Chapter 24 - Craved Affection

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BEFORE YOU PROCEED READING, PLEASE BE ADVISED:

⚠️This chapter contains an extremely graphic description of sexual themes. If you're under 18 or you feel uncomfortable you can skip that part that starts with this (!!!), and read the rest where it starts with this (*)!⚠️

| - Extremely Long Chapter - |

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12:21 P.M

"Jesus, Irene! You're covered in chocolate," you chuckle as you observe the brown sweetness smudged around your niece's mouth. Ava noticing, pulls out a napkin to delicately wipe away the cream while Irene munches on her croissant without a care.

A week has passed, and surprisingly, things have taken a turn for the better. Of course, you're still a long way to heal, calm down, and find the peace you once had. Even if that means not having your parents by your side at all; But for once, you feel completely free, able to do anything you fucking want.

Letting out a soft sigh, you bring yourself back to the present, taking a sip from your coffee cup. "Thanks for the call. I really needed this,"

"We both needed it, I think," Ava says, nonchalantly swirling her drink with her straw. "Mom and dad have been insufferable enough," she adds, her fingers reaching gently to comb through Irene's hair. "You know, they haven't even bothered to call me once since the dinner."

"Same. From dad, I expected it, but from mom..I thought she'd be more sentimental," you chuckle bitterly. "Guess I was wrong once again," you mutter in disappointment. After she was the first person to confess how broken the mission with Chris has left you, you thought that maybe your mother would be more understanding and helpful. Are they really that insensitive?

"They didn't mind calling their own daughters but called Aiden. They started to apologize to him for 'embarrassing him like that'."

Your eyes widen in disbelief. "You're kidding,"

"Nope. Aiden told me and with all this...we decided to sit down, have a serious conversation without any fighting this time..and we just- chose to end things without any secrets."

"So... I suppose you told him about the affair..."

Ava nods, her expression dropping in guilt. "I felt like it was necessary to be completely honest with him. It's not his fault in any way," she admits, looking over at Irene. "Surprisingly, he took it rather calmly. But yeah...to cut it short, we're just going to focus on co-parenting from now on."

You nod understandingly. "That's actually...pretty considerate of him."

"I know," Ava murmurs, her gaze ahead onto the streets. "I didn't expect it to be honest. But maybe he was actually tired of the fighting too. Or he fell out of love- who knows..."

You offer a comforting squeeze to Ava's hand, genuinely happy to see her taking on greater responsibility and finding a balancing solution with Aiden.

"I'm glad to hear that," you mutter, genuinely proud of her.

Suddenly, you catch Ava's eyes widen in surprise. "Oh wow...would you look at that."

"What?" You follow Ava's gaze and spot someone you haven't seen in months - Sadie, with a new guy, walking across the street, right outside the park where you're sitting.

"Wow, I feel bad for the guy," Ava comments.

You don't say anything, your eyes fixed on Sadie as she passes by with her new hookup or perhaps boyfriend this time. His arm is around her shoulder, and they seem deeply engrossed in conversation. And truth is seeing this...makes you envy her. Sadie seems to have a normal life, away from bioweapons and blood, surrounded by people who love her. Meanwhile, you find yourself retreating into a fantasy world you've built, to forget how shit your life has been, extremely lately.

Looking back down to your coffee, you try to figure: What did you do so wrong?

"Auntie, do you want some?" Irene's voice breaks your thoughts. You look at her, seeing her holding out a piece of her croissant in her hand, with Ava seated beside her. The only company that has your back at this moment...still, you're grateful enough for them.

"No, thank you, baby. You eat it, alright?" you say, giving Irene's back a gentle rub as she takes the bite.

"Look, look, look at her talking, and he's just ignoring her," Ava nudges you, trying to get your attention.

"I really don't want to look at her, Ava, honestly," you say, avoiding even a glance in her direction until they're out of sight.

Ava notices your change in mood and leans in to look at your face. "Hey, cheer up...If I were you, I'd be happy I cut ties with her. She was controlling and self-centered."

"That she was..."

"You know she stopped by my place a few months back?" she continues, and you frown in confusion at her words.

"No?"

"Yeah, she was looking for you and gave me something to pass on to you. It was a necklace with a little key charm-"

Our friendship's necklace we both bought when we were 14. Is this her way of ending a 12-year-old friendship? ...how sad.

"Did she?"

"Yeah...she said that you didn't have to act so immature just because you're jealous of her," Ava mocks.

Jealousy. Is this what it all was to her?

"Hmph, extremely jealous," you taunt back. But deep down, a part of you still longs for the friendship you once had with Sadie. It might not have been perfect, but you shared vulnerable moments and laughed until you cried together. Yet, according to her, it was all just a competition.

"Exactly. So don't beat yourself up over her. You've got people who genuinely care about you and love you," Ava reassures you.

"Name one," you challenge.

"Me, Irene, Claire..."

"Three...that's something," you reply with a tired chuckle.

"There are more than three, but maybe you're just feeling low because you're probably on your period," Ava suggests.

No Ava, it's not the period.

You exhale deeply, finishing your coffee before tossing the cup into a nearby bin. "Anyway, I should head home. I have a few hours off before work, and I really need to study."

Irene's head snaps to your direction. "You're leaving?" she asks, still chewing her croissant.

"Auntie needs to practice the piano," Ava explains, taking the plastic wrapper from Irene. "But she'll stop by again in a few days, don't worry."

Irene looks up at you as you stand, holding your purse on your shoulder, wanting reassurance directly from you.

"I promise," you assure her, holding out your pinky. Irene giggles and shakes your pinky with hers, her smile brightening your day. "You and mommy have fun. I'll see you soon. Okay?"

"Mhm!" Irene hums cheerfully and you pat her head gently. Giving them both a farewell, you leave the park and make your way to cross the street. The traffic lights are red, and the signal for you to pass turns green.

As you stride forward, a quick glance drifts to your side, and there it is again-the same car that's been in your way twice already since last week, patiently awaiting the change of lights. Anxiety tightens your chest, and your expression drops as you find yourself locking eyes with the vehicle.

