Han Jisung: Reject

~ Han Jisung ~

I was so nervous I could barely breathe.

I had it all planned out in my head—how I was finally going to tell Minho how I felt. It wasn't like I hadn't thought about it a million times before, imagining how he'd react. Would he smile? Would he look at me like I was stupid? Or, in my wildest dreams, would he tell me he felt the same?

My heart was pounding the whole day. I couldn't even focus on anything. Every time I saw him, my stomach twisted in knots, like I was about to throw up. He had no idea what was going through my mind—how I was basically about to drop a bomb on everything we had.

We were at the dorm, just hanging out like always. He was sitting on the couch, scrolling through his phone, completely unaware of the chaos inside me. I could feel the words burning in my throat, wanting to spill out, but I couldn't. Not yet. I had to wait for the right moment.

God, what if this ruined everything?

I shook my head, trying to push that thought away. No, I couldn't think like that. This was Minho. We were best friends. Even if he didn't feel the same, he wouldn't hate me, right? Sure, he might think I'm an idiot, for really believing what the Stay's were saying.

For believing in Minsung.

My thoughts were spiraling. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I had to do it. I had to just... say it.

"Hey, Minho-hyung," I started, my voice barely above a whisper. He looked up at me, his eyes curious.

"What's up?" he asked, casual as ever. He had no idea what I was about to say. I wished I could be that calm.

"I need to tell you something," I said, feeling my palms sweat. My heart was racing. This was it. I was about to confess to my best friend. I was about to tell him I loved him.

He raised an eyebrow, clearly noticing how weird I was acting. "Okay... go ahead."

Fuck it.

I took a deep breath, forcing the words out before I could stop myself. "Minho, I... I'm in love with you. At least I think I am."

Please don't hate me.

The silence that followed was deafening. My heart felt like it was going to explode. His eyes widened, just for a second, before he blinked and his hardened.

"Jisung..." His voice was so quiet, but the way he said my name—it hurt.

I already knew. I already knew what was coming.

"I don't really feel that way about you, Ji. I'm sorry."

It hit me like a punch to the gut, knocking all the air out of me. I had imagined a hundred different scenarios, but nothing prepared me for how much it would hurt to actually hear him say it.

He didn't feel the same.

I tried to keep it together, tried to force a smile and pretend like it was fine, like I wasn't falling apart inside. "Yeah... yeah, no, I get it. It's fine."

But it wasn't fine. Nothing about this was fine.

"I'm sorry, Jisung," Minho said, and I could hear the genuine regret in his voice. I knew he didn't want to hurt me. But that didn't make it any easier. It didn't change the fact that my heart was breaking.

I mumbled something—honestly, I don't even know what—and bolted out of the room before he could see the tears starting to well up in my eyes. I couldn't stay there. I couldn't be around him right now. Not after that.

I needed to get out. I needed to be anywhere but there.

I ended up in Chan's room, where Felix was too. My whole body felt numb, like I was walking through a fog. My chest ached, and my throat was so tight I could barely breathe.

Chan and Felix looked up. "Han, hey—" Felix didn't even get to finish before he saw my face and his smile instantly fell. "What happened?"

I couldn't answer. My chest was so tight, and I just felt... empty. Before I knew it, Felix had pulled me inside, his arms wrapping around me. "Jisung, what's wrong?" Chan asked, worry lacing his tone. I knew I had to tell them. But I also knew it would feel like I'm reliving what happened just seconds ago.

The tears I had been holding in just... spilled. I collapsed into them, my body trembling as I finally let it all out.

"I told him," I choked out between sobs, my voice barely audible. "I told Minho I loved him... and he doesn't feel the same."

Chan's arms were around me in seconds, his hand rubbing soothing circles on my back as Felix tightened his hold on me, whispering soft words of comfort I couldn't even process. It didn't matter. Nothing could fix this.

I felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest. I had built up this moment for so long, believing that maybe—just maybe—Minho could feel the same way. But now... now I didn't know how to face him. How to be around him. Everything was ruined.

"I'm so sorry," Felix murmured, his voice soft and full of sympathy. "I'm so, so sorry."

