided to bring you some coffee- I brought for the others too."

Lowering the stack of papers Piers gave me to study, I adjust my holster, looking at it. Kind of her. I guess. "Thanks," I mutter, reaching for the cup. However, the moment I take a sip, my face contorts into a scowl - it's sickly sweet, like drinking damn syrup.

And she definitely notices my reaction.

"W-what? You don't like it?" she asks as she looks at me. I shake my head, swallowing thickly to try and get rid of the sugary taste coating my tastebuds.

"No, it's fine," I finally manage to say, placing the cup back on the desk with an uncomfortable throat clearing.

"I didn't know what kind of coffee you drink, so...But if you want, I can go get the type you like-"

"I said it's fine, (y/n)," I assure her, cutting off her rambling. "Thank you."

-

I swallow a thick gulp of the whiskey, its sweet taste burning down my throat, my head propped on my hand on the bar's counter.

My mind hasn't been able to stop thinking about everything. Racoon City, the island. While I'm still trying to recover, the last mission, something comes right after. It's a living hell in my mind and I don't know if I can take it any-

"Leon?" I hear a feminine voice call me me from the side, making my gaze turn to the direction. There stands (y/n), looking over at me as if I'm sick. "Hi," she continues with a warm smile, holding her purse and jacket.

"Hey." I return almost dismissively before I turn my attention back to the counter.

"You okay?"

I scoff lightly with a small sarcastic smirk forming on my lips. "Well, could've been better."

"Is it because of earlier?" I exhale slowly as I place the glass on the counter.

"If you don't mind, I'm not in the mood to talk about it right now."

-

"You know, about what happened yesterday with Piers," I begin slowly while she sits in silence. "Don't let his words distract you. We might only work together for a really short time, but I remember how you treated my wound back at the hospital and how you took care of Carlos's cut. It showed that you are really skilled at what you do."

I can see a wide smile spread across her face at my words. "Thanks. I'm glad I've earned your trust."

I scoff at the last word that triggers further my entire mood, my lips curling up sarcastically before I turn to look at her directly.

"Just because I admire your work, doesn't mean I trust you. Don't mix it up."

That sentence alone was enough to vanish the smile on her face.

-

Truth was that no matter our start, I didn't trust you. And I made sure to tell you in any way possible. But then in Rosewood...

-

"I will take you with me," the soldier growls as he presses the side of his rifle harshly against my throat, making it difficult for me to breathe. "Either alive or dead."

I struggle beneath him, feeling my consciousness fading as the rifle is firmly pressed against my throat, cutting off the oxygen. My grip becomes weaker and weaker, but I refuse to let him put me down. I can't fucking give up now-

Suddenly, I watch two arms wrap around the soldier's neck from behind, pulling him backward onto the van, letting me roll onto my side, the oxygen piercing my lungs too suddenly as I cough. I hear the soldier choking, and multiple grunts of struggle.

My head turns towards the van to see (y/n) being shaken off from him, before he roughly dislodges her from him, tossing her backward. I watch for a moment with wide eyes.

Suddenly, I feel my strength return in an instant the moment the soldier turns around and strikes her face with the butt of his rifle, making her fall back to the van. Blood begins to roll down her nose and forearms as she groans in pure pain and agony.

Did this asshole really just hit her?

Regaining fully my hazy consciousness, I reach for my now dusty pistol. As the soldier turns around, I act without hesitation, shooting one of his knees to make him buckle. Once he falls to his knees, I take him out the same way he tried to take me.

Once he passes out, I turn my attention immediately back to her, and my hard gaze meets her. What the hell was she thinking, jumping in like that? She could've gotten killed-

...just to save me..?

-

The guilt I felt right after when you were left with a broken nose was unbearable. That day, I made a promise to myself to help you watch after yourself. So, I let you heal, then I trained you for the first time...

Yeah. That didn't go so great.

-

The moment she snaps her elbow right into my groin with force, I feel like my balls are being cut off from my body. I groan in pain, immediately releasing her, my bandaged hand clasping against my crotch, falling onto my knees.

"What the fuck-" I whisper, struggling from the pain.

"I'm so sorry, Leon- I-.."

At least it worked.

-

I caught myself looking after you without noticing it.

The weeks passed by. Your presence was starting to impact the team, watching you how willingly were helping all of us in any way you could.

Until Luis and I brought one of the infected corpses we found in Vinderline, and the letter that made you quit. And the letter that made me come after you for the first time, discovering that we're much more alike than I thought.

-

"Even if I tell you, you won't understand, Leon—"

"Try me," I insist, leaning back on one of the bar's couch.

"...One of the infectors you brought that night," she begins, speaking quietly. "The woman was pregnant."

I sit still, already predicting how this conversation will evolve. After a few quiet seconds between us, I take the first sip of my vodka. "I know."

Her eyes meet mine. "I read the letter," I complete, looking at her with a much more softened gaze.

"Try to undersand- Just seeing an innocent and harmless woman suffer, when she had her whole life ahead of her, being taken away like that..felt like a warning to me. I don't want to end up...like her, Leon."

I listen to her intently, my focus never leaving her. She got involved in something she didn't expect to see. "I know you probably think that I shouldn't react like this since I am a nurse and have seen...things but,"

"No," I respond immediately, my voice firm. "I never thought that."

"Right," she murmurs, not believing me. "The moment I read that letter, and saw how desperate she was to get out," she continues to explain. "The woman, the constant need to prove my worth to Piers, the parasite and all..." suddenly she pauses, fingers tiredly brought on the bridge of her nose. She's overwhelmed already. "...Maybe I'm a coward at the end of it.. too weak for something like th-"

"You're not a coward nor weak," I interrupt defensively, and I mean every single word. Slowly, I lean closer to her, hoping to offer her some comfort. I've been there. More than I can count. "It's okay to be afraid, you know," he says gently. "But you can't run. You gotta keep moving forward."

"That's what I'm trying to do, Leon. Move forward,"

"And you think leaving the team will help you do that?" I ask her. "Why did you become a nurse?"

Looking back at him, you furrow your brows lightly, taken aback by his sudden question.

"To help people, save lives of course. This is the only thing that keeps me in this... shit-ass field."

--

"Helping people like them, that's why I joined the force!"

--

Suddenly, I shake my head lightly, snapping back to reality immediately. Clenching my jaw, I take a generous sip from my glass. Placing it back down, he swallows the liquid, burning his throat as his eyes get pinned on the half-empty glass of crystal clear vodka.

"That means we are on the same page," I mumble, looking back at her.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that this is the reason why I followed this path in my life too. To protect innocent lives from facing the same fate as that woman, and stop the evil by any means necessary. This, is the reason why we are partners," I take a pause, my hand hesitantly reaching her shoulder, looking at her own uncertainty.

"I want you to trust me, (y/n). We will beat this. Together."

-

Since then, I started thinking about you. In a way I couldn't really explain. You were bringing glimpses of myself before I changed to the man I was forced to become.

Another part of me was wondering, if trying to bring you back to the team was a good choice. The next morning, we were on the same elevator, your bag on your shoulder for our next training session. I felt...relieved to see you back.

 But what happened in Cuba, only made me regret it to this day.

You got dragged here thanks to Hercules' manipulations. You joined the others, just to save me and Luis. Which later led you to see the shit that traumatized you for the rest of your life.

You almost got injected...

-

"Let the gift spread, and welcome our newest daughter."

-

killed by my own hands...

-

"Your sinfulness does not deserve forgiveness, foolish little girl..." I rasp those unwanted words through my gritted teeth, as I watch her struggle beneath me. The desperation for her to breathe only grows stronger, eyes widen in fear and panic as she watches me helplessly slowly taking her life.

Choked gasps come out of her throat, encouraging my fingers only to tighten further. I try to push myself and loosen them instead. I see her face in a blur, as tears begin to well up in my eyes. Tears I can't control.

-

Yet, you still stayed by my side. Till the end.

-

"We are close to the exit. Just a bit more, Leon..." I can hear her gentle encouragement to keep me on my feet.

I can't help but stumble weakly at her side, to the point of barely being able to maintain a steady posture. A tired groan slips past my lips, Saddler's voice continuously echoing in my mind and the parasite starting to take full control of me. With no longer power, I collapse onto one knee, just to feel a soft touch on my arm. There's she, draping my arm over her shoulder, desperate to get us both out of here. But I don't know how much I can keep on going.

Why is she doing this? I almost killed her...

"Just a few more steps, come on.." she rasps desperately.

I take in the despair and push every ounce of strength left in me both begin to walk- each step taken, filled with anticipation and eagerness to escape this hell. But Saddler's voice doesn't leave me alone.

"Kill the traitor...seek for vengeance of our bundle..." he tries to manipulate me while I still try to resist. The parasite acts, and my fingers around her shoulder twitch in reaction. I can't do this.

Not when I promised to protect her.

A sharp pain piercing my skull makes the suitcase fall from my hands, holding the side of my head. I grunt loudly through gritted teeth as she immediately picks up the secured samples.

"Kill her. Kill her-"

"No..." I murmur persistently, lowering my hands to witness the parasite conquerment on my palms. Raising my weary gaze, I meet her worried one and the suitcase nestled in her arms. I'm not going to take her down with me. "You go."

