Chapter 17: First Time*

We make our way back to my apartment from Rossi's. On the drive home I'm happily reminiscing over the night. Everybody was so kind and they were all so much fun; they didn't make me feel like an outsider to a clique or secret club even though the FBI is literally a secret club. I especially loved seeing Spence with Jack and Henry. I had never seen him with an actual baby before today but watching him expertly hold Henry like a pro made my heart flutter. Believe me I don't want kids any time soon, but I can still enjoy watching him talk to and play with the kids of his coworkers. Spencer squeezes my hand as he notices I've spaced out a bit and says "you okay? You've been a little quiet." I smile sweetly, squeezing his hand back, and respond "I'm just thinking about how much fun I had tonight." He returns the smile and I continue saying "I also didn't know before tonight how good you are with kids of all ages." He chuckles and says "well to be fair, I had a similar revelation about you. Seeing you handle Henry at an expert level not only impressed me but it also impressed JJ and the rest of the team." I smile to myself with pride at his comment. I say "yeah Morgan made a comment to me about how you and I should talk about them. I know we kinda did on the patio, but I want to be sure we are on the same page." He glances at me before returning his eyes to the road and says carefully "okay, what exactly are you thinking about it?" I chuckle and say "Spence, I want kids one day but not any time soon." He laughs lightly and says "yes, I'm on the same page. I want you all to myself for a while," and squeezes my hand. We make it back to my apartment complex and make our way up the stairs to my apartment in a comfortable silence, hand in hand. I unlock the apartment and quietly walk in, putting my purse and keys on the table by the door. I walk over to Spencer and put my arms around his neck, leaning up to give him light kisses. I say "thank you for bringing me tonight. I really did have a great time." He kisses me back saying "thank you for coming with me. It was the best team dinner for me in a while." We stand swaying in each others embrace for a bit before I lean back to look him in the eye and say "Spence?" He hums his response before I say "I think I'm ready." He gives me a quizzical look in response before saying "ready for...?" I smile and say "I, Anneliese Winters, am ready to have sex with you, Spencer Reid, for the first time." He stutters briefly and circles his thumbs gently on my hips and says "are you sure about this? I don't want you to feel pressured or obligated to do this." I smile softly at him, saying "watching you with Henry and Jack tonight just took my love for you a step further. Also, the way you check in with me mentally and emotionally like you just did also furthers my love for you every time. I don't think I've ever been more sure about anything in my life. I love you, Spencer. I know you will take care of me." He smiles softly and says "you know to use your words with me and you know you can stop me at any time and I won't be upset or disappointed or anything," as he gently caresses my cheek with his thumb. I look him in the eyes and say "yes, I know." I take him by the hand and lead him back to my room. Ryder is asleep in his crate due to the late hour and merely looks at me before going back to sleep in his crate even after I open the door to it. I stand back up and turn around to Spence. He kisses me before trailing his hands under my sweater and lightly gripping the hem. He pulls back and says "is this alright?" I nod my head and say "yes, it's alright." He pulls the sweater up and over my head and I start to work on the buttons of his button up while he slowly walks us over to my bed. I get the final button undone on his shirt and push it off of his shoulders. He gently pushes me to lay down on the bed and I sit back and marvel at his shirtless body for a second. He leans down and kisses me, softly caressing my sides. He trails his hand down my legs go my shoes, unzipping and removing each one and tossing them to the side. He moves his hands back up my body, intentionally missing where I want him most, before dancing his hands around the waistband of my jeans. He looks up to me for my permission and I nod my head in response. He undoes the button and the zipper trailing his hands to the side of the waist band, lightly tugging my jeans down. I lift my hips off the bed to help him pull them down. He quickly kicks his shoes and socks off and leaves his pants in the puddle of fabric growing at the floor by the foot of the bed. I gently move back on the bed so my head is on the pillows. Spencer climbs over me in only his boxers and I feel my heart rate start to pick up in anticipation and anxiety. He leans down, kissing me gingerly and lightly trails his hands to my sides. I arch my back so he can unhook my bra which he swiftly does so, removing it and tossing it to the end of the bed. I moan lightly as he takes a hand to my left nipple, gently tugging and pulling on