This love

Joe woke up with the worst headache of his life, confused and as thirsty as a man who had spent two days in the desert. He woke up on a strange bed, in a house that was certainly not his own, and the images of last night began rushing through his mind"Fuck our agreement..." He kissed her passionately as she wrapped her legs around his waist. "Hey hot shot, how are you feeling?" Victoria asked playfully as she walked into her room. "Hi Vic, uhm, I'm so embarrassed. Gosh I must have made a fool out of myself. See, that's why I don't drink" He softly smiled, wishing he could disappear from the face of the earth, but the desire to know what was going through her mind was enough to keep him from running away this very second. "Nothing I haven't seen before, my friend. You know kissing a girl while drunk doesn't count" She tried to play it cool with him, as to not add to his embarrassment. But Joe wasn't having it anymore. He felt angered, increasingly frustrated and annoyed that none of his attempts to get her to understand his feelings for her was getting through. In a quick movement, he stood up from the bed, picked up his jacket and headed downstairs, almost tripping on the way down. "Joe where are you going, what the fuck is your problem?" Victoria followed him to the front door, unable to understand the reason for his sudden urge to leave. "I can't keep playing this game, I'm sorry Victoria. You can pretend that you don't feel anything else for me all you want, but you and I both know it's not true" He yelled at her, as he headed towards the door, he turned around to mutter his final words to her: "You know? for someone so smart, you're pretty damn stupid when it comes to your emotions. Maybe that's why none of your relationships have worked" Joe had landed the final blow, he had made it clear to her that he was done with her rollercoaster of a friendship and the turmoil of emotions she refused to accept. He wasn't even sorry about the hurtful comments he made, a petty feeling of satisfaction washed over him, he was a free man. And yet, in this new found freedom, he felt more lost than he had ever felt before.

Victoria was crushed at what Joe had told her, she felt incredibly violated and alone, those things he threw in her face, insecurities she had shared with him in the safety of their shared complicity. She sat in the old couch of her home, staring at the front door, hoping, wishing for Joe to come back and apologize, wishing she could go back in time and get out of her own way and just commit herself to him, God knows how much she desired to. But nothing happened, Joe never came back, she never received a single text or call for the entire day of their fight. Nor the next. And Victoria realized that this was probably it, she had fucked her best and most important relationship before it ever materialized. Joe was right all the time, it was her fault that her relationships never stuck.

"And you told her that she was to blame for the lack of relevant relationships in her life? Don't you think that's a little harsh? I mean she is your friend after all, and for what you've told me about her, she has been nothing but kind and caring to you" Dr. Paulson scribbled in her yellow wide ruled notebook, as she talked to her distressed patient. Joe felt like shit about his actions, the freedom frenzy had lasted for the entirety of his ride back to his place, but as he was parking the car, he realized the size of the major fuck up he made. With Victoria out of his life, he had no meaningful connections, no one to talk to about his increasing fear of playoffs, or how he had nightmares about losing, so he resorted to the one person who he could actually pay to listen to him. "I know doc, but cut me some slack, I feel like a dancing monkey, moving to whichever song she plays. She says she wants to try to advance our relationship and I'm in . She says she wants space and I agree. Yesterday I finally snapped, I came to her place and confessed my feelings and all I got was her gaslighting me into thinking it didn't mean shit because I was drunk" Joe was an absolute mess, the dark circles under his eyes indicated a severe sleep deprivation, his hair was greasy and all over the place, he hadn't taken a shower since Sunday even though he desperately needed one, and his eyes were swollen and red from crying himself to sleep last night, not that he would admit that to anyone, including Dr. Paulson. "My guesses are that she's scared, if what you say it's right and she's never had a partner she was deeply in love with, she probably feels petrified of her evolving devotion for you. And you came after her like a wounded animal lashing out, instead of supporting her and calming her fears, you showed up drunk at her house, mumbled some stuff about love, thought that she would be swooning for you, and then you threw a fit when she wasn't exactly thrilled at your displays of affection, correct?" Dr. Paulson slightly lifted her glasses up the bridge of her nose. "Damn doc, you sound like you're taking her side" Dr. Paulson laughed. "I don't take sides, Joe, but it's my job to make sure you understand the scope of your actions, and how the impact those you love, you hurt her deeply, she confided in you and you payed her back by betraying the trust she gave you. It wouldn't surprise me if she was even more weary about pursuing a romantic relationship with you" Dr. Paulson's words stung, but Joe knew that she was right, and he had probably put the nail in the coffin of a relationship they never got to solidify. "Do you think I lost her, doc?" he said with a cracked voice, holding back tears. "I think a bond as special and deep as yours is strong, and she probably is as hurt and lonely as you feel right now. However I would recommend you two keep your distance and let the anger fizzle out, then you can try to reconnect and reassess where you stand" She genuinely felt bad for him, he looked like a lost puppy. Joe walked out of his therapy session feeling a dash of hope that maybe, Victoria was thinking of him, and she felt as hopeless and sorrowful as he did.

And Victoria felt the exact same way, so much so that she felt the need to physically escape the memory of Joe, and in an act of stupidity guided by her drunkenness on the pain of losing Joe, she splurged on a last minute flight to Vancouver, seeing as she had a few days before having to go back to the lab. She planned on surprising her parents, but mostly, she was sickened by the way Cincinnati screamed Joe's name to her.She thought about sending him a text saying that she would be out of the country for a while, but she was sure she wouldn't get a reply, and couldn't handle that type of rejection for now, the pain was already too much.