"You can't be serious, Leon," she says in disbelief. "Not that we are right at the exit- We are in this together, remember? You have a suitcase to deliver-"

"I trust you," I cut her off firmly with a whisper, locking her fingers around the suitcase's handle. "Go."

I can hear the parasite crinkling in response loud enough that I almost can't listen to my own voice. Saddler's only a few meters away from us.

"I'm not leaving," But she's stubborn. I should expect it after all. But just as I am too, and I won't let her die like this. It's her or neither of us. 

I persistently shake his head, taking weary steps backward towards Saddler, my gun soon pointed at the fractured ceiling. With a single gunshot, I shatter the crack, and stones begin to collapse before both of us.

No one can hurt her now. Not even me.

"Leon!" I hear her scream, but I ignore it, slowly turning around to face Saddler's monstrous form approaching me.

She and the suitcase are secured. Mission fucking accomplished. I don't care if I die now.

-

"Leon? Can you hear me?" a soft voice reverberates from the distance, while hearing between consciousness and unconsciousness a massive shooting, faint downstairs.

The sense of a soft hand holding me wakes me up. A tired grunt leaves my dry throat, eyes flutter open and my chest feels uncomfortable. My gaze meets her, her hand holding tightly mine as it seems we're inside the mansion, Luis beside her.

The moment she sees me awake, she sighs in relief and collapses on her elbows and knees, and I hear her breaking down in tears.

-

You came back and operated me in only 18 minutes. Despite your condition, the situation around us, you managed to operate me, so I won't die. When part of me, wanted to...

-

"...Looks like you really did it, after all." she quietly remarks.

"We did it," I correct you, making her look at me.

Our eyes finally meet, and I feel something stirring inside me. If she wouldn't help me in time once again, I'd be a lost case.

For the first time, I feel someone's having my back. It feels...weird.

-

"(y/n)?" I call out to her on the boat, making her halt her steps and turn towards me. Maybe...asking her out on dinner wouldn't be a bad idea. As an act of thankfulness for what she did back in the mansion...

Or do I hope for something more? No. No, I don't.

Shaking my head, I dismiss immediately that thought that popped up. "...Nothing."

She saved my sorry ass more than once. And in exchange, I just became a source of her trauma, dragging back when she wanted to leave, and almost being her murderer.

If I really want to protect her, whatever I start to think..or feel, I need to drown it. Fast.

-

It was the last time we saw each other. After that horrific night, I thought my life would be just conquered by this mission, being haunted by flashbacks as expected. 

However, by the time I was recovering, your face is what kept popping up on my head instead. I started having...unusual dreams...

-

Her moans reverberate in my ears while I thrust right into her. I groan into the crook of her neck, my eyes shut close as I focus on how good she feels, my hands palming the back of her head. I want to hold her everywhere, touch her wherever I can. Now that I finally have the chance.

Every gasp she makes matches each of my thrusts, and I can't help but leave wet kisses along her shoulder, her neck. Her fingers slip into my hair, tugging lightly, adding to the intoxicating mix of sensations. She feels so good—almost too real. 

"God..," I exhale roughly against her skin. "Fuck, I missed you."

Which is true. I missed her. More than she can ever imagine.

"I fucking..." I pant, sloppily kissing her neck. "...missed you so much."

All I keep on hearing is those mewls that make me want to come right on the spot. But I hold it back, wanting her first to experience bliss. I want to see her lose herself because of me.

"Leon...I'm gonna come," she moans urgently, and I can still feel the sensation of her nails trailing down my back.

-

Something to this day I couldn't explain. Still, I refused to find you. Because I was so fucked up mentally.

I did my first attempt...

-

'I can't see an end to this shit. The past keeps on chasing me. All these nightmares, the dead faces of hundreds of people, and the fear of living are swallowing me whole. All those years, I pass them on, just surviving...'

My pen stops, not knowing what I should write, or if I should even write in the first place. My gaze drifts to the gun resting on the coffee table, the weight of it pulling me into darker thoughts, while the memory of the recent operation lingers with the fresh gauze on my chest.

I exhale heavily, downing my drink. My jaw clenches, and my grip on the glass tightens as I can't bring myself to actually do it. Something is holding me back. Something is stopping me.

"Fuck!" I curse, slamming the glass to the parquet floor - the loud crack resonates throughout my entire place, and the glass shatters into multiple, sharp fragments.

-

It was a failure. Why? Because I remembered your tears when I opened my eyes. The relief you felt when you saw me awake. As much as I wanted to pull the trigger, you were holding me back.

The days became weeks, and weeks became months. Two months to be specific.

The more I didn't hear from you, the more I was glued to you.

-

I can't seem to get her out of my head. I think about her all the time. Wondering how she's holding up.

I always said to myself forget her. To stop whatever I feel, because not only it could never work, I end up having sex dreams of her.

She became a temporary escape from my past, and thing is...I don't want it to stop.

I try to get over it. I really do. But she's got into my skin in a way I can't explain.

"I'm so sorry I'm late. I overslept," I overhear very faintly a conversation in the back, but I'm too focused to care.

Still, a part of me is afraid to trust her. I'm used to being manipulated by women by now. Who says she isn't one of them that tries to pull the same?

Stop thinking about her. Just for tonight. I think to myself, although I know it's impossible.

I reach the glass, and lazily down it in one gulp, while the bartender walks up behind the counter.

My gaze remains on the counter, my empty now glass, slides towards the bartender, silently signaling the need for a refill, before looking up to see-

"Leon?"

"(y/n)?"

-

First thing I noticed were the changes. You got thinner, dark circles under your eyes, and exhaustion written all over your face, something way too familiar for me already. I felt like I was watching my reflection. Which was all my fault when I was supposed to protect your innocence.

Still when I saw you, my drunk self told me that seeing you again that night was fate. Or, that's what I wanted to believe.

And despite everything I did to you, you still ended up taking me to your place and take care of me...

-

"I would never do anything to hurt you," I murmur, avoiding to look at her. Instead, my thumb traces lazy circles over my scarred palm. "Anything to make you feel unsafe around me."

"I know," she responds quietly, retaking her seat next to me on the couch. "And all of that belongs to the past now. There's no need to remember such things. It's all over now. That's what matters...right?"

"Yeah," I mutter, nodding lightly. It might be all over, but I don't want her to be...scared of me. "do you feel unsafe with me right now?" the question rolls out of my tongue before I can stop it, eyes turning to look at her.

"I would never feel that way with you."

-

Without thinking straight, I let my intrusive thoughts due to alcohol act, and close the tiny distance between us, and my lips pressing against hers. My mind is empty of worries now. I can't bring myself to even care. All I'm focused is on the sensation of her lips on mine, and her scent, her skin, makes it all challenging for me to keep my hands to myself.

After a few seconds that feel like an eternity, there's a soft, wet clack as we gradually break away. Both pairs of eyes open, locking onto each other. I don't break eye contact with her, feeling myself growing hard in my jeans. My lazy, foggy gaze moves back down to her lips, breathing grows a bit heavier, finding myself leaning closer to her. My fingers reach down to trail down on her soft cheek. From the way she looks at me, something tells me she doesn't want anything to do. Most importantly, telling me that I just made a fool of myself.

Dropping my head lazily down, I sigh deeply, closing my eyes. I fucked it all up.

"I'll..I'll uh, get..the uhm.. get the thing where-.." I can hear her stammering, jumping up from the couch, feeling of course awkward. I never meant to do that to make her feel that way. "The pillows and the other stuff,"

Without any further, she rushes out of the living room, and with a low groan, my head falls back, back slumping backward as I face the ceiling for a bit.

"Why the fuck did you do that, Leon?" I murmur tiredly to myself.

-

I kissed you. But even after all that happened, my mind was conflicted. Those blurry feelings I had developed for you, that I desperately tried to bury and how I couldn't trust you at the same time. I was afraid to trust you...

-

I gasp, jolting up on the couch, my breaths come out as heavy and quick, taking a moment to comprehend my surroundings. Another nightmare haunted me, which one included Cuba specifically.

Taking in my surroundings, the memories become clearer. I'm at (y/n) place. I was drunk. Kissed her, and expected something more when in reality, I made her uncomfortable. Shit.

Removing my soaked shirt, I drape it over on the back of the couch, leaning forward on the couch, ignoring the beads of sweat from the nightmare trickling down my skin, burying my head in my hands. Just when I hoped it was another dream, this one belonged to reality.

"Leon?" my hands almost immediately leave my head, turning my head a bit, catching a glimpse of her at the entry of the living room with the side of my sight. "Good morning..."

"Hey," I mumble groggily, my hand rubbing the crown of my head. "What time is it?"

"Ten. Are you okay?"

I only hum in response.

"Just a hell of a hangover," I grunt lightly, avoiding any sort of eye contact. "I'm fine, don't worry about it."

I need to get out, before she mentions anything about the kiss. Because the last time I kissed a woman, things didn't end well.

"Are you sure? Let me get you something to drink at lea-"

"I'm sure." I insist, words coming out harsher than intended. I take a pause and sigh a bit. "I appreciate it," I add in a softer tone, clutching the arm of the couch for support. "But I should get going..."

