thirty nine

Ariana's grip on the knife tightened as she crept the door, her breath catching in her throat. The voice outside was calm but held a tension that set her on edge.

"Ariana, it's Sherry. Dwight sent me."

But something wasn't right. The tone wasn't familiar, and the words felt off. She took a step closer, peeking out of the narrow window. Two figures stood on the porch, neither of them was Sherry. The realization hit her like a punch to the gut.

Michonne. Carol.

Panic surged through her, and her heart raced. She stepped back from the door, her back pressed against the wall, gripping the knife like a lifeline.

Another knock came, louder this time, followed by Michonne's unmistakable voice, sharp and controlled. "Ariana, open the door now. We're not here to play games."

Ariana's stomach churned. She had been running from them, from all of them. She wasn't ready to face Michonne or Carol, wasn't ready to explain herself.

The memories of Negan's words, his manipulation, still clung to her like a sickness. But so did the memories of her time with him, the warmth she had convinced herself was real.

"Ariana!" Carol's voice now, hard and demanding. "We don't have time for this. Open the door."

They weren't going to leave. She knew that. Ariana swallowed hard, her hand trembling as she reached for the doorknob. What would they say? What would they do? She couldn't hide forever. Taking a deep breath, she unlocked the door and pulled it open, her chest tight with dread.

Michonne stood in front of her, arms crossed, her face set in an expression that was equal parts anger and disbelief. Carol stood just behind her, eyes cold, cutting right through Ariana's defenses. The tension was thick, almost suffocating.

"You've got some nerve." Michonne said, her voice low but furious, stepping forward and forcing Ariana back into the house. "Leaving Alexandria and trotting along after Negan like that. When I BEGGED you to stay."

Ariana flinched, her grip on the knife loosening until it fell to the floor with a dull thud. "I... I didn't..."

"You didn't what?" Michonne snapped, her eyes burning with rage. "You didn't think we'd come looking for you? You didn't think we'd care?"

Carol's gaze bore into her, harsh and unyielding.

"We knew something was wrong. But this?" Her voice was sharp, laced with disappointment. "Dwight told us where you were, Ariana. And do you know what else we heard?"

Ariana's blood ran cold. She knew where this was going.

Michonne's jaw clenched, her voice seething. "You've fallen for Negan. You've been sleeping in his bed. I heard you've even had sex with him. What is fucking wrong with you?!"

Ariana took a step back, the accusation hitting her like a slap. She opened her mouth to speak, but the words wouldn't come. How could she explain it? How could she make them understand something she barely understood herself?

Carol stepped closer, her voice colder now. "You fell for him, didn't you? After everything he did to us, to our people. To Glenn and Abraham." She practically spat their names, and Ariana flinched at the reminder.

Ariana's throat tightened, guilt clawing at her chest. "It wasn't... it wasn't like that."

Michonne's eyes narrowed, her voice harsh and unforgiving. "Then what the hell was it like, Ariana? You ran off with Negan, the man who terrorises us, who murdered people we loved, and you... what? You trusted him? Loved him?"

The word 'loved' hit her hard, and Ariana felt herself crumbling under their fury. "I didn't plan it!" She burst out, her voice shaking. "I didn't want to-"

"You didn't want to what?" Michonne cut in, her voice rising. "You didn't want to what, Ariana? Because all I'm hearing is excuses for why you abandoned us and got yourself wrapped up in the worst possible person."

Carol shook her head, her lips pressed into a thin line. "You're smarter than this. Or at least I thought you were."

Ariana's heart pounded in her chest, each beat heavy with shame. They were right. Everything they were saying, the anger, the disappointment, it was justified.

She had let herself fall for Negan, had believed the lies he fed her, had convinced herself that somewhere beneath all that cruelty, there was something redeemable in him.

"I know I made a mistake." Ariana said, her voice breaking, tears threatening to spill over. "I thought... I thought I could change him. I thought he could be different with me."

"Different?" Michonne's voice was sharp, incredulous. "Are you listening to yourself? You thought Negan, the man who beat Glenn and Abraham to death, who holds us all in terror, you thought he could change because of you?"

