16

I wake up in a clammy sweat. What was wrong with me? Why did I think I could pull this off? I get out of bed and pull on fresh clothes. The blue outfit feels fresh and crisp against my sweaty body. Rune is still in bed and the already dressed Genevieve is trying to wake her. Rune merely tosses in her sleep while Genevieve curses loudly.

"Hey, can I-ummm-try?" I ask.

"Be my guest! I'm not being late to classes for this lazy girl!" and with that she storms off, uttering swear words under her breath. She looks funny carrying her thick textbooks and wearing fancy black heels. I wait until I hear the sound of her clicking heels disappear, before walking over to Rune. Rune's eyes are pressed shut, and her body quivers. Her black hair is sprawled around her, giving her the look of destress or loss. She's having a nightmare.

"Rune? Rune, are you ok?" I whisper, my tone as soft and concerned as it could be. I press myself close to her ear and whisper once more. "Rune, it'll be ok. I'm here now. You aren't alone." I wish I could help stir her from the terrors of her dream, but only she can do so. "Rune," I utter quietly, "be brave." After those words are spoken, and seemingly in response to them, Rune's eyes fly open.

"Why are you here Vic? You're going to be late! Why did you stay for me? Why not just go?" she chatters, sounding like an erudite with her questions, but an amity by tone.

"That doesn't matter." I state honestly, as though it were the easiest and truest thing ever spoken, "What matters right now is you. Are you ok?" I'm surprised by my words, but she seems more shocked than me. Yet, she also seems pleased.

"Your tone makes you sound so, so brave. Like, as the dauntless do. I guess that's kind of expected, since you were dauntless before, but it felt so beautiful when they were spoken aloud." Rune says, her eyes glowing with awe, respect and bewilderment. "How did it feel to say such bold words anyway?"

"They surprised me." I admit, "I was really just concerned. That looked like some nightmare."

"It was. It's not important, I can barely remember it. We need to get to class." Rune's voice is full of determination, one that I've always valued and noticed. She gathers up her books, and heads for the door. When in the threshold, she turns to gaze at me. "Vic, I-I-thanks."

"No problem." I mutter, collecting my textbooks. Rune and I ask for directions to our own classes and part ways with a small wave and a smile. My first class is science, so I scurry down the hall towards the labs that I was told to go to. Even with my directions, it takes a while to find the small lab where the class is held. By the time I find it, I'm late. I stride into the room, trying not to look nervous. The instructor turns her head, and I'm shocked to see Jeanine standing there. Her pale eyes pierce me searchingly, asking for an explanation without her having to speak. She looks me over casually, making me fully aware of my fitful appearance. My hair is tangled, as I did not brush it. My clothes are wrinkled and messy. My eyes must be dark from lack of sleep, and I must seem somewhat sweaty. Then I notice where her eyes linger most, the spot where on my shoulder where my tattoo is. I forgot to make sure it was covered, and when I turn to glance at it, I notice that it is completely uncovered.

"You're late." Jeanine says at last, her gaze transfixed on me, awaiting an explanation.

"Yeah, I realized." I say defiantly. Some of the other students gasp, but I don't care. It doesn't matter if Jeanine is my leader or not, as she means nothing to me. "I was aware of class starting, and I don't care." I admit boldly. I feel like a pure dauntless, with adrenaline running through me. The thrill of nervous excitement that I'm used to. My words bring up another gasp. Jeanine raises her hands to silence my shocked peers.

"If this young lady feels she can skip class comfortably, than so be it. Let her fail to pass examinations and mental training. Let her become factionless." Jeanine's voice is calm, and although it appears she is addressing my classmates, I see her stern eyes fixed on me. "Vic, please take a seat."

The rest of the class seems directed at me. Jeanine sends me question after question, apparently trying to catch me off guard. Each time I can supply an answer, sometimes answers unknown to the rest of the class. But all of them are correct. Jeanine can tell the other instructors what she wants, but I leave with a smug determination, and a feeling of success, while others leave in despair and defeat. I hurry to my other classes, determined not to make such bad impressions on the other instructors as I did on Jeanine Matthews. Several instructors are impressed with me, and I feel a growing envy of fellow students. After classes, I head back to my room, surprised to find Rune and Genevieve already there. Genevieve's head is buried within her book, she's studying. I see no need for it however, as the classes were fairly straight forward.