-

"You're not a burden, Leon," she assures but I don't listen. I only take the jacket and drape it around me. "You had a rough night. Driving now in this condition is not the greatest idea. Drink some water to wake up better, I'll make something for you to eat too, and once you regain your strength you can leave if you want."

"Listen. Thanks for all the help, but let's not make this any more complicated."

"Complicated? What do you mean?"

"I mean that I appreciate you taking me in last night but you're not obligated to look after me. It's not your job."

"I never said it was," she responds. "And I didn't do it out of obligation; I simply wanted to make sure you're okay. In the end, we've been through a lot together, and you know that."

"That doesn't mean I need you or anyone looking out for me," I respond sternly. "I can handle myself."

-

"A simple 'thank you' would suffice, you know? Without this bitter 'I'm tough, I don't need anyone' act of yours. What I did is purely because I care about you, and I hate seeing you messed up like this. That's it," she explains, and I can feel the frustration building through her tone.

"Look away then. Because this is the way I am. Like it or not," I say, taking a step closer. "Now drop it. I don't need any of your damn pity."

"Pity..." she echoes while still looking at me. "I don't know what kind of past has left you with such insecurities, but not everyone is out to-"

"Don't talk about my past if you know nothing about it," I cut her off firmly. Voice low and sharp. "I said thank you but not repeat this again. End of story."

"Okay then. You're welcome. Now go back to your messed-up life and drown in whatever it is you're going through. But don't expect me to stand here and watch you self-destruct. Because this is what you do."

-

The moment I come down from my climax, I slump onto her soft couch, panting. Just then, delicate palms cup my cheeks, lifting my gaze to hers, and pulling me into a slow, tender kiss. I comply without a single protest and kiss her back.

Once we break apart, our eyes meet again. Her fingers move gently down my bare bicep, before trailing down on the center of my scarred chest.

"Do you trust me now?"

-

"I'm not just gonna leave you here...What If you get attacked? What If you need help-" Ada stops me, by placing her hand against my cheek and pushing her lips gently onto mine, her kiss catching me off guard.

Seconds pass, before she slowly pulls away, lowering her hand to the vest above my chest. "I'll be fine..don't worry about me." She quietly reassures me. "I gotta see this through-.." Her hand gets even lower, making contact with my thigh. "And I want to see you again."

I remain silent, looking down in despair. "I got plenty to live for. Trust me..."

-

"You trust that bitch?" Annette coughs out, holding onto her wounded stomach.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I ask confused, and she only shakes her head in frustration.

"She's not FBI, she's mercenary." She swallows her words, breathing loudly. "She's gonna sell it.."

-

"Kill the traitor...seek for vengeance of our bundle."

-

I chose to keep quiet and pretend the kiss was just a drunken act. I didn't know why. To protect you? Myself? Or both of us?

I chose for this to become a foggy memory, even if I remembered everything.

I ended up being an asshole. And I paid the bitter price, for pushing you away like that. For some reason, I thought it was for the best.

A few days later, I got with the others at the bar you were working. Fuck...I remember clearly how I felt actually...anxious to see you. Then, I met your niece, Irene for the first time. Loud and bubbly. A huge contrast between you..how quiet and cold you were towards me. Barely even looked in my direction. Then, your sister joined in and broke the news to Luis that you were never in a relationship. Hah. Tried to tell him from the first day you joined the base...

Then that customer comes back into my mind...and my blood still boils from the memory of that asshole who put his filthy hand on you.

-

"All ready," she announces as she pulls away the bloody gauze, tossing it on the nearby trashcan.

"Thanks," I grunt lightly as I lean back, watching her stowing away the medical supplies. My thumb grazes lightly over my bottom lip, before I look at the kitchen floor of the bar, back pressed against the wall. I don't know what to say to her. I can feel the tension between us strongly enough. Last time, we didn't end on good terms. "Thought you wouldn't want me around, after last time."

I hear her scoff softly. "After all those months working together, it seems you really don't know me at all."

She's right. Looks like I really don't. And she's got the right to be mad I suppose.

-

"...Sorry for...this," I speak up in almost a murmur. "Shouldn't have lost my temper like that."

"You really shouldn't, but...I'm actually glad you kicked this dude's ass. Idiot was asking for it with such behavior..." her words fade, and I avert my gaze once more. I don't know why I got all hazed up and went so violent on him. But when I saw him disrespecting her, touching her-

The box clicks shut, and quiet settles between us. It makes me uncomfortable for the first time. For some reason, I find myself expecting her to talk about the night at her place, but at the same time, I hope she doesn't.

Goddamn it. She fucking messed me up worse from the time she sneaked up into my life.

"Anyways, thanks again," I finally say to break the awkward silence, slowly reaching for my jacket and standing up. "I should let you get back to your work."

All she does is nod. She doesn't even say anything. Maybe, she was the one who used me after all. And the way she just ignores it, irritates me.

Swallow it, Leon. Don't let it itch you. You said you'll keep it to yourself before letting all this whatever the fuck you're feeling grow complicated.

So that's what I do. Walk away. That's what I should do. However, as my hand reaches for the kitchen door of the bar, my steps abruptly cease. My face drops to the floor, and after a brief pause, I decide to actually speak about it.

"Look, we need to talk," I declare, causing her to look up in surprise. "About that night at your place."

"Listen, all I did was offer you somewhere safe to stay the night because you were extremely drunk. I got the message: you don't want any help, and it won't be repeated."

"That's not what I want to talk about," I walk up to her, unable to stop myself from glancing at her lips before returning to her eyes. "I might have drank a lot, but I wasn't that drunk. So I sure as hell remember everything that happened before dawn."

I see her swallowing nervously. "What do you mean? Because other than that, nothing—"

"I shouldn't have kissed you," I boldly cut her stammering off. "It was wrong of me to do that. We both regret it but don't feed me the crap that it never happened," the tone in my voice grows frustrated.

"What are you talking about? We didn't kiss, Leon."

Hah. Really?

Moving closer, I stop a foot away in front of her. My expression drops, and my face hardens, questioning her blunt statement. She can't really be saying nothing happened between us when I clearly remember. She doesn't have the fucking right to mock me right in my face.

"Look at me and say that again."

Of course, she doesn't meet my eyes. She squirms on the bench, suddenly feeling uneasy.

"Leon..." she begins as she rises to her feet, but her voice trails off when she finally meets my intense gaze. And the moment she looks at me, I feel my features softening already. It's like those eyes are casting some spell on me, that makes me...vulnerable.

"Say it," I demand, though the order comes out weaker this time.

But neither she, nor I say anything else. Just look at each other, until a second later, I feel her face inching closer. My body without me noticing responds, leaning in as well, until my lips ghost on hers.

And just like that, she closes the remaining distance, reliving the very first moment we kissed. And now that I'm fully sober, it feels even better. Our lips slowly move in sync, the soft clacking sounds echoing inside give me an unfamiliar sense of calmness, and I can feel all the tension melting away. It takes great courage to not pull her from her waist, or cup her cheek.

But I can't lie and say that I regret kissing her. I never did.

Fuck. What the hell am I doing? When will you learn, Leon?

-

We kissed. Again. And then you just brushed me off like nothing even happened. It hurt me. A lot.

-

"You told her?"

"Told her what?"

"That you have feelings for her." Claire's blunt answer strikes me in a way that I almost feel embarrassed. "Even Luis figured. When are you going to realize and admit it to yourself at least?"

-

I didn't listen. I kept my feelings guarded, refusing to let my pride go down the drain. Once more, we lost contact for days. Until an invisible force brought me back to the bar.

From there, I found out how fucked up you really were, the reason you perhaps chose to brush me off. Your co-worker, Julia told me you were struggling financially, the desperate need to move to Sweden to pursue your dream as a musician.

-

"What can I get you? Drink's on the house after your heroics yesterday," Julia offers, leaning against the counter playfully.

"Appreciate it, but I'm not here for a drink, actually," I admit, looking around the bar, hopefully to catch her in my sights. But she's nowhere to be seen. "Is (y/n) here?"

"Nah, she took off a couple of hours ago," Julia replies, her eyes lingering on me. "Needed her for something specific?"

"Not anything important," I dismiss, masking my disappointment. Turning my attention back to Julia, my gaze drifts across the shelves adorned with a collection of liquor bottles. A glass of vodka could be a good solace for the moment. "But on a second thought, pour me a whiskey, yeah?"

Julia nods, moving towards the shelves where all the bottles are gathered, reaching for the famous Jack Daniels. With practiced ease, she pours a fair amount into a glass while my eyes return to the crowd.

"I hope no unwanted guests visited today."

"No, they didn't," Julia chuckles, sliding the glass towards me. "And surely not any time soon after yesterday's chaos."

"Thanks," I murmur, accepting the glass with a grateful nod before taking the first, yet thoughtful sip. My eyes move on the neat liquid swirling in the glass, my mind seemingly lost in thought, conflicted on whether I should ask Julia about (y/n) or not? It's not my place to do it after all.

Hmph...fuck it. "Can I..ask you a few questions?"

"About?"

"(y/n),"

Julia can't help but faintly smirk. Fair. Expected. "Let me guess, you're an undercover detective and she's a criminal on the run."

Hah. If she only knew. I huff out a weak chuckle. "Not really. Just a friend, trying to look out for her."