Reaching the sidewalk, uncertainty clouds you. For a moment, you just stand there, expecting where the vehicle will head to. Slowly, almost reluctantly, you start to move in the opposite direction, stealing wary peeks over your shoulder. The car remains idle, windows are up, and the identities behind the tinded glass are concealed.

As the light finally switches to green, the car eases into motion, driving away in a direction opposite to yours. With a heavy exhale, you feel the relief washing over you, realizing that once again, your own paranoia has played tricks on your mind.

----

"This is Rin. He's gonna be your...partner," Ada declares, pointing at Rin as 'Ares' and he exchange hesitant looks. Both of them not trusting eachother already. "He'll have your back, as long as you have his."

Ares scoffs with a chuckle. "Partner, eh?" he repeats curiously, a wry smile playing on his lips as he adjusts his stance, his hand inching towards his belt. "Sounds that you don't trust me enough, Ada."

Ada offers a tight-lipped smile in response. "Nothing personal, but I have my own obligations to fulfill. And Wesker's already suspicious about you, which makes it complicated for me to fully trust you," she explains, her gaze flickering between the two men who seem to study her form.

"So you want to put in someone that's completely out of the picture," he speculates. "But Wesker's just the tip of the iceberg, isn't he?...In fact, he's rather an excuse, and I can see that."

Ada's smirk twists into a mocking grin. "The deeper you dig, the bigger hole you'll find yourself in. Plus...you help him because your life is in his hands. Don't want you to find out things that might kill you if you know them,"

"Or expose you," Ares interjects, his voice carrying caution as he takes a wavering step forward.

Rin stands idle, arms falling loose, ready to reach for his gun in order to protect Ada if neccesarry as he eyes his new colleague. Ada raises a hand to stop him before producing a folded map from her coat. She lays it out on the table with purpose, revealing the detailed layout of the mansion they're set to enter.

"Let's focus on the task at hand, instead." She gestures to a specific point on the map, her finger pinpointing the location. "This is in Cuba. Umbrella's soldiers are joining on the mansion to retrieve the suitcase from the cult. They have a laboratory right beneath this room," she circles a specific area. "You handle your part, and let Rin and I handle ours. If assistance is required, we'll be in touch, and the other way round," she concludes, her gaze locking onto Ares, who appears engrossed in studying the map. Rin stands close by Ada, mirroring her focused demeanor.

"Do we have an agreement?"

----

A calming noon envelops inside the B.S.A.A.'s headquarters as Luis strolls into the training room. His eyes wander around until they settle on Leon, who's reclined in his usual spot, engrossed in his weightlifting routine.

This is something that has been going on for a week now. From the very first day he made his return, Leon is solely focused on the current mission: Take down Umbrella, no matter if they're carrying the new sample or not. His presence outside the base is strictly limited to training, rest, or occasional visits to Wiskay's. Once again, he remains a silent figure, stoic and almost invisible during meetings.

The metallic clang of a locker being closed draws Luis's attention, and he turns to see Carlos making his way toward his own locker, a towel draped casually around his hips as he vigorously dries his hair with another.

Passing by a fellow soldier who exits the training room, Luis enters the locker room.

"Carlitos," he addresses him as he approaches him. "Enjoying a bit too much the training room, eh?"

"It's like a hidden gem in here. Why shouldn't I enjoy it?" Carlos responds with a smirk, flexing his bicep in jest.

Luis chuckles, his gaze flickering back to Leon who is now alone in the training room, setting aside the barbell and sitting up.

"What's up with Sancho? He's been spending an awful lot of time punching bags and pumping iron since he got back."

"As much as I know, you know," Carlos replies casually, lifting his arm to apply deodorant. "Though I can imagine the reason he's like that."

"Enlighten me, senor,"

"The whole Umbrella situation, does that ring any bells?" Carlos asks pointedly.

Luis's smile falters slightly, his hands slipping into the pockets of his jeans. "That's it, huh?"

"I reckon so. Surviving one ordeal only to potentially face another. Looks like the training room is his only stress relief."

Their conversation comes to a pause, the moment Leon enters the locker room, cheeks and chest red, muscles buffed and throbbing after a 2-hour intense workout. A silent exchange of glances passes between the three men before Leon proceeds to his locker, wordlessly removing his shirt.

"Surprised to find you here," Luis quips, leaning casually against a nearby locker as Carlos continues his grooming routine. "Shouldn't you be at Wiskay's, spending your money on the employees?"

"I thought Redfield hired a biologist, not a stand-up comedian," Leon retorts dryly, freeing his sweatpants and grabbing a towel.

Luis lets out a hearty laugh. "See? I have two in one. I'm a great biologist who keeps his colleagues entertained at all times. I'm the rainbow to your stormy skies, and I don't get nearly enough appreciation for it."

"Nah, he's a real catch if you ask me," Carlos mocks with a smrik as he begins to dress. Leon shakes his head in amusement, slamming his locker shut as Luis shoots Carlos a disapproving glance.

"Of course I am? And look at me, still single at 29."

Carlos' eyes wide open. "You're 29?"

"Sí."

"Well fuck me, I thought you were pushing 37 or something."

Luis shakes his head as he folds his arms. "Did you two talk about bullying me today?" he dismisses with his hand. "I'm going to get cigarettes."

"You know these things will kill you," Leon says.

"Especially if you smoke that much, Jesus Christ."

"Hey, you pendejos relieve your stress by punching dummies, I do it by smoking my lungs black," Luis says with a shrug, making his way towards the exit.

"Suit yourself," Leon replies nonchalantly, reaching for the waistband of his boxers.

"See you at the base, amigos!" Luis calls out, bidding a lazy farewell as he walks out of the training room. Carlos follows suit, stuffing the dirty towels into his bag before slinging it over his shoulder.

"Leon, I'm heading to get some food. Need anything?" Carlos asks, pausing by the locker room exit.

"No, I'm good, thanks."

With a nod, Carlos is the last to leave the locker room. As soon as the door clicks shut behind him, Leon removes finally his boxers, stripping himself completely bare before making his way into the shower.