Ariana recoiled, the weight of her foolishness crashing down on her. "I didn't mean for it to happen. I didn't want to hurt anyone."

Carol's voice was cold, unforgiving. "You didn't want to hurt anyone? Well, guess what? You did. Do you even realise what you've done? Rick trusted you. We all did. And now you're telling us you got cosy with the man who is close to destroying everything?"

Ariana's breath hitched, the guilt suffocating her. "I know I messed up, but I didn't... I didn't know how to stop it."

"You stop it by not letting it happen in the first place!" Michonne shouted, the fury in her voice reverberating through the room. "You stop it by remembering who the hell you are! Not by falling for the same bullshit Negan pulls on every person who gets in his way."

Carol's eyes softened, but only slightly, as she stepped forward. "We came here because we care about you, Ariana. But don't think for a second that we're going to let you off the hook for this. You fell for a monster, and now you need to face the consequences."

Ariana's tears finally spilled over, her voice small and broken. "I know... I know I was stupid. I let him get in my head."

Michonne's expression hardened again, though there was a flicker of something softer beneath the anger. "You're not stupid. But you let him manipulate you. You let him turn you against the people who cared about you, and for what? Some twisted fantasy that he could be different?"

Ariana could barely speak, her throat tight with emotion. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Carol exhaled sharply, the tension in her shoulders easing slightly. "We didn't come here to drag you back. That's not what this is about."

"We came here because we care about you," Michonne added, her voice calmer now, but still simmering with frustration. "But this isn't just about you anymore. It's about the people you left behind. Rick, Carl, Daryl, all of us."

"You don't belong with Negan." Carol said firmly. "And you never will."

Ariana wiped her eyes, her hands trembling. "I don't want to go back there. Not after everything."

Michonne's eyes softened, though her voice remained steady. "We're not asking you to go back to him. We're asking you to come home."

The word hung in the air, and for a moment, Ariana felt the weight of her decision pressing down on her. She had tried to run from her past, from the people who knew her better than anyone. But Michonne and Carol? They had followed her. They hadn't given up on her.

Ariana let out a shaky breath, her heart still pounding, but something shifted. "I... I don't know if I can."

"You don't have to decide now." Carol said, her voice softer. "But we're not leaving without you. Not this time."

Michonne's gaze locked onto Ariana's, the anger still simmering beneath the surface, but it was clear now... there was more to it. Concern. Care. "We're not letting Negan take you from us. You're not his."

Ariana's throat tightened as the weight of Michonne's words crushed her chest. The room felt smaller, closing in on her as her mind raced with memories of Negan, the way he had smiled at her, the warmth of his touch, the lies he'd woven to make her feel safe. How had she let herself get so lost in it?

Carol's voice cut through the silence, sharp and cold. "You really think Negan cares about you? After everything he's done? After everything he's said?"

Ariana couldn't meet Carol's eyes. She knew the truth now, but hearing it from them, seeing the anger, the hurt, made it all so much worse.

"You were nothing more than a tool to him, Ariana," Carol continued, her voice hardening with each word. "He used you. Played you like he plays everyone else. And you fell for it. You let yourself believe that somehow you were different, that somehow you could be the one to fix him."

"I thought..." Ariana's voice broke, and she swallowed hard, trying to find the words. "I thought there was something good in him."

"Good?" Carol's laugh was bitter, filled with disbelief. "Good? You're talking about a man who's torn apart lives without blinking. You think someone like that changes because he smiles at you a few times?"

Ariana felt the sting of Carol's words, the raw truth behind them. She had been a fool.

"I didn't realise..."

Carol's eyes flashed, cutting her off. "Didn't realise what, exactly? Didn't realise that the man who lines people up and bashes their skulls in with a bat might be beyond saving? Didn't realise that every word that comes out of his mouth is poison?"

Ariana's heart thudded painfully in her chest, the reality of what she had allowed herself to believe crashing down on her. Carol stepped closer, her eyes burning into Ariana's.

"You've been living in a fantasy." Carol spat. "That maybe you were special, that maybe Negan treated you differently because he cared. But that's not how the world works. You were just another piece, Ariana. Another piece on his board. You let him use you."

