Chapter 30: Spices & Cheese*

It is now 2 and a half weeks before Christmas and I'm waiting on Spencer to come home from the case he just wrapped up with the team. I'm sitting on the living room couch watching an old rerun of "Friends" on nick at nite with a glass of wine and Ryder curled up on my lap. I hadn't heard much from Spencer the last few days, so I don't know much about the case. I just know he's on the way home. When he doesn't talk to me much I never know what to expect from him when he comes home. I hear the key in the door and Ryder perks up and wags his tail at the sound, knowing it's probably Spencer finally coming home. When Spencer walks in, finally, Ryder launches off the couch to greet him. Spencer comes in and hangs up his stuff by the door, ignoring Ryder and his excitement to see him. After a second he bends down and pets Ryder briefly. At his silence I slowly stand up and say "Spence? You okay?" He just shakes his head and walks to the kitchen. I slowly follow him to the kitchen and watch him pour himself a glass of whiskey, a bigger glass than he normally drinks after a hard case. I decide to watch quietly and observe before I say anything. I don't know what kind of state he is in or where his mind has taken him. I sit down at the island as he leans against the counter, facing me but not looking at me. I quietly ask "do you want to talk about it?" He coldly says "no," and doesn't say anything else, slowly sipping his whiskey. I nod and say "I'm going to go to bed, you know where to find me. I love you, Spencer." He nods and doesn't say anything back which hurts me a bit. I try not to take it personally. I go brush my teeth and wash my face before getting in bed with Ryder. I lay there for a while, silently worrying about my boyfriend. I'm curled up with Ryder and I lie still for so long I start to fall asleep when I hear the door creak open. I hear Spencer come in and quietly walk to the bathroom where he shuts the door behind him. I don't move and just pretend to be asleep. After a few minutes he comes back and takes off his clothes before putting on a pair of pajama pants and crawling into bed with me. I am laying still, facing his side of the bed in my position. Once he gets in bed with me he gently wraps an arm around me and pulls me closer to him, kissing my temple and saying "I love you. I'm sorry," assuming I'm asleep as he holds me tight and slowly falls asleep next to me. I sit there and wonder what could be affecting him so much, what could make him so cold to me? I decide to just be happy for now that he came back to me before allowing myself to drift off to sleep in Spencer's embrace.

•••••

The next morning I wake up and see Spencer still sleeping next to me. I decide to take the day off and spend it with him because he usually has the day off after cases wrap up. I think he probably needs me, or somebody at least, after his behavior last night. I do my stay at home morning routine quietly and leave the bedroom to make some coffee and cook some breakfast. I decide to make waffles and scrambled eggs for us and wait for Spencer to wake up. I sit at the island drinking my coffee and start to eat my breakfast when I hear footsteps coming down the hall. I look up and smile "hey Spence! I made breakfast for us." He looks at me confused "why aren't you at work?" I slowly get up and walk towards him "you seemed like you might need somebody right now, Spence, after how you came home last night." He nods and says "I'm fine. You can go to work." I shake my head "Spencer, I already called in, it's done." He seems angry and I have no idea why. He raises his voice slightly and says "Annie, I don't need you to baby me." I take a deep breath and say "Spencer, I am not trying to baby you. Even the most well adjusted and mature adults need somebody sometimes." I notice his fists are clenched at his side. I nod and say "well I'll go take Ryder for a walk and give you some privacy." He doesn't say anything as I go back to the room to change into leggings and tennis shoes. I go back into the kitchen and get Ryder ready for a walk. I look at Spencer and say "I get that you're upset and it's probably something I'll never understand, but you don't have to treat me like this. Eat some breakfast and have some coffee. Please try to be in a better mood when I get back. Or at least talk to me about why you're so upset so I can help." I don't wait for an answer and I take Ryder and leave before he can even say anything. As I walk Ryder and he happily trots along the sidewalk I wrack my brain for what could have Spencer so upset that he's bringing it home with him. He's usually so good about compartmentalizing or at least talking it out with me or Morgan or whoever. Then an idea hits me. I take out my phone and dial Morgan's number. He picks up on the fourth ring with a gruff "Morgan." I say "hey, Morgan, it's Annie." Morgan says "oh hey Annie what's up?" I chuckle lightly before asking "can you clue me in on why my boyfriend is being so grumpy with me?" Morgan hums before saying "it's probably because Strauss forced JJ to transfer to a position at the Pentagon last night. It was very sudden." I hum in understanding before