Chapter 24

'So he's in LA now. Ye?' Alex asked.

'Yeah.' I answered with a sigh.

'And he didnt even tell you he's going there?'

'Yes. Well... he's supposed to go here. He told me we'll spend the week off here in London, but at the last minute, he cancelled his flight and went to LA.' I explained.

'And he still havent texted or even called you?'

I paused,

'Yes.'

'He just clearly ditched you Nikki. I want to slap him now. How could he! He was all romantic announcing to the world how much he loves you and the next thing you'll know he's ditching you. I mean, no boyfriend would do that!' She said, obviously pissed.

'Maybe there's a reason why... before that, the VP of Modest Management flew to Japan to personally talk to him. I think that could be the reason.' I defended Harry. I will always find a reason to defend him, even if I ran out of one, I'd still defend him. Im sure there's a reason...

Im sure.

'Possibly. But he should atleast inform you if he's going to LA or anywhere in the world. He should tell you the reason why so you guys could talk about it. Has he forgotten that you're his girlfriend... Im just saying.'

'Maybe he just wanted to relax a bit.' I told her.

She rolled her eyes and said,

'I dont know, Nikki. That... right there is a red flag. He's obviously showing his womanizing traits now. And we're all aware that he's got that trait in him.'

No. Maybe before... but not now. I know. I trust him. He always tells me to not doubt his feelings for me. So I definitely know that there's another reason.

'Anyways, I have to go meet my mates for our bloody paper. Or if you want... I can cancel if you want someone to talk to? It's a saturday today, we can reschedule it tomorrow with my mates...'

'No, it's fine. Go on. I need some time for myself now anyway.' I told her.

'Alright. We'll talk later. Rest for now. Dont stress yourself.'

'Okay. Thanks. Take care, Alex.' I told her as I locked up the cafe.

The moment I had the time for myself, I immediately checked on my phone and went to Google and searched Harry's name. I cant believe Im depending on Google now just to know where he is. I saw several articles titled,

Harry Styles in LA!

Harry Styles just landed in LA. Was he flying solo?

No Nikki? Harry Styles arrived in LA without his new lady love could he be single again?

I didnt open any article, I know it will just ruin my day. But I clicked on a video of him arriving in LA. He's by himself, no Liv, no body guards from the management; just him, accompanied by the airport staff, I think. He was wearing his fedora hat and shades and is clearly not on the mood to take selfies with fans.

What is up Harry?

What is happening?

I couldnt help myself, I texted him,

Me:

Harry, what is happening? Why are you in LA??

Me:

Hey, Please... tell me.

Me:

If u dont want to talk, okay then. Just talk to me when u want to. I'll be waiting.

******************************

Three days has passed. And within those three days, I did nothing but think what Harry could be doing. I didnt want to ask Lou, Liv, Niall, Liam or any of the boys because it would really look like Im desperate and they would think that whats happening is serious. I didnt want them to worry.

We can fix this. Whatever it is.

Only Damian and Alex knew that Harry isnt returning my calls and texts for the past three days. It was nice to talk to Damian again after his cold treatment last time. He knew that I needed someone to confide to so he told me that he's not gonna leave my side until he's sure that im fine. Im really grateful that I have a friend like him.

Alex has told me that Taylor Swift is also currently in LA from the entertainmemt news programs she watched.

Now Im really bothered.

Not that I have a bad opinion on Taylor, I know she's a good person but she and Harry have a past. History that is buried deeply within Harry's heart.

'What is happening. I dont understand.' I said, while me and Damian were taking a break at The Nest.

'Those kinds of guys... you know... are the dangerous ones.' He stated.

...'But, Nikki... I say, let him explain first when you both had the chance to talk... Hey, dont think too much. Concentrate on something else. Like, washing the dishes, cleaning the tables or my handsomeness.' He joked.

'Ha ha. Damian.' I rolled my eyes at him.

He chuckled and said,

'Seriously, dont stress. Im here... we're here, for you.'

'Thanks Damian. Really, I appreciate you both.'

'No worries. Now let's get back to work!'

******************************

'Nic! Nic!' Alex barged on to my door... friday morning and continued,

'Look at this!' She handed me her phone and said,

'I knew it! I swear Im going to kick his arse!'.

My heart stopped with what I have read,

Harry Styles and Taylor Swift reunited! Spotted being cozy in LA just weeks after Harry announced his relationship with Nikki Garcia. Uh-oh...

