4

When they arrive back to the kingdom, Philza is quick to ask how it went. Neither seem to want to answer, only making Philza more nervous. Wilbur's wings flutter behind him awkwardly as he shuffles his feet on the ground. Technoblade clenches his jaw, waiting for Wilbur to say something.

"Well? Tell me then, what happened?" Philza pushes again, "Your silence only makes me eager."

"Wilbur! Technoblade! You're back!" Tommy comes running, a wide smile on his face. He latches himself onto Technoblade in a tight hug. Techno stiffens at the sudden embrace, then slowly relaxes and pats the back of the boy hugging him.

Then he moves to Wilbur, hugging him for a considerably longer time than Technoblade. It makes him smile, the feeling of Tommy's hug again. Wilbur is quick to hug him back, gently rocking him side to side.

"Would you like to come to the garden with me?" Tommy asks the two of them.

"They can go after they tell me what happened, alright?" Philza confirms and glances at the two gods before him.

"Alright, I'll be at the willow tree!" Tommy smiles, cheerful as ever.

Techno watches him leave, desperate to follow him. He would do anything other than tell Philza what happened at Las Nevadas.

How he gave in again.

But when Philza beckons for the two to follow him to his office, he finds himself following. He knows he could just walk away, and Philza wouldn't do anything, but he can't leave Wilbur to tell him by himself.

They step into the large office, sitting at the two chairs. Philza fixes a couple books on his shelf before sitting in front of them.

"What happened?" Philza asks, entirely unaware of what happened. Or what's about to happen.

"Be specific," Technoblade says, "Well, what do you want to hear? The good things or the bad things?"

"Both, bad first, though. You know my policy," Philza fiddles with a pen. Nothing too bad could've happened, right?

"I beat up the war god in a bar. I almost beat up Quackity himself," Techno confesses almost everything.

I let the voices take control, is what he really wants to say. He finds it too difficult to admit.

"You're joking, right?" Philza chuckles, but Technoblade's expression tells him he's anything but joking.

"No, he's not," Wilbur murmurs, fiddling with his hands underneath the table as his leg bounces. It's a habit when he's nervous.

"Technoblade, may I speak with you privately?" Philza asks in an almost threatening way. Wilbur looks at Technoblade, and Techno looks at Wilbur.

"Sorry," Wilbur mouths and gets up from his chair. He walks out of the office, shooting Techno one last glance.

"Tell me what happened," Philza speaks slowly, looking at Techno with eyes that listen. Eyes that Techno confided in so many eons ago.

"Sapnap provoked me, called me weak. I tried my best not to give in, to not cave to the voices. I couldn't help it- the next thing I knew I was... I was hitting him," Techno avoids eye contact at all costs. Although he's not afraid of Philza, he feels a twinge of guilt when he tells him.

Maybe it's because he promised him he wouldn't listen to the voices again all those eons ago.

"Quackity told me to prove to him I wasn't in control. And I did, I let the voices win again. I let them take control and I tackled him. Only Wilbur was there to stop me, if not I'm not sure what I would have done to him."

"Technoblade," Philza says firmly, firmly enough to make red eyes meet blue. "It's okay, I know you aren't used to it. It's alright."

"Philza it's not alright!" Techno protests, "I let them win! Don't you understand? If I let them win that easily, how do I control myself?"

You can't, the voices laugh, we are always in control.

"Technoblade, take a deep breath."

"Why should I listen to you?" Techno shouts, he's on his feet now, arms wide as his hands lay on the desk in front of him. "You left me! You left me and didn't say a thing! Why should I listen to you, Philza?"

"You know what happens when you get angry like this. Calm down," Philza orders and stands up as well, pulling Techno down to his seat by his shoulders. He only springs back up, he's taller than Philza, and it's a bit threatening.

"I won't listen to you!" Techno decides, although he knows that alone could backfire. "I learned to handle myself while you left me!"

"Clearly you aren't doing a good job at it!" Philza counters and stares at him in the short silence.