asking "that's all? Nobody died or got hurt or anything?" Morgan says "no we actually saved the victim last night and put away the two guys who tried to kill her." I chuckle and say "so he's just mad about JJ leaving?" Morgan hums and says "I guess so? He was pretty quiet last night so I thought he was upset, but I didn't think this was something he'd sulk about so long?" I shake my head and say "I don't know what has him so upset either." I hum before saying "thanks for the insight, Morgan. I'll keep you updated on him." Morgan says "okay let me know if you need anything, Annie?" I say "you got it," and hang up. On the way back to the apartment I try to get a speech ready or just something so I'm prepared for what Spencer might say or be upset. I just want to be there for him and after this long he should know that. I get inside the apartment with Ryder and unhook the leash from his harness before walking in to the kitchen where Spencer is sitting, finishing his breakfast and coffee. I stand across the island from him, arms crossed defensively, ready to get shut down again and ask "so, do you want to talk about it now?" He shakes his head, not making eye contact with me. I take a deep breath and say "okay, you have 4 options. 1. You talk to me about this. 2. You talk to Morgan or Hotch or whoever about this. 3. You talk to a therapist about this if you don't want to talk to any of us. 4. You sit and sulk over whatever has happened and don't get help from anybody. None of those options include you getting an attitude with me and shutting me down when all I want is to help you. If you don't want to talk about it with me I understand and I will respect that, but please don't take it out on me." Spencer looks up at me finally and I see tears in his eyes. I immediately drop the defensive act and go to hold him. He's sitting on the barstool and I'm standing next to him as I hold him tight, tucking his head into my neck and running my fingers through his hair and my other hand down his back. He doesn't let out full sobs, but I hear the sniffles and I feel the tears wetting the t shirt on my shoulder. He says without moving "Strauss forced JJ to take a promotion at the Pentagon." I nod and just decide to pretend that I didn't already know this piece of information. I ask "why was JJ forced to take a promotion?" Spencer shakes his head slightly and tells me "Strauss said it looked bad on her and the team if JJ denied it. I don't understand it. JJ has been there with us since I started at the BAU." I nod my head and hum my acknowledgment of the statement. I then say "baby, I know this is so tough for you to face this change. You'll still be able to see her outside of work. Her house is still just twenty minutes away." Spencer nods "I..I know that. That's not why I've been so upset." I gently pull back to look him in the eye as I didn't expect that statement. I ask him "oh? Then what has you so upset, Spence?" He shakes his head and looks down, he hesitates before saying "my first initial reaction to JJ leaving the BAU was that I wanted to get a fix of Dilaudid. I didn't think that I needed to talk to you or Morgan or JJ or anybody. In that moment when I was upset my mind and body both immediately wanted to turn to drugs to relieve the emotions I was feeling. I was just so embarrassed and ashamed of that." I nod my head and gently lift his head up by his chin to look in my eyes. I gently wipe his tears with my thumbs and say "Spencer, you know just as well as I do that you can be clean and off drugs for decades and still have cravings. There's no reason to be ashamed of it, especially not with me. When I told you I would be here for you if you were craving or even if you relapsed, I meant it." He maintains eye contact until I quit talking. He sniffles and nods in acknowledgment. I ask him "baby, please be honest with me, did you relapse?" Spencer looks up at me, slightly shocked and says "no, I didn't, I was just really tempted." I nod my head and say "okay, then this will be a lot easier." He nods and says "I am afraid of what would've happened if you didn't take off of work today. I'm afraid I would've ended up relapsing if you weren't here." I nod and say "I understand. There's no shame in it. Addiction isn't a choice, it's a disease. Please just talk to me when you feel like this. I know you don't want to relapse and I don't want you to relapse either. I will never be angry at you for craving it, especially when something big happens. Just please talk to me and we will figure it out together." He nods and he starts to tear up again. I pull Spencer into my embrace again and say "I love you, Spencer. I love you so much it scares me." He sniffles and laughs slightly before saying "it scares me how much you love me, too." I scoff and pull away as Spencer chuckles at his joke. As I start to fully pull away from him he grabs my hand and pulls me in for another hug and says "I love you, too, Annie." I hold him tight for a few seconds longer and kiss him on the cheek when I pull back. I smile at him and ask "why don't we have a Harry Potter marathon today and just be lazy all day long?" He smiles, finally, and nods "I'd really like that."

