feelings (2)

A week after that whole thing with Yamaguchi that Tsukishima would rather forget in the deepest depths of hell.

"A class trip?" Yachi whispered to the male, Tsukishima leaned closer to hear her better, a habit of his "Where do you think we will go, Tsukishima-kun?" Yachi looked at him, he shrugged.

He didn't really care much for field trips, but this will be the first time he wouldn't be with Yamaguchi. But... he didn't really mind since Yachi would be there with him. He slightly blushes at the thought he just had.

Ever since that talk with Yamaguchi, his thoughts were suddenly filled with the girl, not like he hadn't thought of her before that, but now it was just crowding his brain. Usually, he would stop himself and think about something more productive like doing work, but no matter how hard he tried, his mind would still drift back to the girl.

Schoolwork? He would think about English then it would then lead to how Yachi was good at English and then he would catch himself because he just thought about the girl again.

Volleyball? He would try thinking about his previous matches and how he should utilize his time during breaks... but then it would fall back to remembering how Yachi would give him his water bottle and towel... and that time where she couldn't get the box of the water bottle from a tall shelf, so he had to help-

See!? No matter how hard he tried, Yachi would still come to his mind. At this point, he had already accepted it and waited until his mind would stop one day. But so far, it has just been getting worse.

-

"You need to be in pairs while we visit the newly opened museum." Now that caught Tsukishima's attention, a museum? Heck yes. He would go every day. Then he remembered Yachi telling him about it a few days ago, and he turned to the girl.

Yachi's eyes lit up. It almost blinded Tsukishima. "Tsukishima-kun, are you excited? I am! I've wanted to visit the new museum since it opened, but with our volleyball team and me helping my mom during weekends... I didn't have time." Yachi said, sighing a bit. Tsukishima was excited, he really was, he was also very excited for the girl too. "Want to partner up? I'm still not comfortable with our new class..."

Tsukishima nodded, it's not like had any other friends besides Yachi in the class. He saw the girl lit up, maybe... he was also happy to partner her. But he will not admit that to himself, over his dead body! He had to force his lips not to curl up into a smile.

-

Yamaguchi grinned, staring at his friend with sparkling eyes. Tsukishima tried to ignore it but it was seriously getting on his nerves.

"Alright! Fine! I'll admit it- Stupid Yamaguchi!" Tsukishima snapped, pouting his lips as he looked away from his friend. Yamaguchi smiled even wider.

"Tsukki!!" Yamaguchi couldn't help but hug the male. He was so happy, after what.... 14? No maybe 15 years? Yamaguchi doesn't exactly know, but after so long of waiting, Tsukishima, his one, and only best friend have caught feelings. Yamaguchi was too excited, well, excited was an understatement of how happy Yamaguchi felt.

"You're making this such a big deal when it's not." But Tsukishima's heart was racing harder than ever and it didn't help that his friend was fanboying while he hugged him.

Tsukishima was a very cold person, with a cold shoulder, cold stare, cold heart. But- he still has his weakness and still has loopholes through his heart. And many people have poked holes through his gloomy exterior which he grumbly accepts. Hinata, Kageyama, Yamaguchi, and now Yachi all just threw a rock on his wall around his heart and somehow hit a weak point, making his protective walls break and fall like wooden sticks.

He grumbled, now that he has admitted to his feelings, he is more scared than ever. Will she even remotely like him? Heck- he isn't even that good of a friend, how would he be at being a boyfriend? If there is even a slim chance, why must he try anyways if there's only a 1% chance? But deep in his heart, really in there(You really have to dig deep in there), there was a small voice telling him to just go for it. So instead of listening to his brain screaming at him that this isn't a good idea, he selfishly listened to that weak thought

-

The day of the field trip came, it was unfortunate that it was on a Friday so they would have to skip their Volleyball activities. But Tsukishima was really excited to see the museum, maybe they were the only one's happy to go to the museum as his other classmates were groaning and whining. He looked down at Yachi who sat beside him, instantly his heartbeat way faster than before. He just has to calm down and enjoy- just like normal- just-

"You look very excited, Tsukishima-kun," Yachi said, chuckling. Tsukishima blushed a bit but he nodded shyly. "I'm pretty excited too! I heard they have a dinosaur exhibition, I heard from Yamaguchi-kun that you liked dinosaurs."