Friend. What an odd word to describe her.

Julia's grin softens into a sympathetic smile. "I get it. But truth be told, I don't think I'm the right person for that because I don't know much about her. We've only been working together for about a month. All I know is that she used to be a nurse and now she's saving up to move abroad."

My movements freeze on the spot. My brows rise in surprise at her words. "Abroad? Where?"

"Sweden," Julia says, leaning forward on the counter with crossed arms. "She wants to attend to some music school, and it's been tough for all I know."

"Like?" I continue my now interrogation.

She shrugs slightly. "I don't know the details. She didn't say. But I noticed she's been picking up extra shifts, so I figured it must've been difficult for her."

-

Next thing I knew, I was later at the bank, already withdrawing money to give them to you the next time I would see you so you could get out of this hell, when you still could. Because if I knew I'd have the chance to help you leave everything behind, I would never even kiss you in the first place.

-

"Leon, what are you doing here?" she greets me, confused.

For a bit, I just stay silent as I study her current condition. The redness her eyes held, her wet eyelids and glistened cheeks still betraying that...she was crying. "What is it?"

"I wanted to see you," I finally respond, my eyes never leaving hers. "Can I come in?" I ask her softly. She nods weakly, stepping aside for me to enter. As I walk in, I turn around and still look at her as she closes the door with extra tenderness. As if she's trying to hide her face from me.

"What did you want to see me for?"

"Just to check in on you, see how you're doing," I say, noticing how she avoids looking at me, her face meeting the floor. "You okay?"

"Mhm, yeah..I was just studying and all," I shake my head slowly in disapproval, figuring out how terrible liar she is. She's been crying, and seeing her like this? Fucking breaks me. "What?"

"Were you crying?" I ask boldly, both my hands still in my jacket's pockets.

"No, why would I?"

"I don't know. You tell me."

"I wasn't crying," she insists, but of course, I'm not dumb to believe her. "I'm fine, really."

"You're not fine," I state what I observe. "Do you want to talk about it? Or...do you want to cry it out?"

She goes silent, unable to meet my eyes. I know that look. Most importantly, I know that feeling. I take a gentle step closer to her.

"You want to cry?" I ask, my tone much softer now. She shakes her head tightly, keeping her gaze stubbornly down, but I see her she's about to crumble. And I want her to know that- I'll be the shoulder she needs.

"You can cry," I reassure her gently.

One blink, and a tear rolls down her cheek. I take another hesitant step closer, my voice a mild whisper, filled with understanding. "Come on," I encourage, my hands tenderly reaching for her arms.

Unable to hold back any longer, her face finally scrunches up, and tears begin to stream down her cheeks uncontrollably.

Seizing the chance, I gently pull her against me, letting her sink into my arms and I hold her protectively, giving her the comfort...I never had when I needed the most. I want to protect her. Protecting from ending up like me.

One hand cradles tenderly the back of her head, while the other holds her from her back. She sobs against me, feeling her tears soaking the collar of my shirt. I keep quiet. I know the pain she goes through. I know her thoughts right now. And I feel so useless because I can't do anything else to take the trauma she's left with.

"All I want...is to get away...make a new start...but life just keeps kicking my ass," she pulls away slightly, wiping the tears from her eyes with shaky hands. "Because after Cuba...fuck. I can't look at newborns anymore, I can't hold a single medical tool without those flashbacks coming back- I see Saddler's face in my sleep, and I either get injected or killed."

I only listen. Because every word that rolls out of her tongue hits home.

"It's been two only months and I'm going insane. How am I supposed to move on with my life after this? How am I supposed to recover from it?"

-

Yet, unsurprisingly, I fucked it up once again. I let my heart again control me once. Again. I became selfish enough to take advantage of your vulnerable state,

and made love to you. The same night I found out you've never been with anyone else, I became your first.

So I had to make it special at least. For both of us.

-

"Oh my god..." she breathes out, her hands slamming against my shoulders before I bring her over her very first orgasm. Her mouth hangs open, eyes shut tight, and her head falls back as she unwittingly tries to pull away from me, but my arms lock around her. I look up at her in a mixture of lust...affection and awe. A breathless chuckle leaves me, and a smile appears on my lips.

She's so...-

I get distracted the moment her walls grasp around me. It takes every ounce to not finish still, but my own climax is hanging by a thread.

"F-fuck...!" In a swift motion, I roll her over, bringing himself atop her once more.

I shove my face into the crook of her neck as I thrust deep inside her. My arms both cage the sides of her head while my eyes are shut. I become too vocal, grunting and huffing against her. With each breath, I smell her scent. Her earlier cries of pain about the past now turn into moans of ecstasy of the present.

"Gonna- fucking come-" a few last short and quite harder thrusts, and I begin to pulsate, hips stutter, and hot liquid fills the thin latex, accompanied by low, guttural groans.

The moment I come into the condom, I slow down my stuttering pace, our foreheads resting together, before I tiredly collapse against her. I can hear her panting, feel her heartbeat beating against mine, and the heat radiating from both our bodies. Her fingers slowly reach down and gently scratch my damp back, before locking around my waist. This is one of the most comforting feelings I ever felt. I don't want her to stop.

Pulling away just to look at her, I press a soft, tender kiss under the dim lights. Breaking apart, I don't make the move to pull out just yet, but lower myself once more and hug her. Her fingers now finding the back of my head to play with my hair.

I was craving for affection. Her affection.

Once we're both calmed down, I slowly prop myself on my elbow to look down at her state. "Are you okay?" I ask, concerned. "I didn't hurt you, did I?"

"No," she assures me, her fingers slowly fixing my tousled hair.

"Do you...regret it?" I ask next, hesitantly.

She looks at me for a few seconds, before she responds, "I don't," and then, she leans up and kisses my lips. I close my eyes, melting into the touch, leaning my body back down to kiss her back.

As we break apart, her thumb traces over my wet bottom lip, while I look into her face under the dim light of the moon radiating in her bedroom.

I don't know how to explain what I'm feeling. It's almost odd to even believe this is real.

"Can you stay for the night?" she whispers pleadingly at me. "Please."

I look at her for a few quiet seconds. I just took her virginity, made love to her, and opened myself to her in ways she might not even notice, and she expects me to leave? I'm not that type of guy. Never will be.

"I wasn't planning on leaving," my voice comes out in the same volume as hers.

And so I did keep my word. I didn't leave. Instead, I stayed by her side, specifically having her laid against my chest, my fingers toy with the ends of her hair absently, while my brain was wide awake.

The regret starts to hit me gradually as I realize what happened. We had sex. We did it when I promised to myself to let her go after everything Julia told me.

I look down at her, eyes closed as her shoulders move from her shallow breathing. I

In only months, this woman has carved me permanently both physically and mentally. But if I truly care for her, I know that I can't be selfish and let her go. Even if in reality...

I don't want her to leave.

-

And so I did. The next morning, when I confronted you about Sweden, you seemed hesitant. Made you think about whether you should choose me or your future. And it's my fault.

I had to end it. For your sake.

-

"Then what do you suggest?"

I take a deep breath, my hand dropping from my belt, conflicted on what to do. But I can't bring myself to choose what I want. Not when my life can bring hers to danger.

"I think it's best if we... let this go, before whatever's between us grows any deeper."

Fuck. As if it hadn't grown any deeper since last night. Since the first time we even kissed.

"You can't be serious..." I hear her murmur, looking down at the sheets.

Why does this hurt more than I allow it?

"Don't make this any harder than it already is." I finally speak up, turning towards her.

"Do you even want me to stay?" she boldly asks, her frustration starting to peek through.

I look away, shaking my head. "It doesn't matter what I want-"

"Just give me a damn straight answer for once," she interjects. "Because for a month now, we've been going around in circles. I just want to know how you feel about me. Is that too much to ask?"

Of course I want you to fucking stay...

-

"This University you'll go...will help you start new. Away from parasites, away from cults, away from everything that's made you the mess you were yesterday. Isn't this what you wanted?" I explain, taking a step closer to her.

At her silence, my fingertips gently lift her gaze from her chin, just so I can see her eyes. "I don't want to become an obstacle to you, especially when neither of us knows if we'll last."

I know we won't last. My life's too fucked up already, and I'm dragging you down with me in each moment you pass it with me.

"Right...no uh- I guess you're-...you're right," she murmurs, averting her gaze away from me. "Plus, your job is...pretty demanding and all, I'll be out for four years..." looking at me once more, her voice grows quieter at the question. "So...this is it?"

Is this truly it?

"...I guess," I return in the same volume.

-

"Leon," I hear her call out gently, but I still face away, hand on the doorknob. "I meant every word I said earlier. I don't regret a single thing..."

Leon's response is silence, his head bowed as he processes your words. Then, with sudden determination, he turns around and kisses you, pouring out all the emotions he can't put into words.

I feel her respond to the kiss, feeling her leaning backward, as if she tries to pull me back in. But at the very last minute, we both pull away and my arms immediately encircle her tightly.

"Take care of yourself," I whisper into her ear tenderly.

"You too..."