"I don't need your help. I learned to deal with them," in all honesty, that was a lie. He hasn't learned how.

"By satisfying them?"

"By ignoring them."

"And how is that going for you, Technoblade?" The obsidian-winged man crosses his arms and looks at Technoblade in a way when he knows he is right.

The silence is loud. Maybe that's because the voices are screaming at him.

What a fool, they cackle, insulting you like that. Are you going to let him do that? Aren't you going to stop him?

Techno chooses to ignore them, although he knows he can't from previous manners. His head jerks to the side, an attempt from the voices to control him.

"I can see you're struggling with them," Philza says, looking at Technoblade with those same eyes. "Take a deep breath."

This time, Technoblade finds himself listening to him. He inhales through his nose and exhales through his mouth, chest rising and falling as he does. They both repeat the process together until the voices have quieted down, and Techno nods at him.

"Don't be afraid to come to me for help, Technoblade," Philza smiles and gestures to the door that Technoblade walks out of moments later.

Intending to keep his promise, he walks to the garden along the stone path. Gardeners at work wave to him shyly, knowing who he is. Techno waves back slightly and continues on his way. Birds fly out of his way that were previously on the stone path, having been spooked.

When he reaches the long grass he sees Tommy sitting by the willow tree, Wilbur in the hammock reading a book. When Tommy sees him he smiles brightly and allows him to walk over. His hair is out of a braid for the first time. It feels nice to have his hair move with the wind.

"Hello," Techno greets them with a wave, a smile not showing on his face.

"How did it go with Father?" Wilbur asks and peers over his book at the god standing by the foot of the hammock.

"Not well," Techno sighs and sits on the grass beside Tommy.

"What did you talk about?" Tommy asks and tilts his head to the side, his white wings beat twice behind him. They almost hit Techno in the face, but just barely miss him.

"You don't need to know," Techno begins to fiddle with the gold ring sitting on his finger. He'll never forget one thing, that this was gifted to him by Philza.

"Don't treat me like I'm a fucking baby!" Tommy protests immediately, "I can know! I can handle it!"

"Tommy, you don't need to know," Techno says once again, more slowly and demanding this time. Tommy huffs, blowing goldenhair out of his face as he does.

"Y'know, while you were gone, I had to do all the work. Wilbur, it's much easier when you're around, I'll say that."

"Well, you were my substitute in a way," Wilbur shrugs, only half-paying attention. He's way too invested in his book.

Then, Tommy's eyes light up like he just saw his favorite thing. A smile spreads across his face and he turns to Techno. Techno sighs, knowing it's going to be an absurd question most likely.

"Can I take you to meet Tubbo?" Tommy smiles brightly, eyes lighting up like a night sky full of stars.

Techno ponders the question for a moment. Is it worth going to the village? Or the marketplace? He can't control himself all that well, what if somebody were to provoke him? He could hurt somebody. But, every bit of him wants to see Tommy smile, so he says yes.

"I don't see why not," Techno shrugs,

"Can I come?" Wilbur asks gleefully, suddenly looking up from his book.

"You'll have to ask Father," Tommy points to the castle in the distance. Wilbur frowns and goes back to his book. He knows Philza would say no. At least in some form, say no.

"I'm sorry, Wilbur," Techno says, he still feels bad Wilbur is confined to this property. While it is large, it must get boring every once in a while.

"It's fine," Wilbur shrugs and smiles at them, "I'll be here waiting. Just make sure to get me some food, will you?"

"Will do, Will!" Tommy smiles and grabs Techno's hand, catching him off guard. He smacks his hand away rougher than he meant to.

"Oh gods, I'm sorry, Tommy," Techno rushes to apologize and holds Tommy's hand in his own, rubbing small circles on it.

"It's fine," Tommy winces and chuckles quietly to himself. Then, he goes right back to dragging him away like nothing happened. It makes Technoblade happy to know Tommy doesn't care.

He feels understood, in a strange way. How can a teenager understand him in any way? Let alone the angel of life, who's wings flutter happily behind him as they run through the field, leaving Wilbur behind?