Fuck- It might be harder than what he calculated, and heck he was actually good at math!

"Yeah, I do. I wonder what they'll make us do though, it's still a field trip." Tsukishima added, trying to distract himself. Yachi just shrugged. He took out his headsets, he forgot to bring his headphones today (Maybe from thinking about a certain someone) but he also had an extra headset in his bag, just in case, he pushed it in the hole of his phone and scrolled at his multiple playlists. Yachi took out her phone and started scrolling through her E-books.

They ended up silently doing their things while their class was being noisy and fooling around. Yachi frowned, getting distracted.

"Yachi-san?" Tsukishima called out, he noticed the girl being distressed. Yachi quickly turned to him, tilting her head. He hesitated "Do you... wanna listen to my music?"

Yachi stared at him for a few seconds, like examining him, before smiling and nodding, he took off his left earpiece and handed it to her, she placed it on her left ear and instantly heard the soft piano.

"I didn't expect Tsukishima-kun to listen to such soft music," Yachi teased, chuckling. Tsukishima grumbled.

"I can change to my other playlist if you want, it'll be more annoying than our class," Tsukishima said, taking out his phone to scroll to his metal playlist. Yachi panicked and grabbed his hands and pulled them down. Tsukishima's skin burned under her touch and it took every will to live he had (Which was not much) to stop his mind from going crazy.

"No! No... This is fine! I would rather not listen to rock." Yachi said desperately, Tsukishima snickered but placed his phone back down on his lap, her hands returned back to her own lap too. He turned to look at the window and admired the blurry lines of the scenery. Well, it was just to distract him from his running mind and thumping heart.

"What other music do you listen to, Tsukishima-kun?" He suddenly felt a tap on his shoulder, he turned to look back at the girl. She was staring at him with curiosity in her eyes. He frowned and thought about it.

"I have a wide range of genres, I like a lot of music genres Some Conan grey, a few the 90's songs too... I've heard Corpse Husband's songs too, although it's violent and has a lot of cursing, I like it. Oh! Rap songs, but I don't like the ones like blueberry faygo, that's distasteful. I- I also like some Disney tracks and even cartoon songs like from adventure time and Steven..." Tsukishima said, his eyes lighting up, he really felt passionate about music. Yachi chuckled and he stopped talking.

"A-ah! I wasn't laughing at your music tastes! I certainly agree with your songs, I think 90's songs are also great, I've only heard Corpse's E-girl song but I think I would listen to it, although I don't really listen to rap, I have a few that I like, Bts Suga's raps are great! And the artist, IU, might be my favourite. A-and I've actually watched Adventure time!" Yachi said, panicking a bit. Tsukishima smiled and nodded. Yachi calmed down when she saw the male looking not angry.

"IU is great, a bit soft for me but I enjoy her songs, Oliver tree is also a good artist, the songs are unique and I like it..." Tsukishima said, they both carried on talking, just about songs and recommendations, it turned into movies and Tsukishima noted that Yachi loved the new Enola holmes movie, Yachi also liked watching adventure and some romance movies like the notebook and to all the boys I've loved before. She doesn't like thriller movies and would rather watch horror and- why is he noting this down?

-

They finally arrived and their class was split into half with their partners. Tsukishima and Yachi were at the back of the paired lines, not really listening. Yachi looked around excitedly. They finally started moving, but they both easily got bored since their teacher was not waiting for them to explore every station and was just brushing through. Besides, Tsukishima was grumpy that they wouldn't be visiting the dinosaur exhibition, since they were only there for more war-related history. Yachi suddenly felt a hand pull her away from the group.

"Yachi-san, let's just leave the group and explore by ourselves," Tsukishima said, turning back to her, his hand was still gripping her wrist, she looked at the leaving group and then back to him, nodding. The warm yellow lights from the museum covered Tsukishima's flushed cheeks, he wondered how that boost of confidence came from and made him pull her.

"Anyways, next up is- where are Tsukishima and Yachi?" They heard their teacher. Tsukishima pulled her behind a pillar and hid.