-

"...She...reminds me of myself, a lot," I murmur, thumb tracing over the carved glass. "From being hopeful to becoming hopeless. The way she acts, the things she says..." I trail off, forgetting for a moment that I'm talking my mind to Luis. "And last night when I saw her crying for the first time, something just snapped...I couldn't bear seeing her ending up in the shit I am in,"

Looking back at Luis, I add with pure vulnerability and desperation, "It terrifies me how much I care about her."

"It's certainly not because she reminds you of yourself," Luis responds, his tone serious as he considers my confession. "You're in love, Leon."

-

I didn't want to admit it. I can't admit it. I'm not...allowed.

This invisible thread kept pulling us back together too. The day we decided to end everything before it even began, I found you back at the base. Scared. Shaken up. And our first time was the first thing that came up to my mind.

You were being targeted by Umbrella. Without brooking argument, I took you to my place.

I wouldn't let anyone hurt you. That is my sole job

-

I'm snoozing on the couch, the TV in the background murmuring absently. My holster still strapped to my shoulders, a reminder to keep watch, to stay vigilant for her.

The need to get back in the bedroom to her has been a constant itch. Last night's memories are all I can think about from the time I got on the couch. But I know in my position, in my life, there's no 'we', and I can't do shit now.

The quiet of the house is interrupted by the sound of a door creaking open. My eyes remain shut, but I hear the delicate footsteps approaching, light and careful. I sense a shadow falling over me even through my closed lids. Then, a blanket is draped gently over me, followed by the soft click of the TV being turned off, leaving the living room wrapped in stillness.

I can feel her presence, her eyes on me. She's...watching. Then, I can feel her lean closer to me, and I try my best to stay still.

Her hand slowly glides against my cheek, leaving a trail of warmth before her lips replace it with a tender kiss. That touch... it melts me. It's her tenderness, this familiar now affection that makes me,

fall in love with her further.

As her steps retreat, I slowly open my eyes, watching her get back inside my bedroom. The door clicks, and almost immediately, I sit up. My eyes lingering at the door as I push the covers aside. I stand up, loosening the knot of my sweatpants and remove the holster from my shoulder.

My steps are soft as I approach the bedroom, my hand gently pushing the door open just enough to peek inside. She's curled up on my side of the bed.

I can feel myself smiling weakly. How this bed seems...empty. Without...me.

-

Yeah. Luis was right. I was falling for her. No matter how much I tried to stop it.

-

"I'm.....falling for you..." I pant out those words, unable to control them against her whimpering lips as she rides me. "I fucking am.."

"Then keep making love to me."

-

"And what will happen...with us?" she asks, raising her head to meet my eyes. "...I don't want to be away from you, Leon."

"I don't want that either," I finally confess, letting my walls crumble completely. My knuckles reach to brush her cheek. "You...you're the first good thing that happened to me in a long time."

-

I felt like everything vanished. Just for one moment. It felt unusually satisfying telling you this. It felt amazing when I fell asleep in your arms. The first time I didn't have a nightmare, or anything involving the past.

Except for you.

-

"Leon..." I hear her moaning in the middle of the night, squirming under the covers as she breathes heavily. "No.."

I stir slowly at the sound. As the noise becomes louder, I rub the sleep away from my eyes and watch her struggle.

"(y/n)?" I murmur, but she doesn't respond. I see her hands grasping on her throat, struggling to breathe. "Leon- st....stop!" she unexpectedly shouts, her nails grazing down her neck.

Quickly, I hold her from her wrists, and pull them away from her throat, her breath heavy and quick. At my touch, her eyes flicker open, but she still seems lost.

"It's okay. It's alright..." I soothe her, loosening my hold on her.

She was dreaming of me...killing her?

Gradually her breathing eases, and slowly lies fully back down on the mattress. Gently, I reach for the blankets to tuck her in, before I pull her with extra tenderness against my chest. "You're alright..."

God knows if this was her first time facing nightmares.

-

I woke up with you by the side of my bed. It felt unusually comforting. The sight of you sleeping right next to me was one of the most peaceful moments. And you seeming calm after the nightmare you had, was something to comfort me further.

-

Turning to her side, I let my fingers trace softly down her cheek, careful not to wake her. Her skin is warm beneath my touch, and I feel a surge of affection as I gently reach for the blanket, pulling it higher to cover her bare body. Propping myself up on one hand, I watch her in the quiet, peaceful in her sleep.

It's then that I notice something behind her—an old book, resting next to a picture frame. My picture frame. The one from when I was only 20. A small smile tugs at my lips as I carefully reach over her to pick up the novel that's apparently hers.

I open it to the bookmarked page, my eyes scanning the words. The scene describes the protagonists sharing breakfast in bed after making love for the first time. The simplicity of it, the tenderness in that moment, makes me glance back at her sleeping form, and suddenly an idea sparks in my mind.

I want this—our 'second' morning together, waking up side by side. I want you to know, without any doubt, that I could never hurt you.

Only love you. Just like you did.

-

"... I meant everything I said last night, so I will do...anything to keep you safe..and smiling," I slowly cup her cheek. "Always remember that."

"Can I say something then?"

I frown slightly, and before I can respond, her arms encircle me, wrapping around my neck into a tight hug. I grunt in surprise as we accidentally topple onto the bed, the breakfast I surely worked for a lot getting a bit messy, but I think neither of us truly care. I just allow myself to slowly hug her back while I look up at her.

"That the feeling is mutual. Like very much."

"I think I figured that out by now," I jest, my hand sliding down on the small of her back.

"Yeah, but it feels so good that I get to tell you that I'm...in love with you," she murmurs playfully, accompanying it with a soft kiss on my cheek. "And just so you know, I'm a hopeless romantic,"

"First time I see one up close," I quip still, eliciting a chuckle from you.

"So I'm planning on telling you every day in any way I can."

-

Those moments at my place, made me become myself again. You in my home, were my comfort place.

And I would do anything to keep that smile on you. To make you see me the way I saw you.

-

"She's a bit shy right now, until she gets used to new people," Vera holds her from her small hand as Irene looks at me. "This is Leon, he's auntie's friend and brought something for you."

Even though, we know each other, I offer a weak smile, feeling Irene's eyes on my damaged lip. It seems to scare her perhaps..or not. Not that I blame her. She's just a kid after all.

Kneeling down to her level, I watch her as she approaches shyly, not letting go of Vera's hand. I don't say anything, but instead hold out the present.

"Happy birthday."

-

"What do we say, Irene?"

"Thank you, Uncle Leon," she says in her sweet voice, her attention now barely on me, seeming already engrossed in the present I got her for her 7th birthday.

My smile fades as she calls me Uncle. Uncle...could I ever be her...actual uncle?

I clear my throat at the thought, and slowly get back on my feet.

-

For the first time, I didn't think about the future with you but chose to live the present. The lingering thought of you leaving me behind after all this...was a thought I decided to push away.

-

"My niece loves the banana-strawberry combo," she says with a soft smile, pouring the mashed banana into the creamy milk mixture. I stand beside her, leaning casually against the counter, watching as she expertly finishes up the milkshakes. "It's delicious and healthy," she adds, placing a straw into one and handing it to me.

I chuckle quietly, accepting the glass. Taking a small sip, the sweetness of the fruit mix washes over my tongue, dulling the lingering bitterness of whiskey from earlier. It's too sweet for my liking, but I smile.

"So?" she asks eagerly, her eyes shining with anticipation.

I nod, swallowing the creamy drink. "It's good. Sweet," I lie smoothly. "I like it."

She takes a sip from her own glass, testing her creation. Her lips curve into a pleased smile, and she hums softly in satisfaction.

"I think I outdid myself," she laughs, her voice light and infectious.

I can't help but smile too. Her laugh—it's something I could listen to forever.

"So," I suggest, leading her toward the living room, "how about we watch a movie? It'll help us escape reality for a bit, just like you said."

She hums thoughtfully as she sinks into the couch, her eyes twinkling with curiosity. "Hmm... Maybe. But honestly, I'd prefer to know more about you- only if you're comfortable, I mean."

-

It was difficult. Too challenging. But I talked to you. Told you that I was orphaned from a young age, and opened up about my whole past. Even about my hopes and dreams. And what you did...

You wrapped your arms around me...

-

Her arms wrap around my neck, looking at me with teary eyes.

-

You kissed my lips...

-

She then follows with a tender kiss on my lips.

-

And lastly, you told me something that I needed to hear from someone, for a long time.

-

"You have me now. Right?"

-

That was our last tender moment. Since then, our relationship- or whatever we had, only started going downhill. Umbrella ambushing us at night, you watching me kill someone that isn't a damn zombie, how shaken up you were when we arrived at the base.

And Hercules. That piece of shit...asking you out on a "friendly dinner" like nothing happened back in Cuba.

-

"Have I done something?" she asks.

After a few seconds, I finally decide to speak up, and be straight up with her. "You tell me," I respond, sitting down on the bench and shoving my boxing gloves into my bag with frustration.

"Tell you what?"

"Tell me why you would go out to dinner with someone who abandoned you without hesitation."

She frowns, seeming confused. "Are you talking about Hercules?"

"Yes, I am."

"Is this the reason you're...mad at me?"

Tossing the second glove carelessly inside, I catch myself in a moment. Why am I really mad at her? For being clueless? Or because she'll go out with Hercu- "Just tell me." I cut off sharply my thoughts as I stand up.