I couldn't stop crying. My chest ached, and all I could do was bury my face in Felix's shoulder, letting the tears fall.

Chan's voice was gentle, but I could hear the anger beneath it. Not at me, but at the situation. At the fact that I was hurting like this. "Jisung, you didn't deserve that. I'm sorry."

I knew they were right, but it didn't stop the pain. It didn't stop the overwhelming sense of loss. I had risked everything—our friendship, my heart—and now I didn't even know where to go from here.

"H-how am I supposed to go on?" I sobbed, my voice shaky and broken as the tears kept coming.

Chan's hand never left my back, his presence warm and steady. "You'll get through this," he said quietly. "It'll hurt, but you'll get through it."

I wanted to believe him, but it felt impossible. How could I ever be okay when Minho, my best friend, didn't love me the way I loved him?

Felix pulled back slightly, just enough to look at me. His face was soft, eyes filled with concern. "You're stronger than you think, Jisung."

"He didn't even hesitate," I whispered, the memory of Minho's face still fresh in my mind. "He just... he didn't even have to think about it."

Felix's grip on me tightened. "It's his loss," he muttered, his voice low but firm. "He doesn't know what he's missing."

But it didn't feel like Minho was missing anything. It felt like I was the one losing everything.

"I'm such an idiot," I mumbled, burying my face in my hands. "Why did I even think this was a good idea? I should've just kept my mouth shut."

"No," Chan said firmly, pulling me closer. "Don't say that. You were honest about your feelings, and that's brave. It's better than bottling it up and letting it eat you alive."

Felix nodded in agreement. "Exactly. You did the right thing. It's not your fault he doesn't feel the same."

But it did feel like my fault. Like maybe if I had just been different, if I had acted differently, Minho might've seen me in the way I wanted him to. Maybe he would've loved me back.

"I just want it to stop hurting," I whispered, my voice barely audible.

Felix kissed the top of my head, his voice soft. "It will. I promise. You won't feel like this forever."

But right now, it felt like forever. Like the pain would never go away, like I would never be able to look at Minho the same way again.

And that was the worst part of it all—knowing that I'd lost not only the possibility of love but also the comfort of our friendship.

~ Lee Minho ~

I stood frozen outside the door, my hand gripping the frame so tightly it hurt. I didn't mean to hear everything, but I couldn't move once I realized what Jisung was talking about.

I hadn't expected him to come to Chan and Felix so soon after what happened. He bolted out of the room so quickly, I thought he needed space. I thought giving him time to process would be the best thing for both of us, but now... now I was hearing him cry because of me.

Because I couldn't give him the answer he wanted.

Hearing the pain in his voice—it tore me apart. I had never imagined my rejection would hit him this hard. I mean, I knew it would hurt, but this... this was something else. I had never wanted to hurt him. I just wanted to be honest. Isn't that what you're supposed to do with your best friend?

But the moment I saw his face when I told him I didn't feel the same... it was like I'd shattered something that couldn't be put back together.

And now, hearing him sobbing like that, blaming himself, calling himself an idiot... God, I hated it. I hated myself for being the reason he was like this. I wanted to burst in there and tell him he wasn't stupid, that he wasn't to blame for anything.

But I couldn't. I couldn't just walk in there after what I said. I pressed my forehead against the door, closing my eyes as Jisung's words echoed in my head. "He didn't even hesitate..." That wasn't true. I did hesitate. I hesitated because I didn't want to lose him. But what was I supposed to do? Lie to him? Pretend I felt something I didn't? That would've been worse. It would've destroyed both of us even more in the long run.

Still... I couldn't shake the guilt. I couldn't stop thinking about the way he had looked at me, the hope in his eyes crumbling as soon as I spoke. And now, hearing him sobbing in Chan and Felix's arms... I realized just how much I had broken him.

Maybe Felix was right. Maybe I didn't know what I was missing.

But it didn't matter. I couldn't force myself to feel something that wasn't there, no matter how badly I wished I could take away Jisung's pain.

I took a deep breath, trying to pull myself together. I had to leave. I couldn't stand here and listen to him cry anymore. I had already done enough damage.

—