Yachi's heart started beating faster as she saw how close Tsukishima was, she saw his defined jawline and even a small bit of his exposed collar. She could feel his scent right at her nose, making her dizzy. He smelled good, like a gentle wind from the ocean, or when you smell the fresh cold midnight air, a hint of his detergent on his clothes. Her view was all of Tsukishima and her heart wasn't going to make it if he doesn't move away soon.

Tsukishima was peeking behind the wall and relaxed when he didn't see their class. He took a step back and turned back to her, his glass slipping off again. He fixed his glasses to better see her.

"Let's go to the dinosaur exhibit, Yachi-san." Tsukishima pulled her along while she was still in a daze. They quickly found their way to the dinosaur exhibition and Tsukishima's eyes lit up as they walked in. Yachi chuckled and they followed the general paths the museum had laid out.

"Oh look! Sauroposeidon!" Yachi said, pointing to a picture of the dinosaur. She grabbed the hem of his sleeves and pulled him along, they read the information slide.

"Haha, the tallest dinosaur, it reminds me of you, Tsukishima-kun," Yachi said, carrying on with her reading, she didn't know how much it affected the male, he blushed hard and stared at the girl. They did a few interactive activities, like guessing the dinosaur by when they were discovered, or the ones that made you mix and match to make your own breed of dinosaur. Yachi made her dinosaur have a long head and thick long legs and a long tail. She chuckled.

"I'll name it the Kei-asaur." Yachi giggled, Tsukishima rolled his eyes but smiled at the girl's antics, he looked at his one, it was a tiny dinosaur, it had a very long tail but its legs were short, it was black with yellow trips, it reminded him of the girl beside him. He grinned.

They started walking to other exhibits. There was one for the evolution of humans, one about ants and how they have evolved their outer exterior and communication between ants. They finally arrived back at the center of the museum, near the gift shop Yachi begged him to follow her. He sighed and agreed.

"Look! Tsukishima-kun it's you!" Yachi teased, running to the cute brachiosaurus merchandise. Tsukishima clicked his tongue as she held up a small plushie and held it up to compare him with. She giggled and placed it back "I'm just teasing."

Tsukishima couldn't help but smirk, they walked around again and goofed around, Yachi bursting in laughter when Tsukishima wore the dinosaur hat. Tsukishima snickered when Yachi wore an antenna headband.

Yachi then pushed him out of the store, telling him to wait for her. Tsukishima didn't know why she just kicked him out, but he just shrugged and decided to scroll through his phone.

His mind drifted to what they had done for the past 1 or 2 hours, it felt nice... just the two of them goofing off and having fun- he blushed hard when he remembered the times their hands would brush or when he leaned down a bit too low and he'd just suddenly see her up so close, with her pretty eyelashes, her soft glossy lips, how her nose curved just the way that matches everything on her face, and her smile was so bright and pretty, he wondered how it feels if he ran his thumb over her lips-

"I'm back! Here," Yachi said, Tsukishima flinched and snapped out of his... VERY detailed thought. He looked at her pulling out a cute dinosaur plushie keychain. She had 2 of the same design. He examined the cute keychain while she placed her one on the zipper of her backpack.

"You didn't have to, but thank you." He said, Yachi just shrugged.

"It's for memories' sake. Anyways, we should actually find our group before they leave us." Yachi said, feeling a bit flustered. Tsukishima nodded, he swung his bag in front of him and attached the cute keychain to one of his zippers. He smiled at the cute dinosaur, he was grateful for the girl who gave that to him. Yachi then patted his shoulder and pointed to their group just coming out of one of the exhibitions. They ran up to them.

"Where were you guys?" the teacher asked, they both looked at each other and shrugged.

"We got lost along the way and just decided to go along the paths until we found the center of the museum" Tsukishima lied, the teacher sighed and nodded, not bothering to ask more questions, they were the few students who she didn't really have to worry since they were good. They got back to the back of the line, smiling and grinning at each other. Yachi held out her hands for a high five, he gladly high fived her.

"Success." She whispered. Tsukishima had a lot of fun with the girl and as they waited for the bus, they talked about the exhibitions. He felt his heart beating a bit faster as the girl rambled on about the human evaluation exhibition. His cheeks would blush whenever she would suddenly stare at him and my goodness did he just want to melt whenever she would smile.

