Chapter 12: Reaching Out

Jake's POV:

Alright, my little brother still won't tell me anything. He wasn't annoying me like he used to every morning. He and I are absent from school- I guess you already know why Miles is absent. He told my mom that he wasn't feeling well. My mom told him to just go to school already, but he didn't listen; so mom just brushed it off.

I was absent because I had a headache. It doesn't have anything to do with "love from Sean" or anything, it's just there. But I still hate it. And I told my mom and she told me to stay home.

I also told Sean in my messages that I wasn't feeling good and he was worried that I had some kind of virus since the mall was a bit crowded. I told him not to worry and I definitely did not have a virus. It's really sweet how he kept messaging me, though. I love him so much...

A-Anyway, enough about that.

Every 4 hours I kept checking how Matt was doing. His door was slightly open; ajar almost. I peeked inside from the door in Matt's room. Luckily, it doesn't creak like mine.

I looked at him. He's just sitting there; headphones above his ear, his face was all red like he'd been crying for hours. There's also a tissue next to him. I looked more and saw Oreo laying right next to him on the bed; probably sleeping.

With hesitation, I knocked quietly on the door.

"Who is it?!" My brother yelled.

I sigh. Then, I opened the door and smiled lightly. "Can I come in?"

"Go away." Matt hissed at me and laid back down on his pillow, crossing his arms.

"Your door was open." I told him. "I'm not gonna bother you or anything. I just wanted to see if you were... I don't know... alright?"

Matt looked at me with disapproving eyes, but surprisingly, he sat up from his bed and rolled his eyes. "Okay, what do you want?"

I sighed with relief to myself. I closed the door, finally and sat on his bed.

It's...been a while since we've done this. I looked at him with curious eyes.

"I need to tell you something."

Matt looked at me with a sad expression. I almost felt bad for saying this to him, but he needs to know.

"Matt..." I sighed. "How did you end up in that alleyway?" I felt like I was being really direct with him.

My little brother looked away and put his arms around his legs. "Why do you care?"

"Because I'm just...confused." I told him. "Why would you go into an alleyway those bullies go to? Matt, don't tell me you went with the gangs from your eighth grade class-"

"I did, okay?!" Matt interrupted me. I saw tears fall from his eyes and his face turned bright red. He sniffed and breathed heavily; I almost didn't know what to do. I just stood there with my eyes widening. I had never seen my brother like this before. "I-I d-d-didn't want them to think that I- I..."

It looked like Matt couldn't control his sobbing. Without hesitation, I pulled him close to me, but he wasn't pulling me away or even accepting the embrace. I rubbed his back to try to make the crying go away. He continued what he was about to say before. "I- I like t-this boy in my English class."

'What?'

"I- I didn't want t-them to think I l-liked him s-so I..." Matt sniffed under his breath. "I joined them..."

I pulled him away from me. "Matt, why didn't you tell me about this?" I sighed.

"B-because m-mom and d-dad favors you over me...I didn't think you would care!" Matt crossed his arms, still getting over his sobs. I tilted my head, I was about to say why; but he answered for me. "T-they would always ask if you were okay. T-today I said I was sick and they didn't believe me, but you?" he scoffed. "You get away with everything. Even though I know it's a lie. I only stopped today because I know you 'do' have a headache."

I can't believe I didn't realize this...

Sean was right the whole time.

"I-I'm sorry if I was mean to you. Those were just stupid comments from those stupid eigth graders." Matt sniffed. "A-and that thing I said before? I..."

"Well, you're right. I can't forgive everything you said to me before." I said, then I continued with a light smile. "But I am happy you told me about this."

This made Matt look up to my eyes.

Right now, I can understand why Matt had always been rude to me. It's not common for him to spill these kinds of things to me. But, now I guess I can tell he kind of trusts me now. I still couldn't forgive everything he said... but, this is the start, I guess.

"Sure." Matt mumbled to me.