Then I saw snaps of them together in Harry's car, hugging.

This is insane.

Is this real?

No he didnt.

Yes he did.

How could he?

Why??

What have I done wrong??

I feel like Im going to cry.

No, this isnt real. I need to hear the truth from Harry himself.

'Nic, I know this is hard for you. But just so you know... we are here for you okay? Maybe that is true, maybe not... who knows... but... Im here to slap Harry's face if that is really true.' Alex told me while she was hugging me.

'Thanks Alex, I still want to hear the truth from Harry himself.'

'Thats right. You guys really need to talk. And for the record, what he's doing now... not returning your texts and calls is completely wrong.'

'I know.' I sighed.

Buzz buzz...

Lou Teasdale:

Hi Nikki, have u packed ur bags? Im just reminding u of our flight to Copenhagen, Denmark on sunday. We'll be off again. See ya! :)

Me:

Hey. I was just going to pack. Yep, see you!

Anyways, has Harry texted you already?

Lou Teasdale:

No... Ohmy. He hasnt contacted you yet?

Me:

Yeah. And I saw that he's in LA with Taylor.

Lou Teasdale:

What?? Where did you see it?

Me:

In an article on the net. I saw pictures.

Lou Teasdale:

Dont believe everything thats written on papers or the net. Let him explain his side when you see him. If he still hasnt shown up here in London, he'll definitely show up in Copenhagen. They have a concert so he'll be there for sure.

Me:

Alright. Thanks Lou.

Lou Teasdale:

Sure! .x

******************************Copenhagen, Denmark

Lou opened the door of our hotel suite while I was watching the television.

We just arrived here from London and still... no calls, no texts from Harry. I just knew that he will arrive today because Niall told me.

'Harry has arrived. He's checked in at room 743. Presidential Suite. You should go talk to him now, Nikki.'

'Question is, does he wanna talk to me?' I answered.

'Nikkiiiii.... of course. Come on. You guys should talk. Besides, you'll be styling him again after two days so there's really no choice but to talk to him.'

'I would really wanna talk to him now. Im worried. I dont know what he's going through... but I dont think he would wanna... I dont want to force myself on him...---'

'Nikki, it's best to talk to him now so you would know whats bothering him. Im sure you could help.'

I let out a huge sigh and agreed with Lou. She has a point. We need to talk.

I wore my sweater and leggings, washed my face, combed my hair with my hands and grabbed some hotel slippers to slip on.

While I was walking to his hotel suite, I cant help myself but to feel nervous. Too many questions running through my head and I know I wouldnt get the answers if I didnt talk to him now so I pressed the door bell... waited a bit, and when he opened his door, there he was. Looking exhausted. He gestured me to come in and I did.

Wow. Something has really changed in him. He's not cheery around me anymore. A day of not seeing each other he would immediately text me that he misses me or he will be outside The Nest waiting for me to come out and grab some take outs but... it has been a week... it's just now that we saw each other again... and he's cold.

Terrifyingly cold.

I heard him close the door and I turned around to face him...

He grabbed a glass of sparkling water and sat down to watch the television.

Oh.. okay. Hello, Harry. Im here.

It's like he doesnt even see me so I took the remote control and turned the television off.

He then stood up, and when he was about to go to the bathroom, I blocked him with a hug.

He stood still; not returning my hug. I looked up at him and he was looking at me but then his watery eyes turned away from me and he said,

'Dont do that.' He breathed.

'Do what?' I pulled away from him and looked at him.

He walked to the side table and grabbed his glass again and drank from it.

'Harry, whats the matter? Im really worried about you...'

As soon as he heard me, he threw his glass on the wall causing it to break, he suddenly sat down on the floor looking like all the energy left his body, rested his back against the side of the bed and slouched. Leaving me shocked.

'What the fuck is wrong with you Harry!' I shouted. I couldnt control myself.

He looked at me, evidently shocked... even I, myself was shocked with what I said... I never say the word fuck ever, even on texts or chats. But my emotions was so bottled up I couldnt control it anymore.

Yes, I was angry.

Im angry at him for ditching me. Im angry that he met up with Taylor in LA.Im angry that he's acting like this now.

But when I saw him with tears in his eyes... I just couldnt help myself but to come to him and comfort him.

'Please... Harry, tell me.' I pressed my right hand against his cheeks wiping away the tears.