it. After a minute he switches his hand to my right nipple and takes my left nipple into his mouth, sucking lightly. My breathing picks up a bit more and I let out small satisfied moans. He pulls back and says "I honestly wonder if one day I can make you cum just by doing this. However, I will save that for another day. You still doing okay, sweetheart?" I smile and nod and say "I'm doing okay, Spence." He smiles and starts to kiss down my stomach, causing my stomach muscles to tense under his gentle touch. He trails his hands and mouth down to my aching core and lightly rubs his hands over my clothed heat. My breath hitches in my throat. He notices, chuckling, and says "I need you to relax. You will enjoy this so much more if you calm down your breathing a bit and let your body enjoy itself." I nod my head and take a deep breath, trying to calm myself down. He smiles at my efforts and says "good girl." I smile in response before I feel him trail his hands over my underwear again. He continues the same action and I can feel the wet spot in my underwear growing at the same time. The next thing he does is unexpected by me. He lightly pulls the front of my underwear up so the crotch of my panties lightly tugs against my heat and clit as he lightly moves it up and down. He only does this briefly before pulling the underwear down my legs and off my body, leaving me totally bare to him. He smiles, taking in the sight of my body, caressing my hips lightly with his thumbs and says "you are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen," before trailing kisses back down to my heat. He hooks his arms around my legs, pulling them even further apart, my entire body on display for him. He softly says "so beautiful," before taking his tongue, licking a slow stripe up my folds and to my clit. I throw my head back on to the pillows and moan out in pleasure. Spencer takes my actions as encouragement before picking up the pace with his tongue. He takes his thumb, rubbing slow circles on my clit, the pace almost torturous. I beg him "Spencer, please go faster," he makes eye contact with me, keeping the same pace. After a minute he switches his mouth to my clit and takes a finger, lightly pushing it in and out of my throbbing heat. After my body puts up little resistance to his actions he adds another finger, scissoring his fingers apart, stretching me out. He adds a third finger, the first time he's ever done that, after my body is used to the second finger, stretching me out even more. He picks up his pace with his mouth and fingers and I feel my orgasm fast approaching. I try to hold off so it will last longer, but my body betrays me as it succumbs to Spencer's actions. I feel the tension building within me snap as I orgasm intensely around his fingers. Spencer doesn't stop until he's sure he's worked me through my orgasm, my legs shaking lightly. He leaves a light kiss on my clit, making me jolt from the sensation. He smiles and says "you did such a good job, baby. Are you sure you want to continue? There's no pressure if you want to stop here." I smile and say "I am sure Spence." He leans up and gently kisses me before reiterating "if you change your mind you can always stop me." I nod my head as he stands up and removes his boxers, his hard dick immediately hitting his stomach. I lean up a bit and look at him as he slowly starts to make his way back over to me and say "I know I am on birth control, but would you mind wearing a condom?" I immediately feel bad for asking and start to ramble saying "I just really don't want to get pregnant right now and I want to be able to enjoy this without the thought eating away at me, I'm sorry." He smiles softly at me and nods before saying "you have nothing to be sorry for, sweetheart. If it makes you feel more comfortable then I'm more than happy to wear one." I lean over to my night stand, opening the top drawer and he walks over to it, picking the box out of the drawer. He looks at me with a smirk and says "when did you buy these, Annie?" I smile sheepishly and say "I bought these after getting recommendations from Killian and Alison. And after seeing how um...how big you are. I um also bought lube after seeing that, too." He chuckles lightly, grabbing a condom from the box and the lube from the drawer. He says "The point of our last activity was to try to ensure we wouldn't need the lube and that you'd be relaxed, do you still want to use it?" I bite my lip and nod before asking "is that okay?" He chuckles and says "yes, baby, of course it's okay." I watch him put the condom on his hard length and add some lube on top of that before looking at me and saying "is that good?" I bite my lip and nod. I have no idea what is normal or abnormal. He chuckles, crawling to hover above me and says "don't get shy on me, now, Annie." He pushes some hair out of my face and says "this is probably going to feel very uncomfortable at first, it will probably hurt. If it gets to be too much, you can stop me or tell me to slow down. You ready?" I bite my lip and nod, saying "I'm ready, Spence, I