Stepping in, Leon flicks the handle, allowing the cold liquid to cascade over his body without so much as a flinch. His head bows, allowing the water to soak his hair, his gaze fixed on the fresh white marble beneath his feet. The rhythmic sound of water droplets splashing against the walls and floor fills the otherwise silent space, offering a momentary sense of tranquility.

With a deep breath, Leon runs his fingers through his wet hair, before palms find purchase on the slick surface of the wall as the water gradually warms.

From the moment Chris announced the reason of the team reuniting, Leon's memories and the nightmares became once more a daily reminder. Not that it ever left him in the first place. Highlighted dark circles under, are a stark evidence of the internal struggle he faces. The same fear of not able to save innocent lives and the devil disguised in a corporation not facing justice.

As he withdraws his palm from the wall, he begins to methodically rub the sweat from his body with slow, deliberate motions. His head tilts to the side, fingers kneading the tension from the muscles of his shoulder before tracing down on his bicep. The hot water pours over him, enveloping him in its comforting embrace as he closes his eyes, allowing himself to succumb to the soothing sensation. With a deep exhale through his nose, he winds away the cloudy thoughts as he sees they begin to consume him again.

Yet, amidst the turmoil of his thoughts about Umbrella, her presence lingers like a bittersweet ache.

-

"Do you feel unsafe with me right now?"

"I would never feel that way with you."

-

"You're not a burden, Leon,"

-

"I didn't do anything out of obligation; I simply wanted to make sure you're okay. In the end, we've been through a lot together, and you know that."

-

"I'm a person who will run to help the people I value. So it automatically becomes my business too."

-

"Fuck's sake.." he whispers to himself, opening his eyes.

It's been a week since he last saw or heard from her. Specifically, since that night at the bar. Falling into that silence again is worse each time, not knowing how she has been, how is she holding on. Each time he closes his eyes, her image flickers behind his eyelids, her voice echoing affectionate words, a constant reminder of what he's missing...

She has infected him worse than any parasite.

----

7:30 P.M

'Her eyes bored on his, Stefan's fingers curled right up against her soft skin. Anna's gaze betrayed nothing more than desire-'

-

"Please.." the same voice of helpless mother repeatedly echoes as you swiftly reach for your first aid backpack, tears rolling down her dusty and pale face. "Don't let me die-Not like this," her struggle to speak breaks your heart, and the pain she feels sounds almost unbearable.

"You will not, I promise," you assure her as you carefully lift her ripped shirt up to the ribs, clenching your jaw at the wretched state they've left her in. Only to see her die so brutally, moments later...

-

'Lacing their fingers, she felt his magnetic touch pulling her to him-'

-

Your soft sobs echo audibly, yet, the cult doesn't even acknowledge you. A few seconds linger in silence, with only the disturbing heaviness of the air sending gentle waves into your ears. As you slowly open your eyes, you are confronted with the gruesome sight of the woman now beheaded.

Is this how your life will end as well?

The woman soon gets her body and head removed separately. Saddler then plunges two fingers into the pool of blood formed on the stone table. Moving to a nearby table outside the altar, he slowly traces a cross on the forehead of the sleeping baby.

Saddler pauses, briefly looking at the slumbering baby. You glance at him cautiously, all the while sensing the blood trickling down your leg from the wound, its droplets splashing onto the floor-

-

Fuck this. You can't even focus on what you read with the same memories recalling over and over.

With a heavy sigh, you close your book, slipping it back into your bag as the comforting chatter from the patrons outside the bar's kitchen reaches your ears. Pushing yourself away from the counter, you decide to cut short your break and return to your duties by grabbing your apron.

As you begin to tackle the pile of dishes, your gaze drifts to the calendar hanging on the wall. The days leading up to your departure seem to be racing by, each tick of the clock bringing you closer and closer to the new chapter awaiting you at university. You really can't wait to get out of here...

Moments of tranquility pass, but the calm is short lived. Before long, you catch sight of the bar owner entering, his demeanor signaling trouble. Slowing your movements, you raise an eyebrow as you observe him making his way towards the bar counter where Clay stands. He seems...pissed.

This can't be good.

As you continue with your tasks, your attention is torn between the starting confrontation at the bar counter and the stack of glasses in front of you. Eddie's voice begins to grow louder, his frustration becoming more noticeable. Too soon, Julia seems to join their conversation- or perhaps Mr. Erlod's scolding, empty tray in hand. She and Clay remain silent, as Erlod slams a piece of paper against the bar counter. What the hell is even going on?

Before long, Julia and Clay engage in conversation, Julia punctuating her words with animated gestures while Clay maintains a stoic silence. Gradually, you notice a subtle shift in Eddie's face. His stern expression softens as he listens intently to their exchange, his earlier frustration disbanding.

But before you can fully grasp the situation, they motion towards the kitchen door, making you to quickly avert your gaze, pretending to focus solely on your task. The sound of the door swinging open and the trio entering the kitchen leaves you puzzled.

"What's going on?" you inquire directly, unable to contain your curiosity any longer.

Eddie doesn't respond. Instead, he unfolds the same piece of paper and places it firmly against the counter right next to you, upset. Your confused gaze shifts to Clay, where he crosses his arms and leans against the metallic surface.

"The bar's getting sued by the customer that harrassed us," Julia explains quietly. "For neglected security and employment issues,"

Your eyes widen at the unexpected news, and you immediately wipe your hands and take the paper in your hands, only to read non-understandable stuff about the law and everything. "Wh- How-?"

"From the time an employee's friend is inside the bar and physically assaults a customer, the bar, along with the customer takes responsibility for the incident. That's how." The owner interjects bitterly. What the fuck is that supposed to mean?!

This makes your blood fucking boil. That dipshit really asking for money now after what he and his friends done, and you with Leon and the rest of the bar take responsibility for it instead?

"I'm sorry, Mr. Erlod, but I simply cannot accept this," you assert icily, your tone sharp with indignation. "All my friend did was defend the employees. I refuse to allow him, myself, or anyone else to take responsibility for the actions of an arrogant customer. Instead of us suing him for battery and assault, he's the one pressing charges?"

"I'm not blaming you or your friend, (y/n). Clay and Julia explained what happened. But I'm frustrated with the situation. The customer ended up in the hospital and he has many witnesses that your friend was the one who put his hands first on him." The owner waves the paper back at the three of you. "Now he's demanding a hundred grand."

