Chapter 4

I can’t contain my happiness. I don’t know what else could make me happier more than this. All my life I’ve been looking for this, to be in love.

Yes, I am in love; finally.

 And what made it more wonderful is that I am in love with Harry. Not because he is THE Harry Styles but because he is Harry Styles. I didn’t ever thought that I would be able to even talk to him; well, yes, given the fact that I am indeed a Directioner of course I would like to meet him and all the other boys in the band but that was just in my wildest dream I kept thinking ‘Naaaah it’s never going to happen’… But here, now is Harry talking, chatting, occasionally flirting with me? And he even told me he liked me? How on earth did that happened? Maybe it’s just a dream?

buzz… buzz

bigbrownbootsUK: Did I take too long?

Nah. This is definitely not a dream. How many times do I have to tell that to myself?

bigbrownbootsUK: have you been waiting for me?

 Kind of? Ofcourse I was waiting for you! But I need to keep it cool. Hmmm…

Nikki_Garcia: No. Kidding! Anyways, Hi, how are you?

bigbrownbootsUK: Good, now. :)

Nikki_Garcia: That’s good to know. Do you have any shows today?

bigbrownbootsUK: None. It’s our off today, I’m at my mum’s, so we have all the time to talk and even video call!

Oh no. NO NO NO Please you did not just say that! Video call? No! What to do? This is it. I’m busted.

bigbrownbootsUK: Unless you don’t want to? It’s fine with me I’d rather chat though. I look dead tired, sorry.

Thank God.

Nikki_Garcia: It’s fine, No worries. When is your next show?

bigbrownbootsUK: Tomorrow

Nikki_Garcia: So you only got a day for a break. You should be sleeping, take a rest, you got another big day tomorrow.

bigbrownbootsUK: I wanna talk to you first…

I think my heart skipped a beat for a second. You, Harry you.

And how nice, my playlist is playing the song ‘Once in a lifetime’ by Freestyle

I’LL LISTEN TO MY HEART THIS TIME,

PUT MY HEART BEFORE MY MIND…

It won’t hurt to make him listen to it too right? This is exactly what I feel about him right now; I wanna tell him how I feel through a song, so…

Nikki_Garcia: Okay, Hmm… can you take a sec and listen to this? It’s a Filipino song though, I hope you like it. I’m listening to it now

And I gave him the link of the song… I hope he likes it. And I hope he gets the message.

bigbrownbootsUK: ofcourse

hmm... tell me what you think Harry...

Oh this is taking too long...

It has been 10 minutes and 10 minutes is like 10 years to me! What now? Did he like it? Did he understand the message and maybe he was thinking that I’m taking it way too seriously now? Oh, the stress!

He is not replying.

Wow, he is not replying.

Another 5 minutes passed…

Buzz... buzz…

bigbrownbootsUK: I was hitting my replay button atleast 5 times now. How come you made me listen to this just now? This is goooood. I’ll make my sis listen to this

Nikki_Garcia: Glad you liked it.  Remember when you asked me what I felt when you told me you liked me? That’s my uhmm, answer.

Am I way too much? Oh my god no. I did not just say that.

Now he did not replied at all. It’s his off today right? He told me we got the whole day to talk and now he isn’t talking to me at all.

Eurggh. Whatever. Time to move on.

 Bye, Harry.

It was nice chatting with you. Can I die now? It’s like someone just stabbed me in my heart; hey, I don’t mean to be cheesy but this is how I’m feeling right now.

Time passed and he still haven’t messaged me yet. And I don’t want to come off like I’m desperate or something so I did not messaged him as well. Although I really, really want to.

Good thing my family and I went out for dinner so I had my mind off of him for a bit and I bought some clothes for my initial interview tomorrow as an editorial assistant in a fashion magazine so I had my time to go shopping and have a haircut and a bit of a color. I kept checking my phone but he had no reply, so I just switched my phone off and placed it in my mom’s bag so I won’t be able to check it while we’re out.

We went home. I had myself cleaned up, got ready for bed, got my phone from my mom’s bag, switched it on but still no message at all; although my last message was marked as ‘seen’ by him.

Note to self…

Don’t take it seriously, Nikki. If it was just a game for him, at least you got to play it with him. I mean look at you, you my friend are not that pretty, well, you got Julia Barretto’s pic on your dp, he thinks you’re her but helloooo… aren’t there any more women; beautiful women, I must say, that are out to get him? Say, Taylor Swift? Kendall Jenner? And all those anorexic super models that he got on a date with? So stop thinking about him. Move on. And focus on your initial interview tomorrow.

Right.

                                                           *********

‘You can do it! We know you can! Be careful okay? We love you no matter what’.

‘Thanks, Mom. I will.’ I answered, pulling out from her hug.

