Chapter 17: Thinking of you

Chapter 17: Thinking of you

6:00 AM, a time where no human being should even be remotely conscious, is the time where he decides to wake me from my slumber. I grunted loudly, showing my annoyance. I heard a small sigh that was then replaced by the sound of a quiet giggle. Interested at why I was being laughed at, I turned to look into the British man’s face. He was obviously amused by this hatred of mornings I have.

“How can you be so happy in the morning?” I asked.

I had thrown my legs out from under the covers and had stood up with a yawn before he replied with: “Someone has to be, I suppose.”

I sighed. “You don’t make sense at all.”

This caused an even brighter smile to appear across his thin lips. “Neither do you.”

I had just enough time to wolf down two donuts and a cup of tea before I flew out the door, fearing to be late. I then looked down at my legs and realized I was still in my boxers. I cursed lightly, flinging the door back open.

 I walked in on a confused Englishman who was now staring at me questionably. I stared up at the ceiling for a brief moment, remembering a time where this had happened before.

“We don’t have to leave for a long time, do we?” I asked, realizing.

“I was wondering when you would catch on,” he said,” We have two hours, at least.”

I rubbed my hand angrily through my blonde locks. “Seriously, dude!? Why’d you wake me up then!?”

He placed a delicate finger on his chin, looking like he was thinking. “Oh, why was it again?”

“Britain!” I yelled.

He smiled again. “Sorry, I just couldn’t resist.”

I stormed through the house, throwing my fists in the air. “Now I can’t possibly go back to sleep! I hate this!”

I felt his hand on my shoulder, presumably trying to calm me down. I used to do this as a kid too so of course he would know exactly how to calm me. I think Britain was the only one who really could handle me back then and it still seems to be true even today.

 I had realized what I truly felt about him not too long ago but confessing words were not easy. I had trudged over them for a whole week, unable to say them. I decided to try it again, this seeming to be the most perfect moment. I placed my hand over his, causing a little bit of a jump from him.

“America?”

“Britain, I uh- I don’t know how to say this. I’ve been trying to tell ya that I- that I-“

He clutched tightly onto my hand. “You’re nervous about going, aren’t you?”

I was dumbfounded. “Huh?”

“I mean you are still disappearing. You worry about someone finding out, right?” he asked me.

I looked him straight in the eyes, determined to say these words. “Of course I am but that’s not what I was going to say.”

He was shocked. “But what else is there?”

I let out a breath, prepared to say this in a desperate breath of air. Britain looked at me in concern, his head tilting slightly to the left. I had to let it all out now.

“I’m in love with you!” I yelled out, surprising even myself.

I leaned in closer, lightly pressing our lips together. I had to let my actions and words match. When I didn’t get a response, I pulled away, looking into his eyes. His eyes looked distant now, shocked by what I had done.

 I don’t know exactly what I wanted him to do but he did the exact opposite. He dropped my hand, letting his fall limp to his side. His other hand was already covering his mouth and he took a small step behind him.

“Sorry if I scared you but I had to say it.” My eyes saddened at his current expression.

I didn’t know what else to do so I turned away and walked back toward the bedroom. I did have school in about an hour or so and that meant I had to change into my uniform. I pulled off my tank top and threw it on my bed. Why did he make that face? He looked like he was about to cry.

I searched through my closet until I found my uniform and I set it out on my bed. As soon as I picked up my shirt I got attacked from behind by a death grip. His warm arms clutched tightly around my bare waist, making me jump.

I blushed. “W-what the hell is wrong with you!?”

He didn’t respond, just held on tighter. What was his game? What was wrong with him this morning?

I sighed, letting all my frustration out in one big breath. “Look, could you just be honest with me? I don’t care if it’s embarrassing or whatever just speak your mind.”

I could feel him shake his head no behind me. “I can’t.”

I forced his arms off of my stomach. “Can’t or won’t?”

He put both of his hands on my back, still refusing to let me go. “I didn’t want you to get upset with me.”

I kept my tone low, realizing again that he was being all weird because of me. “Well nothing upsets me more than you keeping secrets from me. I don’t want us to fallout like last time.”

His voice was low as he said: “The other day, Japan and I, we- we kissed.”

Anger rose to my face as I clutched tightly to my shorts. “You did what!?”

I understood then why he had made that face. He had already kissed someone else so kissing me reminded me of his kiss with Japan. Did he really love Japan more? Was I just a replacement for the one he really loved? If he loved him, then why was he here and not with him?

His hands shook with nervousness. “It’s not what you think, I didn’t mean for it to happen. He just kind of kissed me, I hardly even remember it.”

“But you do remember it! That’s why you don’t want to kiss me…”

“That’s not true! I do want to, I just feel so disgusting. You must hate me now for being so careless.”

I smiled. “Hate you? Please, what did I just get done with saying?”

“B-but I cheated on you! I kissed another guy all the while you cared so much for me...”

“Forgive and forget, that’s what you do for people you like and it’s not cheating unless you’re actually lovers, right?”

He eased up a little, taking a step forward. I gently patted his head, trying to completely calm him down from the intense moment. Now it seemed like he was the child and I was the parent. We could both change roles so easily around each other. I wondered if this was always meant to be.

“Can I?” he asked.

“Can you what?”

His eyes were extremely determined but the sound in his voice showed me how nervous he was. “Be your lover.”

My face flushed. “Idiot, you have to love me first. I don’t mind if you love Japan, it’s okay.”

His hands turned into fists. “You’ve got it all wrong! I was disgusted during my kiss with Japan, not my kiss with you. In fact, the whole time I was kissing him, all I could think about was you.”

“So you do love me?”

He looked straight into my eyes. “I do. I knew it would always be you; it’s always been you that I have loved the most. Not even a few wars can stop that.”

I was so happy that the emotions flew out my eyes. “I’m sorry.”

He smiled, cupping my face with his hands. “There’s no need for apologies.”

I had wanted so long for this to happen that when it did I wasn’t even remotely prepared. My mind was cluttered with thoughts of him in my head, all the times we had been allies. All those times he always stuck beside me and he refused to give up.

“So is that why ever since then, you’ve been my ally?” I asked.

He shrugged his shoulders. “Something like that.”

I let him wipe my tears away as I stood up tall again. I had to stand strong again, for both our sakes. I pulled my shirt over my head, and the vest but Britain stopped me when I tried to put on the tie. He tied it around my neck, making ever movement simple and gentle.

“So, can I now?”

“Of course, you can do whatever you want.”

We both smiled, finally realizing everything. We had finally been truly honest with each other and nothing could make someone happier than getting all of those feeling off your chest, especially if the other person feels the same way.

He stood on his tiptoes and planted a kiss on my lips. The one I had loved so much was finally mine to hold. I held him tightly, refusing to let him go again. He wouldn’t get away from me that easily. Today was the happiest day in my whole entire life~