chapter 23

I pick myself up and begin to walk to the tattoo parlor. My body shakes in anger. 'How dare they lay a finger on me? From now on I am locking up every single person who has ever laid a finger on me.' I repeat to myself as I walk through the chasm. This time I notice candles lit all around it. Maybe it is a memorial, I was told about a transfer committing suicide or facing the outcome of becoming factionless last year, Dauntless are kinda of strange when it comes to death. They congratulate those who die because Dauntless believe facing death is brave. A funeral here is also strange apparently it consists of shouting and chanting. In Abnegation however, suicide is seen as selfish and a funeral is a very somber occasion there. Everybody attends and no jokes are made. I remember attending dozens of funerals of people I didn't know.

This makes me wonder about the other factions. A Candor funeral probably has people saying how they truly feel about the deceased, An Amity funeral probably has people topped up on that peace serum and Erudite probably keeps the dead bodies to experiment on. I arrive at the tattoo parlor. I see Aspin watch Ryan get a tattoo on his forearm. I can't make out what it is. Olivia is having a tattoo of the Amity seal on her collarbone. Connor and Shayne quietly talk. I sit down next to them. My anger has cooled but hasn't  been extinguished yet. I still shake and I am still eager to hurt them. Tomorrow we have sparring and I really hope; no wish, prey that I am sparring one of them. I don't care who I just as long I can hurt them. I look at the mirror across the room which sits upon a white board of tattoo designs. My eyes are red from my tears and my neck has noticeable hand prints on both sides and my forehead has beads of sweat.

"Are you OK?" Connors asks me with creased eyebrows that are shaped by concern.

"Yeah I'm fine, thank you for asking." I say emotionless, my voice has an obvious hint of anger to it. He stands up and takes me by the wrist outside of the parlor. My strength is nothing compared to his, as he easily drags me. He leans me against the pane of glass and looks at me with his eyes. Though this time he hasn't hypnotized me this time. My Divergence must be kicking in.His eyes have a slight fire inside them, that can only be matched by the time we both saw Jeanine Matthews in the Dauntless compound. "They have hurt you haven't they?" He asks, the way he says 'they' I fully understand he means them, the three Erudite's. He says it with such distaste it scares me his voice is usually soothing and supportive now sounds like a dog's gnarl. I simply shake my head, No need to get him involved. He sighs and closes his eyes before opening them again. "I'm going to ask you again did they hurt you?" He asks slowly. Intimidating but caring none the less. I nod my head and look down trying to hide my tears away from him. He puts his hand on my shoulder and like the lights above us I flicker. "What did they do?" He asks.

"Nothing much." I whisper like a little child. His hand moves from my shoulder leaving it cold and moves it to my chin and easily lifts my chin up. "What did they do? I want to know, you're my friend if they have laid a finger on you they have laid a finger on me. If you go into battle...then I go into battle. That is how friendship works." He whispers going back to his usual soothing voice but his face is still painted with a concerned look which causes the dormant butterflies in my stomach to fly.

"T-They threatened me, and you, Shayne and Olivia. They said that they would do whatever it takes for me to become factionless. They said that they would manipulate you three to hate me." I confess barely being able to be heard over the shouting group of bright haired males across from us. Connor has his body close enough for my chest to be in contact with his. But I need to be closer to him. He puts both hands on my cheeks and moves his thumbs.

"Listen to me." My head collapses under his power before he props it up again. "Look at me; they could never make me hate you. They won't even make Olivia and Shayne hate you. I want to be your friend because I didn't  have many growing up. I will make them pay somehow. I promise you that." His words reasure me and before I have chance to speak he pulls me into my chest so I can hear his fast beating heart. I close my eyes with confidence that I am safe. "Please don't do something stupid." I say.

"I won't." He replies.

Lights out eventually arrive and Connor has almost made me forget about what has happened to me. Not just in the dorm but everything I have ever gone through bad. I have stayed close to Connor for most of the evening. A little creepy I know, but it felt right. When we arrive at the dorm Connor glares at Jessica, Oliver and Lewis who smirk in the corner. Lewis makes a choke gesture which I know made Connor to almost lose his temper. I lay in bed unable to close my eyes, even with Shayne, Connor and Olivia with me I still feel scared that the three Erudite's are in the same room as me. I hear the springs of a bed mattress lift. I turn to see who it is, Olivia gingerly and slyly makes her way to my bed. She kneels next to me with a smile.

"What?" I ask.

"Tell me about you and Connor. You two have been getting pretty close recently." She asks.

I smile. "Nothing is happening we're just friends, and before you go on to it we won't be dating, I do not know the first thing about dating. I am still getting use to this whole friendship thing." I reply. "What about you and Shayne?" I ask. She chuckles quietly. "Early days, early days yet. Good things come to those who wait." She says before climbing into her bed.

This makes me wonder. Are they mutual in their like for one another? I eventually fall asleep a few hours later.