 I’m so happy that I got my family behind me. They are my support system, my pillars of strength I don’t even know if I can make it without them. Now this is the day, I should make the most out of it, I have been waiting for this interview and I want this so much. I mean, I’m not that fashionable but I want to work for a fashion magazine, I know it’s kind of weird but there’s something about the clothes, their colors and style, that makes me interested in working in that world. Plus, if hired, I can easily write articles that promote cheap and affordable fashion but you still look dashing without ripping off your pockets. I mean, I don’t get it why people tend to be obsessed with signature items, there’s nothing wrong with them but the money you spend from buying a signature bag or shoes can go far. If you have so much money, why don’t you invest in a business? Or a real estate? Or if you have all that already, why not donate to charity? I believe that women can still look good even without those overpriced labels there are way too much clothes and shoes that look good but still are within your means. I grew up not having everything I want but having what’s right. What I need. Like what I bought yesterday for this interview, these are all 50 percent offs from the department store. Just save for your future. I sound like I’m preaching here, sorry guys.

Anyways, my interview went well; I think? There were about 5 girls including me who are there for the position I’m applying, they were all pretty and well-dressed but I think I managed to ace off my interview. Although the manager looked at me up and down and I felt like she didn’t like what I was wearing, I just squeezed all the juices from my head and answered all her questions with all the best I can. I hope they call me…

I got home at about 7pm and checked my phone if there are any messages from Harry, but there still wasn’t.

I think I’m going crazy! Stop thinking about him! I keep telling myself.

‘How did it go?’ My mom asked while we were eating dinner. They even ordered my favorite pizza; they are so positive they think I’m immediately hired. If only I was positive like them.

‘Good, I think’.

‘You will be hired, okay honey? Don’t worry’ my dad told me

‘Thanks dad’ I answered with the widest smile I can so they won’t feel like I’m worried or anything, or even sad about my short lived love story with Harry Styles.

Then my brother which is in high school joked saying ‘You give me half of your salary when you get hired, Thanks!’ Oh, Okay that’s my brother ladies and gents.

‘Shut up!’ We get along so well, see?

After we finished dinner, I got to my room and watched some dvd’s… Okay, I watched UP ALL NIGHT by One Direction just trying to recall that moment when he told me who he really was and when he told me he likes me. Watching that makes me feel flattered, and happy that I got to talk to him but at the same time shattered and pissed that I am feeling this way. I know he isn’t even serious and I took it way too seriously now he’s gone. Here I am, lying in the cold hard ground like Taylor Swift. 

Oh my god Harry Styles, I knew you were trouble!

Then I went to bed with my earphones on and listened to that freaking song again, the song that made Harry Styles go away. Thanks freestyle, thanks a lot.  No, I will not cry we were just chatting for almost a month nothing serious. He was just bored, I was right all along everything will go away and this is it.

                                                           *************

The next day I woke up at about 9 am in the morning and I forgot to turn my music player off so my phone’s dead and I had to charge it while I was fixing my bed and while I was fixing myself for the day. I did all my household chores, did some exercising for a bit and cooked a decent meal for my family. And in order for me to get my mind off of him, I cleaned the house and my room, and folded my clothes nicely in my cabinet. I checked my phone, still no message from you know who. So I just left my phone in my room and spent the day reading, and doing some DIYs.

Oh well.

It was about 6 in the evening when I turned the television on and usually 6 pm is when all the news programs are up. I like to watch the news because I’d like to be updated as to what is happening around. I was flipping the channel when I saw One Direction were in the headlines of a local news program and it says ‘ONE DIRECTION, NAG COVER NG ISANG KANTANG PINOY!’ (ONE DIRECTION COVERS A FILIPINO SONG)

What?

Wha-

WHAT?

I’LL LISTEN TO MY HEART THIS TIME

PUT MY HEART BEFORE MY MIND

I KNOW THAT WHAT I FOUND IS

ONCE IN A LIFETIME

They sang in their own rendition.

I blinked my eyes for at least about 3 times and shaked my head because of disbelief…

Yeah, okay… well after you left me hanging, you and your band mates cover that song?

I went upstairs to get my phone, wanting to message him about their cover (now I got a valid reason to message him first)  when I saw that I got a message from him. Finally.

bigbrownbootsUK: so it’s mutual then…

bigbrownbootsUK: bigbrownbootsUK sent you a picture message!

Mini heart attack, It’s the printed copy of the lyrics of the song I sent him…

bigbrownbootsUK: sorry I messaged you just now, we were rehearsing this.

And my smile is back.

Nikki_Garcia: Hey, I thought you didn’t wanna talk so…

bigbrownbootsUK: really sorry I got busy convincing the boys and the band to do a cover of the song since it’s special…

Special?

Nikki_Garcia:  I saw it on tv. You guys were all over the news here for covering that song. And you did well. :)

bigbrownbootsUK:  glad you liked it. that was for you. well they don’t know exactly why I asked them to do that cover but I was persistent so they agreed.

Nikki_Garcia: I never thought you’d do that. Thank you.

bigbrownbootsUK: I want to. I told you I’m serious, I like you.

I’m serious, I like you…

I like you more Harry, words could not ever give justice how much I like you and what you did made me more scared about what might happen if you knew the truth.