"When's dinner?" I ask, realizing that I haven't ate all day today, or the day before.

"Soon." Rune promises, mouth watering. I'm surprised to see a book on her lap as well.

"Studying?" I wonder.

"Yeah." Rune admits, "Some of those classes were hard."

"I suggest you work then instead of talking." Genevieve states flatly, "Why aren't you studying Vic?"

"In case you haven't noticed, I just got here, and the classes weren't hard. It would be stupid to worry myself unnecessarily. If I did that, I'd be to nervous to remember a thing."

"You didn't find the classes at all challenging?" Genevieve asks, shock plain in her tones.

"Yeah, those classes were hard, Vic." Rune whispers. I merely shrug.

"Do you want help?" I ask.

"No!" Genevieve shouts, a little too fiercely.

"Not now." Rune whispers, with a look at Genevieve's glare.

Later, Rune and I walk down to dinner. 

"You didn't find the classes hard?" She asks sadly.

"No," I admit, "I did not."

Rune sighs. "I guess that makes me one of the only people that are struggling. I wish I was more erudite. I had no hope anywhere else, my aptitude was strictly erudite. I wasn't even close to another score. It's hard to break old habits, but I know this is where I belong." Her eyes turn to mine. "I don't know. I know it's illogical and darn right stupid to hope for this, but I wonder if there was a mistake. I wonder if I should be somewhere else you know."

I smile gingerly, "We both know that the aptitude test doesn't make mistakes."

"What about the divergent? They are often spoken of as a problem."

I find myself flushing uncontrollably. "That's different. It's-It's a mistake in the natures of those people, not in the test itself."

"I'm glad I'm not divergent." Rune admits, not noticing the redness of my face, "I hear that they have dangerous powers and skills."

I nod silently, thinking of my unusual ability not to struggle with the classes and grin. "Maybe they do Rune. Maybe they do."

The next two days of classes pass much like the first. Rune seems to get more flustered and nervous each day while Genevieve seems to become more confident. But finally, on the third and final day of study and classes, something goes wrong.

I return to my room after classes to find Rune crying, rubbing her red puffy eyes. Her black hair sways around her shivering body. I run to her side, wanting to help. "Rune! Rune, are you ok?" I exclaim. She bursts deeper into tears, pulling a pillow over her head. "Rune! Rune, answer me! Are you hurt?" She shakes her head, and stares up at me mournfully. "Tell me what's wrong." I say, in a much calmer, soothing tone, "It will be alright." She draws in a shaky breath and struggles to release it.

"C-C-Classes-Classes end t-t-tod-d-day." She splutters.

"And?"

"I-I-I well-I-I can't-I don't think." She sighs, and breaths in again. "I don't think I'll pass the examinations. Genevieve won't help me. Y-You k-k-know that only-only some of u-us can g-g-get in. She thinks t-t-that it's-that it's helping-helping c-c-competition."

"I'll help you! We can start right now." I sooth.

"Ok. But why would you want to?" Rune asks.

"Because, I don't care about getting in as you do. I know-well it's-it's only a matter of time." I state, trying to be calm.

"Before what?" Rune asks.

"Before they kick me out, because-because-"

"Because you're divergent." Rune finishes.

"How do-how did-" I mumble.

"You're smart, kind and brave. Surely that means you gained aptitude for erudite, abnegation and dauntless. You also spoke as if you knew about the divergent from experience. I merely guessed and assumed. It really was your embarrassment of the subject that confirmed it." Rune says, "It's rare to get three factions you know. I'm impressed."

I smile, "You sound like a real erudite. Jeanine would be proud. Why didn't you tell anyone?"

"Because I am your friend." She states, "At least, I think I am."