trust you." He nods, kissing me deeply, before lining up at my entrance and slowly starting to push inside of me. I gasp at the feeling. He's stretching me further than I ever could've imagined, I'm so thankful I had him use the lube. After he's about half way in he says "you still doing okay?" I shakily nod, unable to speak. He slowly continues to push in before his hips are flush with mine, he groans at the feeling. He stops his movement, lightly kissing me and rubbing my side before saying "you okay, baby?" I shakily nod and say "you can move, now." He nods before slowly starting to thrust in and out of me. The pain slowly starts to dissipate and pleasure begins to take its place. I moan at the newfound pleasure and say "Spencer, please go faster." He nods and picks up the pace before gritting his teeth as he says "God, Annie, you're so tight." I start to moan out loudly in pleasure as my body starts to happily accept the movement. I wrap my legs around Spencer's waist and feel him hit me even deeper than he did before and I feel myself clench around him in response. He gasps and says "please do that again, God you feel so good, baby. So good wrapped around my cock." I clench around him again and moan out at the feeling and at his words. Spencer trails his hand down to my clit rubbing it at a fast pace and I gasp as I feel my orgasm building within me. My body starts to shake at the sensations Spencer is giving me and he says "you going to cum, Annie? Cum on my cock like a good girl." I nod as his words send me over the edge, crying out loudly in pleasure "yes, oh my god, Spencer, fuck." I feel my body clench around him as I have the most intense orgasm of my life. His thrusts start to become sloppy as he quickly follows me over the edge, I feel the warmth within me of him filling up the condom inside of me. He slowly pulls out of me and I wince at the feeling before looking down and seeing some of my blood on the condom. Spencer follows my gaze and immediately goes to comfort me saying "bleeding a little during your first time is perfectly normal, baby. It's not anything to worry about? You feel okay?" I smile lightly and say "yes, Spence I feel great. Just a little sore." He leans down from the side of the bed, kissing me and says "I'll be right back, I'm going to fill up the bathtub and get something to clean you up, okay?" I nod as I watch his perfect ass walk away into my bathroom. I hear the bathtub running and shortly after Spencer comes out with a warm wet wash cloth and gently cleans me up. I wince a bit at the sensitivity, hoping he didn't see, but he notices saying "I'm sorry, baby." He tosses the wash cloth in the hamper and I say "Spence, I wouldn't want to do this with anybody else. It was going to be a bit uncomfortable the first time no matter what, so I'm glad it was with you." He smiles and goes to pick me up, he takes me to the bathroom, setting me on the toilet and leaves to get us some water. I think he really just leaves to give me privacy, which I greatly appreciate. After I pee, Spencer comes back in to help me into the bathtub. He helps me over to the bathtub, stabilizing me as I get in. He gets in behind me so I'm resting between his legs, my head resting on his left shoulder. He gently rubs my arms and shoulders saying "how are you feeling now, baby?" I chuckle lightly and say "I feel even better now, sitting here with you." He smiles and kisses my temple before saying "I'm glad you're happy. I was afraid you wouldn't enjoy it or you would regret your decision." I turn to look at him and say "why would you think that?" He looks down and says "I was afraid it wouldn't be what you thought it would be like after anticipating this for years, or the pain would be a lot worse than you anticipated, or you would regret choosing me." I gently caress his cheek and say "Spencer, there is nobody else I would want to share this intimate moment with. Also, did you not hear the orgasms I had in there? It was a bit painful at first, yes, but both of those orgasms? You did that. That was all you." He smiles sheepishly and looks down before saying "I did do that." I laugh at his response and say "I love you, Spencer, and I can't imagine my first time going any better than it just did in there." He smiles at me and says "I love you, too, Annie," before kissing me. I turn back around and lean against him, enjoying the moment of intimacy with my boyfriend. He rubs my body comfortingly as we sit in the water together in a comfortable silence. I start to feel my eyes flutter closed like I'm going to fall asleep. Spencer realizes how tired I am and quickly gets us out of the bathtub. He gets out first, wrapping a towel around his waist after drying himself off and then he helps me out and wraps a towel around my body. He helps me back into the bedroom and gives me a t shirt of his to wear to sleep and some fresh panties. He puts the shirt on me and I put the panties on myself. He pulls on boxers and a pair of pajama pants and we climb into bed together, both quickly drifting off in our comfortable embrace.

