The Initiate chapter 8

Chapter 8.

After putting the dress on. I feel a sense of exposure but a taste of my new potential life here in Dauntless. I take a breath before stepping out. I pull back the curtain and await for Olivia’s feedback.

“Wow well you look noticeable, but more importantly how do feel in it?” She asks with a smile. I look at myself in the, the young woman in the black dress. I feel grown up and free. I feel like people can stare at me without having to feel guilty for being feel self indulgent. I am Ruby the girl who jumped first, the girl who finally realises what freedom feels like.

“Good. Really good.” I say smiling.

“Good now we need to meet the boys at the pallor.” Olivia says. We quickly change back into the clothes we were wearing before we came in here. We rush off to the pallor and we can see Connor and Shayne laughing and starring at that Christina girl, she’s tall and pretty what do you expect?

“Well you two finally showed up” Shayne says with a cheeky grin.

“Sorry these two guys kept flirting with us.” Olivia jokes. I smile despite I’m terrified about getting a tattoo. I hear that they hurt. But it is one small step in helping me feel like a Dauntless and becoming a Dauntless. We enter the pallor. It is lightened up by bright blue and orange lights and the backlighting of the white boards that showcase the thousand plus designs available. It’s pretty quiet only a few people are in here. A young male with shaggy blonde hair getting a tattoo of a star on the right side of his neck and a middle aged woman with black hair and white streaks that flow through it. Her eyes small and angled and when she smiles the corners of her mouth crinkles. She talks to a young woman whilst she tattoos a heart with the number four in the centre of it on to the young woman’s wedding finger. Of course its Tris. My opportunity for me to understand who or what I am.

I look through the many designs (roses, stars, skulls, bones, dragons, ravens, flames etc) none really make me want to rush to get it permanently tattooed on to me.

“So Ruby anything that catches your eye?” Connor asks. He smells of ginger and limes. Nice. He is very good looking. He has a chance with a girl like that Christina.

“No what about you?” I ask. Sliding my finger across the smooth white board.

“Yeah this one.” He replies. I see him put his finger down on to a design of a lion where flames come off its main. Impressive and daring. “Between my shoulder blades.”

“So you need to take your top off?” I ask raising an eyebrow.

“You should be honoured I usually charge people for that.” He replies. I know he is joking.

“Gross.”

“Sorry, anyways don’t they look cute? Shayne and Olivia a Candor and Amity finally getting along.” He points over to Olivia and Shayne laughing and shoving each other whilst they look a tattoo designs. Amity and Candor have always had a one sided problem with one another, Candor believe Amity deceive to keep the waters calm.

“Nice design by the way. Does it mean anything?” I ask leaning against the table.

“Could do possibly.” he replies remaining illusive. I look again at the designs again, until I notice one that is of an eagle flying and breaking chains. Freedom and a new life. That tattoo is for me.

“This one.” I say tapping my finger on the design. “I’m getting this one.” Connor paints a wide smile showing off his pearl white teeth.

“Nice I like it. Where are you getting it?” He asks.                                                                                                 

“My wrist so I can show my transition to Dauntless.” I reply.  There’s a brief silence between me and Connor his blue eyes all over me and my green eyes observing him. The world around me has silenced almost. Or is it that I’m too distracted to listen?

“Alright who is next please?” The woman with black hair asks. I look over to her desk; Tris stands up from her chair and for a moment looks at me. She walks out of the pallor my chance to talk to her. I begin to follow her.

“Connor or Olivia can go I forgot something from the dorm I’ll be back.” I say whilst passing Shayne having his tattoo inked onto his shoulder. I follow Tris down the left hand side of the corridor, luckily she is going the way the dorm is located. I almost have to run to catch up to her. “Tris, wait.” I say quiet enough not to draw attention to myself but loud enough for her to hear. She stops and turns around; her freshly tattooed finger is still red and possibly sore.

“Nice to see you after you broke your brother’s heart.” She says with a slight pinch of anger in the way she says those words. “What do you want?” she asks folding her arms. I swallow the build up of saliva in my mouth.

“I’ve come to ask you about my test results from the day of the aptitude screening.” I say whispering so a group of passing by Dauntless don’t hear me.  Tris licks her pink lips with her tongue.

“I don’t think that is wise especially here….”

She begins to talk until I intercept her. “Please Tris, I want to know what I am and why I am a danger to the city.” I say adding a new sternness to my voice. She smiles and shakes her head.

