Facing The Truth

Lauren's POV

I woke up the next morning with Camila in my arms. She was sound asleep on my chest. I smiled as I watched her sleep. She was so peaceful. Her chest moved in a constant up and down motion as her nose twitched from now and then. I moved some hair our of her face and admired her beautiful features. I traced her jawline with my index finger, then over her lips. Revisiting the memory from last night. I honestly, can't even deny it anymore. Ever since I kissed my best friend, I can't stop thinking about her. I miss her when she's gone, even if it's just for a few minutes. Her touch makes my skin tingle. Her lips...all I want to do is kiss them all the time. I hunger to feel them press against mine and it kills me to know that I can't...and that I shouldn't. And every time were close like this... I never want it to end. I never want this to end.

Reality is standing in the way of making her mine. She's with Austin Mahone, Hollywood's new pretty boy pop star. And I with Luis...the supposedly love of my life. Anyways, She'd never think of leaving someone like Austin for someone like me...because she doesn't think of me in that "way". I know she doesn't. Only because I've convinced her and even myself that everything I do is for the girls...when sometimes it's not. Like last night's kiss, I'm sure she thinks I only did it to calm her nerves. Which 5% of it was because of that but the other 95% was because I wanted to. Or even the kiss at the interview at first I did it for the girls then my true emotions took over. But Only if she knew... Maybe things would be different. but i'd never know.

"Mmmm...Lauren?" Camz said shifting her body in a upright sitting position.

She rubbed her right eye and yawned.

God she's adorable.

"Yeah?" I asked sitting up too.

"Thanks for last night-I mean thanks for calming me down..."She corrected her self.

I smiled. "Yeah."

" I don't know what I would do without you." She said then paused.

There was silence.

"Lauren? I think I-"

The door flew open. I glared at the person standing at the door. I couldn't make out the person because their face was hiding behind a large bokay of red roses and a large teddy bear hanging from their left hand . "Guess who?" A male voice said moving the roses out of his face then opening his arms.

"Austin!" Camila said running into his arms.

Camila then crashed their lips together. My jaw dropped and my heart... It felt as if there were a thousand knives stabbing it. It hurt, my chest to be more specific.

How dare he? He thinks he can just barge in here and interrupt us. And kiss my girl? And the roses... she doesn't even like roses not like he'd know that. And the teddy bear... okay she will obviously love that. but- Wait am I jealous? I started to feel tears form. I shook my head then walked out of the room. I couldn't stand being in there any longer. I know I would've ended up crying and I couldn't handle it if Camila ended up finding out about my feelings.

I ran. I didn't know where I was running but somehow I ended up in Dinah's room, luckily the farthest room from mine. I opened the door and closed it.

Dinah's head popped up from the covers. She rubbed her eyes and yawned

"WHO DARES INTERRUPT MY SLUMBER?"

I broke down completely. My legs lost all movement and I fell to the ground on my knees. Covering my face with my hands trying to keep back the tears. Dinah ran to me and hugged me. "Lauren what's wrong?!"

My body tensed up and I hid my face into my hands even more.

"Lauren... here let me help you up." Dinah said helping me get up and then sat me down on her bed.

I still covered my face. I hated being vulnerable and weak in front of people. I've always had.

Dinah sat by me and then pulled my hands out of my face. "Come on, " She said nudging me. "Let me see those beautiful eyes of yours..."

I wanted to laugh but I couldn't. I wasn't in the mood. She released her grip on my wrists. I then placed them on my lap, fiddling with my fingers.

"Hey Laur... can you tell Dr.Dinah what's wrong? I'm sure I can help."

"It's just..." I tried to say but couldn't find a real reason to what was wrong with me.

"Is it Luis?" She asked.

I shook my head.

"Is it Camila?"

I looked up at her. " I think so..."

"Tell me all about it."

I took a deep breath.

"Okay, you know how we've been faking it?"

She nodded.

"I'm not so sure that I am anymore."

Her eyes grew wide and so did a grin . " Aww Laur-"

"It's not a good thing!" I snapped at her.

She tilted her head in confusion.

" Dinah... she's my best friend. And I know she doesn't feel the same. I know because all she's been talking about this past month is Austin. Austin, Austin,Austin. Even this morning, after we've shared another kiss the night before, Austin came into our room surprising her with flowers and a big teddy bear. I've never seen her so happy. And just seeing that broke me. Because I couldn't stand the fact that she was happy with someone else. I wanted to be that someone else at that moment. Ever since that kiss at the interview, Dinah... everything changed. When I look at her my heart flutters and I begin to harvest a nest of butterflies in my stomach. Her touch tingles my skin and her eyes I can't look at them without loosing myself in them every time! And her lips... good lord don't even get me started... every time I see them I just want to kiss them, claim them mine. But I can't and these feelings are killing me."

"Why don't you just tell her how you feel?" Dinah asked.

My eyes widened.

"Are you kidding? That's like screaming for rain as I stand in the desert. She'll turn me down immediately then it'll be awkward and it'll never be the same. " I sighed. "I can't loose my best friend Dinah... She's my soulmate. I want to be apart of her life even if I'm not in the place I want to be in. Id write her a million love songs just to hear her sing. Travel up the highest mountain or sail across the sea if her life depended on it. I'd suffer everyday, just to know that she'd still be by my side. To protect her...from those stupid thunder storms. To pick her up when she falls...over and over again" I smiled. "To watch that goofy smile form on her face when she knows there's pizza down stairs, to hear her laugh at the stupid things I do. To watch her be herself around me and I around her. To watch her be happy even when I'm not. To die everyday waiting for her even if it never happens. Dinah.....I love her!" I said panting from all the breath I've lost from pouring out my heart and soul.