•••••

Spencer gets called in on a case the next afternoon and I think he's afraid I will be more clingy and emotional now that we have had sex. I kiss him and tell him I will be fine and that he doesn't have to worry about me. He looks hesitant to leave even after my reassurance. I smile softly and say "Spence, I am okay and I will be okay until you get back. The people you are meant to help save right now won't, though, so you have to go, Superman. I love you, be safe, text me and keep me updated when you can!" He kisses me goodbye before running out the door with his go bag. After Spencer leaves I go to do the mundane tasks I've been slacking on since I started dating him. I make a list to do the laundry, clean the apartment, and set a grocery pickup order for later. I start the laundry and take Ryder for a walk, I feel guilty for somewhat neglecting him since Spencer came into my life. He still lives in the lap of luxury but I don't give him as much attention as I used to now that Spencer has become a main focus of mine. I call Alison and Killian while on the walk to see if they want to come over for dinner and movies. Alison says her husband will be busy watching football all day and Killian says she didn't have any plans today anyway since her plans got canceled abruptly by whatever tinder hookup she had set up. Well, she didn't call him a tinder hookup, but she rarely has dates or meetings with guys that aren't random tinder hookups. I quickly whip up a lasagna for dinner after picking up my grocery pick up and throw some frozen garlic bread in the oven. The girls come over on time, ready to eat. We all have to work tomorrow so we don't drink any wine tonight. We sit sipping Diet Coke after dinner and eating ice cream before Killian squints at me and says "something is different about you." I still in my seat and look at her confused "what do you mean?" She looks at me and says "you seem off, but I can't tell if it's a good way or bad way." I don't feel like talking about sex with Spencer right now, but Killian is persistent. Killian stands and says "fine, if you won't tell me, let's go see what your room has to tell us." She gives me an excited expression which I return with wide eyes and a scared expression. She sees my expression and runs to my room. She looks around, thankfully I've picked up the puddle of fabric that was at the foot of my bed and it's in the laundry now. She walks around for a minute, checking the sheets, but they have also been changed for clean sheets and the old ones have been thrown in the washer. She walks over to my night stand, opening the drawer and turns to me with a knowing smile saying "so dear sweet innocent little Annie now has condoms in her nightstand AND a bottle of lube?" I look at her and say "come on Killian that doesn't mean anything. I bought that stuff a while ago after Spencer and I started fooling around." She smiles at me and says "then why are there...11 condoms and not 12 like the box advertises?" I feel my face turn red, but I still don't admit anything and opt for silence. Alison is standing in the doorway enjoying the tennis match in front of her, not getting involved. Killian puts everything back into the drawer and then goes into my bathroom. I think I've made it through the interrogation before she leans her head out the door frame and sweetly calls for Alison. I follow Alison into the bathroom and realize I didn't carry the trash out of the bathroom in my list of chores from today, the evidence of last night and the missing condom are both discovered. Alison looks at me and says "you have to admit it, she could probably work for the FBI, too, with those detective skills of hers." My face turns red and Killian says "girl, were you not going to tell us you started having sex? We have been INVESTED in this since you started dating the praying mantis!" I look down and say "it just happened last night and I kinda wanted to take some time to just have privacy with Spence and only the two of us know about it for a while." Killian comes over and hugs me and says "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have pushed you. It is a very personal thing. How are you feeling about it?" We all three move together from my bathroom to my bed and they sit with me as I tell them it was a great experience and I love Spencer and I wouldn't have wanted any other way. Alison looks at me and says "I sense a 'but' coming on." I give a small tight lipped smile and say "I feel like I just can't help but mourn the loss of my virginity. I know it's a social construct and doesn't really mean anything, but when I was growing up purity culture was shoved down my throat. I still don't regret doing it with Spence despite all of that." Alison nods in understanding and says "it's okay to have big feelings about it. Even if the big feelings are good and bad combined. Have you talked to Spencer about it?" I shake my head and say "I didn't really feel like this until after he left. I think he anticipated this because he really didn't want to leave, but I told him I would be fine. I know he didn't like sleep with me and leave like a one night stand, it's his job and I can't have him stay longer just because I'm emotional and probably hormonal. I'm also afraid he won't want to have sex again if I'm emotional after it." Killian looks at me and says "Spencer is a genius, he probably knows about some kind of hormone increase or decrease that causes you to feel like this. He won't think you're clingy or overly emotional. He just knows you have feelings and wants to help. And believe me, he won't let it stop y'all from having sex if you are giving consent." I laugh lightly at that and say "I guess I just wanted to have y'all over to distract me from the feelings. I've been keeping myself busy all day so I won't think about Spencer being gone and the feelings from everything last night. It's easier not to think about things when I'm busy." Alison nods and says "well, babe, talk to him about it when he gets the chance or wait until he gets back. It's up to you, but you should definitely talk to him about it." I nod and say "you're probably right. I may wait until he gets back so he's not worried about me during the case." Alison looks at me and says "if we know Spencer, he already knows something is up with you."

