Chapter 44

We run towards Monroe Avenue without any set-backs. Natalie runs to the edge of a red brick building and she puts her back against the wall with her pistol to her chest. She peeks her head around the corner for a second before snapping it back.

"There's a truck with several Dauntless scattered around it. We won't make it past." Natalie whispers. Tris still sobs over what she has done to Will. But that is the price she has to pay for the rest of her life. Blood is a permanent stain. That only washes off after years of hoping it becomes easier to deal with each day that passes.

'Killing is never right'

"Then what do we do?" Dwayne asks he has a concealed anger that claws out of his mouth. "They killed my parents. I want them all dead. Every. Single. One." I have never seen Dwayne like this, he has a tight grip on the trigger and he chomps at the bit to extract his anger onto the Dauntless. But nearly all his family have been killed in one night. I can see the Lopham's laying on the ground next to one another. Natalie sighs. "When I distract them you four run as fast as you can I'll catch you guys up." Natalie says. As soon as she finishes she steps out and she begins to fire rapidly at the opposing Dauntless. We all run to the alleyway and dive onto the stone floor. Natalie follows and continues to fire as she runs.

It is only when she comes near to us I notice how dilated her pupils are and how pale her face is. I look to her torso and see four red wounds that drip with blood. Natalie falls to the ground and her eyes flicker rapidly. "No Mom!" Tris screams pushing me out of the way and she goes by Natalie's side and clutches her hand. Tris strokes a strand of hair out of Natalie's face. Then slowly Natalie's eyes close and life escapes her body. "NOOO!" Tris screams hugging Natalie's body. I feel my own tears stream down my eyes and splash on the grey floor. Tris looks up to us and her hands shake. "My Mom is dead." She gasps through her breathless lungs. Dwayne lowers himself in front of Tris. "I'm so sorry Tris." He says quietly. I hear the roar of another truck arrive and the heavy footsteps of the Dauntless which are looking for us, like an eagle scowering for its prey. "We need to go now." Dwayne says. He picks up Tris who resists letting go of her mothers hand. We weave in and out of the bullets one even catches a strand of my flying hair. I close my eyes and I grab onto Connor's warm hand.

We survive the gunfire and make it to the same house, at the expense of Natalie and the people we have killed. Tris's hand is covered in blood, her mother's innocent blood. The only light that is in the safe house pours itself in from the windows. I faintly see the grey metal shelves which almost go up to the roof. The safe house seem empty the only sound I can hear is Tris's sobbing and the ringing from the bullet which could have been lodged into the back of my head. Slowly people pour out of the shadows. Their features of their faces seem silver and black. I recognize a few of them; Andrew Prior, Susan Black, the Cotton's who lived opposite me. From the looks they project to me and Tris they don't remember or recognize us. But we are covered in bruises and blood and scars.

Though the one person who I don't want to be recognized by clearly does know me too well. Dark blue eyes that haunt me, the tall and slim figure which use to cower over me and the dark blue shaved hair which would often drip with sweat after what he did to me. Marcus Eaton. Andrew softly moves him out of the way and he quickly moves his head. A young man follows behind Andrew. Caleb Prior with an un-tucked white shirt which hangs over his black trousers. "Where's Natalie?" Andrew asks.

Tris shakes her head and the sobs get louder and louder, Caleb begins to join in with the crying. Andrew swallows a big empty lump in his throat before hugging hugging the pair of his children. "She died protecting us." Tris whispers.

"Her sacrifice wasn't in vein." Andrew says trying not to cry.

"I knew I should have never have trusted Jeanine. I left as soon as I found out that this was going to happen. I'm so sorry." Caleb says. Marcus hasn't taken his eyes off me. Any moment now I am expecting his leather belt across my face. He walks towards me and I edge back as I tightly grip onto Connor's hand again. Connor hasn't taken his eyes off Marcus either, instead I see fire in the blue irises. His jaw is tightly clenched like a bear trap and with every step Marcus takes Connor's grip gets even tighter. "Sonia is that really you? My little girl all grown up?" He asks with a smile and the sound excitement. The hall quietly erupts into discussion. I let go of Connor's hand.

"We need to stop the simulation. Otherwise the bodies of innocent people will rise. We need to free Four." I say ignoring Marcus's empty pleads.

"They'll have taken him back to Dauntless. Jeanine has been there for weeks meeting with Max and Eric. She told me that it was about making efficient weapons and simulations that permanently erase fears." Caleb murmurs quietly.

"Ok, that is where we need to go. I'll go." I say pursing my lips.

"Me too." Connor follows soon Tris follows.

"And we will go. They killed Natalie and I won't stand for it." Andrew says and Caleb nods in agreement.

"Alright. Dwayne I need you to evacuate these to another faction safely. You have a gun they won't spot you if you take the backstreets." Tris says. Dwayne agrees. We all prepare to make our move, I put my hand on the silver handle until Marcus voice freezes me solid. "I want to go too. If they have Tobias." I haven't hear Marcus say Tobias's name in years. Especially not the way he use to spit it out. I quickly turn to face him with a tight fist. "You!...should stay here. They need your leadership skills." I begin to shout but there are more important things to worry about.

"I want to go! You are in my faction and you will do what I tell you to do. I am your parent." Marcus preaches.