“You haven’t changed have you Sonia? Even as a young girl in Abnegation you always asked questions, always wanted the truth about everything.” Tris utters. How does she know me from Abnegation? Was she from there? I run my mind through my memories and experiences I have from my time in Abnegation. Only three people ever have transferred from Abnegation Four, myself and…Beatrice Prior. This girl Tris was Beatrice Prior daughter of Marcus’s friends Mrs Natalie Prior and Mr Andrew Prior and Caleb’s Priors younger sister. Those two transferring to different Factions last year only added fuel to Erudite’s agenda of bad mouthing Abnegation. Just like me and Cheryl transferring this, year will probably do the same. Why do I feel guilty and selfish all of a sudden?

I’m shocked that I’m talking to Beatrice, I didn’t recognise her. I got use to seeing a girl who had her dark blonde hair tied up into a bun and wearing thick grey robes. Not a girl who is allowed to show her beauty whilst wearing a tight black top and having her hair down. No wonder Four is in love with her. “Beatrice?” I say barely able to speak.

“Took you awhile, listen as far as the world is aware you got an Amity result because that is what I manually entered on to the computer. You had better hope you don’t get found out here, trust me I know. I nearly lost my life last year many times.” She explains subliminally telling me that she is…Divergent. “I need to go. Be careful ok.” She says walking over to a girl with a shaved head. I need to keep a low head, if that is what Tris did then I’ll be ok right?

I quickly walk back to the pallor looking behind me in case I’m being stalked by people eager to kill me because I’m Divergent. But Tris manually changing my result should keep me alive. There’s five people in the pallor when I arrive back. Shayne his holding his right shoulder whilst he is watching Olivia get a tattoo of a rose on her thumb.

“Are you ok? You seem a little flustered. Erudite transfers giving you grief?” Shayne asks. I shake my head whilst touching my cheeks. Hot to the touch.

“Let’s see it then.” I say. Shayne pulls up the sleeve of his black t-shirt; he has a crucifix from his shoulder to just above his elbow. It looks good. “I didn’t know you were religious.” I say.

“Well most people in Candor are. I’m not wholly religious but I like to think that I have God at my side all of the time. I hear Abnegation is pretty religious as well.” He says pulling his sleeve back down. Wincing slightly at the pain it gives him when he touches it.

“We are. My…father and mother always wanted me and my…brother to say grace before every meal.” I say mentioning my imperfect family. The father who abused me and the mother and brother who both abandoned me. I notice Connor who has his shirt off getting the lion tattooed on to his shoulder blade. His body is muscular and tanned. All of a sudden my heart pumps itself into hyper drive. Why does a stranger make me feel nervous? Intimidated? Awkward? Alive? The female tattooist finishes and Connor lets his loose fitting shirt fall to his waist.

He gives me a small wink and I try to conceal the rush of blood to my face.

“Thanks Tori.” He says to the tattooist.

“Ok who is next?” she asks putting a fresh pair of white gloves. My heart beats into overdrive again and not from seeing Connor shirtless. But because I will have my first tattoo permanently inked onto me.

“Me.” I nervously say running my hand through my messy hair.

“Alright take a seat.” she says. I walk over to Tori’s desk. She is sterilising the tattoo instruments to prevent infection. “What would you like doing?” she asks. And I point to the bird that is flying and has broken chains.

“On my wrist please.” I say putting my left wrist on to the table. I feel the sting of her needle after she has applied the anti-septic. As she tattoos the design on to me I could see a tattoo of a black hawk on the back of her neck.

“What’s with the hawk?” I ask. Tori smiles and chuckles whilst I bite my lower lip to prevent me from screaming pain out.

“Well you Abnegation are becoming more curious by the day. In some cultures a hawk represents the sun, so whilst I was going through initiation I always thought if I had it tattooed onto me, then I would have light with me.” she explains.

“Oh so you are afraid of the dark?” I ask.

“Was afraid of the dark.” she replies putting emphasis on to the was.

“Oh right.” I say looking up to the ceiling’s dim blue light.

“Right that’s done. It will be sore for a few days.” Tori says wrapping my wrist up in tight Clingfilm. I look down to what reminds me of the day of the choosing ceremony, the day I secured a long fought for freedom.

“Thanks.” I stand up with a smile. This is the beginning of the fresh new life for me and a reminder that I have to fight one last time for it. All I need is to pass initiation. And I’ll be safe and happy.