You look away, fingers clutching onto the fabric of your apron lightly. Fucking bitch. He did that on purpose, there's no way.

Taking a deep breath, you nod. "What are your options?" you inquire, your voice strained with the effort to remain calm.

Eddie raises an eyebrow, a sense of hesitation evident in his demeanor as he retrieves the paper. "I'll need to consult with our lawyer, see what routes we can explore," he responds slowly. "Given your current financial circumstances, I'd advise that you cease working here until this matter is resolved. Consider your resignation as a form of partial payment, a means to distance yourself from further trouble."

"Temporary resignation..." you repeat quietly as the suggestion feels like a bitter pill to swallow.

"Eddie, you can't be serious. Instead of helping your employees, you tell them to quit?" Clay raises his voice, stepping in.

"I'm helping her this way, Clay. Once the situation gets cleared, I'll take her back."

"Don't bother, Mr. Erlod," you interject. "I'm leaving in three months. No need to dwell on it.." placing your apron back on the counter, you cast a glance at Julia. She remains silent. Not that you blame her. You know her past, and this job is what she needs..way more than you.

Gathering your belongings, you clutch your jacket tightly against your chest, the weight of the situation pressing down on you. "I'm sorry for the trouble," you mutter before you exit the kitchen.

Bursting out of the bar, you glance back at your car before you make your way towards it. Entering the driver's seat, you settle your belongings right beside you. The urge to cry your eyes out seems to be extremely tempting; but it won't be worth it. Your parents are off the list, Ava is already struggling now that she moves out with Irene- you also don't want a single cent from Claire or your relatives because they'll reach your parents ears...

Turning on the engine, you begin to drive away, your mind hazy, trying to find another solution...you need to find a job that will pay you well. But where?

What are you going to do now?

----

9:03 P.M

Leon's gaze is fixed on the detailed analysis Chris and Piers have written down, recounting every detail of the operation in Cuba as he is seated at the table in the main room of the base.

As he delves deeper into the narratives from different perspectives, his mind continues to race, trying to piece together a solution from the fragments of information. He reads and re-reads..over and over again for the past three hours, hoping to shovel some hidden insight that would lead them forward.

Meanwhile, in the background, Hercules focuses on his own analysis of the Varium Plaga's functions and weaknesses, a document specifically composed by Luis. But despite his presence, Leon's attention barely registers his existence.

Slouched in his chair, Leon shuffles through pages, eyes continue to read the same sentences:

'Agent Kennedy was found infected with a rare species of the parasite. The source of his injection remains unknown...'

'At 4:54 A.M., Doctor (l/n) successfully delivered the suitcase with the 8 injections to the team...'

'At 5:25 A.M., Doctor (l/n) performed a surgical operation on Agent Kennedy with Dr. Sera's assistance. The operation lasted 18 minutes...'

'...Operator Nivans, Doctor Hamasaki, alongside the rest members of the team have successfully defeated Osmund Saddler. At precisely 5:30 A.M., the team successfully escapes the mansion. At 5:32 A.M., the team finds an escort to Umbrella's abandoned boat...'

-

"You're a cop. You're supposed to know something- how did this happen?!"

-

Leon closed his eyes, feeling the fatigue settle into his bones, his fingers instinctively finding the bridge of his nose as he massaged away the mental weariness. The interior air of the base becomes suffocating. Setting the files aside, he takes a deep breath and stands up, grabbing the jacket from his chair.

Across the table, Hercules senses Leon's movements and lifts his head, removing his glasses as he sits up straight.

"Leon, where are you off to?"

"For a drive," Leon replies without meeting Hercules's figure. "I need to...clear my head," With that, he urges his way outside, fishing out his jeep's keys.

Once the doors close, Hercules reaches for his phone to glance at the time. An eyebrow raises, before setting it aside. See you tomorrow, Leon.

----

As you step wearily into your home, you push the door closed behind you with a heavy sigh. The two-hour drive around town did nothing to lift your spirits. Today was...a mess. Getting fired is literally the one of the only things you wanted to avoid since you started working at the bar. Worst thing? You've been working for only a fucking month, and your savings are still shit.

It just keep getting worse, when you believe things get better.

Disheartened, you toss your purse aside and kick off your shoes before making your way towards your bedroom, wanting nothing else than to relax for a few peaceful hours here. A few moments inside this place, where you call your safe zone from the time you first moved in; three years ago.

As you step into your room, your gaze darts over the shelves lined with your comforting novels. It'd surely be a great escape - But today, your attention is drawn elsewhere- to your piano standing proudly in the corner. Your only real console.

Approaching the instrument, you run your fingers delicately along its smooth white lid before lifting it open. Settling onto the bench, you pause, letting your prints hover over the ivory keys. The pulse of your own heartbeat becomes your tempo.

Then, with a deep breath, you begin to play. The first chords of Chopin's Étude, Op. 10: No. 12 in C Minor, "Revolutionary", echoes throughout the walls of your home. Your foot finds the pedal, reinforcing each note with color and profundity.

Your eyes close, fingers trickling fast and smoothly across the keys, guided by memory and emotion. Each note seems to carry more weight, dragging you deeper to melancholy instead. As you continue to play, snippets of your life in the past months flash through in small and few flashbacks.

If you knew things in your life would go downhill like this only because you accepted to work for Chris, you'd never go in the first place.

Opening your eyes, tears already welled up and stream down your unexpressive face, mixing with the soft sniffles that escape your nostrils.

The weight of it all this mess crashes down on you as the final chord fades away, leaving you to rest your head in your hands and finally let yourself break down.

Tears roll down your cheeks non-stop. Your sobbing echoes depressingly inside the lonely bedroom, letting your bottled-up emotions to finally spill. It feels good to finally let go, but instantly turns into a shit feeling. Everything has turned against you, and the people you need the most have vanished, when all you tried to do is help and then live the life you always dreamed to have.

You ache for some comfort. It's exhausting. It's suffocating.