"Of course you are." Should I tell her that I received aptitude for four factions instead of three? Why not? She already knows of my divergence, what harm could it do? "Rune?" I mutter as she gets out her textbooks.

"Yes, Vic?"

"Four factions, not three." I admit, trying not to be a pansycake.

"Candor." she confirms finally. "No wonder you always seem so honest." I find myself blushing. She is being awfully sweet about this.

"What do you need help with?" I ask.

"Mainly history. Can you help me memorize the faction manifestos? I don't quite understand what they are." Rune says.

"The manifestos are kind of like saying or rules. Each faction wrote one when their faction was formed." I state, sounding like on of my textbooks.

"Got it. I know the amity manifesto, but I don't know the others. I thought if you said them, they'd have more feeling, and they'd be much easier to remember. Could you say them? It would really help." Rune says, sounding embarrassed.

"Sure. Which one first?"

"Abnegation. That one is shorter than the others right? I want to start with something simple." Rune says.

"Ok. Ready?" I inquire.

"Ready." she props her chin in her hands, awaiting my recital.

"I will become my undoing, If I become my obsession. I will forget the ones I love, if I do not serve them. I will war with others, if I refuse to see them. Therefore I choose to turn away from my reflection, to rely not on myself, but on my brothers and sisters. To project always outward, until I disappear." I recite, admiring the feel of the words that I do believe quite true.

"Wow." Rune says awestruck.

"Some add the line, "and only god remains" but that is at the choice of each person." I explain.

"I love the way you said it Vic. You made it sound quite poetical." Rune's tone is distant and pleased.

"Do you remember it?" I ask.

"Yes," she mutters, before reciting it by heart at my request. It sounds correct, but I have to remind her to mention the added line. "Can we do the dauntless one next?" Rune wonders aloud.

"Sure. Why don't you say the we believes and the we do not believes?" I question.

"Good idea." She says, opening her textbook to the right page. "We believe."

"That cowardice is to blame for the world's injustices."

"We believe."

"That peace is hard won, and that sometimes it is necessary to fight for peace. But more than that,"

"We believe."

"That justice is more important than peace."

"We believe."

"In freedom from fear, in denying fear the power to influence our decisions."

"We believe."

"In ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another."

"We believe."

"In acknowledging fear and the extent to which it rules us."

"We believe."

"In facing fear no matter what the cost of our comfort, happiness, or even our sanity."

"We believe."

"In shouting for those that can only whisper, in defending those that cannot defend themselves."

"We believe."

"Not just in bold words but in bold deeds to match them."

"We believe."

"That pain and death are better than cowardice and inaction, because."

"We believe."

"In action."

"We do not believe."

"In living comfortable lives."

"We don not believe."

"That silence is useful."

"We do not believe."

"In good manners."

"We do not believe."

"In limiting the fullness of life."

"We do not believe."

"In empty heads, empty mouths, or empty hands."

"We do not believe."

"That mastering violence encourages unnecessary violence."

"We do not believe."

"That we should be allowed to stand idly by."

"We do not believe."

"That any other virtue is more important than bravery." I finish. It carries on much like this. I say the erudite and candor manifestos before we move on to other subjects like science and mathematics. When we eventually go to bed, Genevieve returns to the room, carrying her books. "You selfish pig!" I shout, "Where have you been!"

"Studying, and even so, it's none of your business Vic." She answers coldly.

"None of my business? My roommate's been crying because you wouldn't help her!"

"Calm down Vic." Rune mutters, but I pay her no heed.

"Do you want we to punch you! Because I certainly feel like it!" I yell. I know I've gone to far, but the thought of Rune's tears is enough to push me into tightening my closed fists and raising them. Then Rune pushes me onto the bed.

"Stop it." She whispers, "Forget it Vic please. I appreciate it but just don't."

"Ok." I mutter softly, although I really want to hit Genevieve. I curl up into my bed. "Get some sleep Rune, we have examinations tomorrow."

"Ok." She smiles, mimicking my reluctant tone. It's not really that funny, but I use her tone to laugh myself to sleep.