•••••

Later that night Spencer and I are eating our door dashed McDonald's and I ask him "so Spence, what days and times are our flights for Christmas?" He swallows the bite of his cheeseburger and says "we are going to be in Vegas from December 21st through the 24th and then the morning of the 24th we will fly in to Nashville and rent a car and drive to your home town until the 27th and then come back to DC." I nod my head and ask "what are the flight times?" He nods and says "we fly out of Dulles at 11:30 am eastern time on December 21st and fly into Vegas at 2 pm pacific standard time. We will fly out of Vegas at 7 am pacific standard time on December 24th and land in Nashville at 12:40 pm central time. Then we will fly out of Nashville at 2 pm central time on December 27th and land at Dulles at 5:10 pm eastern time. " I nod and then ask "what airline are we flying?" He chuckles and says "American Airlines. Did you listen at all when we booked all of this like a month ago?" I grin and shake my head "nope. That's why I have a genius boyfriend with an eidetic memory." He chuckles and shakes his head as we continue eating our dinner. After a couple minutes of silence I ask him "you feeling better, now?" He nods and clears his throat before saying "much better" and grabs my hand, squeezing it. I decide to not discuss the topic anymore and ask him "so what should I pack for Vegas in December? I've never been!" Spencer chuckles "it'll probably be fairly cold, but much warmer than here. Around 60 degrees Fahrenheit I'm guessing. So pack layers." I nod and ask him "so are we going to go to any clubs or to a casino while we are there?" Spencer chuckles "I guess we can if that's what you want. I'm surprised you didn't ask about wedding chapels." I laugh loudly at that "Spencer, I've been mentally planning my wedding since I was in like middle or high school, a Las Vegas wedding chapel isn't going to do it for me." Spencer nods but doesn't say anything. I ask him "what's wrong? Did I say something that upset you?" Spencer shakes his head and asks "you've imagined this dream fairytale wedding for a decade at least; was I ever a part of that dream?" I smile softly at Spencer "the minute you asked me for my number you became the imaginary man at the altar in my dream wedding." He blushes and smiles while trying to hide his face. I chuckle and ask "what about you Spence? Did you ever plan your wedding?" He scoffs "I never thought I would have a wedding, honestly." I raise an eyebrow at this "oh really?" Spencer nods "I was bullied relentlessly growing up. Girls would trick me into thinking they liked me only to embarrass me in front of their friends. So I guess I just became skeptical of any girl ever liking me after all of those experiences." I listen intently and nod "you don't know how much I want to turn into an unsub and hunt down all of those people now. That's awful, uncalled for, and just plain mean." Spencer chuckles and shakes his head "don't do that. I'm fine now." I squeeze his hand and say "well, you have me now, so I'm sure that's much better." Spencer smiles warmly as he nods before he leans in to lightly peck my lips. I laugh and smile at the loving gesture. I ask him after a beat of silence "so marriage is something you want? One day?" Spencer smiles and nods "one day. With the right girl." I giggle "am I the right girl?" Spencer giggles back "if you're the wrong girl then I don't want to find the right girl." I laugh heartily at this and say "God, Spencer, you are so cheesy sometimes!" He laughs and nods. I get up to pick up the trash from our McDonald's and go to throw away all of it. I chuckle and say "I'll do the dishes tonight." Spencer laughs at my implied joke as I put everything in the trash and turn to wash my hands in the sink on the island. I didn't notice Spencer get up from the barstool at the island until I feel his arms wrap around my waist from behind. He starts to trail light kisses down my neck and I gasp out in surprise. I grip on to Spencer's hands with my own and moan in content at the affection. Spencer quickly whips me around and lifts me up to sit on the counter. I squeal in excitement as