nineteen

—MONDAY

im woken up by soda nearly shoving me off my bed. "christ you're a heavy sleeper, get up youre gonna be late!" he shouts.

i sit up groggily, rubbing my eyes and looking at the time on the clock. i jump out of bed when i notice the time.

i've got about 25 minutes to get ready. "out! out!" i shout at soda as i shove him out of the door, shutting it.

i make my bed quickly, it's quite messy. i shuffle through my clothes, throwing on jeans from my laundry basket and a white hoodie hung in my closet.

i throw my hair into a pony tail, leaving my curtain bangs down, not having any time to style them.

i rush into the bathroom, pushing ponyboy out of the way. "hey!" he whines.

i brush my teeth and wash my face before going back to my room and packing up my bag.

"chop, chop, you two!" soda shouts at pony and i. i sling my bag onto my shoulder and check myself in my mirror one more time before walking out.

pony and i meet soda at the door, and just before i step out, darry says "remember, school then home, annalise. that's it."

i roll my eyes and say goodbye as we leave. during the car ride i'm asked usual questions, mostly about how i feel about going back after missing the last couple days.

i'm not too nervous, i wasn't gone too long. once we arrive, pony and i hop out, splitting ways.

i sit against the school brick and gaze around for my friend, as pony joins his.

my attention is pulled away from the crowd when my name is called. "hey, curtis!" i hear from behind me.

i know that voice anywhere.

i turn around and to my expectations, see dallas pulled up front in his car. my breath hitches slightly as i cross my arms, walking over to him.

i lean down a bit, making sure i can see him. "get out of here, dallas" i spit.

he furrows his eyebrows. "watch your tone, princess" he says, forming a smirk. i hate that damn smirk. i can feel the butterflies form in my stomach already.

"i'm picking you up during your lunch, we gotta talk."

"absolutely not, dallas" i say "it's my first day back, i have more to catch up on. we can talk later."

i begin turning away, but he reaches out and grabs ahold of my arm. "no, we can't. i'll be here waiting during lunch, dont disappoint" he finishes and speeds off.

i scoff, then turn away, walking into the school. unable to find my friend hayden, i walk to class.

time passes, ive had two classes so far. next is lunch. i haven't seen hayden at all today, so i assume she's not here.

i sigh, deciding to go out to the front of the school to see if dallas showed up. i would rather do that then sit alone at lunch or wait for it to end in the bathroom or something.

i walk into the parking lot and see dallas sitting in his car, smoking a cigarette.

i bite my lower lip as i march over. his gaze meets mine once he notices i'm there.

"hop in."

i do as he says and walk around the car to the passenger side. i open the door and plop in, throwing my bag in the back.

"dairy queen?" he asks as he pulls out. i nod, not knowing what to say to him.

i point my knees to my door, leaning my body that way, still angry with dallas.

the car ride was silent until we got to the drive thru. "whatdya want?" he asks, getting out his beat up wallet.

i shrug my shoulders "a burger, i guess" i say quietly.

he orders, and then we sit in the parking lot. he starts eating his fries.

"i'm real sorry," he says, putting in another fry.

i scoff at him "yeah, i'm sure you are" i reply.

he furrows his eyebrows "i'm serious, curtis."

"christ, dallas!" i shout suddenly. i honestly hadn't meant too, i was thinking about how irritated i am with him.

or more so, with myself. how do i still have feelings for him?

"what's your deal?" he asks, resting his arm on his seat.

"nothing" i mumble, taking a bite from my burger.

"well, anyway, i just wanted to tell you i'm sorry, for real.." he starts "i shouldn't have left you there, or talked about johnny, or kissed you" he finishes, nearly whispering the last part.

i look over at him, his dark brown eyes staring down at me. i close my eyes and scratch my head taking a breath "it's cool."

"really?" he asks. i look back over at him, his eyes; almost sad.

"i mean, yeah. it's no big deal" i reply.

"oh, alright" he says, starting the car again.

"what's wrong now?" i ask as we drive away. he looks over at me and shrugs.

"okay, well, i want you to know," i say, meeting my eyes with his "it's okay to talk about johnny. i don't want you to bottle anything up."

he nods, pulling over. "what are you doing?"

he leans his head back, and lets out a groan. "i lied," he says. i give him a confused look. "i do care about you, annalise. i- i dunno, i say stupid shit."

a smile forms on my face, and my cheeks turn red. "i'm well aware of that" i say with a chuckle, referring to the last part.

suddenly, one of his hands is placed on my lap, and the other on my face. he pulls me in, for yet, another kiss.

i stop him this time, not wanting to get myself hurt "stop, dallas" i say sternly. he does.

i sigh, "what are you trying to do?" i ask. "you don't want me with devin or something? what's your problem?"

he shakes his head "no, no that's not what-" he stops himself "shit, i don't know, man. i'm just confused."

"about what?"

he leans his head down on his steering wheel for a moment before bringing it back up. he looks at me "about how i feel about you."

not knowing what to say, i remain speechless. i wait for him to go on.

"seeing you with devin, or more importantly seeing the mark he had given you, made me angry, and i hate it" he says.

"oh?" i whisper, not wanting him to think i didn't care. i wanted him to keep talking.

"christ, curtis.." he groans. "forget it."

i shake my head viciously. "oh, no, i..i get it dal. i mean- i get the same feeling when i see you talk to girls" i blurt out, not wanting him to close up.