Suddenly, the sound of the doorbell interrupts your internal ordeal, causing your head to snap in its direction. With cautious movements, you rise from the piano bench and approach the window. Silence. A second ring goes off making you peek through the curtains, only to be met with the sight of a familiar jeep parked outside your house.

That's...Leon's.

"Leon?..." you whisper to yourself, your eyebrows furrow in confusion as you ponder his unexpected visit. Despite the surprise, you're not sure if you really want to see him right now. With everything already a mess, the added complication of your relationship with Leon feels like an extra burden you're too tired to carry.

Another ring goes, making you realize that the light filtering through your curtains betrays your presence, making it pretty clear that you're home. Still, you remain idle and quiet, hoping he'll take the hint and leave, yet, another ring echoes, indicating Leon's persistence, matching your own to not opening.

He won't stop, will he?

At the fifth ring, you find yourself obliged to pull it together, releasing the curtains and wipe away your tears. Sniffling, you step out of your bedroom and make your way towards the front door of your home. Before reaching the door, you catch sight of your reflection in the mirror and pause.

Taking a moment, you wipe away the smeared mascara from your cheeks and try your best to appear presentable. It's a small effort to mask the turmoil in you, but it's better than having pitiful gazes.

Finally reaching the door, your hand grasps onto the handle, and with one last sniffle, you relax your facial muscles and regain your composure in a lightswitch. The moment you open, you see Leon standing right before you. Black attire from head to toe, and dark blue leather jacket wraps beautifully around his shoulders, matching greatly the brighter shade on his eyes. Dark circles under his eyes, while his lips and cheek still carry the aftermath of the reason you got 'fired' today.

You don't blame him. He stood up for you were unable to do it yourself.

"Leon, what are you doing here?" you greet him, confused.

Leon doesn't say anything, he just lifts his eyes, looking at you. You can feel his glance studying the redness each of your eye holds, your wet eyelids and glistened cheek still betraying you. "What is it?" you repeat, trying to act confident.

"I wanted to see you," he finally replies, his gaze still fixed on you. "Can I come in?" You nod softly, stepping aside to allow him entry into your home. Closing the door behind him, you feel his eyes on you as you approach him.

"What did you want to see me for?"

"Just to check in on you, see how you're doing," he answers firmly, his eyes continuing to search your face. You avoid his gaze, feeling the weight of his scrutiny. Awkwardly, you lower your head to face the floor. "You okay?" he asks softly.

"Mhm, yeah..I was just studying and all," your voice accidentally cracks at the end of the sentence, but you manage to cough it up. A small pause interrupts, Leon's hands still resting on his sides as he continues to quietly observe you. "What?"

"Were you crying?"

You scoff, pretending to sound nonchalant. "No, why would I?"

"I don't know. You tell me."

"I wasn't crying," you insist, trying to chuckle it off, but Leon remains unconvinced. "I'm fine, really."

"You're not fine," he lowers his eyebrows, pressing further. "Do you want to talk about it? Or...do you want to cry it out?"

You remain silent, unable to meet his eyes. He surely knows you better than you anticipated.

"You want to cry?" he asks softly. You shake your head tightly, keeping your gaze down, but the unwanted tears well up in your eyes again, blurring your vision. Each passing moment feels heavier than the last. "You can cry," he reassures you gently.

Fuck. This is getting too hard...

The lump in your throat grows at his words, and the first tear falls with a single blink. Leon takes a hesitant step closer, his voice a soft whisper filled with compassion. "Come on," he encourages, his hands tenderly reaching for your arms.

Was it his voice? His touch? His reassurance- or his tenderness? Perhaps it was the culmination of all these things that finally broke down your defenses. Unable to hold back any longer, your face scrunches up, and tears begin to stream down your cheeks uncontrollably.

You find yourself gradually melting into Leon's embrace, your arms wrapping tightly around his torso as if seeking solace in his warmth. His arms instinctively encircle you protectively, offering a sense of safety and affection that you desperately crave. With gentle tenderness, one of his hands cradles the back of your head, while the other rests softly on your back. His eyes gradually close as you sob against him.

For the next few minutes, there is nothing but the sound of your heartbreaking cries filling the air. Leon doesn't utter a word, but his arms remain steadfastly around you, offering silent support and understanding, allowing you to express this pain to someone. This pain that has swallowed you whole.

Sometimes words are little to express what you really feel in your heart.

"All I want...is to get away...make a new start...but life just keeps kicking my ass," you pull away slightly, wiping the tears from your eyes with shaky hands. "Because after Cuba...fuck. I can't look at newborns anymore, I can't hold a single medical tool without those flashbacks coming back- I see Saddler's face in my sleep, and I either get injected or killed," you desperately go bare, pouring your heart out to him, since he's the only person here who has been another witness to the severe trauma this mess left you with.

Leon only listens. Yet, in his eyes, you can see a slight transition. He feels and understands every word that rolls out of your tongue in his bones.

"It's been two only months and I'm going insane. How am I supposed to move on with my life after this? How am I supposed to recover from it?"

"You'll never recover from it. But you'll learn to live with it," he softly yet firmly reveals. You shake your head, rubbing frustrated and wearily your forehead.

"I should have never agreed to this. It was stupid of me to get included to this mess..."

"You only did it to help Chris and Claire. You couldn't know," Leon's voice is into dangerous level of gentle. His eyes not leaving yours. His eyebrows scrunch, showing unusual vulnerability and...empathy. "And you stayed, because you wanted to give justice to the innocent. Even if that means losing your own. And I admire you for that."

You shake your head softly. "Don't say that just to make me feel better," you whisper in soft hiccups, this conversation feeling like dejavu back when he tried to make you come back to the base.

"I'm not saying it to make you feel better," Leon responds, taking a hesitant step closer. Your brows twitch lightly as he continues, "I'm saying this...because...I'm also a person who will run to help the people I value and care about. And I care about you. A lot."

His words hit you with unexpected force, leaving you momentarily speechless. Slowly, almost instinctively, Leon initiates another hug. Your arms wrap around each other, neither of you willing to let go. In that moment of shared openness, the silence between you speaks volumes, offering a sense of comfort, understanding, and affection you both crave...that words alone cannot convey.