Spencer chuckles before he captures my lips with his. After a moment I pull away and place one hand on his cheek and the other on his neck, lightly stroking my thumbs along the heated skin. I ask him "are you sure you want to do this? You've been pretty vulnerable today and I don't want you to regret this later." Spencer smiles warmly and nods, pushing a hair behind my ear, "I'm okay, thank you for caring about my well being." I chuckle lightly "Spence, that's the bare minimum." He chuckles and nods "like you said before, the bar is on the ground and on fire." I laugh and nod as I lean in to continue our kiss. The kiss quickly gets heated as I moan into his mouth and tug lightly on his hair. He groans in response to my tugging and I remove my hands to reach for the hem of my shirt. Once Spencer has realized where my hands have gone he makes light work of removing my shirt. I had never put on a bra due to the fact that we stayed home all day. Spencer continues the kiss after removing my shirt and lightly caresses his thumbs over my sensitive buds and I gasp in surprise at the feeling. I reach to remove his t shirt and he quickly follows my hands, removing his t shirt much quicker than I could have. I rake my nails down his back and he groans at the feeling. After another minute of heated kissing, Spencer gently pushes me down to lie back on the island. I quickly comply, Spencer cradling my head on the way down. He trails his hands down my sides and quickly removes my Nike shorts and panties in one go. I quickly move to cover my face, suddenly shy out of nowhere. Spencer chuckles and gently leans up to remove my hands from my face "Annie, please don't hide from me. I've seen every inch of your body many times. And I love it more and more each time." He lightly trails his lips in kisses down my body towards my core. My breathing picks up in response and Spencer smiles "good girl," as he gently leans down to inch his face closer and closer to my heat. Spencer lightly trails a finger down my folds and says "always so ready for me." I giggle "yes sir." He chuckles and begins to lightly rub my clit with one finger making me jump in surprise at the stimulation. He chuckles again "always so responsive, too." I smile shyly as he takes tongue to my folds. I gasp in surprise at the feeling and grab fistfuls of Spencer's hair. He quickly picks up the pace with his tongue and his fingers. I'm breathing heavily and letting out loud moans at the sensations. Spencer switches after a few minutes, his mouth now sucking on my sensitive clit and his fingers pumping in and out of my heat, hitting my g spot with every thrust. My legs are shaking over his shoulders and I moan out "Spencer, don't stop, please, I'm so close." Spencer only says "not yet." I groan in frustration as he doesn't give me permission and also doesn't let up on his actions. I try my best to hold back for as long as possible, turning to putty in Spencer's grasp. I ask out of breath "please, Spence let me cum." He doesn't answer right away, just holds eye contact with me as I plead with him with my eyes. I feel tears brimming mine as he says "cum" and I unravel at the feeling of vibrations from his voice on my clit. Spencer doesn't slow down, if anything he picks up the pace as I ride out my orgasm, pulling on his hair even harder. He groans in response, making my whole body shiver at the sensation. He gently pulls away and lightly pulls me up so he can check my eyes and facial expression for any signs of discomfort. He looks at me and softly asks "are you okay?" I giggle and nod "yes, Spencer, I'm okay. We've done rougher stuff than that before." He chuckles "I know, but we haven't been as active sexually recently and I wanted to make sure it wasn't a shock to your system or anything." I chuckle and say "Spence, I was a virgin until I was 25, a couple weeks of not screwing like bunnies won't mess with me." He chuckles and says "okay fair point. You want to be done or want to keep going?" I cock an eyebrow and bite my lip "what did you have in mind?" He gives me a sly smile "I'll take that as keep going. Lie down, princess." I comply with his request and gently lie back