11

Madison's POV I lay sleeping with Grayson, both of us bare beneath the covers.

No, he surprisingly wasn't my first.  I have been to party's and had sex sooo....

Obviously that's a secret though.I cuddle myself more into Grayson , burying my face into his neck.

I press my lips to his neck, kissing it slowly.

I feel his grip tighten on me a little and I continue, starting to suck on the spot.

I feel a light poke against my thigh , only making me continue.I go up a little, making another mark.

"Madison" he mumbled a little, his voice raspy.His hardness pokes a little more as he pulls me closer.I nibble a little on his skin before sucking again.

I bring my hand up to the side of his face and leave a few hickeys down his neck.

I come back up to his jaw and press a small kiss to his jaw and his breath hitches.

I leave a trail of kisses along his jaw and then back up a little, my eyes looking over every perfect aspect of his face.

His eyes slowly open, looking into mine before I press my lips against his.

His arms wrap around me more, pulling me more ontop of him.

I bite his lip lightly and when I released it, he deepens the kiss.

We break it.

I sit up, so I am sitting on his lower stomach, my legs on either side of him.

The blanket obviously falls from my body, draping around my waist.

He stares up at me.

"You're so beautiful. You're more than so beautiful." He said making me giggle a little.

My smile fades when I think about what might happen if Ryan finds out.

"What's wrong?" He asked me

"I don't want to lose you." I say quietly, growing more and more sad.

"Mads I'm not going anywhere." He said rather sternly.

"Your gonna have to. My brother can't find out. He'll kill you." I said.

"Probably so. But it's okay." He said with a small shrug and I roll my eyes.

"No it's not okay. I just want you. I want to be with you.." I said getting pretty upset, wrapping the blanket around my body.

"I want to be with you too. We might just have to keep it on the low for a while." He replies.

"So.. your saying you don't want to stop whatever is happening between us?" I asked him.

"I don't know what I want." He said with a sigh.

"All I know is that I like you a lot more than I thought I did a month ago and I am not upset about it at all." He said and I lay back down on him.

He wraps his arms around me.

"You better get out of here in a little bit if you don't want to get caught." I said as he rubs my back.

"I don't want to leave you yet." He whines.

"I don't either.. I just don't want to take any chances." I replied.

I grab my phone and then lay my head back on his chest, unlocking my phone.

I go to Ryan's messages.

Me: yo when r u coming home?

It shows he is typing after a minute or so.

Ryan: There's another party later so I won't be back til tomorrow.. unless there's an issue over there...?

Me: Nah I was just wondering if I would have to order pizza for more than just me tonight.

Ryan: Ok lmk if u need me.

I click off my phone and smile, lifting my head from Grayson.

"Looks like Ryan won't be home til tomorrow." I said.

"You know what that means?" Gray asks with a smile and I raise an eyebrow.

"What?" I asked him.

"You and I. Get to cuddle more, and later on get fat together." He said with a small smile as he pulled me down.

"Waittttt I need to pee." I said and he huffs and lets go.

I stand up and grab his shirt, pulling it on and walking to the bathroom.

I do my business and then wash my hands.I look in the mirror and huff a little at my bedhead.

I walk back into my room and grab a pair of underwear and slip them on before crawling back into bed with Grayson.

He fixes the blanket over us and then wraps his arms around me.

"You look sooooooooo damn adorable in my clothes." He said making me smile,

"Thank you." I said smiling up at him.I move more ontop of him and he giggles a little

"Your such a view."he said smiling up at me still and I blush at all the compliments he's throwing my way.

I pin his arms against the bed, both of them bent next to his head.

"Grayyyy stop doing that." I whined.

"Doing what?" He asked smirking.

"... that." I said blushing more.

"Complimenting you?" He asked me

"Yeahh.." I trailed off

"I can't do that. Your too perfect I have to tell you." He said and I lean down and kiss him, my face on fire from all his compliments.