My eyes widened at the three little words I had just said. And I then realized that "Fuck, I really do love her."

I wiped off any remaining tears from my face with my sleeve. I then looked over at Dinah, curious of her reaction . Her face was drenched in tears. "Lauren...that was beautiful." She hugged me bawling into my shoulder.

I chuckled.

"Oh my gosh Dinah..get off. " I playfully pushed her.

She wiped her tears with her arm then put her hands in my shoulders. "Lauren, you have to tell her this. She has to love you back after you say this to her. God I would." She joked.

" I can't take the chance Dinah..."

"You might have too one day...you can't wait forever Lauren."

"On the contrary... I can wait for her. Forever."

Dinah cocked her brow.

"Bruh...Your whipped."

"Shut up." I said playfully punching her arm .

"Your not gonna be able to wait. Your under Camila's spell... She has you wrapped around her finger... you won't be able to resist Laur."

"Watch me."

"50 bucks you'll last a month...no a week!" Dinah joked.

I rolled my eyes.

"Okay then sheesh...A day."

I glared at her.

"Lauren, we both know that you love hard. You won't be able to-"She stopped herself as she saw me frown in realization.

There was a short silence.

Dinah sort of changed the subject.

"Hey Laur... what are you gonna do about Luis?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "Continue to date him I guess...it'll help hide my feelings from Camz."

"And Austin?"

"I guess... let them be." I frowned, feeling my heart sink as I said it.

"LET THEM BE?" Dinah, Normani and Ally's voice all said at the same time.

Dinah and I looked at eachother.

"What the hell?" I said walking up to the door opening it. Ally and Normani both fell into the doorway.

"Eavesdropping now are we?" Dinah smirked.

Normani motioned her hand "No.No. No. Just uh-"

"Checking the door." Ally blurted out.

I rolled my eyes.

"Anyways, dude you have to get your girl." Dinah smiled.

"How?" I asked.

"Make her fall in love with you of course!" Ally said.

" It's not as easy as it sounds." I said.

Normani walked up to me and hit the top of my head with her fist.

"Oww.."

" Listen here Jauregui, you damn right know that you're hot, have an awesome personality and voice. Stop being so insecure and get your girl."

"I'm not that hot..." I joked.

"Point is that you can have the girl of your dreams. but it's up to you to work for it." Normani said.

Her words in encouragement brought an instant rush of courage.

I nodded. "Yeah... you're right."

"Yeah Laur, make her fall for you slowly then all at once." Dinah said.

"The fault in our stars?" Ally asked.

"GIRL YOU KNOW IT." Dinah said.

"Up top." Ally said giving Dinah a high five.

"So?" Mani asked.

"I'm gonna try." I smiled.

"At a girl." Dinah said punching my arm.

The door knob began to turn and slowly open. Camila popped her head in. "Hey did I miss something?" She looked around as everyone stood silent." Why does it look like a skunk died in here?"

No one said anything.

I glared at the girls hoping they knew not to say anything or I'd kill them.

Camila then turned her attention to me. "Everything okay Laur?"

I nodded.

"You don't look okay..." she said analyzing my behavior.

"She's just home sick."Dinah told her.

"We all are." Ally added.

"Yeah, we were just venting." Normani smiled.

She nodded understandingly.

She looked at everyone in the room for a second. " Girls... can I talk to Lauren alone for a sec?"

They nodded.

"Girl but in your room because I'm tired." Dinah said getting under her covers.

Normani and Ally exited the room shortly after.

Camz held her hand out for me to hold. I got up and walked over to the door to receive it. We walked to our room. Then sat on our beds facing eachother.

I played with my fingers and looked down.

"Lauren, is everything okay? You stormed out of the room after Austin came in."

"Yeah. I just didn't want you to see me cry." I told her avoiding eye contact.

"Why would you want to cry?"

I didn't say anything.

"Because you were homesick?" She asked.

I nodded my head.

Damn, she was oblivious. I couldn't of had made it more obvious.

"Lauren, I want you to know that you can tell me anything."

"I know that it's just he was here and I didn't want to ruin the moment." (Your happiness) I thought.

She smiled at me sadly. "Screw the moment. Your more important to me. Okay? I want you to know that."

I smiled. "Thanks Camz."

"No problem and don't ever do that again you almost gave me a heart attack."

I smiled. I was more important than him? Than that special moment? Me?

"Lauren?" I heard her say.

"Yeah..." I said snapping out of it.

"Nothing just wanted to make sure you were still breathing."she joked.

I giggled. Then I vaguely remembered the conversation we had before Austin interrupted us.

"Hey, what were you going to say, just before Austin came in?" I asked her.

"Oh"She said avoiding eye contact.

"I uh" she began to get nervous I heard it in her tone."Lauren, I um I don't remember." she said chuckling to her self with her arm behind her head.

She was lying I could sense it from a mile away.

I shrugged my shoulders and let it go. I knew at this point she'd never tell me. But what could of it had been?

Was she going to confess her unrequited love for me? Nah who am I kidding . After all, even if it was it didn't matter. Because someday, one way or another, I'd make her mine.