down on the cold granite countertop. Spencer tugs his pajama pants and boxers down, his erection springing free from the restraints. He asks me as he gently rubs my hip "condom?" I shake my head "no Spence, go ahead." He smiles and says "whatever you want, princess." He positions my legs so my calves rest on his shoulders and he takes my hands in his before lightly pushing in to me. I moan in pleasure at the feeling I had honestly grown to miss over the short dry spell, if you can even call it that. After a few gentle thrusts he picks up the pace and tightens his grip on my hands. I can't move my hands as he pounds into me which adds to the sensations. Spencer groans in pleasure as I squeeze my muscles around him "such a good girl for me. You feel so good wrapped around my dick." I moan out at his words and I feel Spencer start to twitch inside of me, holding back until I come first. He releases my left hand and rubs harsh fast figure eights with his right hand on my clit, never slowing down his thrusts in the process. I scream out in surprise and pleasure at the sensation. I cry out "please can I cum?" Spencer groans and says "Cum for me baby." I cry out in pleasure as I feel my body convulse and grip him even harder inside of me. Spencer cries out in pleasure as I feel him release inside of me. After we both catch our breath, he lets out a sigh of relief and pulls out of me before grabbing a clean dish towel out of a drawer and running it under warm water. He gently cleans me up as I feel our combined release slowly dripping out of me. After he cleans me up with a gentle velvet touch, he helps me sit up slowly and kisses me lightly. I kiss him back with the same soft movements and lock my arms around his neck. When we pull away Spencer asks "how about we take a shower? Hmm?" I nod and say "shower, then the next Harry Potter movie." Spencer chuckles and says "sounds like a good plan, Annie." I peck him on the lips quickly before hopping off the counter and walking back to the en suite bathroom, still fully naked. No sense in putting my clothes back on just to walk down the hall in my own otherwise empty apartment right?

•••••

Once we get back in bed after our shower - and round 2 - and we've finished the next Harry Potter movie I ask Spencer "so we need to pack nice clothes to go out and explore in Vegas. How do you feel about ugly Christmas sweaters and matching Christmas pajamas?" He laughs in response "that's your idea of nice clothes for Vegas?" I cackle and cover my face "no, Spence, sorry. I was just making a mental inventory of what to buy and pack. We should get ugly Christmas sweaters and Christmas pajamas for when we go to my family's." He chuckles and nods "that definitely makes more sense." We sit in silence for a bit before Spencer starts laughing quietly out of nowhere. I turn to him and ask "what are you laughing about?" He shakes his head and laughs a bit harder before saying "we spent almost the entire day in bed and the only time we both get out of bed all day, we have sex on the kitchen island." I start chuckling, too, before saying "doing it in the kitchen is definitely one way to spice it up." He laughs and says "and you think I'm cheesy?" I laugh harder "you just made another kitchen sex pun!" We both start laughing so hard together that tears form in our eyes and I clutch my side in pain from laughing so hard. Once we finally calm down the giggling I look at Spencer in pure adoration "I love you so much." He chuckles "I love you, too, Annie. Good to know a couple of dirty kitchen puns can make you laugh so hard." I giggle again and say "you act like it's hard to make me laugh when all you have to do is say something with a funny accent and then I can't breathe because I'm laughing so hard five seconds later." Spencer laughs as he pushes my hair out of my face and leans down to gently kiss me. I kiss him back harder and climb on top of him. Spencer gives me a sly grin when I pull away from him "again?" I bite my lip and nod as I remove my t shirt and throw it somewhere in the room. I'm left only in my panties now as I start to grind my clothed heat on Spencer's hardening dick still sheathed by