They got on the bus, letting Yachi sit down first before him. Tsukishima plugged on his headset and gave her his left earpiece, she gladly took it. They were silent this time, just enjoying the quiet bus. Many of their classmates were sleeping, some talking softly this time so he could easily relax.

Until he felt ahead on his arm, he turned to his side to see Yachi sleeping peacefully.

"You must've been tired." He whispered to himself. He positioned himself to let her have a less uncomfortable sleep, in the end, his hand was wrapped on her shoulder as she rested on his chest. He moved the position of the cooling air away from Yachi and lowered the volume of his earphones. Yachi slurred a bit but just to move her head to a better position.

Tsukishima didn't dare to move in fear of waking up the girl. His class has now noticed their position and where now snickering and teasing him.

"Hey- hey, Mr stone face isn't actually cold-hearted." One of the class guys teased, Tsukishima glared at him and he silently backed away, scared.

"Quickly, take a pic. I'm sure one of the volleyball players would pay money to get this pic." Another classmate said, taking a handful of pictures.

"Hey- sit down properly!" The teacher snapped at them. They all finally left Tsukishima alone. He sighed frustratingly. He suddenly felt his phone buzzing, he already knew something bad was going to unfold if he read the text messages he was getting so he muted them all and ignored the snickering of his class.

-

(Monday)

"So..." Yamaguchi started.

"So..." Tsukishima copied him. Yamaguchi sighed.

"I did pay 10 dollars for that picture... another 5 to print it out 2 pictures 1 big and one to fit in my wallet... Oh! and... she's avoiding you." Yamaguchi said, pulling out his wallet to see his newly printed photo of Tsukishima and Yachi. They're walking home from school.

Tsukishima groaned in annoyance. It was actually Tsukishima and Yachi cleaning duty but he was surprised that Yachi left first and asked one of the girls to fill in for her. It wasn't all that too, she had little to no interaction with him even though they sat together, she ran away as fast as she could if she even saw a glimpse of him and even had to make up excuses just to run away. Tsukishima was not feeling his best, and his so-called best friend isn't helping him by admiring the picture that started all this annoying awkward tension!

"Would you please hide that picture? Or so help me, I will rip that apart." Tsukishima said, glaring at Yamaguchi's wallet. Yamaguchi quickly closed his wallet and placed it back in his pocket. Tsukishima sighed.

"Look, Tsukki. You just gotta not care about it. It's not a big deal right? Like, I fall asleep on your shoulders too when we ride the bus- you even let Hinata sleep that 1 bus ride... granted you were also asleep... And no one can resist your shoulder, it's actually really nice- even Sugawara-senpai said that one time, and Hinata- oops that's off-topic, But just tell her it isn't that big of a deal, unless.... You want it to be?" Yamaguchi said, looking at his friend curiously. Tsukishima grumbled even more. But he had to agree with his friend, it was just sleeping on his shoulder- sorry, chest. And it is not a big deal... no matter how much he hated the word with her, she is just his friend. Right.

That's it! That's what Yamaguchi was telling him all this time! Ignore his feelings until it disappears. He smiled and thanked his friend, who looked at him in both confusion and horror.

"Right- I just have to bury my feelings deep underground until it disappears- You're a genius, Yamaguchi!" Tsukishima said, feeling better. Yamaguchi shook his head.

"No! No! That's not what I meant- Tsukki listen to me!" Yamaguchi tried to pull back his friend, but Tsukishima was too far down to be saved. "He's gone..." He stared at his friend, looking serious again. Yamaguchi sighed.

"Before you do anything stupid... I'll just say this okay?" Yamaguchi pulled his friend to stop, Tsukishima nodded. "This is not what I said! You should never block your emotions because one day it'll explode! Remember all that horrible tension you had during our volleyball camp, it's the same thing! And- Tsukki you should just explain the misunderstanding, you're her friend now and just ignoring your feelings about her entirely won't lead to anything good."

Tsukishima knew that deep down inside. But he was scared. He was scared that what he finds is that 99% chance of her not liking him back. At first, he thought he would just give it a shot. He still had 1% of her liking him back. But he was a logical person, so this time, instead of listening to that small voice in his heart, he'll focus on his screaming brain to tell him to stop trying to get her. It'll be better anyway. Yachi can do better than him.

That hurt more than Tsukishima would admit.