~Spencer's POV~

We are in the hotel after working the case all evening. Hotch hands out hotel room assignments, I'm with Morgan, as per usual, and we make our way up to our hotel room. As we stand on the elevator Morgan says to me "you've seemed off, today. Everything okay?" I nod and rub my eyes forcefully and don't give a verbal response. Morgan says "okay now I know there's something going on, kid. Is it the case or is it Annie?" I don't say anything, yet Morgan can tell from my silence that it is about Annie. He looks at me and says "Did you guys have a fight? You'll feel better if you just talk about it." I sigh with reluctance and say "we had sex for the first time last night." Morgan cocks an eyebrow and says "and it wasn't good?" I shake my head and say "no, it was great. I mean considering it was her first time and all. As far as I could tell we both really enjoyed it after we got past the initial pain of it all for her. I just get the feeling that she has some feelings she's repressing about it. She seemed off but mostly fine afterwards and today before I left." Morgan nods as the elevator opens. Once we see the hallways is clear he says "she is probably just processing things. The first time is a lot, especially for girls, and it's probably taking her a bit longer to process because she put so much stock in it which is why she waited. Honestly you should feel honored she trusted you with something so important and special to her." I nod and say "I just don't understand why she isn't talking to me about it." Morgan shrugs as he opens the hotel room door and says "there are a lot of reasons she may not be talking about it yet. It might not have really hit her yet or maybe she wants to talk to her girl friends about it to see if they felt similarly. She may have realized it after you left and wants to talk to you about it in person and not distract you while you're on a case. I wouldn't sweat it for right now, you guys have a solid foundation and communicate well. I mean you have to with weaponized anthrax and gunshot wounds in play." I chuckle at that as I sit on the bed I'm claiming for myself and put my go bag down next to me. I look at Morgan and say "I guess you're right. Should I give her a call? It's not too late and we are in the same time zone which is a rare occurrence." Morgan nods and says "she would probably like to know that you're thinking about her, but I wouldn't press the issue on the phone. If she wants to she will bring it up or she may wait on purpose because you're on a case even though she wants to talk about it now. Just be chill and let her talk to you." I nod and leave the room, making my way to call her privately. She picks up on the third ring and says "hey, Spence. You in your hotel for the night?" I smile at the sound of her voice and respond "hey, yeah I just got to the room with Morgan." She hums in response before saying "sounds like fun, Killian and Alison are here for dinner and movies since our respective guys are otherwise engaged today." I laugh at that and say "what did you make?" She giggles and says "lasagna. I'll save you some if you finish the case quickly!" I chuckle and say "as if I didn't need more motivation to wrap up a case. Listen, um, I just wanted to make sure you're okay after last night. I hate that I had to leave abruptly because that wasn't my plan after...doing...that." I hear her chuckle lightly on the phone as she says "I'm doing fine. I talked out some girl stuff with the girls and I feel better about everything that was concerning me. I think it was just like a girly emotional thing, nothing for you to worry about, babe." I sigh gently and say "but I do worry about you, Annie. That's something I should be there to help you with. Were you just having mixed feelings about yo-your virginity or was it something I did or..?" I swear I can hear her smile as she says "thank you Spence. I understand you want to be here for me and I want that, too. That can wait until after the case. They need your full attention now and I'll get your full attention later. I'm okay and I'll be eagerly anticipating your return. Please come back to me in one piece and unscathed. I love you." I smile and say "okay I'll let you win this one. I love you, too. Sweet dreams and I'll talk to you tomorrow morning, okay?" She softly says "yes we will talk in the morning, sweet dreams to you, too, Spence," and we hang up for the night. I decide to pull my focus to the case so I can get home to her faster and make sure she's really okay and not just telling me she's okay so I will leave her alone.