clothes. Spencer groans as I hold onto his chest for balance and move my hips against him at a fast pace. Spencer grabs my hips and starts to move me against him faster while also moving his hips in sync with mine. I'm panting at the overwhelmingly pleasurable sensations and say "if we aren't careful we will both finish in our underwear." Spencer groans and nods. I gently lift my hips off of him and tug down his pajama pants and under wear just enough to release him. I bite my lip at the sight and Spencer shudders at the feeling of me touching him. I pull my panties to the side and line up his tip with my entrance and slowly start to sink down. Spencer's eyes roll into the back of his head as I whimper in pleasure at the feeling. I slowly start to lift my hips up and down on his dick. Once I'm used to the sensation again, Spencer grips my hips and helps me move them up and down faster while also thrusting his hips into me, hitting my g spot with every thrust. I cry out in ecstasy, gripping his chest as I try to move impossibly faster. I let out a pornographic moan as Spencer moves one hand to rub circles on my clit and Spencer says "come on, princess, come for me." I nod and feel my body convulse and give in to the sensations for the fourth time tonight. Spencer works me through my orgasm, following me over the edge. He groans in ecstasy and I feel him fill me up with his warm release. I collapse on top of him, both of us sweaty and panting. I lean up and kiss him on the lips "I think we are making up for slacking these past few weeks." He chuckles and attaches his lips to mine again. We stay in that position for a while, Spencer lightly tracing shapes and words on my back. After a while I start guessing "it's a smiley face." Spencer chuckles and nods. It becomes a game of me seeing if I can guess what he's drawing on my back with his finger tips. Eventually he writes out "I love you" and I look up at him in response and say "I love you, too, Spencer Reid." Spencer chuckles and kisses me gently on the lips. He then says "I hate to be the bearer of bad news but we should probably get ready for bed and you need to pee so you don't get a UTI." I groan in response and don't move or say anything. Spencer tells me I really need to get up after a few minutes of not moving and he smacks my ass, making me contract around him. He moans in surprise "okay you really need to get up before we go for round 4." I bite my lip and look at him "what if I want to go for round 4, Dr. Reid?" Spencer shakes his head and says "don't tempt me, Annie, we need to go to bed. It's 2 am and we both have work in the morning." I groan at the realization and roll off of him. Spencer gets up and I readjust my underwear before getting up to go pee. Spencer looks at me and tells me to lie back down "let me clean you up, baby." I smile softly and nod as I lie back down on the bed and let my boyfriend take care of me. After he's satisfied with his work I get up to go pee and put on a new pair of panties as well as find where I threw my shirt. I crawl back into bed and into Spencer's arms and hum in content. I tell Spencer "I really hope my IUD is as effective as it says it is bc it's fighting against a lot of your genius sperm right now." Spencer chuckles and says "well I guess if it's meant to be it will be." I nod and say "life will find a way." Spencer cackles "you did not just quote 'Jurassic Park' to me!" I laugh and say "of course I did it's one of my favorite franchises!" Spencer laughs harder "we've been together for, what, like, 9 months? and I'm just now finding out you love a movie franchise that is incredibly scientifically inaccurate!" I chuckle and say "I don't watch it for the scientific accuracy. I like the actors and I think dinosaurs are cool." Spencer scoffs "you watch them to stare at Chris Pratt's ass." I chuckle "only when I can't stare at yours, my sweet genius." Spencer blushes and laughs again. I smile at him and say "let's turn out the light and get some sleep before we both have to work in the morning, hmm?" He nods and punctuates his statement with a yawn before turning out the bedside light and snuggling back into our embrace.