I slide my hands away from his arms and he slides his hands down my body, gripping my ass as he pulls me more ontop of him.

I smile a little as I kiss him, he slips his fingers under the thin fabric of my underwear as his hands roam my butt.

I pull away from his lips and he licks his lips, his eyes opening and flickering up to meet mine.

I smile, turning my head and placing another kiss to his lips.

This one just short and sweet.

I pull away and he keeps his eyes closed.

I rest my hand on his jaw, tracing it slowly as I look down at him, admiring his face.I trace my finger up to his chin and then to his lips.

I rub my thumb over his bottom lip and keep it still for a minute and he presses a small kiss to it.

I smile a little but move along, rubbing my thumb against his cheek. 

My eyes meet his and I move my hand closer to his eye and he closes his eyes, his eyebrows knitting together as I brush my thumb against his eyelashes.

I then move along to his eyebrows, just kinda running over them one at a time,gently.

"Your so pretty Gray." I said, caressing the side of his face gently before leaning in and kissing his lips gently again.

"You're pretty." He replies, blushing a little.

"Shhhhh I'm admiring." I said and he giggles, his perfect smile appearing.

"Ugh I love your face." I said and he smiles bigger.

"My turn to admire?" He questions and I shrug

He sits up so I do too.

He scoots back against the headboard and he pulls me closer.

He leans in and leaves a soft kiss to my lips before kissing my nose gently.

He caresses my cheek, his thumb rubbing the top of my cheek gently.

He runs his hand up into my hair as he pushes it out of my face, running his fingers through it.

"Guess what?" He says "What?" I ask quietly.

"I love your face too." He said making me smile

He pecks my lips again, pulling away quickly.

"I want to kiss you." I say grabbing his face gently and leaning back in as he giggles again, leaning in also.

Right before our lips touch he turns his head and licks up my cheek, making my jaw drop.

He smirks and before I could say something he kisses me.

Our lips move in sync slowly as he brushes his fingers through my hair, playing with it gently.

I pull away a little but then peck his lips again before I had pulled all the way away.

Our lips popping back down as we pulled out of the kiss.

I stare at his lips for a minute and rub mine together for a second.

"You surprise the hell outta me Mads." He said with a small smile.

So. The one person who I really thought was going to stay, considering how much shit I went through to be there for her party, and cried my eyes out when I couldn't be there.  I stayed up til 1am on 2 hours of sleep, just so I could wish HER happy birthday on her birthday and cried more after the phone call bc I missed her birthday.  The person who gives me shit still about not making it to her birthday when I did everything in my power but you know. I was only 5 hours away.  

YEAH. HER. She was here with me for a good ..... eh 30 minutes.  But I had my friend, one of them that was in the argument with the other, and then another girl who was there for me when I really needed someone to be, there with me too.  

Well.. She left early because she 'Didn't like the music and didn't feel like she fit in'  RIGHT. But the same people were at her birthday party. There was a variety of music. I never complain when she listens to X. Never. I'm sorry to all those hardcore xxxtentacion fans, but I don't like him.

Thats just about all she listens to and I never complain.  And I call her tonight and we get into a big argument.  She is one of my best friends.  And she knows me better than anyone. She would barely even speak to me and just kept sighing as I talked, crying because she was supposed to be there for me.  She of course found it a way to make it about her.   I am literally supposed to go to California with her ON THURSDAY. THIS THURSDAY.  And I don't even think thats happening anymore.

IDK MAYBE IM THE FUCKING BAD GUY HERE BUT TO ME IT SEEMS EVERYTHING IS ABOUT HER. AND I PUT EVERY ONE OF MY FRIEND'S HAPPINESS BEFORE MY OWN AND THE ONE FUCKING DAY THATS SUPPOSED TO BE MINE. MY THREE BESTEST FRIENDS HATE ME

And now I am probably just fucking up more.

Happy Fucking Birthday to me right.

Idek anymore guys.

Hope you liked the chapter, sorry for the rant.