Forgiveness is My Poison

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T REMEMBER?! IT'S ME! KAORU! KAORU HITACHIIN!"

"I'm sorry... But I don't remember anything..." Hikaru looked down at his lap and picked at his nails. "I'm sorry." A lump formed in his throat, guilt flooded into his system as he knew that Kaoru was somehow someone important.

Kaoru sunk onto the end of the bed and gripped the sheets. His knuckles turned a stony white and hot tears fell down his pale cheeks. The expression on his face was one of annoyance, fear, and disappointment. "How could you possibly forget who I am? We look the exact same..."

"We're twins. That's all I can tell you at the moment." Hikaru continued to hang his head and twiddled his thumbs in a nervous manner. Something in his gut told him that there was something that was best left forgotten.

Kaoru let his grimace fall and the corners of his mouth lifted up into a smile. "I guess we can start over then, huh?" He glanced at his brother and looked at the teen's puzzled eyes.

"Uh... Yeah, I guess..." Hikaru stared back at his brother and looked deeply into his eyes. There was a sadness that laid within and somehow, he knew that it was related to him. "Ne, Kaoru... Can I apologize?"

"For what?"

"There's just this feeling that I wronged you in some way... I don't remember how, but I want to set things right."

Kaoru looked at the other blankly and blinked. "Ah... I guess... If there's anything you feel you need to apologize for... But you really don't have to."

Hikaru smiled and took Kaoru's hands into his. Kaoru jumped at the sudden contact but relaxed. "I'm sorry, Kaoru. For whatever way in which I wronged you, I give you my sincerest apologies."

A solitary tear slid down Kaoru's cheek. "It's alright, Hikaru. We can always sort things out later."

____________________________Three months later...

"That's the park we played in when we were younger."

"Let's go."

"Huh?"

"Let's go play. You push me on the swings."

Hikaru raced towards the sandy pit where a red and blue swing set stood. "C'mon! Somebody's gotta push me!" He laughed and kicked his feet impatiently. Kaoru sighed and trotted over to his elder brother.

"You'll never grow up, will ya?" he joked.

Hikaru pouted but gave a goofy grin as he began to soar in the air. "Y'know, I don't really remember what we did together before, but I hope it was this much fun."

Kaoru's face contorted into a fearful frown for a split second. He was glad that Hikaru had been facing in the opposite direction. "Yeah... We had a blast together."

"That's good to know."

Kaoru's eyes clouded over as he continued to mindlessly push his twin on the swings. He recalled the most prominent memories in his timeline:

"Their first day at preschool. Everyone picked their cubby partners, and they were alone. But they had each other.

Sitting alone at lunchtime and recess because nobody asked them to join in on the game of tag. But they weren't too lonely - they had each other.

Their seventh birthday party when their mother and aunt made them dress up as girls. They were embarrassed. But at least they did so together.

It was middle school and a blond idiot asked them to join some outrageous club. They had their share of fun and joined. And they did this together.

Hikaru falls in love with Haruhi. And I was alone.

Relishing the feeling of cold metal cutting through my skin. Nobody was there. I was all alone.

Contemplating my death. Should I? What did I do to deserve this? Was I born to be alone?

Hikaru loses his memories. This is my chance. We can be one again. We will do this together."

~~~

"Tamaki, please."

"But I don't want to~"

Kyoya's brows furrowed in annoyance as his blond acquaintance failed to listen to his command of letting his arm go. The raven haired teen marched down the roomy walkways of Heathrow International Airport towards exit. His hair was slightly disheveled from the long flight, but it was mainly caused by his irritating counterpart.

"Tamaki, I really don't see why you had to come along on this journey. This is by no means a vacation. I am here solely for business reasons."

"Awe, don't be such a stick in the mud. You gotta have fun occasionally. And it is a special occasion..."

Kyoya glanced at his partner and regretted it greatly. A mischievous twinkle formed in his bright blue eyes as a sly smile stretched across his lips. "It's Haruhi's first time overseas!"

"But senpai, even I don't see why I had to come. I would've been perfectly fine staying in Japan for the summer break. And not to mention all the trouble my father caused too."

"Nonsense! You must explore the globe Haruhi!"

Kyoya shook his head in dismay. The one reason why he agreed to the blond's stupid idea of a "Host Club Summer Excursion" was mostly for Kaoru's benefit. If they could get Haruhi to stay away from Hikaru while his memories were still astray, there would be a chance that Kaoru and Hikaru's relationship would improve. Kaoru would obviously decline the offer of travelling, due to his duties of ensuring his brother was in good health. But unfortunately, Honey and Mori (the more sane of the Host Club) bailed on their plans due to an international martial arts championship. But either way, as long as Haruhi came along, their plans would suffice. Kyoya gently pushed up his spectacles and let out a satisfied chuckle.

"Umm... Kyoya Senpai, are you feeling alright?"

"Definitely."

~~~

"Ne, Kaoru, let's take a bath together."

"What? We're old enough to take our own baths."

"But I want someone to scrub my back for me!"

"Tell the butler to do it."

Hikaru pouted. "But you do it better."

Kaoru felt his temperature rise as he blushed a dark shade of pink.

Hikaru grinned slyly as he held his brother's shoulders and whispered seductively, "I'll scrub your back in return..."

Kaoru turned his head and hid his face as he mumbled, "Pervert."

"I know you like it~" Hikaru teased as he dragged his younger twin into the large ornate bathroom. He locked the door and immediately began to strip the other of his clothes.

"Hey, watch it!" Kaoru struggled in his brother's grasp as they both tumbled to the tiled floor. "I can undress myself."

"Awe..." Hikaru pouted as he stripped and sunk into the bubbly tub of water. "You're no fun..."

Kaoru scoffed and slipped into the sea of bubbles opposite of his brother. Suddenly, Hikaru pounced and grabbed the other's wrists.

"What's this?" He squinted at the scars which lined both of his brother's wrists. "... Scars?"

Kaoru quickly pulled away and hid his arms in the foamy bath. "They're nothing. They're from a long time ago. You don't need to worry."

Hikaru frowned but let it go. "Sure. But don't do it again, alright?"

"Yeah."

The older twin smiled and turned around. "So are ya gonna scrub my back or what?"

Kaoru chuckled at his carefree demeanour and grabbed the sponge. "Yes your highness."

"Don't mock me," Hikaru pouted.

"Yeah, yeah, I won't."

______________________________

Ughhhhh I'm so sorry for the extremely long wait! I've been so busy these past months and tbh I really didn't know how I wanted the story to go. Now that I've made my decision, I can continue writing.

Also, thank you for the support! I really appreciate it. Leave a comment or vote. ❤️