Chapter 15

They would finish with their training soon. I stuffed my clothes into my duffel bag and slipped out the lair door. Leaving a note that I'd gone home to Casey's with the excuse that I needed to swap out my clothes. I caught a taxi, something I never wasted my money on but it was crucial that I got there before Raph found the note. I rushed into the apartment and locked all the doors and all the windows. Drew the curtains and went and sat on my bed. How was I supposed to face him? What would he say? Did I want him to finish what we'd started in the kitchen?Yes. Painfully yes. But then no..I laid down on my comforter and closed my eyes trying to ward off all the thoughts that battered me. Casey was missing, maybe dead and I was here running from Raph. Guilt racked my chest and I squeezed my eyes shut against it all.

::;

When my eyes opened it, was dark in my room. I'd fallen asleep. Goosebumps prickled my skin and I sat up slowly.Danger. I could feel it in the air. I reached over and took the baseball bat Casey had given me that rested against my bed and crept from my room holding it ready.Movement to my left. I swung as hard as I could, cracking the bat into the intruder. It reverberated painfully up my hands but I held on and I flicked on the light. Raph was on the ground, unconscious. "Shit." I dropped the bat and kneeled down next to him, slapping him in the cheek gently. "Come on, wake up." He didn't move.I slapped him across the face hard enough for it to sting my hand and he jerked awake."Oh thank god, I thought I killed you!" I said letting out a strangled breath. "Did you hit me with a baseball bat?" He groaned sitting up."I thought you were an intruder! I locked all the windows!" He rubbed the back of his head and winced. I went to the freezer and grabbed an ice pack, jogged back to his sitting form and sank to my knees next to him slapping it on his head."I didn't think you'd break in!" "I know how to pick a lock Miya." He said taking it from me. He'd come in the front? "What if someone saw you?" I said getting up, angry now that most of the adrenaline was gone. "Relax, no one saw me. It's like two in the morning." He said standing in a fluid motion that betrayed someone who'd just been unconscious. Uncertainty hung in the air between us. "Why are you here?"He set the ice pack on the side table."You know why I'm here."Dread and excitement mingled in my stomach making me feel sick."Locked doors mean go away." I breathed, taking a few preventive steps back."Do you ever not run from shit?" I glared at him."No. It's my main move. Sorry I'm so predictable." "You're not predictable. I never thought..." He paused and took a breath like he was trying to get the noise in his head to calm and line up in order so he could get his words out coherently. "You're Casey's family-" "I know, off limits." "Would you shut up and let me finish?" He growled. I crossed my arms and shifted the weight on my left hip letting him continue after feeling the bite of his temper. "I never thought you'd be attracted to me, but then you were, and it fucked everything up." My cheeks heated. "I told myself I'd stop when Casey came back. He'd kill me if he found out..but then you called it off, and I wanted it back." His said, his voice turning a bit strangled. He took a step towards me and then another, I retreated slowly like my body wasn't as keen on escaping him as my mind was. "And then you taunted me with Mikey." He said his brother's name like it was a betrayal. Maybe it had been. Maybe I'd been the one to go to far. My back touched the wall, but he kept coming."I'm sorry for what I said. But I'm not sorry for finally acting on what we both want." My breath hitched in my lungs when his hands came up on either side of me, getting close enough that his body shadowed mine. "Raph." I sighed turning my head away from him so I didn't have to see the hungry look in his eyes. So he couldn't see it mirrored in my own. "Don't. Don't pretend like I'm the only one who wants this." He growled.His hand slid down the wall and dipped into the darkness behind me, encircling my waist and pulling me into him. When I still didn't meet his eyes, he took my chin in his grip and gentler than I'd thought he was going to be, tilted my face to meet his. "Do you have any idea how hard this is? I'm kinda putting it all out on the line here, and it's not..easy." He said roughly like he wasn't particularly enjoying having to come to terms with his feelings either. I looked up at him, I was at a loss for words. He was saying what he wanted, showing me what he wanted regardless of all the other shit and it was downright sinful how sexy it was. Other than my mother's death, nothing had affected my willpower so profoundly. That had obliterated my willpower to live, while Raphael..he was ravaging the little light left in me that wanted to keep going, leaving me begging for more. He was making me feel..alive. He leaned down, his eyes dropping to my lips. I leaned my head back making him pause, for the first time tonight, uncertainty flashed on his face and it was like pulling against gravity to stick to my guns when I  could see every self-doubting thought Raph had ever thought about himself swirling behind his sharp eyes. "Casey is missing." I said, trying to keep the desperation out of my voice.And then his touch was gone. He released me as fast as he'd claimed me. "Casey is missing." He repeated.I looked up at him to see the hurt in his eyes before he locked it away, replacing it with coldness."You're right, what the fuck am I thinking?" The way he said it held equal notes of sarcasm and guilt.He nodded and cleared his throat, then moved like he was going to walk away but stopped, leveling me with a convicted look.  "But you know what, if he was here, you still wouldn't know what you want." "That's not fair." I said walking after him as he stalked away from me. He unlocked the window up and slammed it open. "No, you're right. You're better off letting losers fuck you. That's easier than someone who cares about you."The cold air swirled around us but I didn't feel it over the inferno of anger his words brought on."Leave it to a man to turn vindictive in the face of rejection." He was halfway out the window but stopped at my words. We always did this, threw low blows at each other to avoid what we really felt."Rejection?" He barked out a laugh. "It's not rejection when you want it just as bad as I do." I held my chin high."Keep telling yourself that." I challenged. He let out an angry huff and climbed back in. "You want me to prove it?" He growled stalking over to me. My anger gave me courage and I leveled his glare with my own, rooted to my spot.I opened my mouth to tell him to get the fuck out when he slid his hand to my throat, his fingers wrapping around it. Not enough to scare me, but enough to put pressure under his palm and fingers as they grasped me with carefully controlled power. He used his hold to bring me close enough I could see the hazel in his green eyes and I grabbed onto his wrist, digging my nails in. His other hand slid to the small of my back, bringing my middle flush against him. His leg slid between mine making me gasp when it came to rest between my legs putting pressure on the drumming beat between them. "Go ahead." He growled into my throat as he nipped me making a spike of adrenaline shoot down my body.My eyes fluttered closed for a second when he tightened his grip on my neck and his breath came in warm huffs, coating the soft skin below my jaw."Reject me." He said brushing his lips across my skin and brought them to hover in front of mine. "I dare you." When I didn't, he leaned back and smirked. It was all dark and desire, none of the cockiness or amusement that usually followed when he smiled at me. I hated that it was enticing like the silence just before a thunderstorm. Full of promise, a little dangerous, and utterly unpredictable. "I'm only gonna ask you this once." The intimate way he was declaring his control in this moment had my thighs tightening against his leg. It was clear I wasn't making any attempt to kick him away and it fueled his confidence. "Do you want me. Or not? Simple as that." I could tell him to leave, he would. He wouldn't push me if I said no, at least not physically. I was sure I'd hear a string of pissed off comments as he'd take his leave but I didn't want him to stop, he knew I liked it like this. On the line between to rough and how far can we take it, but he did to. I could see it in his face. He was still holding back. "Yes." I breathed giving in. "Fuck finally." He groaned before smashing his lips into mine. His tongue licked along the seam of my lips asking for entrance. I was eager to let him in and groaned when his tongue danced across mine. I rolled my hips against his leg and he moaned into my mouth, a deep and guttural sound that reverberated down into my chest. He pulled away from my lips."Do it again." He ordered pushing his leg up into the warmth between my thighs.I rolled against him again and he bit my shoulder making me hiss in pain. It bled into pleasure when I rocked over his muscled thigh again and again until I was panting into his neck.His hand tightened on my neck, cutting off my air and the hand on my back slid to my waist forcing me to keep my rhythm on him. He held me firmly on his leg not letting me go anywhere until he was done with me. His hand gripped me with strength that reflected the rest of his body. When he let go of my throat I took a large breath that turned into a moan when his newfound free hand slid down the front of my shirt, his thumb running across the pebbled nipple underneath before taking it between his fingers and pinching. With a consuming desire, he watched me as my lips parted to moan once more at his touch. He gave me little reprieve before his lips claimed mine and he nipped my bottom lip gently. I bit him in retaliation as he muttered something about being nice before pushing his leg in between my legs harder and using both hands to roll my hips against him deeper. "Raph.." I moaned sounding nothing like myself. I sounded needy and pitiful the way I said his name. The pressure between my legs was building so high it was painful."Don't stop." He growled into my lips.My nails scraped down his arms and I closed my eyes against the white hot eruption I felt. His mouth devoured every whimper and moan until I slowed and wrapped my arms around his neck for support.Our frenzied kiss slowed as his hands slid up my arms to cup my face as he kissed me slowly, tasting everything on my lips. It was toe curling and another wave of lust was already starting to claim me again. He broke the kiss, his chest heaving, his own lust hardly slated. "Jesus." I whispered against his soft lips. He brought his leg down and the ground felt foreign under my shoes. "If you don't show up for training tomorrow, I'll come back here. And it won't be as nice." He warned. I watched him climb out the window feeling like I'd just done a base jump. When he slid it closed and I was sure he was gone I melted into the couch, my cheeks furiously blushing. The line was officially crossed. He had coaxed out my need and I eagerly gave it to him. All I knew was that I felt utterly ravished. I'd never been so hungry for more in my life.