Ariana's breath hitched, tears pricking at her eyes. She had known, deep down, that Carol was right, but hearing it aloud... it shattered the last of her defenses.

"And what's worse." Carol continued, her voice low and dangerous now, "Is that while you were busy playing house with Negan, the rest of us have been fighting to survive. To bring him down."

Ariana wiped at her eyes, her voice trembling. "I didn't know how to get out."

"Because you didn't want to." Carol shot back. "You let him pull you in because you were scared of facing what he really is. It was easier to believe the lie than to face the truth."

Ariana opened her mouth to protest, but Carol wasn't done.

"You think you're the first person he's used like this?" Carol's voice was sharp, cutting through Ariana's defenses. "Dwight's wife, Sherry, she was trapped, just like you. And you know what she did? She ran. Because she realised there was no saving a man like Negan."

Ariana blinked, stunned. She hadn't expected Sherry's name to come up. Carol's next words, though, hit even harder.

"Dwight wants him dead, Ariana." Carol said, her voice firm but measured now. "He's been working with us. Risking everything to take that bastard down because he knows exactly who Negan is. He lived under his thumb. And now you've just been another tool, another part of Negan's twisted game. Dwight would kill Negan himself if he could."

Ariana's heart sank. Dwight? The man who had served Negan so loyally, who had seemed to be just another one of his henchmen? He was working to take him down?

Dwight told them everything...

"He hates Negan just as much as we do." Michonne added, stepping forward, her voice quieter now but no less intense. "He wants him gone. For good. And all this time, you were just another part of the problem."

Ariana felt the shame rise in her throat. She had thought she understood Negan, thought she could make a difference. But all she had done was make things worse.

"I didn't know." Ariana whispered, her voice barely audible. "I didn't know about Dwight, about any of this."

Carol's face softened, just for a moment, but her voice remained firm. "No, you didn't. But you should have. You let your feelings for Negan cloud your judgment, and it nearly cost all of us."

Ariana's tears finally broke through, spilling down her cheeks as she stood there, helpless under the weight of their words. She had been a fool, just like Negan had said. And now, she didn't know how to make any of it right.

Carol took a deep breath, the fire in her eyes cooling to something softer, though still intense. "We care about you, Ariana. That's why we're standing here, telling you the truth. Because we don't want to lose you. But if you don't see this for what it is, if you don't wake up... you're going to get yourself killed. Or worse."

Ariana stared at the floor, guilt and shame weighing her down, but beneath it all, there was a flicker of something else... resolve. She had made a terrible mistake, one that had nearly cost her everything. But now she had a choice.

She wiped her face with the back of her hand, lifting her gaze to meet Carol's. "I get it." She whispered. "I know what he is now. I'm done with him."

Michonne's expression softened slightly, though her eyes still held a sharp edge. "Good." She said, her voice firm. "Because we need you with us. Not lost in some illusion."

Carol nodded, crossing her arms as she stepped back. "You're one of us, Ariana. But if you're going to be a part of this, you have to understand, there's no room for love or loyalty when it comes to Negan. He's our enemy. And if you can't see that, you're going to be left behind."

Ariana swallowed hard, the reality of what they were asking sinking in. She had believed in something that wasn't real, had let herself be pulled into Negan's orbit. But now, she saw things clearly.

"I'm with you." She said, her voice steady despite the storm inside her. "I won't let him use me anymore."

Michonne exchanged a look with Carol before nodding slowly. "Good. Because this isn't over. Negan's still out there, and when the time comes... we'll need you."

Ariana nodded, a new determination building in her chest. She had made mistakes, terrible ones, but now she had a chance to set things right. And she wouldn't waste it. Not anymore.

Carol turned toward the door, her voice low but pointed as she spoke over her shoulder. "We've all got blood on our hands, Ariana. Don't make the mistake of thinking yours is clean just because you see things differently now. Negan doesn't care about your guilt. He'll still kill you if it suits him."

Ariana swallowed hard, feeling the weight of Carol's words settle deep inside her. "I know." She said quietly, her heart heavy with the knowledge that this battle was far from over.

Carol glanced back one last time. "Then let's make sure we're the ones who get him first."