13: Be There For You

For once, he didn't care about the consequences and approached you.

You didn't notice that he already was in front of you, crouched down.

You felt someone held your shoulders.

You finally look up to be met with Draco's eyes, you could see that he was very worried about you.

"Lia, what's wrong?" he asked.

You tried to tell him, but when you think back, your tears came harder and your sobs became louder.

Draco pulled you to his chest, embraced you with his arms. He held you close like he was holding you together from breaking apart. With your forehead lying on his shoulders, you cried into his chest. Your hands find his chest and gripped his clothes firmly.

You could feel Draco's hands rubbing your back, trying to comfort you.

"Let it out, I'm here for you." he said to you. Draco knew you've been holding back ever since you came back, and yet he didn't do anything to help you. Now that he's here, he will not let you hold back anymore. He will make sure that you will not go through this without him.

You don't know how long both of you stayed like that, but you finally calmed down.

"You okay?" Draco asked, making you remember the nightmare again.

You sniff, holding back from crying again.

"Y-Yeah." Your voice cracked a little. You reach up and wrap your arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. You were trying not to cry so hard, but the memory brought your tears back. You desperately needed someone for you to hold onto.

"Do you want to tell me?" Draco asked you.

He could feel your arms around his neck tighten, but you still nodded against his neck.

"You don't have to tell me-"

"No, I want to." You cut him off. Finally regaining your voice to tell him.

You regain your breath and relaxes into Draco's embrace as he quietly waits for you.

"Before Christmas, my parents decided to take the entire family to the holiday mansion to celebrate Christmas there." Draco vaguely recalled you mentioning the holiday mansion before.

"On the way there, we..." you trembled at the memory.

"Got into an accident." You make out the words with a shaky voice.

Your tears made themselves known as they rolled down your cheek again for what seems like the hundredth time tonight.

"My parents... didn't make it." You sniffed again.

"I'm so sorry, Lia." He apologized to you, he couldn't believe that you went through this alone.

He felt mad at himself, upset that he let you go through this alone. Blaming himself that he couldn't help you go through this sooner. Furious that he wasn't able to comfort you when you needed him.

How could he let you become like this?

"After the accident, I woke up. I saw my parents and siblings, bloody, Draco." You voice knock Draco from his thought.

"I could've saved them, Draco. But I couldn't find my wand anywhere. I could only watch and then I passed out." You told him, sobbing again.

"It's not-" Draco tried to interrupt but you cut him off.

"I could've saved them, but I didn't. I let them die, Draco. I had the ability to help them and I let them die. They were right in front of me, but I couldn't do anything to save them. What's the point of being a witch when I couldn't even save my own parents, Draco?" you called out.

The accident wasn't your fault, but you couldn't help but feel it's your fault that your parent's died.

You cried harder than before. You were almost shouting, finally letting everything out despite you cried already earlier.

"It's my fault they died, Draco. If I could've just found my wand, they could've been alive now. Now I won't ever see my parents again, just because I couldn't find my wand." You made the words out, blaming everything on yourself.

Then, you heard Draco.

"Lia, look at me." Draco said.

You refuse to pull back and let him look at you. You don't want him to see you anymore in this state.

"Lia, please love, look at me."

You didn't notice that he called you love, but you did release his neck from your arms and pulled back to look at him.

Draco removed his arms from your waist and cupped your face with his palms. He wiped your tears away with his thumb.

"It was not your fault, Lia." Draco tried to cheer you up.

"But it is, Draco! I'm now having nightmares every night of the very same accident, I saw my parents die again and again. I see them haunting me every night, telling me it was my fault that they are dead." You look down again to your knees. Feeling guilty of your parents' death, ashamed of yourself that you couldn't save your parents.

Draco placed his hands under your chin, lifting your head up to face him.

"Listen to me. I want you to believe what I will say next." He said seriously, it's rare to see Draco serious like this. So you just nodded.

"The accident wasn't your fault; neither is your parent's death. You tried to help but it was inevitable. I'm sure the nightmare you had was not true; your parents' love you so I'm sure they don't blame you for anything at all. So you don't have to feel guilty for anything because none of it is your fault." Draco tried to convince you. It almost worked, but your guilt pulled you back.

"How do you know that? How do you know that my parents don't hate me? How do they not hate for not saving them?" you voiced your doubts.

"Because, from what you told me about your family, I know that they love you very much. They won't hate you for anything. They are your parents, they will understand. They know you tried and they're happy that you did." Draco answered your question.

"But, because of me, my siblings lost their parents. Because of me, they became orphans. And my grandmother lost her child, just because I couldn't find my wand!" you fought back again, lowering your head and looked down.

"They don't blame you, Lia. They know it's not your fault. They must be happy that you survived." Draco assured you again. But your mind kept searching for reasons to say that it's your fault.

"But-" you tried to protest again.

"No more buts. You tried and that's enough. It's not your fault, Lia." But, Draco was quick to cut you off, making you look up at him.

For the first time tonight, you finally looked into Draco's eyes. You saw there was sadness in his eyes, Draco was sad for you. But there was also guilt and regret.

Why would he feel that?

"You have to stop blaming yourself. I'm sure your parents wouldn't want to see you this way." Draco continued.

You finally accepted everything and nodded your head.

Then, it hit you. You lost your parents too. You've been focusing so much on blaming yourself that you forget that they're your parents too.

Draco sighed with relief, he finally got you to believe that it wasn't your fault.

Then, he felt you cling to him, wrapping him with your arms once again.

"You okay?" he asked worriedly.

You nodded against his chest.

"Yeah... Can we stay like this...? Just for a moment..." You pleaded weakly.

"Whatever you need." He said, encouraging her by stroking her hair.

That was your cue to start crying again, grieving and mourning your parents.