"Parent! You abused that title years ago the same way you used to abuse me and Tobias." I scream not holding back my anger.

"Stop it! People are being killed out there. Every minute we spend arguing a child becomes an orphan and there's a new widow in the morning. We need to hurry in order to stop this. Otherwise Jeanine has won. And it won't be them she kills it will be Tobias, us, every single innocent person in this city at her say so." Tris orders. We don't argue because her reasons are impenetrable like a diamond pillar. Eventually we make our way to the train which will take us to the Dauntless compound.

We ride the train in silence. Andrew disapprovingly looks at his gun, Marcus still stares at me and Connor glares at him. Tris stands to her feet. "We are nearly at the compound when I jump you follow. Don't think just jump." She looking out of the open door of the car. Her blond hair blows all over the place. Looking at her now I don't think she would have just lost her Mom. She could shake the city for the good no wonder Tobias is mesmerized by her. She is so strong and fearless. I want to be like her. The three tattoos on her collarbone reminds her what is important in life. That is if you love someone so much sacrifices for their benefit should come easily. She looks to us with determination that covers her face like a tattoo.

"Get ready to jump." She says stepping back. She waits for the rooftop to appear and she leaps through the air. I do the same, Connor is quick behind me and the other three take their flight. Tris runs to the spot where we jump again, she stands on the small tiled wall. "There is a net at the bottom. Again don't think just jump." She says before falling. We all make it inside of the compound which the usual shouting is extinct. I feel like I am back on my first day, except this time what we are doing now is all too real.

I never expected this, any of this. We all take a run down the corridor to the computer room. Until we spot a male with dark shiny hair, a tall build and a long nose. I actually thought it was Tobias but as I get closer to him I realize with a heavy heart he isn't. I have seen this guy around Dauntless, usually alone. Peter I think he is called. Tris takes aim with her gun and shots him in the right shoulder. He collapses and winces in pain on the floor. He tries to get back up but Tris knocks him to the floor and places her knee across his chest.

"Well if it isn't the stiff and her friends. What the hell are you doing here?" He asks through gritted teeth and squinted eyes. She puts her knee closer to his throat.

"How come you are not under simulation?" Tris asks. Peter chuckles.

"I could ask you the same question. Didn't think you had it in you to be Divergent." Tris grits her teeth and presses her knee tighter across his chest. "I-I didn't get injected by the serum. They missed me out." He says almost in pain with his bullet wound and the squashed chest. "Where are they controlling the simulation?" Tris asks lifting her knee slightly.

"Why should I tell you. Not like you're going to kill me." He says smugly. Tris presses down again and points her gun to his temple. "I have already killed people tonight. So don't think I won't kill you. But unlike them I would actually be pretty satisfied if I did kill you. So I suggest you help me because I am losing patience." Tris says quietly which un-settles me. I have seen a new side of her tonight the determined and relentless Tris which I didn't think I would see in my lifetime. She puts two fingers into Peter's wound and he cries in pain. I see a glistening tear fall down his cheek. "Alright! Alright! The computer room. They are in the computer room." Peter shouts. Tris smiles.

"Thank you Peter. For your co-operation." She gets off him still pointing her gun at his head. "Connor, Caleb help him up and keep him close. If he plays anything stupid...kill him." She says walking in-front. Connor and Caleb both have a tight grip on Peter.

We follow our little leader to the computer room which is as expected guarded by more Dauntless which are under simulation. We hide behind the wall occasionally glancing at our next destination. "Is that it?" Connor asks Peter who holds hand a top of his bullet wound. Peter nods. Andrew peaks over the edge of the wall. He swallows again and lifts up his gun before firing at the Dauntless who are guarding the doors. A few fall down like pebbles but Andrew along with Connor and Tris all continue to fire. More Dauntless appear and like machines they all just fire bullets. Only programmed to stop when whoever they are shooting at is on the floor filled to the top with bullets. One Dauntless with ice blue hair is about to fire at an oblivious Connor and so like the simulation Dauntless I pick up my gun and fire at them before they can do any damage.

I hit them. I have hit them in the chest and they fall to the ground and their eyes are wide open with dilated pupils similar to those of when Natalie was killed. The gunfire stops and I my gun slips out of my fingers like water...like blood. I have just killed someone. I have killed someone. I collapse to the floor and try to block out the whispering voice in my head which is like a broken record. '

Killing is never right' 'Killing is never right' 'Killing is never right'  I try to tell myself it was for the right reasons but I don't believe my excuses. No matter how much I care for Connor I will be eaten by guilt for the rest of my life. My body is numb and heavy like my skeleton has turned into lead.

"What have I done? What have I done? I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry." I say to myself.

"Beatrice." Caleb simply says. His voice is filled with tears. I turn my head to see them both by the side of Andrew's body who like what Natalie did has bullet wounds in his torso. Dead. Tris looks to the floor and allows a few tears to pass but she looks to the metal door which leads to the computer room. "I need you to watch the corridors. I'll head into the computer room and try to stop the simulation and hopefully bring Tobias back." Tris says reloading her gun with un-stable hands.

"I'll come too." I say. We walk past the dead bodies and I get the feeling of an ice shard impaling into my back. I close my eyes and apologize again for all the good it will do.