"It's just a friendly dinner between two colleagues, that's all," she explains casually, but I scoff sarcastically.

"'Friendly dinner', huh?"

"I really don't understand why you're acting like this right now-"

"You can't be really asking me that question," I interrupt as I step closer to her. "Hercules forced you to follow him and left you behind when you trusted him. If I weren't going to come after you, you'd be dead. Do you understand that?"

"This is why he asked me out, Leon. To make it up to me—"

"If he wants to really make it up to you, he'll have to make sure to not get you killed next time," he interrupts with a bitter comment as he leans back, walking back towards his bag. "Not take you out on some cheap date."

"It's not a date," the way she insists really starts to piss me off.

"You're really that naive? Or do you just want to believe that?"

"I'm not naive and I don't only believe that. I know so. I would say no if it was a date," she responds defensively. "And why are you being so defensive? As far as I remember, we're not together."

That last sentence feels like a sudden punch in the gut. A hard slap to my face. After how I opened up to her, she still doesn't understand that she's one of the most important things in my life right now?

My head drops, a bitter huff escaping my lips as my arms fall loose to my sides. With a curt nod, he looks back up at you. "I thought when I made love to you—" I pause remembering that her future is what matters. Not me.

"I'm...I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way-"

"No, you're right. We're not together after all. You're free to go out with whoever you want."

"Leon..."

"Let's get back to training."

-

I was jealous. I really was. And for the following weeks, I've been only watching you getting closer and closer with Hercules. And truth is I'm glad things ended up this way. You'd numb the pain.

Until you started acting...odd. In our training sessions, I could see how easily you were getting tired. Asked Claire, and she told me you were constantly nauseous. Even passed out once.

The first thing I thought of was the possibility of overworking you. Maybe, it was the constant stress we were all swallowed in. Or...something more serious that I didn't even want to imagine.

Then...the mission at Hilton happened. Carlos died in our arms. Which made things worse. And Hercules, found the perfect chance to corner you and made me doubt you.

-

"Look at you. She's dragging you by your dick and you follow like a lost dog." Hercules sneers, gaze locks with hers, cold and merciless. "You heard Carlos' last words: don't trust...her."

"Shut up," I growl, my finger hovering over the trigger.

"Face it, Leon. You were nothing but a pawn. Turn her to your side, so she can perhaps take you to Umbrella. Have you ever thought of that?"

-

I believed him. I did...

-

"What are you doing?"

"Leaving," she coldly says.

"It's not safe-"

"So?" she interrupts me sharply, turning around to look me with a gaze I never seen on her before. "I'm the goddamn mole of the team who secretly works for Umbrella, remember? And you apparently...believe Hercules over me as well. Don't you?"

I sigh, running a hand through my face. "It's not...-" I start, fumbling for words. I don't know what to believe at this point. "Those papers-"

I catch myself stumbling at my own words. I was always cautioning her about Hercules. And now, I end up believing him instead.

"I opened up my fucking heart to you, Leon, more than once! I trusted you with my life. More than once! I gave you...my love for fuck sake!"

Her words stab me right into the heart, already regret overflows me for doubting her.

I take one step closer to her, but she shakes her head, in unfamiliar disgust.

"You know what, Leon? Fuck you," she spits out, turning back to packing.

For a moment, I stand shocked, taken aback from how things suddenly escalated between us. Should I stop her? Or really let her leave this time...?

"I can't believe," she mumbles, shoving her stuff inside. "I almost gave up my damn dream for your ass,"

My brows furrow in confusion. "...What?"

"Yeah, you heard me," her laughter bitter and mirthless. "I was actually considering giving up on Sweden and stay here for you. How stupid is that?"

Those words felt like a wake-up call. I've been a piece of shit, pushing her away because I was scared of losing her. And now I lose her, because of...me.

"But you know what? You've just made it so much easier. I'm leaving. I'm getting away from all this bullshit!"

As she reaches for her bag, something in me snaps. My jaw clenches as I lunge forward, grabbing the unzipped bag, my hand closing around the handle just as she does.

I'm going to tell her everything. I'm going to tell her that I-

I love her. That I want to be with her. I want her in my life more than anything.

"You're not going anywhere-"

"Let it go-!"

But I don't listen. In a swift move, I yank the bag from her grasp, tossing it aside before grabbing her arm. My hold is firm, almost bruising, betraying my pure desperation. "We will talk about this," suddenly, I pull her close to me. "I don't want you to leave- I want you here, with me..." my voice breaks, becoming a weak, pleading whisper as my thumbs caress the sides of her jaw with heartbreaking tenderness.

I try to say those three words. Still, they fail to leave my mouth. Come on, Leon. She's not one of them.

"But I don't want to be here for another second," she harshly shoves my hands away from her face. "We're done, Leon."

-

And this is what brought us to that day. To that moment....

-

I carry her outside, Umbrella's headquarters behind us collapses into pieces. In the distance, I can hear the soldiers' screams while being burnt alive. However, no matter what, my focus remains on her.

"Come on..." I encourage with a grunt. My steps are slow, unsteady, yet my arm is firmly around her waist, refusing to leave her behind. In my head, I'm panicking. I am. I don't want anything to happen to her. I won't take it.

The lines on her skin are a bright shade of purple, dismorphing the color of her skin.

"Stay with me. Alright?...I'm getting that parasite off from you." I rasp at her as I attempt to ease her. Just a little bit more, and we'll be free.

Her eyes flutter open, watching me through her fogged eyes as we near to a safe zone. Away from the corporation's headquarters.

"Leon..." she calls out weakly, looking at my wounded bicep. "Your arm..." Her hand reaches out, feebly attempting to apply pressure to the wound.

Even when she's dying in my arms, she still puts my well-being above her own.

"I'm fine," I assure through strained and ragged breaths. "You focus on staying awake. Okay?"

Just then, another loud explosion comes from far behind us, making me stumble from the hot air blowing at both of us, a pained groan escaping my lips as I nearly collapse. But with herculean effort, I regain my footing and press on.

My legs try to give in, but I push on..and on...and on.

"You better stop right there, Leon," a voice suddenly echoes through the chaos behind me, making my steps halt. Slowly, I turn around and find Ada pointing her gun in our direction.

"What the hell are you doing, Ada," I snarl lowly, panting.

"Saving you the trouble," she casually responds. But I can see concern on the look of her face. Still, her words enrage me. "Look at her. She's gone. Put her down."

I scoff. "I'm not doing it..." Ada slowly cocks her pistol, and my fingers only tighten around (y/n).

"Don't make me take matters into my own hands, Leon," Ada repeats slowly. "Put. Her. Down."

Hearing her soft moans of pain, my gaze is drawn down to her face. Her eyes are barely open, the dead parasite dragging it down with her, inking her skin.

Is she even...my (y/n) anymore?

A lump rises in my throat, and the exhaustion threatening to collapse me becomes almost unbearable. But I can't—won't—let her go. I promised to protect her, no matter the cost. Even if it means giving my own life.

But Ada isn't backing down. I know what she's capable of. Reluctantly, I lower her, placing her gently on the ground, though she can barely stand on her feet. I move in front of her, shielding her with my body. I won't let Ada take her from me.

Ada's brows twitch, her gaze flicking away momentarily, clearly frustrated with my resistance. Her gun, still pointed at me, wavers slightly, but I see her fingers tighten around the grip.

"This is your last chance," she says, her voice harder now. "Leave her behind and walk away. I don't want this to get any worse."

"I'm not doing shit," I growl, gritting my teeth, standing my ground.

Ada's eyes scan me, taking in the sight of my beaten, filthy body. There's hesitation in her movements, and for a second, I think she might lower her weapon completely. But then, her gloved fingers grip tighter.

"You give me no choice, Leon," with that, she raises her gun back at us, and I make a poor attempt to stop her, by moving towards her.

"ADA!"

*Gunshot*

The gunshot goes off and I freeze in place. I look down at me, seeing the bullet had missed me, or, she chose to 'scare me off'. Looking back up, I watch Ada walking away from me, towards a chopper that descends to pick her up, nonchalant of the mess she has left behind.

I frown in confusion until I hear soft gasps, struggling for air behind me. My head snaps around, and my blood runs cold in my veins at what I face... (y/n)'s hand on her chest, while blood pours like water on the side of her stomach, staining her clothes.

I let out a shaky "No..." at the realization. Without a moment's hesitation, I rush towards her crumpling form, catching her before she collapses. I let her body fall into my arms, both of us gradually sinking down together onto the dusty ground.

Her eyes are wide with confusion at the gunshot as she stares up at the night sky, the moonlight casting an ethereal glow across her dirt and blood-streaked features...a harsh reminder of the torture we went through only moments ago.

I hold her as gently as I can, not wanting to trigger her open wound.

"What...what was that?" she asks as if the gunshot has snapped her back to wakefulness. Back to our nightmarish reality.

"That was nothing," I lie, glancing behind me, watching Ada leaving, the skin on my face changing from the fire's lighting before I look back down at her. "Just another..explosion."

She huffs out a pained breath, finding ease in the twinkling stars and glowing moon above. "Oh...so we did it..." she manages to whisper, her gaze drifting from the moon to meet mine. "We did it...once again..."

