Chapter 4, The Aftermath

(AN: sorry, I've been very unmotived lol well happy pride month btw and art credit to clownmonarch on twt)

It's been a full week since what happened, well, happened.

Getting over it is the second hardest thing to do but not seeing him is the first. He started to hang out with his friends at lunch again and when we lock eyes it's agony. My limbs grow stiff as I have nothing to look forward to and zilch to think about. The days go grey. If I wanted to, I bet I could disappear and not a person would notice.

Sal:

I feel so sick when I think about that day. I want to talk to him, but Larry found out. Now my friends don't want me to even see him. One, it's not really their business but I now know Travis isn't as bad as he seems. Two, I control who I'm friends with but I know they are just trying to save me from heartbreak. Wait...

Hey Larry, I know you think that I shouldn't be friends with Travis but it's going to be my mistake. I need to personally experience this because something could come out of or I could learn from it. Heartbreak = learning experience! 

And sent. I hope he understands. Larry is the most caring person I know, that's why he is so protective. They all know Travis as this kid who's homophobic and is the pastor's son but like everyone, he has his layers. Like any normal person. I wish he could see I was normal. His standards of normal are the complete opposite to what I am, and I understand he was raised that way but it makes it that more challenging to become...friends. Sometimes I feel like pulling all my hair out when I think about him. I want him but does he really want me? Maybe he does but he sure as hell doesn't act like it. I think he just doesn't want to accept it but that's understandable with the environment he's living in.

Travis:

Everywhere I look, all I can see is him. His voice echoes in my mind. Every moment all I can think of is the moment and I just want to restart my brain and never think about him. But I don't want to delete the kiss, I know he's so much more than a kiss and that's what makes me sick to my stomach. Every angle I look at my situation still tells me that he's the one just not the time. But I want it to be the time. I don't want to wait for him. I want to move to a new town and be the cute stereotypical suburban family. I don't want to cry but I can feel the tears streaming down my face. If he was here would he wipe my tears away? "Father I'm going for a jog, we didn't do anything in P.E. today," I say to my dad who is sitting reading on the couch. "Fine," he says and I walk out the door. The sun is setting so I have to be fast. I remember one time in the bathroom we were talking and he mentioned something about 'his apartment' and there is only one apartment complex close enough to go to our school so that's where I go. I run and run and run until I end up at the Addison Apartments. "Uh, hello does a Sal Fisher live here?" I ask the first person I see, "Yeah room 402, fourth floor" they say. I take the elevator and step into the hallway to find his room. When I find it I almost immediately knock but second-guesses rush into my head, but I knock anyway. "Hello?" says a familiar voice from inside. He opens the door, "Travis? Travis!" he says excitedly and I blush, he's excited to see me. "Hi.." I look down then at him, "Come in" and I do. "Dad, I'm having someone over please be nice," he says and we go to his room, as we pass his dad he waves.

"I'm sorry for coming over," I say sitting down on his bed as he follows "I know this is kind of creepy but I remembered you saying something about an apartment and I don't know any other apartments and I just really needed well, I guess wanted to see you" He looks at me while I speak, then he takes his mask off. "Can I?" I know what he means. Before I could say yes...

I kiss him.