'Tell me whats troubling you... it hurts me to see you like that.' I continued.

And then all of a sudden he pulled me close to him and hugged me so tight. He kissed me on my temples and my cheeks, my forehead, my nose and hugged me again like Im a long lost puppy that he has found again. I hugged him back and he finally said,

'Forgive me Nikki, for all the pain I caused you.' His forehead on mine.

'Harry... youre not hurting me. Youre the best thing that happened to me.'

He shook his head. Disagreeing with what I just said.

'Im an asshole.' He breathed.

'Dont say that. Sssh.' I placed my thumb against his lips and he held my hand and kissed it.

'Tell me... Why were you in LA all of a sudden?' I finally asked.

He breathed,

'I was there to think. I felt guilty that I was exposing you to everyone. Youre being bashed at. Hated by the fans. The media scrutinizing you. My management wants to break up with you once the sales didnt do well... i felt so selfish that I didnt think of you and your family's well being just to be around you...'

'Why would you think that? None of that matters to me, Harry.' I held his hand.

...'and Taylor.' He continued. And looked at me.

I stopped. Oh my. No. I dont want to hear this. Their picture in the car flashed back in my mind.

...'I met up with her in LA. I thought...' He hesitated.

'You thought what?'

I was holding his hand but he held mine tighter.

'When I landed in LA, she followed the next day. We met up because she was asking for closure. So we could both move on. I thought I needed that too... I thought I could handle myself around her... but I was wrong. Im sorry, Nikki. Please forgive me.'

'I dont understand.' I told him. No, I think Im getting where he's going but Im just in denial. I know what I'll eventually hear from him but Im hoping I wont.

...'Why are you saying sorry? What did you do?'. I continued. My voice breaking.

He paused, kissed my hands and,

'We got carried away. I... made love... with her in LA.'

My heart dropped.

My tears streamed down my face.

I couldnt speak. I wanted to. I wanted to shout even. I wanted to slap him. But I didnt have the strength to do so.

He wiped my tears from my cheeks and continued,

...' It's heartbreaking to see her hurt but it would shatter me to see you hurt because of me. That's... thats why I couldnt answer your calls... your texts... I couldnt look at you straight because I was ashamed of myself. I was afraid I might loose you if you knew. I was scared, Nikki...' He then hugged me, resting his face on my left shoulder.

Without looking in his eyes, I plainly said;

'You still love her.' It wasnt a question. I knew he still did.

He lifted his head up and said...

'I love you.' He replied.

'And you love her too. Unfortunately.'

'I love you more, Nikki.'

'I... gave you my whole heart. Harry. I cant really be with you if half of your heart isnt mine.'

'I chose you. I love you more, Nikki.'

'I have to go.' I stood up but he grabbed my hand and said,

'Nikki... please...'

'We need to stop this.' I told him... then he finally stood up and he held my shoulders tightly, his eyes started to look at me with desperation.

'What? No! Nikki, Please'. Harry shouted.

And I continued, not being able to look at his eyes anymore I finally said,

'I wanna go back... to before I knew you and all this'.

'NO! No.. no. No! Nikki! Dont do this!.' He shouted as he hugged me from the back tightly; then he slowly knelt down to the ground still not letting go of his grip.

I turned around, trying to pull away from his grip. My tears streaming down my face. I tried not to cry but I cant help it.I unlocked his grip and moved back from him but he pulled me back again and hugged me while I was standing and him kneeling on the floor, sobbing. His face pressed against my stomach. I can feel his tears through my sweater.

This is too painful. If I could just numb the pain but I couldnt. No anesthesia could numb this pain. I just wanna forget all of this. This is too much already. I can handle the hate, the media, his management... but this one... I couldnt. I just cant.

He just literally broke me.

'Harry... please.' My voice breaking.

'No! I love you Nikki! Please!' He sobbed.

He then stood up and both his hands held my face. He pressed me against the wall and placed his forehead into mine, crying.

'Please... forgive me Nikki. I love you... please....'

'I love you too, Harry. But I dont know if I could still be the same person that I was... if I still chose to be with you. This is way beyond painful. You broke me, Harry... We need space.' I held his face too and continued,

...'That way... you could figure out whom your heart belongs to... fully.'

With his tears still falling down, I pulled away from his grip and went out his hotel suite, broken. Shattered. Crushed.