Pulling away slightly, you both look into each other's eyes. You feel Leon's hand, tentative yet gentle, reaching up to cup your cheek, his palm cradling your face with continued tenderness, thumb wiping away a rolling tear. His demeanor from the moment he got here resumes to catch you off guard, making you question if this is the same stoic man you met just a few months ago.

For a long moment you both stare at each other, eyes speaking louder than any words. Leon's body language betrays his inner conflict, as if he's wrestling with a decision he's not quite sure he has the courage to make. And then, you feel it-the hesitant lean, the unspoken invitation.

Without hesitation, you lean in too, your heart racing with anticipation. As your lips meet in a tender kiss, a rush of emotions floods through you, sending shivers down your spine and sparks dancing in your stomach. Your hands clench into fists, trying to comprehend all the emotions that run along within you: anger, fear, anxiousness...and serenity.

As you pull away, the soft sound of your lips parting fills the air, leaving you both locked in an intimate stare. Your eyes trail to the bruise on his cheek, then back to his features, taking in the closeness of his presence. The heat rises to your ears and cheeks, your heart pounding wildly at the sight of him.

"Do you regret this one too?" you quietly ask.

"No. I don't," he admits with raw honesty. "Do you?"

"...I never did." A sentence you confess, that finally reveals your feelings for him.

(!!!)

Darting down to his split lip, you look at the soft pink flesh, glistening in your saliva, finding it extremely inviting to kiss again. Licking your lips to taste him, you both share a quiet moment, lost in thought of what just happened.

Suddenly, Leon's fingers trace lightly over your throat, as delicate as can be, as if he's afraid to break something precious. Meeting his eyes once more, you feel his hand gently curl around the side of your neck, a silent invitation that sends a shiver down your spine.

And then, without a word, your lips meet again in a kiss that is now filled with a passion that neither of you can deny. Your mouths move together with increasing hunger, desire mingling seamlessly with affection as the kiss deepens.

In that moment, hearts race and pulses quicken, as a potent mix of arousal and vulnerability courses through your veins. It feels so good to be this close to him, to feel his touch, to taste his lips...

In an instant, your arms start to lock around his neck as his around your waist. His body presses firmly against yours, lips descending a bit to your jaw, eliciting soft sighs of pleasure. His breathing grows heavier as it gets heated.

But then, just as suddenly as it began, Leon pulls back, breaking the connection between you. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't...You're vulnerable," he murmurs, trying to catch his breath as he straightens his jacket. His words are laced with regret, but there's something else in his eyes-desire, longing, and a hint of hesitation.

Though by those words and look in his eyes, you feel more determined than ever.

"I don't want you to stop," you confess, feeling the redness reappearing to your cheeks at your admission. It's a vulnerable moment, but it's also a moment of honesty. You don't want him to stop-you want him to go further.

At your admission, Leon meets your wet eyes, and his hand becomes reacquainted with your cheek. Then...your lips crash back together, the kiss reigniting with renewed intensity. With silent understanding, you both guide each other towards your bedroom, the anticipation building with every step. Every fiber of your being craves one thing above all else right now: him.

Even if you're not together, just like you always wished to experience...

Upon reaching, you don't break apart, finding yourself unable to quench your thirst for his touch. Your body moves with a mind of its own, deftly removing Leon's jacket without a word from either of you. His defenses momentarily down, he watches you with a mixture of longing and desire as you both make your way to the bed. Sitting on the edge, his eyes follow your movements as you reach for his shirt. Lifting his arms you remove it next, your knee resting between his thighs. Discarding the fabric, you tenderly cup his cheeks, making him look back up at you.

For the first time in all those months, you can see something from Leon's side clearly. Behind those hazy eyes.

He wants you. And you don't want him too. You need him.

Your fingers slowly lower to the column of his neck, pointer running through his beauty marks, before delicately tracing his bare perked chest, carrying those scars from previous battles, and the most recent where you operated him back in the mansion. A low growl rumbles from his chest as you touch him, his gaze following your every movement. Taking your wrist in his grasp, he surrenders completely, pulling you effortlessly onto him until you both collapse onto the mattress.

Without hesitation, you lean down to kiss him again, unable to get enough of the taste of his lips. A taste you've been yearning for months.

Leon's hands move with purpose, one snaking around your waist while the other firmly grasps the back of your head. Rolling you over, he positions himself on top, his lips moving down to your jaw once again, leaving a wet trail down that reaches your cleavage. He's eager but guarded, his hands exploring but restrained.

A soft muffled sigh vibrates from your throat as his fingers find the buttons of your shirt, and unbutton it to expose your laced bra, adorning the curves of your breasts beautifully. His tongue swirls slowly around the swell as you feel his breathing hot against your skin.

The bedroom soon is filled with the symphony of your moans, his kisses, and heavy breathing. All too soon, and through your clothed thigh, you start to feel Leon's bulge poking from his jeans, an intense realization of what's about to happen.

His heavy breathing and open-mouthed kisses make you crave for more, having you lightly squirm beneath him. But amidst the rush of sensation, there's a nagging thought at the back of your mind-a small detail that you haven't shared with Leon.

You're a virgin. Yes. At 23.

Should I tell him? Or not? Should we keep going? Or fucking not?

As Leon hovers over you, propping himself up on his elbows, you feel his breath hot against your skin, leaving a trail of saliva as he marks you with his kisses, swiping away your doubtful thoughts. Your lips part, your chest rising and falling with each ragged breath. Your fingers tangle in the back of his hair, a silent plea for more.

As he spreads your legs slightly and positions himself between them, grinding lightly against you, you're torn between the overwhelming desire to continue and the uncertainty stemming from your secret. The muffled purrs of pleasure that escape you only make him almost painfully harder as he rubs himself against you.

With a hushed growl, any remaining restraints snap as Leon hastily unbuckles his jeans, removing them along with his boxers in one swift motion. His cock springs free, and you're overwhelmed by the sight of him-hard, ready, and eager.

Fuck it. You want him. Keep going.

As he leans back down, capturing your lips in a searing kiss, his fingers trail down your chest, teasing lower and lower until they reach your abdomen. Goosebumps rise on your skin as his touch sends shivers down your spine, especially when his index finger ghosts over the waistband of your underwear.