There was a little awkward pause between us. It was silent for a minute that I couldn't handle it anymore. I coughed to break it; looking at Oreo right next to us. "Uhm... I guess I'll go now-"

I stood up, but my brother stopped me. "Wait!" He said.

I turned to him. "Hm?"

"Ugh! Whatever; nevermind, just go and do whatever." My brother put a blanket under his legs, making Oreo open his eyes a little bit and went back to sleep. The little blonde boy yelped, seeing if our dog was okay. He then faced me and immediately turned to the ground. It looked like he was avoiding me.

"Hey, I'm happy to stay if you want me to." I shrugged and sat back down, petting Oreo's head as I did so; he wagged his tail happily. It made my face lighten a bit. "You don't have to feel bad or anything."

"I don't feel bad." Matt argued. He groaned; I could tell he wanted to say something, but there was something in him that made him not wanna say anything.

"Alright, fine." I rolled my eyes. I tried not to get mad and focus on my little brother. "But just know that you can tell me anything."

"Okay." He said bluntly. He paused for a while and it got awkward again. "Why does mom and dad choose you over me?"

"I..." I didn't know how to respond to that. "Miles, mom does love you. And dad? All you need to do is question him about it."

"But every time I tell them something, they ignore me."

"That's probably because you're young and need self contr-" I stopped for a moment. I took a glance at him and seeing his sweet sorrowful face, I decided to give him only encouraging words. I'm not good at this therapy thing-whatever you call it, but I'm trying my best. I took a deep breath, being careful with my words. "Okay. You're right. Mom and dad ignoring you is hard. But, all you have to do is tell them about it. If they don't listen to you when you tell them, that's a sign that you need to ask someone for help. If you did tell them and they didn't listen to you, I should have been the one helping you. I should've been a good big brother and helped you when you're feeling this way, but it's hard when you're the one not opening up to me."

I looked down. What I said...

I feel like a hypocrite.

This is what my friends are telling me all this time, but I still didn't know what they were saying until now. I guess I just didn't know the words to describe it. It's like what Sean said back at the fountain. He knows how to open up, but I'm the one scared to open up because I'm afraid to lose him. That's what I'm afraid of. And I think that's what my brother was afraid of, too. I start to wonder if this is the gene thing. Have our parents felt the same? I think Hailey's words from last year are getting to me.

My brother fell silent at what I said. "What if it gets awkward when I tell them? What if they don't say anything?"

I scoffed. "Then I'll convince them. Or... you can always tell me and I'll try to help you."

I wanted to pet his spiky hair, but I'm afraid he'd get mad at me. For the first time, I felt like I finally had a real younger brother.

My brother was about to say something because he began to open his mouth.

I could have sworn I saw almost a light smile form in the side of his face, but maybe that's just me imagining it. I couldn't see it because Oreo finally arose from his nap and wagged his tail happily.

It made me jump, I yelped. Our black and white furred dog started licking Matt's face and he started trying to get the dog out of him. "Oreo! Agh! Get off me!" For almost what seemed like forever, I saw him laugh. And it wasn't his evil laugh from when he trash talked me before, it was a real, sweet laugh, and smile. I saw him look up to me and looked down again; Oreo was still getting all over him.

I slightly formed a curve on my face and I felt like my headache finally went away.

I finally reached out to my brother...

Like I said before, it will still be hard to forgive him for what he said to me before, but maybe this means he'll start opening up to me and we'll be brothers. And this time: real brothers.

***

Once Jake left because of his headache, Matt laid down on his bed again. He thought about what his brother said and closed his eyes as he thought about the horrible things he said to him before this day. Why did it have to result in Matt getting hurt for him to open up about his feelings? The little boy sighed and stared at the ceiling.

He will not forgive himself after what he said to Jake. He did say sorry, but that wasn't enough. That was just a small thing-one 'small' thing! If only there was a way for him to help Jake. To show it.

But what?

***

Ey people! As promised, I published this week.

I actually dont know what I did for this chapter so if there are grammer mistakes I sincerely apologize. The next chapter is already in the making and I am almost done with this story! :3

Thanks for reading bai~