17

It's been five days since Lip came over and apologized.Five days since we made eye contact.Five days since I heard his voice.Five days since he said "I love you."

Those words echoed in my head every time the world went quiet. But every time I closed my eyes, all I could see was him on top of her.

Conner and Lucas still went over to the Gallaghers to hang out with Debbie and Carl. Conner said Lip hadn't really been out of his room much. Just stayed locked away.

I walked outside to check the mail when I saw Ian jogging down the steps of the house next door.

"Hey, Erin," he said, flashing that soft, crooked smile.

"Hey. What's up?" I asked, closing the mailbox and meeting his eyes.

"How are you holding up?" he asked gently, voice low and kind like he actually gave a damn.

"I'm doing alright. Going fucking nuts though," I said with a little laugh, rubbing my arms. "How are you and Mickey? He kind of hinted at it the other day, then I felt like a total piece of shit for revenge-fucking him."

My cheeks burned as soon as the words left my mouth.

Ian smirked. "Don't worry about it. We're not exclusive or anything. Seriously. No hard feelings."

"Still. Sorry."

"Water under the bridge. Gotta run—literally. Work calls. Take care, Erin." He jogged off, giving me a parting wave.

I turned and started walking back up the porch steps when I heard someone call out behind me.

"Erin."

I froze.

It was Lip.

His voice was scratchy, raw, like he hadn't used it much lately. Or slept. I turned slowly, and there he was, standing on the edge of the Gallagher porch, hands in the pockets of his hoodie, shoulders hunched, like he was holding himself together by a thread.

"Erin," he said again, louder this time.

My eyes met his. He didn't look away. I didn't either.

"Hi," I said, my voice cracking. My chest tightened. Not because I was angry, not anymore. I just missed him.

"I'm sorry," he said, those stupid blue eyes locking on mine like he was afraid I'd vanish.

"I know," I whispered, and the first tear slipped free. He stepped off the porch, still staring at me, his steps slow and cautious.

I nodded. That was all it took.

He sprinted the rest of the way, crossed the yard, and before I could even catch my breath, he was kissing me—hard.

His arms wrapped around my waist like he was afraid I'd slip away, like he needed to feel every inch of me just to know I was still real. It wasn't gentle. It was desperate, full of all the anger and regret and longing we'd both been swallowing for days.

When he finally pulled back, his breath was shaky. His forehead leaned against mine, and his voice dropped low.

"I fucked up," he whispered. "I know I did. And if you tell me to fuck off, I will. But I'm not gonna lie to you, Erin. I meant what I said. I love you. I don't know what the hell that's supposed to look like for someone like me, but I feel it, and it's driving me outta my fucking mind."

I swallowed, heart pounding.

"You hurt me, Lip," I said quietly.

"I know," he said, his voice cracking for the first time. "I've never wanted to crawl out of my own skin so bad. I couldn't even look at myself. I didn't sleep. I didn't eat. I just kept thinking how fucking stupid I was to even look at someone else when I had you."

I shook my head slowly. "I don't need a speech."

"I'm not giving one," he said, pulling back just enough to look at me fully. "I'm just... I'm trying to be honest with you. Probably for the first time in my life."

Silence settled for a beat.

Then I stepped closer again, resting my head against his chest. His arms tightened around me immediately, like he was scared to let go.

"I missed you," I mumbled.

"I missed you so fucking bad," he whispered into my hair. "I couldn't even listen to music without thinking about you. Couldn't hear the boys talk about anything without wondering if you were okay."

I pulled back, just enough to look at him again. "Are you done being an asshole?"

He gave the tiniest, sheepish smirk. "Probably not. But I'm done being an asshole to you."

I let out a soft laugh, even as tears kept falling. "Then come inside."

He nodded, wiping my tears with the edge of his sleeve, and followed me up the steps, his hand never leaving mine.Lip followed me into my room without a word. The door shut behind us with a quiet click, but everything else felt loud—the air between us, the tension in my chest, the look in his eyes like he was about to fall apart and put himself back together all at once.

He stepped close, hands cupping my face gently like he wasn't sure he deserved to touch me. I leaned in before he could second-guess it, brushing my lips against his. The kiss was soft, slower than the ones on the porch. It wasn't rushed now—it was real.

"I don't wanna just say I love you," he whispered against my mouth. "I wanna show it."

"You better," I murmured, my fingers sliding under his shirt and pushing it up over his head.

He helped, tossing it to the side, then tugged at mine until we were skin to skin, our foreheads touching as we breathed each other in. When we kissed again, it deepened, everything we'd been holding back pouring out—frustration, guilt, forgiveness, longing. It was all there, in the way his mouth moved over mine, in the way his hands found my waist and held me like I was something he didn't think he'd ever get back.

We sank onto the bed, tangled in sheets and limbs, mouths never leaving each other for long. Lip wasn't rough—he was intentional. His touch was steady, almost reverent, like he wanted to memorize every reaction, every sound I made. He kissed down my chest, my stomach, and looked up at me just once before he kept going—checking in, asking without words. I nodded, my breath hitching, and he kept moving like he knew me.

When he moved inside me, it wasn't rushed. It was quiet. Slow. A steady rhythm that built and built until we couldn't hold back anymore. We clung to each other through it, lips brushing, hands grasping, hearts racing. His forehead pressed against mine, and all he said was my name, like it was the only thing he had left.

When it was over, he stayed close. Kissed the inside of my wrist. Brushed my hair back from my face and just looked at me like he was still afraid this would disappear.

"I'm not going anywhere," I whispered, tracing the scar on his shoulder with my fingertip.

"Good," he murmured. "'Cause I'm pretty sure this is the only place I wanna be."

We lay there in the quiet for a while, breathing slowing, hearts still syncing. Eventually, we got dressed again and padded downstairs, both of us drawn to the couch like it was neutral territory. Lip dropped down first, pulling me into his lap, and I curled into his chest, head resting over his heartbeat. The TV was off. The lights low. It was the kind of silence that finally felt like peace.

And then—

"Ohhhhhh my god," Conner's voice cut through the living room like a megaphone. "They're cuddling! Ew!"

Lucas came in right behind him, holding a bag of chips. "Are you two seriously in love now or something? Did we miss a wedding upstairs?"

Lip didn't even flinch. "Yup. Erin's my wife now. You both missed the vows. Also, Lucas—you're grounded. For life."

"For what?" Lucas yelped.

"For being annoying," Lip muttered, pulling the blanket over us.

Conner walked over dramatically and pointed at me. "Blink twice if you've been brainwashed."

I just laughed and flipped him off without lifting my head. "I'm exactly where I wanna be."

"Oh, gross," Lucas muttered, popping a chip in his mouth. "I liked it better when you two hated each other."

"We never hated each other," Lip said lazily. "We were just dumb."

Conner dropped onto the floor in front of the couch, grabbing the remote. "Well, if you're gonna be boring and in love, the least you can do is let us watch Aliens vs. Robots 3."

Lip rolled his eyes, but his hand didn't leave my waist. "Deal. But if I see any tears, I'm mocking both of you."

Lucas flopped down next to Conner. "As long as you keep your gross couple stuff to yourselves, we'll allow it."

I smiled, snuggled closer into Lip's chest, and felt him press a quiet kiss into my hair.

This? This was ours again.

And finally, it felt right.