She suddenly seems so lost. But I go along with her.

"Yeah...we did it," I grunt, gently helping to support the back of her neck against my arm, making sure she's looking right at me. I need her to know I'm here, right by her side. That seeing my face will vanish her fear. "It's over."

Our eyes meet. She smiles. Weakly. But she still smiles no matter what. And she has the most beautiful smile.

My...beautiful girl.

In a matter of seconds, my palm gets coated in her blood. The hot, red liquid pooling over her clothes, while her face looks up at me with a pang of helplessness. For the first time, I'm at a complete loss. I don't know what to do.

I'm afraid. More than I have ever been. And Chris with Hercules? Are nowhere to be seen.

"But so is...Piers...Claire-.."

Her face suddenly winces as her hand accidentally brushes against the source of the wetness pouring from her stomach. "Leon..." she mutters, her fingers weakly grazing over the area before lifting them up, fresh blood trickling down her trembling digits. "I'm-"

That's when panic begins to set her in, and tears begin to stream down. "I'm bleeding....Why...am I bleeding?"

"Don't look down there. Look at me," I urge her again, trying to gently tilt her chin up, but it's too late.

The moment her eyes land on the gushing wound, they widen in sheer terror and disbelief. Her calming breaths turn into small, frantic gasps.

"Leon..." She calls out my name in pure despair as I'm on my own desperate attempts to calm her. "I'm going......to....die-"

"You're not going to die," I growl out roughly, my fingers finding her cheek in an extremely tender touch. Light.

My own tears well up, blurring my vision, but I'm too damn stubborn to let them fall. I need to help her. Pressing my other palm firmly against her stomach, I try to staunch the bleeding.

"I don't want.... to die...." she begins to sob uncontrollably.

I can't bear to hear her like this. Her cries are killing me inside.

I find myself unable to respond, a lump forming low in my throat. The way she admits her fear so brokenly, so vulnerably...it makes me feel completely and utterly useless. All I can do is hold her tighter.

"You're not..." Despite my gruffness, my voice cracks. "You'll be okay. And we'll get the help you need..." I try to soothe her the best I can. "And you're gonna be just fine," I try to steer the conversation elsewhere, anything to take away the fear from those eyes. "Okay?"

But she doesn't believe me and shakes her head hopelessly. "Leon..." She calls my name again, helpless. "I don't want...to die..." It's all she repeats through her heavy sobs as the panic fully takes over.

I can't bear...hearing those fucking cries anymore.

"Like hell I'll let you," I growl, looking down at how the dead parasite's veins have conquered her skin. "You're stuck with me now. Just keep looking at me," I insist, and finally her eyes meet mine once more.

"Okay..." Her sobs turn to hiccups as my hand stays firmly pressed against the bullet wound, her hand covering mine, her gaze locked on me.

"That's about it," I coo in a whisper, forcing a weak smile. "I'm right here, aren't I?"

She hums between hiccups. "Mhm." Helplessly, I lift my head, searching our surroundings for any sign of Hercules or Chris - the only other survivors...and supposedly team. But there's not a goddamn trace of them.

They left us behind.

"Leon," she speaks up again, pulling my focus back to her with that faint, pained voice. "I want you to know...that you..."

"Don't talk," I order firmly, the waver in my tone betraying the fear gripping me faster than I try to control. She obeys, falling silent as my hand finds her wounded stomach again. White-hot anger and searing pain war inside me, knowing damn well Hercules is behind this. "Just keep those eyes open for me, okay?" I continue, my voice taking a pleading tone, my fingers tightening around her hand.

But she goes on,

"...I love you...okay?..." my breath hitches, and my heart stops at her broken confession. "I love you so much...and...I'm sorry for-"

I bow my head, letting my hair curtain the tears that roll freely down my cheeks now. "...don't talk...please-"

"I...I want to live...I don't want...t-to leave you alone..."

Alone...

"You're not going anywhere," I rasp fiercely into her hair. "You hear me? We're gonna get through this together, like we always do. So don't you dare give up on me now..." I finally say, lifting my head and cupping her cheek, careless of letting her see me messed up. My voice trembles with emotion.

Fuck. What the hell am I doing? Sit here and cry like a damn baby when she's fading in my arms. I need to be calm for her sake. I need to be her rock.

I take a deep breath, forcing myself back into some facade of control. My voice steadies as I slip back into the familiar role of protector, of problem-solver, and jump into action.

"I'll carry you now to the truck," I begin to instruct while I take action. I carefully make her back lie against my chest as I retrieve my knife. "We're gonna drive back to the base, and Hercules will operate you," I cut off the sleeve of my shirt, then gently lift hers. "Make you better," I promise, securing the makeshift bandage around her waist and accidentally making her wince. "And then...we will leave. Together. For Sweden."

Her eyes light up through the weariness. "Together?"

"Mhm," I sniffle again, smiling down at her. "We'll start a new life."

She huffs out a watery laugh, smiling through her tears once more. I know she's imagining it, just like I am - the life we both crave to have.

"Together..." she huffs weakly.

"Together."

"Then....I'll stay....awake.......for my mom..."

I sniffle as I listen to her. "...my....crazy sister....my Irene...." her words are growing fainter, breaths more shallow. "I missed her..." looking back at me, she slowly reaches for my cheek. "But mostly for you....so we can....Leon...."

But it only takes my name to become her final word. Despite her promise, her smile slowly fades, color draining from her beautiful face, the light she radiates through her eyes, shutting down.

"No...no, no..." I shift her limp form against me, grunting as I shake her softly. "Come on, don't do that to me now." My voice raises in desperation as I watch her grow paler, her eyes gradually closing. "Keep your eyes open for me please..." I beg, my tone cracking as panic conquers me completely. I pat her cheek urgently, frantically trying to keep her conscious.

"You're all I have...come on!"

But she goes out cold in my arms. She won't die. She won't!

With every ounce of strength I have left, I let out a muffled, exhausted growl as I pick her up into my arms. The stabbing pain in my bicep, the numerous wounds covering my body are nothing—none of it matters compared to watching her slip away before my eyes.

I'm going to save her. And once I do, I'm taking her out of here.

-

I stumble down the grey corridors, each step feeling heavier than the last as my adrenaline wears off. The sleeves of my shirt are ripped and tightly wrapped around her stomach, trying ineffectively to stanch the bleeding. I'm on the verge of collapse, but I can't give up. Not when she's counting on me.

Panting harshly, I finally reach the closed silver door of the base's entrance. She's still unconscious in my arms, her shallow breaths the only sound besides my own ragged gasps.

"Open the door..." I rasp out, jaw clenched tight, not bothering to try and reach the hand scanner. I can't put her down, not for a second. Instead, I lean against the door, but even now, I'm getting no fucking help. My mind goes hazy, and I let my pent-up rage take over. "Open this FUCKING DOOR!" I begin to kick it harshly, stumbling backward from the force.

Seconds later, it slides open with Hercules' filthy hand on the scanner. Chris stands behind him, tears still fresh on his face from Claire's loss. Part of me wants to lash out at them both for leaving us for dead, but not when she's dying in my arms.

Without so much as acknowledging their presence, I stride past them towards the operating room. Getting inside, my chest tightens at the sight of the sheet draped over Claire's still form on a stretcher near the operating chair.

I look down at (y/n)'s pale face once more. I don't want her to end up like Claire. I won't let her become another victim, not on my fucking watch.

Without another moment of delay, I stride over to the operating chair and gently lay her down, her blood smudged up across my clothes and skin. My hands are shaking, but I force myself to meet Hercules' gaze head-on.

"Operate her," I demand breathlessly Hercules.

But he just stands there, frozen in shock, his eyes never leaving (y/n). At his irritating silence, I clench my jaw, my face curls in disgust and it takes great patience not to punch the fuck out of him. Instead, I draw my gun with trembling hands and level it at him. "Fucking operate her!" I snarl threateningly, the words ripping out of my throat in a mix of despair and impatience.

Hercules gives a shaky nod, finally snapping into action as he rushes over to the chair. I barely register Chris trailing after me as I back out of the room, the door hissing shut behind us as Hercules begins prepping the medical tools.

The second we're alone, I don't even acknowledge Chris's presence. I just grab a nearby chair, sinking into it as my elbows come to rest on my knees, hands clasped tightly together. My eyes stay locked on that door, unblinking, unwavering, and completely unbothered by my own condition.

I'm not moving a goddamn inch until Hercules walks back out and tells me she pulled through. I'll sit here for an eternity if I have to. Losing her isn't an option—it's not something I can survive again.

-

Three hours. I've been rigid for three hours, my mind still unable to process everything that had happened in just one night.

Wearily, I sit up straighter, my back pressing against the hard chair as I take in the empty seats surrounding me. This table used to be full of life—Carlos, Piers, Claire...even Luis. All of them gone now, taken so unfairly. The silence is loud.

Suddenly, the door to the operating room slides open with a creak. I'm on my feet in an instant, watching as Hercules peels off his blood-stained gloves.

I don't say anything, just look at him with waited breath.

He looks at Chris first, who's not been reactive at all after Claire's loss. He then looks at me, following with a resignated shake. "I'm...sorry..."