"Can I?" he whispers against your lips, seeking your consent in the most tender of ways.

With a sweet nod, you give Leon your consent, allowing him to slowly lower your pants and then your panties. Lifting your legs to assist him, you both work together to remove the last barrier between you. Glancing down at his swollen length, precum leaks from the tip, trailing down to the base, and fuck...he's desperate for you.

Once your garments are removed, Leon props himself on an elbow to the side as his free hand finds once again your sex. Two of his fingers glide through your slick folds, coating them in your essence. Your breath hitches at the touch, legs immediately stuttering a bit, trying not to close them on him.

His middle finger moves along right at your entrance and pauses for a moment, before sliding it inside. A soft gasp escapes your lips as you feel an unfamiliar sensation, and Leon's eyebrows furrow in confusion. Sensing your discomfort, he halts his movements and looks at you, surprised by your reaction.

"W-what?" you ask quietly, trying not to betray your covered anxiety. Leon doesn't say anything, but only leans down, and gives a gentle peck on your lips in response.

"Nothing," he murmurs softly, his voice barely above a whisper. Tender. Gentle like his touch. Without further, his finger with extra care slides back in, pumping his finger slowly and gently in and out of you, his lids lowers, lips parted as he looks at your face...with lust.

Despite the initial discomfort and shyness, you start to relax under Leon's ministrations. Your hand cups his cheek as his other hand cradles the back of your hair. Head falls back slightly, exposing your bare neck to him, and you feel a soft moan escape your lips while his kisses trail along the side of your throat. It's arousing, but...you don't feel pleasure yet. Could be because of anxiousness- it surely is anxiousness.

Opening your eyes, you meet Leon's gaze, observing his own needs rising like a thermometer. You can literally feel him twitching against your outer thigh. Wanting to reciprocate the pleasure, you slowly move your hand down, taking his throbbing cock in your hand. Gently, you begin to stroke him, and Leon's stomach muscles tighten. He huffs, hips almost buckling, watching his jaw clench tightly in response of your touch as his finger maintains the same slow pace inside you. He kisses you again, his lips moving in sync with yours until he smoothly shifts his weight back on top of you.

Once you become wet enough for him, Leon removes his hand from between your legs, bringing it beneath your jaw as you continue to slowly jerk him off. His precum coats your thumb and pointer. Right at this moment, you both become extremely desperate for eachother.

And at this point, you only follow his unspoken lead. Even though, you don't know whether you'll continue further since there's no protection to take- wait...

-

'I'm only making sure you won't make the same mistake I did. Enjoy!'

You roll your eyes and tear the note, tossing it aside before collapsing back on the bed.

"Leon's not like that, you dumbass," you murmur to yourself, looking at the ceiling. However, your head slowly pivots to the side, gazing at the condom before you slowly swing your legs at the edge of the bed, taking it in your hands. Hesitantly, you open the drawer from your nightstand and slowly put it inside.

-

Your eyes land on the nightstand, and pausing your makeout session, you reach for the drawer, pulling out the condom Ava gave you that time back. It feels awkward as hell, but in this moment, your desire definitely overrides any other sense of embarrassment.

Leon watches you silently as you hand him the foil packet. Without a word, he takes it from you, his eyes never leaving yours as he rips it open with his teeth, getting on his knees, and rolling the latex down his hardened cock. His thumb then reaches over your cheek, tracing down to the curves of your body, until he separates your thighs gently. He looks at you with a mixture of lust and tenderness, before lowering himself back down atop you. With his free hand, he guides his length down your folds until he pauses right at your entrance.

You both look down, then back into each other's eyes. This particular moment feels almost surreal. You're about to have sex for the first time...with him.

"I'm not going to do anything you don't want," he whispers against you. "You sure you want me to continue?" he asks softly, his cock eagerly waiting, right up against you. It's as if he already knows, as if he's giving you the choice to stop if you want.

You reached all the way here. You choose to not stop still.

At your approving, yet nervous nod, his fingers gently caress your chin. "I'm going to stop whenever you want me to. I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable, or hurt you,"he reassures you, his voice filled with genuine concern.

With a steady hand, he guides his cock back against your entrance, giving it one firm stroke to adjust the condom, and as he begins to push inside you, inch by inch, you feel the sharp sting below. The pain already draws a reaction from you - a gasp as your nails lightly dig into the muscles of his back while Leon drowns a cut-off muffled groan of relief at how tight you are.

Reaching the hilt, he remains still, giving you time to adjust to his size. His eyes dart down to your half-opened lips before he leans down, capturing them in a tender kiss. The soft wetness of your lips intertwining echoes in the bedroom, before he trails lower, peppering soft, affectionate kisses towards your cheek, and then back on your jaw.

Once he braces himself, he caresses the side of your head. "You okay? Want me to move?"

"Mhm.." at your muffled hum of agreement, he begins to move, his hips with a hint of hesitance rolling gently at a slow and shallow pace. With each thrust, he drowns a groan, his lips never leaving your skin as he tries to ease this lingering uneasiness that is more than obvious in your face. He kisses away the pain in the most affectionous ways, while your breathing grows slower. Heavier. You bite your lip and close your eyes, eyebrows furrowed in a mix of pleasure and discomfort.

Truth is it hurts. But it's not as bad as you expected it to be. Surely not something that you can't handle.

You can hear Leon's breathing growing heavier too and his not understanding attempt to muffle any moans. Is he nervous too? Or you just don't..make him feel good?

No, you can't start getting nervous already if you're good or not. 

Your hands cup his perked chest, sliding them up towards the crook of his neck as he nestles his head against the side of your throat, his hot breaths waving now against your skin.

With each thrust and pull, you start to become used to him. With each thrust and pull... the pain gradually fades, being replaced by something more enjoyable.

A soft, tiny moan draws Leon's attention, his head rising to look down at you. Your eyes meet, locking in silently. God. He's the most beautiful man you've ever seen... 

His arms remain caged on either side of your head, supporting his weight as he continues to roll with deep and slow strokes.