She Ubered to the airport and uneventfully boarded her first plane to Chicago that same afternoon, with nothing more than a quickly packed cary on bag and her sore feelings. She checked her and Joe's conversations every 5 minutes, hoping for a text, his social media to see if she could get a glimpse of what he was doing, but it was radio silent on his end. She finally texted him before boarding her plane to Canada, in a last desperate attempt to get him to talk to her, it was a simple and short message;Vi🧬Hey Joe, just writing to let you know I will be out of the country for a few days. I'm boarding a flight to Vancouver right now. Hope this message finds you well. She activated the airplane mode and fell asleep for the entirety of the flight home. Once she had landed and went through customs, she headed towards her parent's place, using the Canada line and then taking a bus in King Edward station, luckily for her she still knew that route by heart. She knocked on her parent's door, standing on their wooden porch with her heart pounding in her chest, she hadn't seen them for a while. Her mother, Vanessa opened the door and immediately pulled her daughter into a tight hug. They both started crying, Victoria sobbed on her mom's shoulder for a solid 10 minutes, not saying anything. "What is it honey? Oh my love I'm so happy you're here, why are you crying?" Vanessa was getting concerned. "It's nothing mom, I just really missed you" LIE. LIAR Victoria thought. "Where's dad?" She asked, wiping the tears from her face.  "He's playing tennis with Micah and Michell at the club right now, honey if we had known you were coming we would've cleared our schedules for you" "I wanted to surprise you guys. I've truly missed you deeply" Victoria couldn't stop crying, it was as if a cable finally clicked in her brain, she was beginning to grasp the depth of her loss. "Baby girl, we've missed you too. Come on, let's get you some breakfast. You must be exhausted from flying all night" Her mom guided her to the kitchen and prepared food. "So where is that handsome boy you have been in the news with lately?" Her mom blurted out, while she was finishing her omelet. Victoria felt those words as sharp as knives to her aching heart. "Joe? Uhm we're just friends mom. Or we were at least. I don't think he'll ever want to talk to me again" Victoria said, her voice filled with sadness. "What makes you say that honey?" Her mom asked and that was all Victoria needed to tell her everything about their turmoil of a friendships, the early beginning, the late night talks, the media frenzy, the promise to keep everything private, the first game she attended, the 1975 concert, the fundraiser dance, Christmas with the bengals, New Year's celebration in New York, their kisses, everything. "Well that man is clearly in love with you sweetie, and it seems like you are too. Why this reluctance to admit it?" "Because.... Mom you know how everything in my love life has been. Shit fizzles out before it gets too deep, and I'm back to square one. I don't wanna risk that" "Risks are necessary sometimes. You aren't one to run away from a problem, you're the type to face them and figure them out" Her mom reassured them. "You know what will cheer you up? Call Dan and Lynn, I'm sure they'll want to hang out with you" Victoria knew her college friends were still living in Vancouver, and she really needed emotional support right now. Her friends were happy to meet with her that same night, and they all agreed to go out to one of their favorite clubs. Victoria hugged them both when she saw them, the trio was inseparable during their early twenties, and not much had changed since then. There was a little secret they kept though, Victoria and Dan had hooked up in college a few times, and not even their close friend Lynn knew about it. They swore they would never tell a soul. "Hey girl long time no see" Dan pulled her into a tight embrace. "I know I would visit more often" she joked. Victoria was ready for a night of dancing her problems away, she was wearing a sparkling silver mini dress and the highest heels she could find in her old closet. Dan thought she looked as ravishing as the day she had left.

Unbeknownst to Victoria, Joe had actually red her text, and he had booked a flight to Canada the minute he got it. He had never been to Vancouver, he barely had an unexpired passport and he had absolutely no idea where exactly in Vancouver she would be. It didn't matter, nothing mattered in the moment, except for getting her back. He reached his destination late at night, after his connecting flight on Chicago. And he had absolutely no clue as to where to go next.

@marlowe_tori: My girl❤️‍🩹 always and forever @brokelynnLocation: The Penthouse night club 📍

Victoria was barely getting started, she had ordered two tequila shots and she felt the dizziness of the alcohol effects kicking in. The veil of her pain was slowly fading away, and she was beginning to feel a little bit better. Lynn was too preoccupied with flirting with a tall man who had sent her a drink, and left her and Dan alone for a minute. Dan asked her to dance, and she agreed, they were both lost in the music, laughing and enjoying the moment, immersing themselves into the crowd, Dan held her head in between his hands, and he leaned into her to say something. "You look beautiful, Tori, so much that a scary giant dude is looking at me like he wants to murder me right now" he joked. But Victoria knew who he was talking about. She turned around to see him standing there in all of his glory. Handsome blonde man with mesmerizing blue eyes. Victoria excused herself from the dance floor and practically ran towards Joe. He didn't say a thing, just grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the club. "What in the world are you doing here?" She asked. "How did you find me?" "What? Joe?" He grinned, "The story you posted had a location tag. I got your text and came here to talk to you" "You came all the way to Canada? You know you could just text me back" "Victoria, you're so infuriating, you frustrate me beyond words, and I can't live without you. I came here to tell you that" "I'm a pain in the ass but you miss me it's what you're saying" she joked, feeling like she could finally breathe. "Imagine my disappointment when I get here, and I see you dancing with some guy" He said. "He's just a friend""Like I am to you?" Joe asked, hurt by the thought of her being with someone else. "You aren't just that. I can't keep pretending either. I have no idea what we're doing, but I know that I need you with me. You keep me grounded, you make my days better, I...I love you" Joe interrupted her to kiss her, this time felt different, it wasn't just a make out moment, he felt his heart warming up, it was as if he had been reborn. In that moment he knew, it didn't matter how much it costed them, he couldn't give her up, there's nothing he wouldn't risk to be with her. And very soon he would have to prove it.

Heeeey so these two finally got around to accept their feelings, yay for them, I promise this is barely the beginning though. Love XX