The floor seems to drop out from under me. My legs give way and I collapse back into the chair, my breath coming in short, sharp gasps. This can't be happening. Not her.

Looking back up at Hercules, I rasp, "No," my voice is barely a whisper. "That's not fucking possible. She was breathing when I brought her in," I jump up from my chair, grabbing him from the collar of his shirt. "What kind of a fucking doctor are you?!"

"I tried, Leon!" Hercules shoves my hands away, noticing an unfamiliar look of guilt in his gaze. "She didn't make it."

She didn't...

----

- 1 Year Later -

"Sir. Sir!"

The harsh reality of the present crashes back over me, all the rememberings of our story disappear at the voice. I lean back, looking around to find myself inside a forgotten bar, a photograph of her forgotten in my hand.

The bartender's voice pulls me fully back to the present. "I said we don't have bananas. Would you like a plain strawberry milkshake?"

I look at him like a lost fool, I come back to reality that she's now just a memory...

"I uh- sure," I respond slowly, the bartender nods and walk away, leaving me alone. She hated when I was drinking, so I'm trying the best I can to stop.

I haven't touched my whiskey bottle in months, afraid even that I'll forget her even for a moment.

I sigh, running a hand through my head, before I open the last pages of one of the novels I got from her bedroom.

He trailed his fingers slowly against her arm, caressing her soft skin as he admired the view he was facing. His gaze lowered to his lover's head that was laid on his chest. Her eyes were closed, sleeping peacefully in his arms.

He couldn't take his eyes off her. He couldn't be more thankful that a woman like her would ever change his life for the better. He couldn't be anything else but madly in love with her.

After all the obstacles they went through, this whole scene seemed too good to be true. But there he is, lucky enough to experience a reality like this one.

At that moment, he knew that there was no limit to happiness. There was always room for more....

If the circumstances were different, I'd give her the love she craved.

Only if...

Slowly, I sneak the photo back inside that page, and with a light thud I close it. My thoughts dissolve like clouds from my phone vibrating inside my jeans' pocket. Reaching out, I see the specific contact name. From that I can tell, they made up their mind...

----

Stepping out of my jeep, I fix my jacket while I walk towards the backseat. Opening the door, I let Irene, Ava, and Vera step out, while Aiden walks out of the passenger's seat. Once they're out, we both reach the back of my car, taking out their luggage.

It was about time they left. After everything that happened, it would only leave open wounds for the family. Especially for Vera. Her screams of pain and sorrow at the funeral still ring in my mind. Even after a year later.

"Why didn't Auntie come?" Irene's innocent voice pipes up as she clings to Aiden's hand. Ava and Vera turn knowing eyes my way, and I feel a wave of unease. Another lie is already taking shape in my mind.

"You know how it is," I murmur, walking slowly beside her while carrying Vera's suitcase. "She's been extremely busy with her new job."

No one has told her about (y/n)'s passing. We've all been feeding her excuses at this point. She's far too young to bear that burden, and Ava figured it'd be best if Irene simply forgot about her naturally now that they're moving to England. Perhaps once she's older, they'll tell her the truth.

However, (y/n) has already impacted Irene in a way that something tells me she won't forget her anytime soon.

A heavy silence settles over us as the five of us approach the airport gates. I set down Vera's luggage, while Aiden exchanges final farewells with Irene. In the meantime, Ava turns to face me first, Vera hovering protectively at her daughter's side. I can feel her gaze right pinned on me.

"Alright, baby, up we go," Aiden coos in the background, scooping Irene into his arms."You listen to mommy, okay?"

"Leon, thank you for...for looking after us this whole time. Helping with Irene..." Ava's voice is barely above a whisper as she glances over at her family, her eyes filled with a mixture of gratitude and sadness. "Thank you for...for everything you've done for us. For helping with Irene, for being there...this whole time."

I give a curt nod, desperately trying to maintain my composure. Inside, I'm falling apart, but I can't let it show. Not now.

"No need to thank me. I did what I had to do," I try to brush it off casually, stuffing my hands into my pockets.

Everything I've done it was all for her....and them.

Ava leans in slowly, wrapping her arms around me in a gentle embrace. I hug her back briefly, savoring the moment before we pull away. "Take care, Leon," she whispers, stepping back, her eyes glistening with unshed tears.

As Ava walks away, Vera lingers, her gaze fixed on me. I avoid eye contact, suddenly feeling uneasy. My hands instinctively seek refuge inside my jacket as I clear my throat. This goodbye is harder than I ever imagined it would be.

Vera then steps in front of me, her hands holding onto her purse. "You know, I remember the first time I saw you, back at (y/n)'s house that morning, how awkward you both stood once I arrived," she smiles feebly, both of us recalling that day. The morning after we made love for the first time... "Seeing you stand so protectively next to her..how my daughter looked at you when you were leaving,"

At the mention of her, I feel the familiar lump forming in my throat. Shit. Don't fucking cry, Leon. I force myself to look anywhere but at Vera, focusing on her words while fighting back the tears threatening to spill over.

"Was a sight of two people deeply in love," Vera sniffles slightly, tears streaming down as she tries to hold herself from breaking down. "I was...so happy because I knew she had finally found the right person to give her heart to. And she did." She takes a tentative step closer, her voice scarily gentle. "Thank you, Leon. For everything."

I shake my head, fighting against the tightness in my throat, the burning in my eyes. My facade is crumbling, the stoic mask slipping as Vera reaches out to cup my cheek in a tender, motherly gesture. "You look after yourself. Okay?"

I remain unwavering, stoic, refusing to let the tears fall. But her next words shatter what little composure I have left.

"...She would want the same," Vera whispers, her voice cracking with grief.

I nod weakly, unable to meet her gaze. How can I complain when this woman has buried both her husband and her child?

As Vera steps back to grab her suitcase, little Irene toddles over, having been set down by Aiden. I manage a weak smile and approach her, kneeling to her level and taking her small hand in mine.

"You listen to your mom and grandma," I say softly, my voice thick with emotion. "Always be by their side, and never make them sad. Okay?"

Irene nods and surprises me with a hug. "I'll miss you, Uncle Leon."

My eyes close as I gently pat her back, murmuring, "Me too..." When we pull apart, I force a hopeful smile. "But we'll talk on the phone and watch over Auntie. Who knows, once she's able, we'll visit you."

"Really?" Irene asks, her face lighting up with hope. I nod, my smile more forced than ever.

Their flight is announced through the speakers and Ava gently takes Irene's hand. Standing up, I move next to Aiden as we watch the trio wheel their luggage away. Irene turns back one last time, her small hand waving. Aiden and I wave back until they disappear through the gate.

Aiden and I stand close to the entrance, the trio wheeling their luggage away. Irene turns to us one last time, her small hand waving at us. At the same time, Aiden and I wave back at her, until the three of them finally enter the gate.

"Uh, wanna go grab some coffee?" Aiden suggests, turning to me.

I keep staring at the gate for a moment before answering. "Thanks, Aiden, but...I have to be somewhere. I can drop you off though, wherever you want."

"It's okay. I'll grab the metro."

"You sure?"

"Yeah," Aiden pauses, then adds hesitantly, "You have my number. If you... need anything..."

I nod, feeling his hand briefly squeeze my shoulder before he walks away.

Without wasting another moment, I head outside the airport, my mind already focused on my next destination: the nearest flower shop. 

----

2:34 P.M.

Well. I'm here. Again.

Standing before her grave like so many times before. Slowly, I bend down to place the fresh flowers at the base of the cold marble headstone, her name, and photo carved into the senseless stone.. All the memories from the beginning of our story are a constant flash in my mind since she left.

Straightening up, I shove my hands into my pockets, eyes never leaving that framed image of her smiling face. I don't understand...I really don't. Instead of saving the people I love and care about, I only end up losing them.

If only I had shown her my trust from the start instead of pushing her away. If only I had run after her instead of Luis. Maybe then...

Maybe then none of this would have happened.

From the beginning, I promised that I'd protect her with my life, yet, she's the one six feet under me.

Closing my eyes, I try in vain to keep the turmoil of emotions raging inside me in check. Keep it together, Kennedy. Don't fucking cry...

But after all this time, the wound still feels fresh. The grief and regret hit me like a heavy truck all over again. My bottom lip quivers and the dam finally breaks, hot tears rolling unchecked down my cheeks. With a guttural sound somewhere between a growl and a sob, I sink down onto the grass, face buried in my hands as I let the sorrow I've been keeping, pour out of me.

It's been 387 days without you. 387 days without you once leaving my mind. And I miss you. So fucking much.

But this is the price I pay- I let my guard down, fell for you hard enough to see my future with you when I made a promise to myself not to...

For you- I would dare to leave everything behind. For you, I would dare to finally see myself become the man I dreamed of being as a kid. Fill the void of loneliness. Make the family I never had. But once again, I'm left alone.

You're a part that I won't be able to let go, no matter how much I try. And to be honest? I fucking don't want to let go. Because you're the reason I actually want to keep on living. Live for you.

You still saved me without knowing, but I couldn't.

I only wish I could tell you that I love you. Hear those words come out of my mouth. Just once. Worst thing? I had all the chances to do it and blew them all away because of the constant fear.

I love-

"Leon?"

----

Oh?