Your palms find their way to his cheeks, your thumbs affectionately caressing his bruised skin as Leon's gaze continues to wander over your features. Each ragged breath he takes mirrors the rhythm of his thrusts, his warm exhales fanning against your dimly lit face.

Your eyes lower, darting down to your connected bodies. Leon follows your gaze, foreheads rest together as you both look down where you're joined, Leon's cock sliding in and out of your glistening warmth.

Leon then lets out a low, audible grunt at the attractive view, before lifting his head back to you. With a sharp inhale through his nose, he captures your lips into a languid kiss.

Breaking apart only inches away, your lips graze against each other, your breaths mingling in the air between you as Leon continues to move smoothly inside you. Your hands still caress his cheeks, and both of your thumbs press against his bottom lip. He closes his eyes, his brows furrowed in pleasure snuggling in your soothing touch.

In that moment, you can't help but feel a sense of pride, awe, and admiration. The way you make him feel, just like he does for you, fills you with some type of satisfaction that you've never known before.

Is this what making love feels like?

As Leon's hands snake around your shoulders, pulling you closer to him, your legs instinctively wrap around his moving hips. One of your arms goes around his back, while the other holds him from the back of his head. His chest presses against yours, and with a rhythmic pace, he rocks his hips deeper and with much more ease.

You bite your lip, as you close unconsciously against him.

"Fuck.." Leon hushes a rasp under his breath in response, beginning to pick up the pace.

Suddenly, Leon pulls out and rolls you over, bringing you atop him to straddle his lap. His back presses against the headboard with a quiet thud, and his cock, now slick and hard as steel, twitches in anticipation. He holds you gently by your waist, guiding you as you lower yourself onto him.

With one hand finding support on his shoulder, you look down as you sink back onto his length. A soft, satisfying sigh escapes your lips as this time you readjust to his girth...the feeling of him re-filling you makes you only impossibly wetter.

"Does it still hurt?" he asks quietly, holding your hips down.

"No. It's good," you murmur. With a faint nod, he begins to help you guide your hips, rising and sinking slowly onto him.

"That's it..." he grunts in praise, his low groans mingling with yours as you find your rhythm together.

As the pleasure builds up once again, it doesn't take long enough until you both become more vocal. Your fingers tightly clutch the back of his head, hazed up from the sensation. His arms snake around and lock tightly around your waist, pressing your chest against his face, and with caution, he lies down with you, his quiet grunts turning louder as he holds you still and gently thrusts upwards.

The sounds of light slapping begin to resonate in the bedroom, and you're lost in the moment, hissing and mewling from the pleasure that courses through you.

Just then, Leon snakes his free hand between you, his thumb circling around your clit slowly. The first touch already has you gasping, jolting immediately sparks of overstimulating pleasure that is almost too much to take.

"You feel....so...fucking good..." Leon rasps, sweat forming on his forehead as he struggles to maintain control.

You can barely register his words in your whimpering mess. Your fingers only tighten further around him, nails digging into his skin as your legs begin to tremble. You're riding closer and closer, the burning sensation warning you that you're on the verge of your climax. What you feel is what words can't really explain.

It only takes a few more pumps. And right then...

"Oh my god..." you breathe out, your hands slamming against his shoulders as his head hides against your neck. With a few quick pumps from Leon, matching his rubs, he triggers your orgasm, and it hits you like a wave. Your mouth hangs open, eyes shut tight, and your head falls back as you unwittingly try to pull away from his embrace. But Leon's arm immediately reaches to lock around you, holding you tightly as his cock continues to move, riding out your high. He looks up at you, absorbing your reactions with lust, a small breathless smile appearing on his lips at the sight.

Oversensitive from your climax, your shaky whimpers and the way your walls grasp around him encourage him to approach his own release quicker. Thrusting faster and smoother, his fingers tighten around your skin as he growls low in his throat, his release hanging by a thread.

"F-fuck...!" In a swift motion he rolls you over, bringing himself atop you once more. "Gonna- fucking come-" A few last short and quite harder thrusts, you feel him pulsate, hips stutter, and hot liquid filling the thin latex, accompanied by his guttural groans.

You moan softly at the sensation, your touch remaining tender as your fingers run through his hair. As he spends a few moments emptying himself into the condom, both of you ride out the aftershocks of your orgasms. Eventually, his chest tiredly collapses against yours, his head nestling into your neck as he pants, and you both stay still for a while.

You feel Leon twitch inside you as he gradually softens, while your legs, still straddling him, tremble with the lingering sensations of pleasure.

Both your hearts seem ready to burst out of your chests as you both pant heavily. Your fingers slowly reach down and gently scratch his back, before locking around his waist. Pulling away just to look at you, Leon kisses you tenderly under the dim lights, savoring this intimate moment with you. Breaking apart, he remains nestled inside you and slowly leans back down to hug you. Your fingers find the back of his hair, hugging him back by his head.

This is the most beautiful thing you've experienced.

(*)

After a few quiet moments in each other's arms, you both begin to come down from your bliss. Leon props himself up, sweat glistening on his neck and forehead. "Are you okay?" he pants, his hand reaching to hold yours, his thumb rubbing affectionately against your knuckles. "I didn't hurt you, did I?"

You take a moment to observe Leon, waiting for your response. "No," you assure him.

"Do you...regret it?" he next asks.

"I don't," you assure in a murmur, unable to resist leaning up to press a gentle kiss his lips again..and again...and fucking again. He responds with equal tenderness, the touch of his lips against yours comforting. Pulling back, you settle back onto the plush pillow, your hand reaching out to lightly trace his lip.

You don't know how this will affect your current relationship with Leon in the future, but surely...you don't regret making love for the first time with him. Not in the slightest.

"Can you stay for the night?" you plea in a whisper. "Please."

Leon's gaze from your left to your right eye, thinking your invitation.

"I wasn't planning on leaving," he whispers back softly.

Gently pressing himself back against you, his arms tightening around your waist as yours wrap around his neck. In this moment, held in each other's embrace, you realize that there's more to Leon than meets the eye.

Because, under all this harsh and unexpressive facade of his, a guy, desperate for affection, love, and trust, is hiding. Just like you.

And you are willing to give it to him, with everything you have.

----